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Jetwash, they jetwash everything, and constantly. Every time you go out to have a cup of tea on the patio, the matriarch over the fence is jetwashing their patio, motorbike, house (it must be damp/causing issues with the pointing surely), BBQ's, kids toy's.
Dogs, they had one awful bored Dashound that barks at everyone and everything constantly, I've seen them walk it twice in 5 years. Their solution to being the awful owners of one dog? Get a french Bulldog to keep it company.
They're either 3 with an age gap or 4 generations of a Brazillian family. They have no "inside voice", every bit of communication is 115db Portugese from one end of the house to the garden.
The neighbors on the other side are great, about the only thing you could say about them is their lawn needs sorting out 🤣
first time I spoke to him to inform him I’d shoot his Doberman if it came near my kids again.
(I fully support your stance)
Out of interest, am I right in assuming such a thing is completely illegal, whereas making the same statement Viz sheep is totally ok?
Weird country.
Out of interest, am I right in assuming such a thing is completely illegal, whereas making the same statement Viz sheep is totally ok?
No idea. Not sure sheep would pose such a risk to kids though. And I don’t own a gun anyway, but it doesn’t hurt to keep him guessing.
We live in a street of 2 bed Victorian terraces. One of the neighbouring houses is cut up into flats, generally don't hear much from the flats, just get the constant fumigation of the Devil's leaf if we leave the windows open.
The other side is a couple, similar age to us ~30s. They rescued a dog during lockdown which screams bloody murder as soon as they go out, and doesn't stop until they get home. The bloke shout-talks to his colleagues via Teams, or whatever. Seemingly is a bit of a non-job, as he usually then spends the rest of the day screaming at the TV, the dog, his partner or generally just being loud and obnoxious. His partner seems OK, but she couldn't parallel park to save her life, manages to fit a small car into a space for 4 vehicles, parked in a manner that would require a taxi to the curb. About three times a week they entertain they're equally obnoxious and loud friends until the early hours of the morning, screeching and screaming.
Maybe I'm the weirdo as don't particularly want to interact with any of my neighbours. At least it's given us a reason to start saving cash move!
My neighbours are in a cult.
They're deeply religious. The husband popped up on my "People You May Know" on Facebook and I had a look at his profile. Nearly every post is some bible quote and he talks about attending a church. Not the usual CoE type thing, it's a "brand" of church. A quick google suggests it's basically a cult with some very serious accusations against the founder and his teachings and some very troubling attitudes towards women.
The thing that backs this up, is the fact the wife does absolutely everything. To the point where it's borderline slavery. The husband appears to not lift a finger to do anything. The shopping, cutting the grass, taking things to the dump, filling up windscreen washer fluid, washing the car, hoovering the car, decorating, building furniture. Absolutely everything is done by the wife while the gormless husband looks on. Came out last week and the wife was down on her hands and knees on the driveway taking the stabilisers off their kids bike with a spanner while the husband stood over her watching. I'm not saying there should be pink and blue jobs but the wife does every single job to the point that it's blatantly obvious the husband does zero.
She's super friendly and chats away to me, he's basically a deaf mute. Has barely uttered a word to me in 2 years.
When i lived in Manchester City Centre i had a guy below who used to bounce a basket ball off the walls for hours on end. When asked about he claimed he didn't realise the sound travelled!
On a more pleasant note, when i lived in London the girl below played the cello in the Philharmonic so used to hear her practicing - i felt very civilised!
No really weird neighbour stories i'm afraid, but there's time yet!!
I lived in a terraced street once and had a neighbour who'd go out and sit in his clapped out car, start the engine and smoke a cigar. Once, his car was right outside my open window so the stinking fumes of a cold, rich engine were wafting the 1.5m straight into my house. When I went out and tapped on his window and told him it wasn't very nice he was livid! What was it to do with me? Public street...paid my road tax! etc...
We've recently moved into a new build. 4 houses in our little street cum cul-de-sac.
