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Getting married latter in the year and a few guests are asking about gifts. We hadn't thought about gifts at all and really just want people there to have a good time.
A few people have mentioned contributing to a honeymoon etc. Is this a common thing to do? Any ideas on how to set it up? I don't want to ask for anything, but would like something organised in place if people really do want to gift something.
You could just say no gifts but please donate to charity x or a good cause of your choice.
Seems to be a common thing to put on wedding invites these days.
We just told people that we already had everything and didn't need any gifts and all we wanted was for them to turn up and have a great time. There were still a few people who insisted on giving us a bottle of something, or little gifts.
I'd say, especially as things are crunched a bit at the moment, just tell people that you don't need gifts (unless you really need some new crockery or whatever) and to make better use of their money whatever way they see fit. Those who can spare a few bob will still give you something if they want.
It's a tough one. We got married a bit older than usual so didn't need anything. Initially said no gifts but people were very keen to give something. Rather than get a load of stuff we didn't need or want we did eventually put a small list together and accept money for the honeymoon. Made it very clear it was optional and only really wanted their company on the day. People were still very generous. You can just give bank details or take cash, no need to set anything up.
At what stage in life are you (previous relationships, been living together forever, have a full house of 'stuff' already, or 19 years old with not a bean or a toaster to your name)?
How much is attending your wedding costing your guests(local to most people or is it going to be a journey across the country/ to another country and a hotel stay for some)? How 'excessive' were your stag/hen dos?
Answers to the above would be key if it were me (or rather it was when we used the line below). When you remember that 'back in the day' most people getting married were young, living with their parents and had chuff all to their names and needed a hand getting their first home set up. And guests were mostly travelling a few streets. Then you get to remember what wedding gifts were for and how they were justified. The more your personal circumstances have varied from that, the more it's about greed.
"The only gift we want is the gift of your company" should suffice for most in modern times....
Theres nothing we need and living together. Most guests are local ish. Some travelling from abroad.
Rather than get a load of stuff we didn’t need or want we did eventually put a small list together and accept money for the honeymoon.
We did this - some people wanted to give a gift so we put two things on - a nice Höganäs Keramik crockery set (so people could buy individual items at reasonable cost based on their budget) and a really nice luxury duvet/pillow set. All the other guests gave money towards the honeymoon.
That was back in 2006 and we still use the crockery and duvet set daily but the best memory remains the amazing honeymoon on safari in Kenya that we could't have afforded ourselves.
you can setup an online list for the honeymoon. Like buy is a drink or a bite to eat. An experience or something.. thats what we did.
We insisted to people that they didn't need to buy us anything, but after a few people asked we said that if they really wanted to, a small donation to the honeymoon would be lovely.
Some were very generous, others didn't contribute and both were fine by us.
you can setup an online list for the honeymoon. Like buy is a drink or a bite to eat. An experience or something.. thats what we did.
How did you do that? And can you choose where you spend it or are you restricted like gift cards etc?
How did you do that? And can you choose where you spend it or are you restricted like gift cards etc?
The website I used 12 years ago seemed to be defunct. But how it worked with that was you listed things you would like contributions to, and you were notified what 'items' people had 'bought', but it just linked to my paypal address somehow so the contributions just routed straight to my paypal account for me to withdraw.
The website I used 12 years ago seemed to be defunct. But how it worked with that was you listed things you would like contributions to, and you were notified what ‘items’ people had ‘bought’, but it just linked to my paypal address somehow so the contributions just routed straight to my paypal account for me to withdraw.
Was that BuyaGift?
Was that BuyaGift?
Nah, seemed to have been something call "Send Us Packing".
cash for the honeymoon is a nice idea. Weddings can be clenchingly expensive so having a bunch of cash you HAVE to spend on the honeymoon is a fine way to go
But surely you need the 12 setting Royal Doulton dinner service that you will literally use twice in 20 years, like us? 😂
We had a ‘list’ at John Lewis as my wife’s mother insisted, we basically went round scanning random stuff and hoped no one would buy it seemed to work apart from the Doulton as we mainly got given cash.
Best wedding present we actually got was an ounce of homegrown weed from one of my mates.
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest some of this is "generational" and some people are just going to want to give you a physical wedding present. So just except that's the case and have a small list somewhere. We did this and then also had a charity of our choice (which resonated with guests as well) that raised quite a bit for those that still wanted to contribute but didn't want to buy "stuff".