[Closed] What am I still doing here??? (work content)

I suspect when the chap said 'the stars aligned' what he actually meant was 'I invested a lot of time and money'.

I would say if you're not happy where you are, then change it - talk to your wife, explain what you're feeling and maybe try to come up with a list of alternatives, and figure out how - if - you can make them happen.

Does everyone who "gave up the rat race" make a success of it? Are they happy with their choices?

Does that matter?

Go for it but think of others who may be saying do it, but look at the real effect on them. I had a fantastic lifestyle life. Luckily the inevitable (in my case) knock on effects at end of the game hasn’t dragged anyone in. I’ve been lucky enough that my selfish behaviour hasn’t caused too much shit for others.

Dirkpitt74, I can sympathise with you. Same job here for nearly 25years, building maintenance and projects, varied and can be interesting but it is principally same day in day out. Pro's.....I leave work at 5 and dont think about it until 9.30am next day when I walk back in. Cons....I kinda know whats going to happen every day and thats dull, very dull. And I hate people (managers) telling me what to do/needs doing.

Anyway, 10 years ago I was ready to leave, 6 months ago some changes happened at work that I am not happy about so am definitely leaving, I was just worried about losing that security blanket of a monthly wage for 25years. I love gardening/landscaping so started getting a few gardening clients I could do at weekend and evenings as too scared to just quit work to go to nothing (although financially secure, no mortgage, kids left home, wife has own successful business). Yesterday I was offered 3 day a week as head grounds maintenance at a top wedding venue which has woodland, lakes and pastures..........I cannot wait to start, I get to drive a tractor and mess with chainsaws, own shed in wood and outdoors! Sitting here at work now just seems pointless but I've got to work my notice (3 days a week for next 4 weeks so not too bad).

Life too short, just leave and see what happens, you wont be destitute. Dont waste your life like I have last 10 years, get out there and do what you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do (unless thats what you want to do!). The change in me since yesterday is immense, I didn't know it was affecting me that much. JUST DO IT and enjoy

You sound like me OP. Cant help but i think writing down the things that you'd like to see yourself doing is a good start though.

(and by my rough maths picking up a tidy £2.5k/week in the peak summer weeks).

Wonder how much he "picks up" in the shitty winter season, or how much his van costs, and how hard it is to be nice to people every day when it's sunny and you'd rather be off doing something on your own but you have to milk every bit out of the summer because it's a long cold damp winter.

Go and read Reset by David Sawyer.   It was recommended to me on here, and I'm passing that on to you.  Its made for your situation and is very good.

I don't especially enjoy being a wage-slave, my dad tells me it's better to be unhappy with some money coming in than unhappy with no money coming in.
If you can find something you love and which pays, well you've hit the jackpot.
But you only see one side of things with those kind of tour services - they have to be jolly and show a happy face to the punters - but it must come with its own stresses like "are we going to get enough bookings for next season" etc.
If you are a bit depressed then I'd start "dreaming" about what you really want to do, but to then approach the change with small steps rather than doing anything too dramatic.

First up, it sounds like that particular workplace is bad for you. Leave it, within the next 6 months. In an orderly fashion, to another job ideally, but leave it. It isn't going to get better.

he’d had enough and ‘the stars aligned’

"I'd had enough and the stars aligned" translates as I got sacked, and realised that I was so pissed off with the unfairness of the whole traditional workplace model that I should finally actually *do* that new business idea I'd had for years but always been to scared to put into practice. Ask me how I know this... 🙂

I have met a few people who have genuinely chosen to step away from a job that's secure, pays enough, and comfortable to start their own thing. But the vast majority have had it forced on them and then realised that it's time to sh*t or get off the pot in the whole "I could've been something" debate.
Problem is as you get older, more tied down and with more commitments, it gets ever tougher to leave of your own accord - what happens to the mortgage/ rent? What if you can't make a new business work and you end up in penury? Wouldn't it be better to wait another year until [xxx] happens?

The bit that caught my eye was: "nearly 12 months on from a nervous breakdown, 8 months on anti-depressants feeling like I’m going nowhere fast?" The first question you need to ask yourself (honestly!) is whether you feel mentally stable/resilient enough to take a leap into potential failure if you leave and your next job doesn't work out.

It's easy for people to shout 'jump' but if you're not ready then you're not going to make a true success of it. If things are really dragging you down and you have some savings then hand your notice in with the intention of unwinding for a couple of months before looking for something else.

Just remember that the grass is always greener because it's fertilised with bulls**t 😉

Looking back on what I wrote, I think I should have been more positive.
There are lots of opportunities out there to do new exciting things and earn money.
Infact, the economy is changing so quickly, that change isn't just a good thing - it increasingly has to be embraced.
The phrase which gets me through life at the moment is "Step by Step", and it seems to work as it slows down my sometimes racing mind.
Best of luck.