Next door but one are the odd ones. They moved in afer us, but never seem to be in. Blinds and curtains are always closed, their car seems to appear outside at about 10pm and leaves by about 9am every night. No other visitors.
Trying to work out what the score is with that one.
Other than that we're the annoying neighbours with the barking dog. We are working on it I promise.
Not my current house, but I used to have a neighbour who taped newspaper to every window in his house so it was 100% blocked from view. He also had a Robin Reliant that had every available bit of space filled with newspapers – newspapers absolutely everywhere apart from a small gap for him. There were rumours that he was a convicted paedophile but, looking back, I reckon he was probably just a very lonely man with compulsive hoarding issues and tongues just wagged. I have occasionally thought about him over the years – had I been a bit more mature at the time (I was in my 20s when I lived there) I might have tried to reach out to him.
Neighbour screaming "tree murderers!" at the tree surgeons taking down the rotten walnut tree in our garden. And a few months later when her cat got run over and lost a leg, she claimed to the police, local paper and RSPCA that my wife had done it with the garden gate.
Thankfully they inherited some money and sold up. The people who bought the house had to more or less gut it, it was filthy. Maybe something to do with all her other cats.
Quiet street on the section I live on but the lass who lives opposite, me and the other neighbours think is an escort or a dealer or one of those only fans models, hazarding a guess she's probably between 18-24, at first we thought an older bloke had bought it as he was there most days doing a ton of work filling skips on the driveway, now we see him picking up and dropping a 3 or 4 year old kid off so assume it's her grandad, the kid is rarely there though.
Few occasions we've seen her run out the house not wearing a lot and palming something in her hand to people through a car window before they drive and she runs back in the house.
There's often random cars parked on her driveway over night and sometimes we will see younger lads leave the house in the morning and get into a taxi.
She always has her blinds closed all day all night too, did see her out in the village before dressed to the nines with an older gentleman (not who we think her grandad is) and when she clocked us she tried to hide behind him, all a bit odd.
We're end-of-terrace so no worries one way but next door are two elderly ladies being looked after by a relly in his 30s. I have never seen the ladies in two years and the never opened curtains make it look like it should be condemned. However their stairs are against our party wall (sic) and they 've never complained about my music although I do knock it off fairly early. Neighbours the other way are fantastic, do anything for you, we reciprocate by sharing our green bins and making parking available if needed. Had a street party on Sunday, all generations, and it went on for 5 hours, pissed and knackered. Very good though. So like most, mixed but generally very good.
First place I lived at (end terrace house), the house diagonally opposite was a drug den. Fairly quiet to be fair but it had folk calling at all hours of the day and night, there was always a light on somewhere. Seemed to be mostly students. Occasionally there'd be a bit more noise as a visitor tried to wake the occupants by throwing pebbles against the window - I guess the dealers must have passed out for a bit. 😂
After 2-3 years of this, the place got ram-raided by the police about 4am one day. Full on raid - absolute silence then the whole street was woken by the crash of the door going in and a lot of shouting then a load of police cars which had obviously been parked up quietly around the corner all came screaming into the street.
Oh and the man directly opposite mine set fire to his bedroom once. Thick black smoke pouring out of the window. He survived.
The same old house that I no longer live in - the very attractive girl that lived directly opposite occasionally read the Yellow Pages in her bedroom with the curtains open.
The weird thing is that I sold the house and moved on!
And another from me. Former tenant next door was once referred to by the local newspaper as the most prolific house breaker in my town. Fortunately he had just enough sense not to poop on his own doorstep. But, coming to the end of a spell in prison, he decided to do a bunk whilst out on a day ticket from a low security unit. Cue the police waking me up in the small hours every day for about 2 weeks knocking next door to see if he had returned. Sometimes up to 6 coppers at the front, and they never did place anyone to cover the back gate!
Out of interest, am I right in assuming such a thing is completely illegal, whereas making the same statement Viz sheep is totally ok?
