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My mum died last Thursday after a mercifully short battle with MND and last night my Dad slipped into a bit of a state, mentally. His answers are a little confused and he doesn't care about anything.
We have called the GP who is hopefully on route.
I am working on the basis that this is just a part of the process but I wondered if anyone could shed any light on how long this stage might last and what we can do to help?
For background he is 73 and has mobility problems. They had been together 55 years.
The funeral is a week on Wed and we need to talk to the celebrant, will my Dad be able to help with this or do we need to just do it?
Im afraid i cant help answer your questions but please accept my condolences and know that if you need anything just ask.
I'd get on and do it, he won't be in a state to sort it. Similar happened with MIL when FIL died - she has serious mobility issues. We also did all the power of attorney as she didn't want to look after any money/bills/care (still blank refuses to even look at bills - not interested). I also sorted all the paperwork to get council tax sorted, tax return done etc etc, and the Inland Revenue documentation.
There is alot to do, do you have siblings you can divide the work up with ?
Does he have social services support, and carers. If not you may need to start to look into it especially if your mum was a carer.
Sorry for your loss. I'd say get on with arranging things as above - ask for your dad's wishes too so he feels involved. I've no idea re his state and progress - and I doubt anyone will without seeing him.
I’d say get on with arranging things as above – ask for your dad’s wishes too so he feels involved
That's it - it needs to be done and you're in a better place than he is, but keeping him involved might help him come to terms
It seems that events have overtaken us again so an ambulance is on its way.
Thank you for the advice, we will get on with sorting stuff out.
Ugh. Fingers crossed for you.
Sorry, should have said, doctor says he has an infection so in a way that might be a positive. Thanks again.
Fingers crossed. My mum used to get UTIs that would make her quite bonkers.
This was discussed recently on here or on Cycle Chat; elderly folk with a water infection are often confused.
Condolences on the loss of your Mum.
Condolences.
When mum passed last year dad went through a bit of a rough patch. He's coping now but still suffers from anxiety attacks occasionally.
He's still down in Devon on his own though - hopefully that will change with a house sale in the spring and a move nearer to all his kids.
As said above, any sort of infection can play havoc with normal thought patterns!
Sincere condolences to you and your family. Hope all is OK with your Dad too.
Having only recently done all of this when Lyanda sadly passed, I might be able to help you out. Send me a message with what it is your struggling with and I can give you my view on it all. Happy to talk to you on the phone if it's easier, message me and I will provide my number if you wish.
Sorry for the loss of your mother. Try and keep an eye on your dad and take as much off of him as possible to try and reduce the burden and remove the chance of bad decision making from him. If he's mentally ok, he'll bounce back i'm sure, especially if he's got an infection. PErhaps have him stay with you for a bit if thats possible? Just so he isn't at home rattling about on his own.
We have made it to hospital at last.
Sepsis and UTI at the very least.
We have only left him alone since mum died when he asked us to. He's actually very strong. My sister just misread the signs last night and wrongly presumed he had succumbed to grief. Fingers crossed they can get him back on top. We are a close family and all working hard for each other. We didn't need this on top of last week but shit happens doesn't it.
Thank god I didn't plan on dry January! Thank you one all for the kind words and timely advice.
Update
My poor Dad has pneumonia, sepsis and cellulitis but the good old NHS has got him stabilised and he looks way better than he did on Monday.
Some of his problems are related to pre-existing conditions but the the pneumonia is all new.
Mums funeral on is hold till he is ready. And grief is on hold too till he is sorted (kind of, obviously). Two conversations about two parents regarding DNR is two too many.
Once again, thank you for the quick replies and support. I have a good strong family and friends but the knowledge on here is invaluable.