[Closed] Vulgar Cars

I find makers of luxury saloons and sports cars trying to make SUVs to be vulgar in appearance.

Porsche Cayenne
Jaguar F pace
Bentley and Rolls Royce's attempts
All the odd numbered BMW X series

Aston DBX

As above, bloody awful things. The X6 is hideous. I cant stand the look of the iPace from Jaguar either.

Someone who lives in the posh houses at the top of our road has got one of these.

A Lamborghini Urus. Just look at it!!

It looks like it was designed by a five year old schoolboy. It easily trumps those mentioned already that are in much the same vein

I've softened on the Bentagaya, and don't mind the Velar. All even-numbered BMW Xs are gross, though. As is the Aston DBX, the Rolls Tulliallan, and the Lamborghini Urine. The biggest Mercedes thing is horrible as well.

I am not keen on the LR Evoke either. I agree with the above, The BMW X6, particularly in white, is horrible

I'm not a fan of SUVs, I find the majority of them a little chintzy and well, bulbous. I'm also two and a half decades too old to look vaguely cool in a hot hatchback.

They're all tasteless but I'm not the target market. They'll sell tonnes in Dubai and Cheshire.

For the most part I agree, they're horrible things. There's a few Bentayga's round here in North Wales and they look chuffing awful. However, I do like the I-Pace. It's not really an SUV in my mind, more of a supersize, luxury electric hatchback. If I had the means, I'd have one, that or a Polestar 2.

I work for one of the companies that makes two of the cars mentioned so far. This...

They’ll sell tonnes

...is why they are made. So many vulgar people with overloaded wallets. They need our help :o)

Most modern stuff looks vulgar to me with their oversized wheels, fake vents, overly butch design and all the bollocks that is AMG-Line, M-Sport Design and fake exhaust nonsense. Most SUV's look awful, normal hatchbacks and family cars all have to be 'sporty' and aggressive and it all seems style over substance. Much more of a fan of the simpler, understated looks from the late 90's and early 00's. That may explain why I have a Fabia!

This new Audi shows what I think is everything wrong with modern vehicle design:

Massive wheels, aggressive styling, touchscreens for basic controls, massive body and style over substance. It may well be a very capable EV that looks more normal but why does it have a stupidly long bonnet when there's no engine under there? The thing doesn't even fit in a standard parking bay as Jonny demonstrates for half the video!

Pretty much any SUV but particular bile is reserved for SUVs with a "coupe" body style.

X6, Q8, RR Velar, Mini Paceman, X4, Juke etc etc.

but this is the clear winner

Yeah, the front of that Lamborghini Urus appears to use the same design language as the back of my fridge.

They mostly look like badly designed built up shoes, turned into roller skates.

The more you look at the Lambo, the more amazing* it becomes...

* not in a good way

See also Rolls Royce Cullinan. Why anyone one drop a quarter mill on something that looks like an overinflated London taxi is beyond me. Ugly as sin.

Agree re. the Rolls Royce - that is fricking horrendous. I have always detested the Evoke convertible although the picture above with the roof down doesn't tell the full story...

Not sure if being electric is any form of compensation for the rest of it.

The proportions of that Range Rover coupé give it the look of one of those electric toy ride-on cars for spoilt toddlers. It's hideous!

Maybe that's not that far off their demographic, come to think of it.

[img] [/img]

...there's a theme developing here!! 🙂

I’ve always assumed they must be really nice to be sitting inside otherwise why would anyone buy them?

They mostly look like badly designed built up shoes, turned into roller skates.

That’s a great description for a lot of modern cars tbh. I’m not a massive car fan but find most modern offerings to be either bland or of the hideous orthopaedic roller skate school of design

Glad no-one has called out my SUV yet 🙂

for vulgarity masonary is number one

how about a 2 million quid car and the charging them an arm and a leg to glue on some of halfords finest

I will own up to owning one of these!...

[img] [/img]

...it is used for purpose though - to tow a horse box and chuck all the associated horsey crap in the back off. And it was the cheapest one we could get that could do the job. The wife drives it, I try and give it a wide berth as it feels like driving a barge! 🙂

There's a blacked out Bentayga with some daft plastic body kit all over it that lives outside an old ex-council-semi in the estate up the road from me.

It doesn't exactly scream 'purchased with legally acquired funds and competently driven' to put it mildly.

pah, my old allegro had a chrome strip. well, until it fell off.

