What age would you ...
 

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[Closed] What age would you / have you left the kids on their own?

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I'm talking about ten minutes whilst you nip to the paper shop or something similar, not a full blown night on the razz. Some people we know (kids of 11 and 8) are quite happy to walk the dog etc leaving the kids at home, we're not all that sure.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 8:53 pm
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11 is fine for brief trip out


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 8:57 pm
 CHB
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11 and 14. Left all day sometimes. It's not about the age, its about the kid. I know 20 year olds I wouldn't leave alone.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:00 pm
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Our daughter is 10 & we left her in the house for 20 mins recently for the first time and she was fine. I think its a lot down to the personality of the child, but we were happy enough, having told her not to answer the door or the phone


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:02 pm
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There is a law about this, use that as a guideline.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:02 pm
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The law being 14? I genuinely don't know?


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:04 pm
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I live opposite a pub. I worked out that if I stood at the far end of the bar the baby monitor still picked up a reception from the littleuns bedroom. 😀

Well he was only 5 months old and I only picked up a pint and took it home. I wasn't gone for more than 2 minutes and its no different to being in the garage with the monitor is it!


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:04 pm
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Our youngest is ten and got his own key to let himself in when he walks home alone from school. It's just over a mile. It will depend on the child, but ours walk the dog and go to the paper shop at 10. When the eldest got to fourteen we stopped hiring babysitters and let them get on with it themselves. They have to grow up sometime, you have to trust them, but also teach them how to deal with an emergency.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:06 pm
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12 yr old daughter - couple of hours after school some days, doors locked when she's in, and walks the dogs if its not raining (her rule) or dark (mine).

The boys - no chance.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:06 pm
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No law as such:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-parents-and-carers/parenting-advice/home-alone/home-alone_wda90761.html

Personally I agree with CHB...


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:06 pm
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There is a law about this, use that as a guideline.

No there isn't. Not one which defines a specific age anyway.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:09 pm
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Depends on the kid. If you left my friend's 16-year-old at home alone he'd sell the TV.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:10 pm
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12 is OK to nip to the shop imo. Am aware of neighbors doing same for 10 year old.

Am not sure there are any age specific laws, just 'reasonable' care.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:11 pm
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Having found a 4yr old wandering the streets having been left home alone... maybe 5?


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:12 pm
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I was catching the tube then bus then walking to school at 10. I reckon that was fine and I was certainly fine home alone for a while too at that age.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:12 pm
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You're doing it wrong. When they get to the age they can be left, you send them out to the shop and walking the dog!


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:13 pm
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10 fine if the kid is up for it. I remember being left for a few hours when we were 10 or so, no massive issue really.

Things seem to have changed though as my sister in law's kids can't manage more than 10 mins (one is turning 13) and she wont even send her to the shop round the corner etc.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:20 pm
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Ours are soon to be 11 and just 8, the 11 yr old will be walking to "big school" come September, so we thought it was time to give her a bit more responsibility.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:40 pm
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My daughter who is 16 has watched her Bro and sister 11 and 9 for the day , When I say watched she has her headphones on and Is on Facebook / Twitter. My youngest son and daughter both have keys and let themselves in till my eldest gets home 20 minutes later.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:48 pm
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My lad started walking and sometimes cycling home when he was 10, cycle path all except the last 200 yards. He's 11 now and one or two days a week in the holidays we'll give him a lazy day where he gets up after we've gone to work and either amuses himself or goes to see one of his more local friends. BIG emphasis on letting us know where he's going.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:48 pm
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I seem to remember that me and my sister were 11 and 12 when we were first left alone at home.
that was 20 years ago though and the world is a much worser paedo-infested hell pit these days isn't it?


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:51 pm
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I used to ride to and from school on my bike at the age of 10 going on 11 in... South Africa, of all places! I'm surprised I didn't get shot/ maimed/ abducted/ mauled...


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:55 pm
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My parents let me get the tube into central London to meet them after work once when I was in year 6 of primary school I think it was, so 10 or 11.

High School (11+) I was getting public transport to school all the time.

Based on the above, I'm assuming I was left at home a fair bit younger than that. I was definitely allowed out to play unsupervised around the neighbourhood (North London) when I was in primary school.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 9:57 pm
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10 + 7, they walk together a mile to school.

We will happily leave them home together for an hour or so during the day. They are good together.

From the age of 7 I got a bus into Leeds, then walked a bit through the town centre, before a second bus to school on my own. From the age of 10 I cycled there instead of the bus. 8 miles each way iirc. Kids today eh?


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:02 pm
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my god what if their face falls off?


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:05 pm
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I used to get the train home, walk two miles home from the station, light the fire and start to put tea on when I was 11. Folks then home about three hours later. But then we would also be left in the car with a bag of crisps and a can of coke when my folks would go for a drink in the pub. Times have changed but then so have perceptions of what is right and wrong.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:11 pm
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I was walking to school on my own from about 7 or 8. By 10 I was off out on the bike cycling round the local estates for hours on end.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:22 pm
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when i were a lad............