Shooting a dog to protect a child from attack would not be illegal, if it was reasonable force - ie. there was no realistic alternative. It is what police firearms officers do if they are called to a dog attack.
I've bought a new gigantic broom since this event. Its not migrated from the doorstep just yet.
https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/your-snow-shovel-offends-my-eyes/
Blinds and curtains are always closed
We have one of those in our street. Every single blind is always closed in the house. Never once seen any of them open at any time of day or year. Family with a couple of kids and a dog. Utterly bizarre.
I used to live around the corner (but thankfully not within earshot) of this outsider art 'venue' house run by "Nigel Noize".
http://the-67.com/
Kind of cool!
First place I lived in Australia we had a meth dealer next door. Took us a while to work out. He was very affable. Someone must have tipped off the cops but gave our address, so we got raided as I was heading to football training one evening.
They came back one week later to the hour, with guns and dogs. He had so many locks on the door he had time to get rid of everything in the house before they got in.
The people over the road were much worse. They’d go on benders and have massive fights at 3am. I thought one of them was going to get killed eventually. Seven cop cars was the most that turned up.
“Nigel Noize”.
http://the-67.com/Kind of cool!
What the hell is that website, I thought geocities was shut down about 20 years ago.
Our next door neighbour refuses to use his recycling bin. Instead what he does is sneaks out with full black bags and puts them in other peoples bins if they've left them out. Did it to me once just after they'd been emptied, took it out and put it next to his back door. Not happened since.
My blinds are generally closed as my living room window is litteraly on the pavement so it's more a privacy thing.
They are opaque though so let plenty of light in whilst stopping passers by having a good old rubber neck.
They are opaque though so let plenty of light in
That word does not mean what you think it does!
very attractive girl that lived directly opposite occasionally read the Yellow Pages in her bedroom with the curtains open
Thank you for introducing me to a new euphemism!
The row of neighbours facing us are all 'older' housing association so unfortunately have a regular turn over of ambulances and new faces..
We made a friend move into the semi-detach house next door... I suggested it (half joking), another friend booked the viewing for her, and then we convince the old neighbours (lovely couple who moved into one of the housing association places opposite) that her mortgage holdup was just a silly mistake and not to pull-out of the sale.. Been there about 8 years now, and are ace (we might have turned into one big Covid household for a while).
Old neighbours the other side were a young couple, she cheated on him, while he was at work, and all the oldies opposite knew and wanted gossip... We tried to be sociable (pre-affair), but not over bearing, but 'she' almost hid from us, every time we walked down the drive (really no idea why). He found another nicer lady and moved on. Couple in there now came from a rough estate, and have taken some time to come to terms with the street being full of (mainly) nice ppl, who aren't out to abuse him and his (impaired) son. After being very quiet he's now chatting to everyone.
To be fair we’re probably the weird neighbours with the untidy garden etc….
However I pity the burglar that breaks in on my street. Once in a neighbourhood watch meeting (mostly pensioners) the conversation got around to what would you do is someone broke in while you were home? The answers went sort of like the scene in pulp fiction when Butch leaves the dungeon.
“I have a baseball bat for intruders”.
“We have a pickaxe handle at the top of the stairs”.
“there’s a machete in our house”.
“Well, we have a sword”.
Etc. Etc.
The poor PCSO that was in attendance didn’t know where to look as she studiously pretended, she couldn’t hear any of the discussion!
All my immediate neighbours seem pretty normal and my only general annoyance is the amount of yappy dogs in the neighbourhood. As well as banning the Bully XL they should ban any dog breed that yaps instead of woofs. It should also be illegal to shout more than once at your yappy dog to tell it to be quiet, how do people not realise them constantly yelling at a yapping dog is even more irritating than just the dog yapping. ...and relax...
