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So the tidying frenzy has died down and the elder visitors from Oz have arrived. Non-stop talking and constant racism (ironic as he's Welsh, she's Scots and they live in New South Wales). Constant talk about migrants coming over here blah blah.
I need a shovel and a couple of volunteers to help me dig the holes.
Everything's gone a bit Brookside?
As them if they voted for Abbot, if so I'll get b&q to send some new slabs round.
Really they are immigrants and ranting about immigrants I would have to take the piss initially BUT in my house you cannot be racist or homophobic and think you can stay .
Get them out of the house delivering UKIP leaflets so your digging can be conducted in peace.
Criminals, the lot of them!
OP. I'll refer you to a video mikewsmith posted the other day. Play them this, then get them to dig their own holes in the patio. No need to exert yourself in this fine weather.