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:25 pm
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Not got kids but i was left on my own from about 7. Was given instructions about not opening the door to anyone. I spent my time building huge lego constructions then I'd hide behind the sofa when my mum got home so she'd think I'd been abducted.


 
Posted : 19/02/2013 10:27 pm
 hora
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When I was 6 I used to disapear out on my bike. I rode from Hudds to Brighouse and back knocking on two doors for a glass of water.

Makes you shudder when you think what your parents allowed in the 70/early 80's compared to now.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:04 am
 Pook
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Posted : 20/02/2013 7:17 am
 Pook
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3 more years and zach will be doing that....

edit: and what's with this 70s rubbish? We all know you mean the 60s


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:18 am
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From the time I started junior school I was walking home alone all of 300 yards but then I was locked out alone till my mum got home from work about an hour later this "care"broke down when the school shut due to snow and I ended up spending the day in the garden shed. Once I had learned how to brake into our house they gave me a key and changed their security .


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:28 am
 IanW
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Theres a 17 and 9 in my house, I dont like to leave the 17 home alone for too long.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:43 am
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I was 9/10 when I started going/was sent the 3 miles to the shop if the mother needed bits and bobs, for a fee enough to buy sweets/pop with 🙂

Depends on the kid IMO


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 8:02 am
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Makes you shudder when you think what your parents allowed in the 70/early 80's compared to now.

I know. It's a lot safer now, how did ANY of us manage to grow up? 🙂

Things seem to have changed though as my sister in law's kids can't manage more than 10 mins (one is turning 13) and she wont even send her to the shop round the corner etc.

Seriously? Wow. When I started secondary school, it was an 11 mile bus journey on a normal service bus, although there was quite a few of us, which I had to catch just after 8am, getting up at about 7.30 IIRC. When it snowed in the winter I looked after my younger brother and sister all day until mum came home, if we couldn't get to school.
I don't remember it being any sort of problem to anyone.
At the same sort of age (11-12) I took up fishing and used to get up as 3.30am every saturday, walk 2 miles with all my kit to the lake in the dark and be out until about 5pm. It was what we did, I was never a fan of TV.
In junior school I had a friend who's family were farmers and we used to spend days on end playing on the farm and helping out, driving tractors etc.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 8:47 am
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double post


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 8:47 am
 hora
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I know I keep going on about it but at the Strider/balance bike sessions at the BMX track you see the same few faces but when alot of children fall over the bars onto their face...you never see a few of those parents again. Also- halfway through the session -we switch over to the harder/steeper undulating track....theres always a few parents who never come over...

I imagine those kids will always be wrapped up in cotton wool.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 8:52 am
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It's not the age, but how capable, responsible and mature the child is IMO.

My 6 year old is much more responsible than a friend's 9 year old I know.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:01 am
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As already said the age is irrelevant but the little rockets were both 12 when they were given a front door key. The only condition was that they had to be instantly contactable by phone - no excuses.

Most of their mates also had a key around the same time and the stories they used to come back with about their friend's ineptitude and carelessness were quite startling.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:12 am
 nuke
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Our son was about 10 when we started leaving him home alone whilst we drop off at rail station or pop to bakery...normally about 20 mins tops. The younger sister (7) still comes with us.

At the same age, we also started sending him to local corner shop for milk etc...5 minute walk, well at our pace, his pace is a fair bit slower


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:28 am
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Left my 1 yo lad alone for half an hour in the flat when I locked myself out once 🙁

tbh I think I'd be OK leaving the bairns alone to shoot over to the shops now, for 5 mins say, and they're 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. If they were happy playing say.

I suppose the small risk is that something happens to you when you're out and the anticipated 5 mins turns into half an hour or something.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:48 am
 hora
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Mork & Mindy kept me safe 8)


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:51 am
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anyway just remember it was all much safer back in the 70/80's with all those TV presenters looking after everybody....


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 9:51 am
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Makes you shudder when you think what your parents allowed in the 70/early 80's compared to now.

Makes me shudder when I think how over-protective we are now!

We leave our 8yr old alone when doing 20min trips picking her sister up from ballet or whatever, she's pretty sensible but I wouldn't want to leave her for much longer than that. When said sister (12) is with her we're happy going out for a meal to a local restaurant. The 12yr old has been left alone at home all morning at times, too.

Both of them get sent to the local shop for bread/paper if needed.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:01 am
 hora
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anyway just remember it was all much safer back in the 70/80's with all those TV presenters looking after everybody....

We had TV Government ads warning about talking to strangers, we had constant lectures about men offering sweets, want to see some puppies? etc didn't we.

There have always been paedo's out there. All you have to do is spot if your kid is a bit 'unworldly' then not let them out.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:05 am
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For some reason my parents thought it was OK for me to walk the mile and a half to school ,including crossing a main road, at 10 but felt the need to give me a baby sitter until I was 14 - worst one was having a 14 year old baby sitter when I was 12.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:11 am
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hora - Member
When I was 6 I used to disapear out on my bike. I rode from Hudds to Brighouse and back knocking on two doors for a glass of water.