Ohh, how could I forget this one! My current neighbour likes to sunbathe naked. Obviously, when she is working in the garden she has more modesty – she usually puts on a thong when she mows the lawn. When my girls were younger, they used to move the trampoline closer to the dividing fence so they could jump up to see and shout 'I can see boobies'! The neighbour (who is lovely) found it very amusing. She has absolutely no inhibitions about it - she'll happily talk over the fence to me when naked.
Unfortunately, she is quite a fair few years older than the beautiful girl who lived opposite me in my old house so it's not in any way sensual 🙂
One of our neighbours moved from Scotland to Stowmarket in Suffolk, quite possibly the most bland town in the world, it makes beige look colourful.
One of our neighbours moved from Scotland to Stowmarket in Suffolk, quite possibly the most bland town in the world, it makes beige look colourful.
One of the few who make it out of Renfrew probably.
they had one awful bored Dashound that barks at everyone and everything constantly
I take your one bored Dachshund hat barks at everyone and everything constantly and raise you SEVEN bored Dachshund's that bark at everyone and everything constantly. The chorus of barking is quickly followed by the neighbour shouting their names at the top of her voice, which just results in them barking even more.
It should also be illegal to shout more than once at your yappy dog to tell it to be quiet, how do people not realise them constantly yelling at a yapping dog is even more irritating than just the dog yapping. …and relax…
Wise words.
I'm gonna 'fess up to being the weirdo who goes kayaking in the local river. This sounds fairly innocuous but the quickest way there is to take my boat on a trolley via the main street into town. So, all the locals get to see me slip-slapping along in a wetsuit some mornings!
^^
Like the Man from Atlantis 🤣
@finephilly That's just to cover that you enjoy dressing in rubber and going out in public! 🤣
@tagnut69 We have others!
That word does not mean what you think it does!
Translucent. I think that's what I meant.
I'm sticking with translucent!
I only popped in here to see if my cycling neighbour mentioned us! 😀
I guess that means they are the weirdos!
Our other neighbour are always bodging repairs to their house. Gaffer taping the chimney pot back up was a favourite of mine. You can imagine how long that stayed up!
No one live near Mr Miller at 666 the local vicar who is also a serial killer
I was the weirdo who skied everywhere around Wednesfield and later Bruntsfield (not so weird there it seems) whenever there was snow.
Old place - out in the country, could never workout why late at night the conservatory in our former smiddy/cart house was always brightly lit in colour. Ex superstar DJ (here we go) apparently!
And +1 for being fed up with Yappy! Put in a 9 year stretch
My winter night riding often gets comments from the neighbours. They think I'm mad, they're probably right.
Think I'm the weird neighbour who makes ham fisted attempts to ride a funny little bike over small stacks pallets in the back garden. Danny Macaskill I aint.
No one live near Mr Miller at 666 the local vicar who is also a serial killer
At 999 they make a living from crime, but the house is always empty because they’re all doing time.
A criminally underrated song / album.
Guy over the back gets pissed and listens to music in the garden. No that's not weird, what's weird is that it's Through The Echoes by Paolo Nutini every second or third song. "ALEXA, PLAY PAOLO NUTINI!". Sometimes he sings along, but he doesn't know the words despite having played it 20 times in an afternoon.
He likes Foster and Allen's version of Nobody's Child as well but that only comes on maybe twice an hour.
the lass who lives opposite, me and the other neighbours think is an escort or a dealer or one of those only fans models
This Thread Is Useless Without Pictures.
the very attractive girl that lived directly opposite occasionally read the Yellow Pages in her bedroom with the curtains open.
Years ago, there was a lass across the way from me who would close the curtains to get undressed of an evening. Then having done so, fling them open again stark bollock naked. Imagine my horror as a teenager.
My current neighbour likes to sunbathe naked.
This thread is etc etc.
Used to have an old Jewish sax player lived above me(Tenement) and he was a difficult neighbour and talked about me to the other neighbours, and the neighbours to me. Sax practise every weekend with a thump thump thump keeping time on floor above my living room.