Although I can’t offer any advice I think sometimes it’s nice to read about how you’re not alone and you’re thread really struck home. I’ve been doing my current job for almost 6 years now and at the end of each academic year I think ‘not another’. It’s not a job I applied for, someone said we need someone with your skills do you fancy it and I decided the reception role I was doing would be a dead end. They’ve closed the college I was based at this summer hols so I’ve been facing the prospect of a now 16 mile commute which goes across the city and takes more than an hour so 30 miles a day fuel costs and now I need to hire someone for my dog as I’m away for ten hours a day

I’ve just got back from a three week holiday to Canada which I had booked for more than a year and looking forward to for three years. Two days before I left they told me I was at risk of redundancy, I would leave with 6 weeks pay and £2.5k and I was prudent enough to get redundancy insurance (finally I can make a claim against and insurance rather than peeing it down the drain). I could ride lots more, paint the living room, live super carefully while hunting so I came back from my amazing holiday with £400 still in my bank.

First day back on Monday. You’re no longer at risk you’ve been matched to a vacancy which will now see you travelling all over Birmingham to recruit to something that nobody wants to do. Oh and you have no choice.

Unsurprisingly I’ve spent all of this week being extremely angry. My dad as another poster said thinks all people hate their jobs like he did and have to put up with it like he did. He had two kids and a mortgage so a different situation. Met so many people in Canada who had gone for a season and were still there and despite being a genuine person nothing ever works out for me that same way and each passing day gets harder and harder.

We used to holiday in Scotland as a children and I always said I’ll live here when I retire. Despite being 36 I’ve made a pact that September 2020 that will change.

Do it.

Speaking as someone who dropped the non-enjoyable job for one I'm much better suited for I cannot recommend it enough.

As for your mental health, well, I can definitely relate to you there as well and as such I am able to say that there is something about being proactive and making bold and constructive life decisions that has a massive, positive effect on all the other areas of your life, including (and perhaps most effectively) your mental health.

Wonder how much he “picks up” in the shitty winter season, or how much his van costs, and how hard it is to be nice to people every day when it’s sunny and you’d rather be off doing something on your own but you have to milk every bit out of the summer because it’s a long cold damp winter.

Maybe listen to Brant - the issue is even average or semi-intelligent people get bored of doing the same thing day in and day out. People are curious cats, but it gets beaten out of them by drudgery and office politics.

Brant appears to me, to be one of those people who have a curious enthusiasm for a number of different things. You need to develop this, the curious enthusiasm and then master the topics related to it - then apply those topics to multiple fields or areas. This applies to literally everything, from being a musician or being a plumber to being a scientist.

Find something that makes you curious and retrain in it, you also need to surround yourself with more positive people who have their own interests and curiosities and listen to their ideas. Don't work with people who just go home everyday, apathetically switch on their tvs to watch love island and shove takeaway food down their mouths.

It doesn't have to be some awesome "lifestyle" job, think of anything you have read that has peaked your interest and had you read more, do that.

"despite being a genuine person nothing ever works out for me that same way" @golfchick I've also had little success (at anything) and fell into what I thought was yet another a dead-end, low pay and crap job, it was only ever intended to be for less than a year as I was going to go back to uni. I got the role because no one else would do it. I've been on the verge of being sacked because I had so much time off ill.
I was lucky that I had some interest in what I was doing but how it was done was a great source of stress. I'm lucky enough to be in a developing sector and was able to make subtle changes to my role that made it easier for me to operate. I've only been doing it for a couple of years and I've increased production by over 37% year on year, whilst I making it easier for myself. It's not something I expected to do but I do but now I love it. I had my appraisal today and my bosses only criticism was that I need to temper my passion a little bit, I was also offered a promotion 😀
It's a risk and a bit of a gamble but you'll regret not trying to find your happiness

Interestingly, when I read that book up there I realised I was happy with my job 80% of the time, but the 20% of the time it stressed me out dominated 80% of my time.  I took a bit of day to day direction/common sense from the book, discussed with my wife and agreed what our plan over the next 10 years is, and realised that my job allows me to achieve the outcome I want but also affords the flexibility for my family / biking needs in the meantime.

What I found what I tempered the stress by knowing I am working toward a purpose, and that purpose has an end rather than just flailing away at nothing for the corporate good.

Vis a vis I’ve had a shit day today, but am able to justify it on the basis of the outcome the many better days will bring.  I’m happier.  Maybe try the same process before jacking it in OP.

brant

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(and by my rough maths picking up a tidy £2.5k/week in the peak summer weeks).
Wonder how much he “picks up” in the shitty winter season, or how much his van costs, and how hard it is to be nice to people every day when it’s sunny and you’d rather be off doing something on your own but you have to milk every bit out of the summer because it’s a long cold damp winter.

