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The other morning I woke up beside my girlfriend, I said "your looking well" in a sarcastic way (her hair was all over the place) she replied "its hard, waking up beside perfection"! she then persisted to complain about the way I fart/scratch/take my dental plate out at bedtime. To be fair she has a point, so what is and is not acceptable when in bed with your girlfriend and have you ever woken up beside perfection??
shag them then dump them
on a more serious note it is not acceptable for you girls to eat a ridiculously hot and spicy meal, then feel the need for some loving without first washing your hands and brushig your teath
aggggggggg it burns the deep burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be fair she has a point, so what is and is not acceptable when in bed with your girlfriend
Call her by the wrong name?!
If you want a peaceful life you just don't say stuff like that to a woman at all IMO! 😆
Tell them you are turning the light on on a dark morning so they hide under the covers then fart instead!! Classic 😉
tell them your only sleeping with them because they live in Sheffield so convenient for getting some inter ride lovin' during a weekends riding in the peaks.
Ask whether they are up for a threesome with their housemate.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I'm sure I've soe said some other stupid stuff and gotten awy with it.
call them by their mother's name ... doesn't tend to go down too well
"Yeah, but I was thinking about your sister"
"I can see why women need to wear make-up"
"Yeah, but I was thinking about your sister"
Ahhh, the joys of rodeo Sex...
Call her by her sisters name, and see how long you can stay on... 😉
Ask them their name,
That reminds me of a funny story, a frind slept with another friend, not knowing his name the morning after she hunted round his room till she found some post, and then proceeded to call him by a name only his mother used for the rest of the day till he put her out of her misery!
A 'friend' eh, thisisnotaspoon?
t'was indeed, and a fit one at that 🙂
I once woke up and wanted a VERY quick exit (Long story, she was a looker, but I had already boffed her best mate, so it could have been awkward!)
Flash hops out of bed, creeps around the place recovering clothing. Half dressed and in a hurry, I reached the door.
Locked. From the inside. With a key. A key I didn't have.
😯
Ran around trying to find a window. Was half out of the aforementioned glazed portal when....
"Good morning, you, thanks for last night, it was great..... Are in a hurry to get somewhere or something?"
😳
Ask why there is a cucumber under the pillow?
"Good morning, you, thanks for last night, it was great.
I believed you, up until that point...
... so what is and is not acceptable when in bed with your girlfriend...
Ask her to call your wife to say you'll be home soon?
How's life treating you Pete?
Ran around trying to find a window. Was half out of the aforementioned glazed portal when...."Good morning, you, thanks for last night, it was great..... Are in a hurry to get somewhere or something?"
Was that the burly window cleaner at the window saying that to you Flash ?
RudeBoy......fkoff! 😉
The older you get, the longer the list becomes.. 😉
how small is this woman pete?
Waking up beside your girlfriend, what not to do!
Be reaching the vinegar strokes of a danger **** 😈
Chunky, not too bad, who are you?
Rob, she is taller than me!
<5ft?
unt
Urinate?
Smooth people...idiots.
she then persisted to complain about the way I fart/scratch/take my dental plate out at bedtime.
What are you 80?
Manners dude. And learn how to treat a lady.
The dental plate is for orthodontic purposes!
Thank very kin much djglover. Now I've got coffee all over my screen.
LOL