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After losing her husband 2.5yrs ago after a long period of battling cancer, the mother in law has decided that she'd like to start building her own life again rather than just feel like she's tagging on to her brothers and her own childrens.
Does anyone have any recommendations of places she may meet people to go on holidays with, general companionship etc. Wife even said she's not averse to meeting someone new after a heart to heart the other day.
Obviously she'll be made well aware of the potential perils of meeting people online but I'd rather direct her at websites/places people have recommended rather than just ones I've googled.
Must it be online?
My mum and dad moved to a new area when my dad retired, and my mum made a point of joining the local Probus(? I think) group, which is kind of WI-esque and volunteered at a local charity shop purely with the aim of meeting people. Dad joined the Ramblers. They quite quickly built up quite a wide group of friends.
What about SAGA?
Doesn't have to be online. She's tried a couple of local support groups but not really got on with them and has joined a local choir that she really enjoys. Above that she's struggling, so we're just trying to think of some other ideas.
I think the key is to take a deep breath and dive into stuff. The other half's mum retired a few years ago and she signed up for a German class (other daughter lives in Germany), yoga class, goes to a card-making group, joined a Rambler's group...
Try lots of stuff out, some she'll like, some she won't, some people she'll like, some she won't, but it's the only way to get the ball rolling.
Has she other interests than the choir/singing?
Try http://www.u3a.org.uk/ University of 3rd age - great way to meet intelligent people
Get her signed up to this [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/ ]website[/url], I reckon it's ideal for her!
My mum and dad are in something called U3A, I think it stands for "old farts doing stuff". A lot of the stuff seems to be "walks", but by no means all. For example, my mum is now in a rock choir.
The next STW ride would probably be a good place to start....
Have a look at the university of the third age [url= http://www.u3a.org.uk ]U3A[/url]. They run courses for mature folk in all sorts of subjects. Generally i'd agree with IHN above see what's available locally and dive in, maybe rekindle an old interest from years back.
Given that you are asking on a cycling website you've obviously suggested that she gets out with her local CTC or similar cycling group?
Given that you are asking on a cycling website you've obviously suggested that she gets out with her local CTC or similar cycling group?
Thanks, I think those days are behind her now though.
U3A seem to have a group in her town so I'll take a look at that and pass the details over.
We're not local to her so it's just a case of suggesting stuff and then getting her to have the motivation/confidence to "dive in".
Have at look at SAGA stuff
*What are her interests - ramblers are often mature (*no offence intended)
Do a google on your town and clubs, I was surprised (*pleasantly) at what I found, but at least it will let her see whats available and maybe give ideas
Have a look at evening classes
*Also have a look in library - my local library has a local clubs registers
- bowling
- book clubs
.........................................
Was going to suggest U3A too. In-laws are very active members and seem to get a lot from it.
Failing that, Adult Friend Finder 😉
CaptainFlashheart - Member
Get her signed up to "this" website, I reckon it's ideal for her!
Do you not think she's suffered enough Flashy?? 😆
I too am no spring chicken. I found the local U3A demographic to be a tad older than me. Obviously hers may differ. Being outdoorsy I've got busy volunteering at things I enjoy: NT and Wildlife stuff.
And if she wants to meet retired blokes, the local steam railway probably has plenty.
My mate tells me there's something about loco-types that women find irresistable. He says it's the combination of clumping great black boots, greasy overalls, the bandana tied round the neck and the overall smell of coal smoke.
He might have been winding me up.
Plenty of Fish. 😉
Local authority adult education -
there will be loads of 'classes' which are glorified tea/chat sessions during the day, and there is bound to be something she is interested in -
needlecraft/quilting/art/family history/pottery/the list is endless.
I think old folk get a huge discount on the classes aswell.
Taking up a hobby with the primary aim of meeting other people always seems a bit mercenary to me.
If the alternative is feeling like you're going to spend the rest of your life on your own though, I guess it's worth a go.
How about yoga or aquarobics ? Generally both a a bit more sociable than simply going to a gym or pool.
Any sort of charity work; charity shop is the obvious one, but what museums are there in her area ? I know that [url= http://www.avoncroft.org.uk/ ]Avoncroft[/url], [url= http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=svr&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.svr.co.uk%2F&ei=NwMVUZTWAsrT0QWYp4GoDw&usg=AFQjCNEFsAahVc0xtcQadn0aHZEhZEkRkw&bvm=bv.42080656,d.d2k ]SVR[/url] and [url= http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=ironbridge&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ironbridge.org.uk%2F&ei=SQMVUYDrG-Ox0AXp8oDYAw&usg=AFQjCNGXdZXwu2fPT_9_kzDUmQiPjWdRGw&bvm=bv.42080656,d.d2k ]Ironbridge[/url], in this area for example, couldn't keep going without volunteers. There always seems to be good camaraderie amongst the people you meet there too.
Does anyone have any recommendations of places she may meet people to go on holidays with, general companionship etc. Wife even said she's not averse to meeting someone new after a heart to heart the other day.
Obviously she'll be made well aware of the potential perils of meeting people online but I'd rather direct her at websites/places people have recommended rather than just ones I've googled.
Try Singletrakworld.co.uk/forum
I believe the Telegraph dating site is good for ladies and gents of a certain age.
Join a book group or two, they're really for talking just as much as reading.
Then there's the website that keeps popping upon my screen as an advert: Mature Singles.
both my parents mid/late 70's go to more clubs and groups than you can shake a stick at and dont go together to any of them.. ireckon its one of the things that gives them so much energy
the art classes etc are mostly just for chatting etc ..so dont feel mercenary
there are loads of half decent blokes out there in similar circs to your MIL. she should be able to pick and choose. one of dads mates lives in a nursing home and he says he has had so much since he was 20!
My grandfather went on a saga holiday about 5 years after my gran passed. He came back with a new lease of life and a few names and phone numbers. He went onto marry one of these ladies. Not bad for a man of 70.
Echoing what's said above I run evening classes etc in drawing/art over the years I have known of several couples meeting in my groups and friends of friends introducing them.
Its less like an orgy than that sounded...
My mums friend met someone at the local stitch and bitch class, he was learning woodwork next door both in 60's. Hope you find her someone
I often get directed to websites where i can meet ladies of 60+, and view some pretty candid pictures of them too, but I'm thinking she's not that kind of girl.
(Thank god my P-ness allows me to block the inevitable adverts that that comment's going to elicit)
Seriously; I'd not heard of U3A but that looks a good bet - I'm going to suggest it to my mum too.