One incident caused much mayhem and i think he blamed me, ok it was my fault. I was spraying GT85 on the bike just outside my door and i heard the commotion. Seems gt85 on smooth concrete is a bit slippery, and WOOSH down the stairs he went arse over tit. I do feel bad, he was in his 70's.
I lived in a run down terraced house in Homerton as a student in the late 90s.* There weren’t any other students around so we were definitely the weird neighbours.
We never saw any of the neighbours, but their way of telling us off if we’d kept them up late was to put the same god awful R&B song on repeat at a very high volume before they left for work in the morning. Many hangovers were exacerbated by that song.
*there was a room called The Grim Room and blood(?) crucifixes daubed on the back of each door by the previous owner. Then they built the Olympic stadium up the road so i expect it’s nicer now.
very attractive girl that lived directly opposite occasionally read the Yellow Pages in her bedroom with the curtains open
Thank you for introducing me to a new euphemism!
Is that one euphemism or two?
very attractive girl that lived directly opposite occasionally read the Yellow Pages in her bedroom with the curtains open
Thank you for introducing me to a new euphemism!
Is that one euphemism or two?
Double Word Score!
Used to have an old Jewish sax player lived above me(Tenement) and he was a difficult neighbour and talked about me to the other neighbours, and the neighbours to me. Sax practise every weekend with a thump thump thump keeping time on floor above my living room.
One incident caused much mayhem and i think he blamed me, ok it was my fault. I was spraying GT85 on the bike just outside my door and i heard the commotion. Seems gt85 on smooth concrete is a bit slippery, and WOOSH down the stairs he went arse over tit. I do feel bad, he was in his 70’s.
That's the problem these days. Too much sax and violence.
Bet they don't show it on channel 4...
Shocking.
I used to live next to an oddball bloke in Highbury who had little success with women but always managed to find smart blonde women to rent rooms in his house. My study was opposite their bathroom and the cheapskate installed cane roller blinds which, when the light's on, are completely see-through.
The weirdest thing my current set of neighbours have done is to die en masse. Next doors both sides and four across the road in a short spell.
witches!
Guy over the back gets pissed and listens to music in the garden
Young lad (training to be a primary school teacher) next door used to sit on the back step and smoke a joint at about 5pm ad listen to the shittiest MOR mum-rock and R&B through his shitty phone speakers. He loved his Maria, Witney and Celine. would sing along in a terrible falsetto.
Trying to work out if I’ve won the lottery of life or massively missing out in my friendly / normal / sociable street. Keep em coming.
That’s the problem these days. Too much sax and violence.
👏👏🎩
Chuckling at all the pervy voyeurs on here talking about their weird neighbours!
Not weird but hilarious, our new neighbours next door have two little girls age four and six, who attack their dad mercilessly, most nights we just hear him screaming OW STOP OW OW! as he's set about by them, I imagine a scenario like a cross between Gremlins and the Pink Panther where they dive on him from the top wardrobes, the fridge, the back of the couch etc, they're both totally bonkers, we call them Mad and Madder/ The Crazy Ladies amongst other things, they come round here and cause total mayhem, they're totally brilliant.
smiffy - is there something you're not telling us?
I like my neighbours* - we drilled a hole through the wall shoved some Cat5 through and have free of charge mega fast broadband.
*School friends who own a graphics/design studio next door.
It might just be us, but Mrs Scape and I have come to the conclusion that we're the only "normal folk" on our little cul-de-sac/enclave. Next door one way is delightfully bonkers in a very wonderful if not chaotic way. Plays sax in a pro group and can often be heard practising.... so I've learnt the bass lines to several of her songs and crank up the amp so we can jam over the hedge (hereinafter referred to as Lola's bush....) He husband is an ex-army type who coaches a women's rugby team and they have regular parties there where we all get invited. That has led to several surreal scenarios involving far too much prosecco, several loved-up and slightly fighty same sex couples, outdoor pizza ovens and a filth pond.