Makes you shudder when you think what your parents allowed in the 70/early 80's compared to now.

POSTED 3 HOURS AGO #

Sounds familiar, thirst was always a problem when out wandering, drank from a cows trough once, my biggest worry now for my kids are the nutters on the roads.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:31 am
 hora
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I've been run over twice. A Triumph Dolomite and an Allegro.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:39 am
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I've been run over twice. A Triumph Dolomite and an Allegro.

both cars escaped unharmed.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:49 am
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I bet the Allegro came off worse ( no offence intended)


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:50 am
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A couple of weeks ago we left our (just) 8 year old son for 10 minutes when I had to take Mrscarlos to work , he was full of cold and feeling really crap.He's a sensible lad anyway and has inherited brains from somewhere that neither of us can work out.

From the age of about 7 I walked the 1/2 mile to school and back everyday but only had 1 minor road to cross at the end of the cul-de-sac we lived in.Leaving my sister and I alone when I was about 9 and she was 7 did backfire on my parents once ,an ashtray had been emptied into the kitchen bin the previous night and caught fire when they went shopping the next day.I called the fire brigade and they got home to my sister and me playing in the fire engine while the fireman were putting the fire out.

mudshark - Member
worst one was having a 14 year old baby sitter when I was 12.

(hand up smilie) me too, even worse depending on your moral stance the same girl was babysitting me when she was 15 and used to bring her mates round and a bottle of cider or 2. Her friends were errm, VERY friendly after a few ciders................ 😉


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 10:53 am
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It's not about the age, its about the kid.

This. And it's how the law works too.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 1:58 pm
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Makes me shudder when I think how over-protective we are now!

+1

The risk of something happening is minuscule compared with the perceived risk.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 2:09 pm
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Three kids 18,15,9 yr old, wouldnt dream of leaving 9 yr old at home alone and also there is no way he would want leaving, would love to know where everyone is going that they cant say stick your coat on we are nipping out for 20 mins!!! as for Garry Lager got to be a troll!!!


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 2:27 pm
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wouldnt dream of leaving 9 yr old at home alone and also there is no way he would want leaving, would love to know where everyone is going that they cant say stick your coat on we are nipping out for 20 mins!!!

Yeah, could do that with my 8 year old. But why should I? If it's raining, and she's doing her homework... why make her come along? She's pretty sensible, the worst that's going to happen is she'll steal all the biscuits...

As others have said: it depends on the kid.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 2:36 pm
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......Choke on the biscuit with you not there to help her , you get run over, have heart attack in the st, can`t tell anyone that there is an 8 yr old left home alone ......the list is endless, thankfully 99 % of the time nothing will happen but that 1% of the time... fine if you could live with yourself, just think its easier and safer to take them with you. only my opinion!!


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 4:28 pm
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......Choke on the biscuit with you not there to help her

But look what happened to George Bush - he almost died choking on a pretzel. If you're going to go down that route, you'd never let your child out of your sight until you die.

Ours is almost 3 - she gets left in the car when paying for petrol, left in the house while taking the recycling out, left playing quietly in her room for an hour.

She is a very self-composed and sensible child, though - never showed any inclination to put finders in wall sockets, drink bleach, stuff like that.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 4:42 pm
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......Choke on the biscuit with you not there to help her , you get run over, have heart attack in the st, can`t tell anyone that there is an 8 yr old left home alone ......the list is endless, thankfully 99 % of the time nothing will happen but that 1% of the time... fine if you could live with yourself, just think its easier and safer to take them with you. only my opinion!!

Well, yeah, but all that could happen to my 12 year old, too. Perhaps I shouldn't leave her on her own, either? At some point you have to let them grow up, perhaps your kid isn't ready yet. But trying to protect them from every eventuality is futile, and in the long run impossible.

Both girls know my phone number, their mother's number, and are quite capable of opening the door and calling on a neighbour if the worst really did happen.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 5:04 pm
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So I've just mentioned to the mrs I could go with her on a couple of runs whilst she's "training" for her 10k, it was met with a resolute NO! The only way we can do it is if the kids ride with us on their bikes!


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:33 pm
 Esme
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At 11, I looked after my younger siblings (aged 8, 6 and 2) for a week, while my mum was in hospital. No-one thought twice about it . . . 🙄


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 7:43 pm
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When I was 11 back in the 80's I had my own key to the house and often would be home alone after school for a few hours before my parents came home from work. Nobody thought twice about it (others in my street did exactly the same). Seems nowadays that it has gone completely overboard with the protecting children. My oldest son is 11 now and I have no qualms about leaving him alone in the house for an hour or two. He's got a pretty sensible head on his shoulders.

I have an acquaintance here who is a single mother and a home nurse who often left her daughter alone from the age of 6 while she did night work. I am not condoning her actions but the daughter is still here and is a very intelligent and self sufficient 15 year old now.


 
Posted : 20/02/2013 8:10 pm

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