I would imagine there is 3 seasons worth of wildlife spotting and the point of doing a job you like is that you like it!

OP what do you fancy doing?

What are you and the majority of the people doing? Modern life.

Thanks all - kind of nice to see I'm not alone in feeling like this.

I currently work in Engineering/Construction - but I have no enthusiasm left for it - seems like the same crap on each job for the last 25 years - it never seems to move forward.

As for what I'd like to do - outdoor pursuits, MTB guiding, mobile bike mechanic, Forest ranger.

Fired off an email to HR about potentially reducing hours to give me 1 day a fortnight off. Have spoken to a couple of people about guiding courses and first aid training too.

I'd love to be working on cars or motorbikes all day, I work in IT. My mate is a mechanic, he's thought of switching to IT.

We have both had our fair share of depression/anxiety and usually the biggest thing we want to change is the job we're in. But we've both learned that while it seems like a good idea, it usually comes with it's own set of challenges.

You have to weigh up if you could live your life comfortably after that much of a drastic change to your circumstances. Is your idea of how to bring money in sustainable and would your partner actually, truly, be on board. W all come back from a holiday to the hum drum of daily life with lofty ideas of how to make everyday feel like that, but the reality is almost always way harder than you think it's going to be and may do more damage in the long term.

The grass is always greener over the fence, but maybe he's just got a better lawnmower

I relocated from Merseyside to a village on the West Coast of Scotland for 3 years. A chance meeting in a pub in Manchester saw me getting a train to Inverness to take a converted trawler across to Bergen then work everywhere from St Kilda and back for 3 years. My longest shift 60 hours straight. Nearly killed twice. Awful weather for months on end, stress and fear. Stag hunting, fishing, countless wildlife experiences, amazing places and people. Saved a fortune by my standards and bought a house. Three years was enough though. I know kind of want to go back and still visit twice a year. A guy driving his minibus will not tell you the downsides, don’t put your punters on a bummer, bad for business. I’ve got a friend on Skye who now loathes how busy it’s become. On some of the Islands new arrivals will only last two winters before leaving, it’s a harsh place but also one of the most beautiful on the planet. If you require security it can be impossible to make the leap. If you can say frig it and see what happens great things can or not happen Don’t sell your house though rent it first and see how it goes if you make the move. I also had no dependants when I did which made my choice a lot easier. A comfortable life can sometimes be the worst kind of life in my opinion. Other opinions are available of course. Good luck with any decisions you make. Condolences about your mum, I’m in a similar position and find it very hard still.

Post Holiday Melancholy. A very common phenomenon.

It probably means you had a great holiday with the people you love.

^ A bit of this.

I've had enough of my job frankly. I've put up with the politics and bo-lax for years now and frankly I'm over it. I'm fortunate in that I don't really need a job so i'm putting myself first and getting out. I'll do a portfolio career I think and please myself first and foremost.

I been having mini retirements for the last 20 years. I work more or less 6 months and 6 months traveling. It means making sacrifices and facing your fears, but knowing there is another world of opportunities out there.
When I am traveling, I still work. I call it a working holiday, even my job in the UK Mobile Bicycle Mechanic is a working holiday. I get to meet great people, chat bikes and find out/share where the best trails are.
When traveling, I go in my campervan with my bikes, mainly to Spain. I wild camp, couchsurf, live with a family, volunteer with WWOOF, that lets me know the local area, food and meet the locals. I also spend time in Colombia and has become a great place for all types of cyclists.
I am always looking for new business ideas while I am traveling.
Don't work for money, do something you enjoy and serve others.

About Lost Traditions

I left a workplace (university sector) and fairly well paid job that I'd been in for 12 years, but had begun to absolutely hate. Started up my own business, which ultimately turned out to be a total moneypit. Fortunately, I met some great people along the way, including my current business partner, with whom I now run a related but different business.

We have much less money now, - I had to sell my Lotus to fund things, and am only just about to get back into a half decent car after several years of running round in something I borrowed from my parents. However, I'd say that I'm much happier.

If I did things again, I wouldn't change much, but I'd probably have got more money behind me before quitting, rather than flouncing off quite quickly (as I did).

JP

Change jobs.

Update your CV, get on LinkedIn, register on job boards and start looking. Even doing this can be quite cathartic. It gives you a sense that you are doing something about it. If interviews start coming in, fantastic! .

In the meantime spend some time thinking. Is there something else you could be doing?

If you are unhappy in work and do nothing then you feel trapped and it just gets worse and worse. Sitting and moping will get you nowhere.