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Good to see someone at least understands that it's knives, forks and spoons in that order. People putting them in in random order are just sick. It's knife, fork spoon, no-one ever says fork spoon knife!
(not so much an unspoken battle as one that makes me disproportionately cross, is that while i desperately want to adhere to KFS because it's the only logical way - we have both sizes of knives and forks for starter and main course use. And if you put all the knives in one compartment and all the forks in another you have to search for the right sized one out of each; by mixing K&F up but segregating by size, you can easily pick a size-matched pair because it's easier to tell a K from a F than a K from a slightly smaller K. So basically she's out-logicked me = disproportionately cross)
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTRFull Member
Do your worst. We do have more teaspoons
My only serious complaint is that you have what looks like some sort of santoku 'style' knife rattling around with a bunch of other utensils. I bet it's more blunt than a house brick, let me guess, you have to squash and tear tomatoes rather than slice them?
But, plus points for general cleaness and organisation.
I'd give it a solid 4.5 out of 10, overall. Reasonable effort.
Are you in the US?
Yes. I try to remember to use English spelling and words when I post here, but I sometimes forget.
Yes. I try to remember to use English spelling and words when I post here, but I sometimes forget.
Honestly, if I were you I wouldn't bother.
I talk with people in the US on a regular basis, I only self-correct when meaning might not be immediately obvious. "Filled up my car with petrol (gas) today."
I used to be more bothered about it, but these days, I just let it happen. There are words that sound and work better. I prefer trash to rubbish and bin to trash can. Mrs.10 has just had to adapt to my hybrid style. Which is an unspoken battle I seem to have won!
There is a special place in internet hell for people who post autoplaying content.
Jaysus! - sorry. At least I did it near the bottom of a page (and it only gets to the alphabet song after a couple of minutes I realise ) Internet hell here I come
That’s a pretty poor collection of cutlery for a couple who’ve been together a fair few years! I’ve seen students with more! 🙂
I do wonder what eventuality he's planning for that would necessitate three chopsticks.
Not closing drawers, my OH leaves them open by an inch which makes the ones in the bottom of the wardrobe lethal. Kitchen draws left open just enough to collect all tge crumbs off the worktop. How difficult is is it to push them that extra inch. It's a battle I seem to be losing, I think she is competely oblivious to me going around closing the drawers. And then there kitchen cupboards, putting so much stuff in them they don't close properly.
I do wonder what eventuality he’s planning for that would necessitate three chopsticks.
On closer examination there are seven.
Plus many others outside the drawer.
Food and cooking.
What to eat, when, who’s going to cook it, how violently will it be cooked if I don’t do it.
"What to eat, when, who’s going to cook it, how violently will it be cooked if I don’t do it."
Know that feeling ?
Unspoken peace declaration walking through town yesterday early evening.
"What's for dinner", she asks
"Any ideas", I reply - silence which I break with "bit early for a kebab - supermarket's still open though"
"one of those frozen stir fry bag things" she ventures
"Yup, I've got a credit card"
She defrosted it in the microwave, I stir fried it.
I've asked mrs_oab what I do that she 'corrects'.
Apparently making lunch and then knocking crumbs from chopping board/cloth into sink but not rinsing = angry emoji
I do wonder what eventuality he’s planning for that would necessitate three chopsticks
I'm more concerned and curious about the need to store several sizes of hole saws in the cutlery drawer
“What’s for dinner”, she asks
“Any ideas”, I reply – silence which I break with “bit early for a kebab – supermarket’s still open though”
“one of those frozen stir fry bag things” she ventures
“Yup, I’ve got a credit card”
She defrosted it in the microwave, I stir fried it.
Curious. I've never tried stir-fried credit card, was it good?
🙂 the "riz cantonnais" the credit was used to pay for was all the better for the lack of effort needed to get it hot and edible on two plates. We didn't eat the plates and ate it with conventional cutlery rather than chop sticks. The credit card lives to make another such purchase when we're both too lazy to cook properly. 🙂
I suppose you think volume knobs can be set to odd numbers too. Freak
I too am an even number volume knob type of guy.
A colleague who was similarly enlightened, somehow found himself in a relationship with a young lady who would only have the volume knob on a multiple of five. Which meant that if it was on 10 and it needed turning up just a tad, the only mutually acceptable next stop was 20..