I quite like the bimmer X2

They mostly look like badly designed built up shoes, turned into roller skates.

That’s a great description for a lot of modern cars tbh

My father's generation used the same description to complain about the first Ford Sierra. I'll add in 'they are all getting too big', 'my wife drives one and I drive a proper car' and 'kids these days - nobody knows how to adjust a carburettor properly anymore'. 😀

There's a white LR Defender near where I live, it's a truly horrible thing in the flesh.

Vulgar is not the same as ugly. There definitely a lot of ugly cars here, but taste is subjective.

I'd posit any Rolls Royce is vulgar but not ugly. As a piece of design and engineering they're quite beautiful and exquisitely made, but as a statement they're utterly vulgar.

There’s a white LR Defender near where I live, it’s a truly horrible thing in the flesh.

The new shape one? If so, I agree, they are grim.

That X2 looks like someone's taken a normal hatchback and driven a riser wedge into its backside. Look at the size of its rear door aperture, what are they trying to squeeze in there, a hippo? Too many confused folds, creases, ledges. Ugly it is, Pininfarina it ain't.

It's weird isn't it - I have always disliked BMW 'SUV' vehicles even though I don't mind their saloons/estates etc. Then there's Lexus - their saloons are bloody awful but I quite like the styling of their SUVs.

The thing doesn’t even fit in a standard parking bay as Jonny demonstrates for half the video!

Not much does. Car have got bigger parking spaces haven’t. There’s a car park in my home town that redone a few years ago, even a fiesta only just fits. It’s notorious for people scraping other cars as the spaces are so tight, that and people take no heed.

Anyway that GT E-Tron may look like it has pointless designs but it doesn’t, there’s a lot in the design to make it as efficient as possible while maintaining a super car look.

All SUVs are vulgar pointless horrific monstrosities and nothing shall change my mind. I can't think if a single one that I Would buy (if I could afford such a thing).

I think the BMW X6 takes some beating. Suge a huge car with only seating for four. I had a client who was the area manager for BMW and even she said they were an horrendous vanity project when they first came out. Here in Germany they seem to be very popular with body builder types with tribal tatoos.

The X2 is pretty awful. Lease on wife's one is thankfully coming to an end. Less practical and a far far far less pleasant drive than the 1 series she had previously. I happily grabbed the keys for a spin in that. I've probably driven the X2 half a dozen times in 3 years. How they can make a car ride that firmly but so wallowy in the corners is beyond me. Thankfully she has seen the light and has moved away from SUV misery for the next one.

There’s a white LR Defender near where I live, it’s a truly horrible thing in the flesh.

The new shape one? If so, I agree, they are grim.

Yep, in white with black decals on it.  Proper cockwomble's car.

How they can make a car ride that firmly but so wallowy in the corners is beyond me.

Because physics. If you raise the centre of gravity of a car by making it taller then it will roll more in the corners. Just one of the reasons SUVs are a stupid idea

Most of the premium SUVs are just badge engineering too. In order of conspicuous consumption, the Bentley Betangya, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne and Audi Q8 are all based on a Volkswagen Tuareg

So many vulgar people with overloaded wallets. They need our help

^^Best mission statement ..evaaa 🙂

I think nothing will beat that Tesla Cybertruck for the ugly prize

Living in deepest Surrey about half of the cars round here must been full size SUV then there is a good proportion of lifestyle pick up trucks and VW transporters. All fine to me, can't say that any of them bother me or are more vulgar than other cars

All SUVs are vulgar pointless horrific monstrosities

I live in the highlands and have a Suzuki Vitara 4x4 - we had snow and ice on the road for 3 months this winter, it has been pretty tricky getting anywhere without. A Fiat Panda 4x4 is just a bit too small and the 'limited edition' updated Suzuki Jimny appears to have all been sold to hairdressers/ speculators.

I just don't get 'coupe' 4x4s like the BMW X6 or even the Nissan Juke. The new LR Defender is pretty ugly too.

X6. hands down. and good news vulgar car fans!

BMW are now doing "light up Grilles" on their new top end ones. So as well as stupid twinkly headlights, now the whole gopping snout will glow too

"look at me, look at me, im a very special boy"

posit any Rolls Royce is vulgar but not ugly.

Goodness. Are you really saying that RR/taxi thing pictured above isn't ugly?