Next door the other way are perhaps the oddest couple I've ever known. She's become more or less a recluse since lockdown as she is immunocompromised, but he is perhaps the most humourless, thoughtless cock on the planet. We "take it in turns" to fetch each others bins down. I now keep a diary and he's managed it seven times since the start of the pandemic. The shared driveway is really steep, and when it snows we all turn out with snowshovels, except him. He hasn't helped once in 17 years. Tosser.
We “take it in turns” to fetch each others bins down. I now keep a diary
Yes, your neighbours are definitely the weird ones.
We haven't had any within 400m for the last 22yrs. Downsizing now and dreading it. I will take some getting used to; loud music, big fires, peeing where the fancy takes me, naked sunbathing, wandering about at night with a tinny trying to wind the owls up. Poor sods have got some grief coming.
One of the elderly neighbours over the road jokingly told me off for putting next doors bins on their drive, after the bin men had been and I got home early.
Apparently he likes to do it.
Nice chap.
<p style="text-align: left;">The shared driveway is really steep, and when it snows we all turn out with snowshovels, except him. He hasn’t helped once in 17 years. Tosser.</p>
That reminds me of one of our neighbours. We had a massive storm come through, trees down all over including our house. One house all came up to help tarp our place before the next downpour. We all got together with chainsaws and cleared the driveways of multiple downed mature trees. The other neighbours contribution was to come out at the end with a leaf blower because “I can’t stand the mess.” WTAF?
smiffy – is there something you’re not telling us?
if he told you he’d have to kill you
I am the weird neighbour.
Her on the next road over absolutely screams at her kids. It's horrible in the summer as she leaves the door open. But she's at it now. Door shut. Can hear her clearly. Yelling at her kids to get ready.
They go to the same school as mine.
It's 11 mins walk.
My lot are still asleep and will be for another half hour or so.
So I'm not sure what the urgency is.
Or the need for consistent volume and choice of language.
Anyway, my parenting style is perfect.
We “take it in turns” to fetch each others bins down. I now keep a diary
Yes, your neighbours are definitely the weird ones.
I have a bit of a wrangle with Mrs Scape. She thinks he brings the bins down once every four weeks or so. I reckon it's about once every three or four months-hence the "diary" . I now know he hasn't brought them down since mid-May so am currently occupying moral high ground. I reckon it's his turn this week, but they've been up there since Tuesday and I'm waiting to see who blinks first. Mrs Scape keeps spoiling it by bringing them down herself.
Yelling at her kids to get ready.
They go to the same school as mine.
It’s 11 mins walk.
My lot are still asleep and will be for another half hour or so.
So I’m not sure what the urgency is.
Pre-school club and she has to go straight to work?
The yelling bit is not nice though - although I have to admit I did lose my temper a couple of times when my two were younger 🙁
I have a bit of a wrangle with Mrs Scape
You're wrong.
Hth, it will, and you'll thank me.
We all got together with chainsaws and cleared the driveways of multiple downed mature trees.
We have this whenever a tree comes down. Got one massively overweight, bandy legged 80+ year old and another guy in his late 60's who appears to be made of rage, sinew and finnish beer.
They turn up with two commercially massive chainsaws and turn any tree which dares to compromise the roadway into neat 30cm chunks in about 20 minutes. All gone before lunchtime and stacked neatly in a woodshed somewhere.
My neighbours introduced themselves as Kitty and Matt. My wife didn't get why I let out a guffaw.
My wife didn’t get why I let out a guffaw.
I'll be honest, I'm with your wife on this one.
You sound a bit stiff 🤷♂️
Me too!
You sound a bit stiff 🤷♂️
Are kitty and matt good names for corpses?
Gunsmoke?
The weirdest thing my current set of neighbours have done is to die en masse. Next doors both sides and four across the road in a short spell.
Be afraid, be very afraid