They weren't popular with the neighbours and the relationship unsurprisingly foundered
Earth covered flower pots? The earth will just magically disappear!
My wife operates a similar scorched earth policy when it comes to what should and shouldn't go in the dishwasher. Her crowning glory, at the time of writing, was putting funkrodent junior's beach buckets (still liberally encrusted with sand) through a cycle. Once we'd decided that sandblasted glasses weren't ideal and replaced them, I discovered that the gritty little sods get everywhere. Took about five deep, deep clean before it was safe to use again. Despite that the top rack still grinds a bit when being pulled in/out
I too am an even number volume knob type of guy.
TBH I fail to see why a volume control needs numbers at all. It's not a thermostat, you're not trying to attain "15 degrees loud" over the next ten minutes.
I discovered that the gritty little sods get everywhere.
Yup. That's small children for you.
My wife eats way healthier than I do - fruit is an occasional thing for me. She eats a lot of apples, typically every time we go out in the car she takes an apple with her and consumes it - apart from the core. She leaves that bit "to throw away later" but never seems to do so - the van had a small collection of desiccated apple cores over the summer, 4 or so - my car has at least two apple cores in it currently - one on the passenger mat ( fairly well on it's way to desiccation) , and one in a cup holder (fresh)- courtesy of our youngest daughter. I think she's trying to turn the kids into apple core leavers as well....
Can I upgrade the draining rack horror? I sometimes find the posh crystal wine glasses (that I refuse to use) precariously sandwiched under our biggest heavy saucepans and have to carefully extract them (on one occasion I didn't dare touch anything and left the high stakes Jenga to my wife)
On the same topic, if the washing machine has been turned on to wash the horse poo/urine/hair/swear from various horse rugs/boots/numnahs, if I'm lucky I will hear various small items falling off the draining rack at the beginning of the unbalanced spin cycle and will have about 5 seconds to run in and catch the saucepans before they get avalanched onto the floor.
Other topics not seen yet on this thread...
WFM tea mugs with an inch of cold tea hiding under a stack of apple cores and other rubbish.
Manky sponges and clothes festering in the plug hole and grease under the washing up bowl.
26 coats for various outdoor activities cluttering up the hall, I've added another set of hooks behind the kitchen door for all the cycling ones but apparently packing away winter coats in summer and vice versa is not acceptable...
The wife won our 25 year long game of mismatched cutlery warfare.
When we first moved in together 25 years ago she bought two brand new sets of cutlery. Lovely, job done, that's us sorted in cutlery for the rest of our lives. Except she bought two different styles ON PURPOSE so we would have a mismatched cutlery draw just like at her parents house, for some unknown reason she likes it. Luckily I spotted this in time to exchange it for the matching style. Potential cutlery OCD trigger averted. Every now and then over the following 20 years I would bring up just how close we had come to mismatched cutlery, we would laugh about it together...or so I thought.
Little did I know during this period my wife was planning an unexpected response.
Fast forward 20 years bigger kitchen, mysteriously one day a new set of cutlery (the posh set apparently) appears with a second cutlery tray. My wife now takes great pleasure in mixing the posh with the beater cutlery set at any opportunity so it now looks like her parents cutlery draw. She seems much happier these days.
Except she bought two different styles ON PURPOSE so we would have a mismatched cutlery draw just like at her parents house,
We have a winner.
Flatware (and cutlery) should be mismatched. Its a simple indication that the household cares about what matters.
Which isn't whether your viners match.
WFM tea mugs
Huh?
Manky sponges and clothes festering in the plug hole and grease under the washing up bowl.
Oh, oh, I know. Dangling shit.
Tea towels dangling from drawer handles, so you have to move them to get into the cupboard below. There's three right now, all on different drawers. A grotty dishcloth draped over the mixer tap. Half a dozen assorted cloths hanging from the rail across the front of the cooker's extractor hood. Then when I wang one across the room in a fit of pique after I've negotiated a cupboard curtain only to have the door snatched out of my hand by the stupid bloody child locks,* I'm the one in the wrong.
(* - which I fitted)
but apparently packing away winter coats in summer and vice versa is not acceptable…
It's a right faff though when summer up here happens on a random mid week day in May or June...
Soup spoons? Pasta spoons?