How they can make a car ride that firmly but so wallowy in the corners is beyond me

He he. That'll be the Physics of excess mass combined with elevated drive position providing a too high roll centre. One of the many reasons I will never own one of these monstrosities. The arse of the driver should be just kissing the tarmac or as close as possible - this is the correct way.

A Lamborghini Urus. Just look at it!!

In Lamborghinis defence, they have been making SUV's since the 80's

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamborghini_LM002
https://dyler.com/posts/272/lamborghini-lm002-rambo-lambo

binners
Full Member
Someone who lives in the posh houses at the top of our road has got one of these.

A Lamborghini Urus. Just look at it!!

It looks like it was designed by a five year old schoolboy. It easily trumps those mentioned already that are in much the same vein

Posted 1 hour ago
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One of those parked outside Merlin Cycles - bike business is doing well

I quite like the new Puma. There, I said it.

I find these painted builders vans with stick on tat vulgar

I think the velar is the nicest looking vehicle they’ve ever made, even the new defender is growing on me. Think Klunk had it, anything with a body kit, I’ve seen a bentaga body kit really vulgar. Wonder what the car designers and engineers think as carbon is strapped to their hard work.

My mate drives a Urus. He's quite happy sticking his road bike in the back but a little bit reluctant to put the mountain bikes in. You might think it ugly, but he couldn't get either of them in the Aventador.

*looks up Etron GT expecting supercar looks*

*Finds standard bland Audi genericism -looks like an A5*

*IZ disappoint*

Every BMW since the 635CSI.

Every Audi since the original, pre facelift TT.

Every single post 190E Merc.

Every Land Rover product post Defender/Spen King Range Rover.

All new MINI's.

All SUV's.

Every post 1999 Volvo.

Anything painted matte black.

Any Landcruiser with alloy wheels.

Not sure Rolls-Royces have ever been pretty cars. maybe some of their latest efforts but they all look a bit OTT and vulgar but that's kind of the point of them.

I'm an SUV convert. The wife X3 is a brilliant car. A bit wollowy in the corners if you want to drive like a knob, but if you're just driving normally its perfectly composed and comfortable and not willowy at all. A mate of mine has the full on fire breathing X4M car and it is unbelievable given its size and weight...could easily put a fair few hot hatches to shame in the twisty stuff and would leave them for dust in a straight line. Pin sharp handling, enough grip to tear the tarmac off the road and actually returns mid 50's mpg if driven sensibly. The only criticism of my wife's car is that its a bit tall for a short arse like me to get the bike off the roof. I need to carry a set of step ladders.

I'm less bothered about the looks of cars and in fact I quite like an ugly car. 'pretty' cars like Astons leave me cold - though that RR SUV takes my penchant for an ugly car to the limit. I'm more interested in what they are like inside and how they drive as that is my experience as the driver. The prettiness of the car is something that other people get the benefit of and screw them...its not their car and I've not bought it for their enjoyment. And when it comes to the interior they don't come much nicer than a decent BMW without spending silly money. Certainly nicer than the interior of an Aston that has the odd smattering of switchgear from a Fiesta or something.

Most people drive an SUV where I live and so the don't stick out. The Middle East knows how to do vulgar though.

They have a weird penchant for new Mini Coopers with the union jack all over them. Rank.

Also the Lambo and RR SUVs just look silly as do the new chintzy mini Range Rover Evoque models that seem to channel their inner Juke.

The SUVs that do look good in the world of the Big Car are Lexus, Patrols, non pimped G Wagon, and of course, proper Range Rovers.

Plenty of supercars which are hard to fault but easy to laugh at over speed bumps.

Oh yeah, apart from Veyrons, they've always been gopping.

A mate of mine has the full on fire breathing X4M car and it is unbelievable given its size and weight…could easily put a fair few hot hatches to shame in the twisty stuff and would leave them for dust in a straight line. Pin sharp handling, enough grip to tear the tarmac off the road and actually returns mid 50’s mpg if driven sensibly.

In what world is a 3.0 litre turbo charged petrol engine hauling two tonnes getting 50mpg?

Does driven sensible mean down a hill?

So all cars built since the millennium then?

er, vulgar cars and no mention of anything from USA?!
Chrysler 300, GMC Suburban etc

In what world is a 3.0 litre turbo charged petrol engine hauling two tonnes getting 50mpg?

This.
50mpg? Utter bollocks.

More and more cars fit this description. It's clearly the in thing to have huge, aggressively and chrome-clad lumps these days. I don't like it really.

See plenty of Bentaygas round here, Bentley seem to use our village as part of their test-drive routes, and they're growing on me quite a lot.

The X6 really is fugly, no idea what would possess anyone to sit in one, let alone buy it.

Of course, both are deriggeur in Squamish...

The Lambo Urus is pretty ugly but it's nowhere near as bad as the RR and Bentley SUV offerings

*Finds standard bland Audi genericism -looks like an A5*

Somebody that I am ashamed to be related to has an Audi A5.

The car has just been wrapped in a silver glitter finish. It
is very sparkly.

Inside there are hundreds of Led's covering the headlining. they change colour and produce a twinkling star effect which is controlled using an app.

Air suspension has been fitted so that the car can be lowered to the ground.

Previously the lenses on the fog lights were fitted with filters which meant that they projected red love hearts on the road but those have now been removed.

I wouldn’t look to a group of 40 something, forum dwelling, IT professionals to be a reliable barometer of what is ‘vulgar’ TBH. Your flabby arse in lycra is considerably more vulgar than a soft top Evoque - and that's saying something.

Anything made by Audi.

Nobody's yet mentioned the Maserati SUV 🤮

I saw a black Mercedes G-wagen 4x4^2 in Partenkirchen about 3 years ago. It roared down the cobbled street and a well dressed, little woman in her 60s literally fell out of it, tidied herself up and went to get her hair done.  I'm over 6ft and I'd need a step to get into it

The most ostentatious display of wealth I've seen.

Any car with painted black alloy wheels. I can’t think of any car where this improves the look

My missus used to drive a Velar. Now she drives my Berlingo 😆

The lambo mentioned is truly hideous. I think it's a bit sad that distinguished car makers like RR and Aston Martin have felt they have no choice but to make SUV style monstrosities to keep up with current footballer/oligarch trends.

Your flabby arse in lycra is considerably more vulgar than a soft top Evoque –

I'll have you know my arse is solid and looks great in lycra.

I always thought this article by Giles coren has it spot on.
Times

Apologies if it's behind a paywall but an extract here :

There is just no excuse for driving a farm vehicle in London. You do it purely because your rich friends do it and you are scared that if you don’t drive one they will think you are not rich. Not one of them. Better to collaborate with the fascist occupiers than risk speaking out. I sympathise. It must be lovely to be raised up above all the other traffic with a view over their heads so you don’t feel claustrophobic and threatened. Nothing wrong with a bit of Lebensraum, after all. Sod the smaller cars, you need room to spread out. Ein Volk! Ein Reich! Ein Range Rover!

The new Volga concept is a little understated. Those Russians are not very good at displaying their wealth

The flippin size of this thing, as an "urban daily driver"

On the subject of Guy Fieri

🤯

I visited Oz over 20 years ago and there were a lot of Mad Max style street cars around (I gather the survivors are collectors items now, most of them having been trashed by boy racers). The car that Max drove in the movie was obviously supposed to be function over form, so it's cool.

The car it's based on is ok if you're into American style muscle cars. I gather it's the Oz version of the Sierra Cosworth or Lotus Carlton.

But then you get dickheads trying to make Mad Max clones for fantasy street racing duty, and it's just not classy. This is a properly built show car, but there used to be dozens of half-arsed homebuilt boganmobiles cruising the streets on Friday and Saturday nights with superchargers stuck out the bonnet and other such stupidity.

There are plenty of vulgar cars in the lower price brackets. Doesn't have to be expensive, just needs some 'look at me' affectations, like that weird Cactus thing with the padded cell on the doors.

Or this:

Oh, and any kind of vanity pickup truck with some aggressively male name like 'Barbarian', which is just used to cruise around town rather than for an actual job.

X6 - it just sums up bad taste.

Though one of the upsides of working from home is not having to look at my CEO's Bentayga every day.

I also find the DBX very offensive as, apart from the obvious SUV issue, it is just so bland. The Masterati one falls into that category too - I was looking at one the other day from behind and I realised I wouldn't have been surprised if someone told me it was a Kia.

I’d posit any Rolls Royce is vulgar but not ugly

Err...

I'm pretty sure that's both.