I noticed another one this morning. The most of the summer our clothes pegs just live on the line rather than putting them all back in to the hanging bag thing to then get them back out the next day. When I bring the dry washing in I make sure the pegs are clipped back on loose so they can be slid along. Given that there's more chance of winning the lottery than they next load requiring exactly the same peg spacing, this makes perfect sense. She, on the other hand, rams them back on to the line so that they are locked in position which is a right pain for the next person (normally me) to hang stuff out as once you get more than one peg out of sync you have to start unclipping multiples without dropping them, or the clean washing, all over the grass.
there are obviously 2 sizes of spoons
Tablespoon?
Pasta spoons?
At the risk of repeating myself,
Huh?
The kitchen bin lid. In some respects it's a bit like the cover on the toilet seat, which must have been covered by others above.
She has an absolute obsession with "Must close the bin lid because there are flies around" (even though there really aren't in Sept) so every time she walks past it, she clips the lid down. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm standing 6ft away peeling potatoes, and the peelings will need to go in there in a short while. So I scowl, open the lid, put the peelings in, then get back to what I need to do next - which is cut the corner off a bag of carrots or take the stalks off some broccoli or the leaves off a cauli, or whatever. When I then need to put the corner of the bag in the bin... guess what? And a few mins later, having taken the piece of lamb out of its wrapping, the chuffing lid's back down. Again.
For the love of Christ, woman, just **** off out of the kitchen for a while. You'll get your dinner that much quicker, and my blood pressure will stay in the green.
why aren't you composting or food wasting your peelings and broccoli stalks?
No sympathy for you, you're clearly a wrong'un
“What’s for dinner”, she asks
“Any ideas”, I reply
This is wrong - there's a hack for this, also aplies when you ask them where they want to go out to eat...
Instead of "what do you fancy for dinner" or "where do you want to go for dinner"
You say: "guess what I'm making for dinner?!" or "Guess where I'm taking you for dinner tonight?!"
After a fake guessing game, you'll then have a few suggestions from the other half, all of which are acceptable as they suggested them, so you simply pick whatever you prefer and "yess it's XXXXX, how did you guess? it's like we have a psychic connection or something!!!"
@thelawman - Our bin has an electric lid, so it automatically opens itself and closes itself when you wave your hand in front of it. Sounds like you need one.
We didn't mean to get it but it was the only decent looking one that fitted in the space.
However the dog soon figured it out and liked to go rummaging in the bin. So we had to disable that feature (took the battery out).
But yeah you're a wrongun, recycle your food waste 😉
why aren’t you composting or food wasting your peelings and broccoli stalks?
But yeah you’re a wrongun, recycle your food waste 😉
Yeah, yeah, I know, I do feel guilty about 'em. There's no facilities from our council for collecting food waste (although I believe it's coming next year), we have no compost heap in the garden, and if I put them in the garden waste then the green bin gets rejected. We're both pretty good on everything else, honest we are. The halo only really slips on food waste.
We had a composter in the garden and we were good w kitchen waste - until recently opening the lid there was a rat sitting on top with knife and fork waiting for dinner. So we've been stuck w food waste in the bin for a few months.
Anyway on a similar topic as bin lids getting closed, i'll be cooking, and will have bits ready for the next stage, dishes, spatulas laid out in advance, and Mrs Epic breezes through while my back is turned and everything gets put away - FFS. And it happens every time i cook (which is often) FFFFS
I’m standing 6ft away peeling potatoes, and the peelings will need to go in there in a short while.
I fixed this one by affixing a hook to a nearby cupboard. If I'm, say, peeling potatoes, I'll hang a disposable carrier bag onto it to receive the peelings and then dump the lot into the bin in one pass at the end. I have a hundred of the zarking things because the local corner shop cannot grasp the concept of "no thanks, I don't need a bag" despite me a) buying one item and living 20 yards away and b) visibly having a rucksack over my shoulder expressly for this purpose.
Our bin has an electric lid, so it automatically opens itself and closes itself when you wave your hand in front of it.
Same. It's a pain in the hoop. It's a needy little prick that goes "hello!" every time you walk past it; the lid opening mechanism once triggered gives you a fixed time of a couple of seconds to scoop in your offerings before closing again regardless of how much you flail about in front of it, meaning that you have to activate it then grab the power switch at the back completely defeating the object of having an automatic bin in the first place; and worst of all it trains learned behaviour so you find yourself flapping impotently in front of the totally manually-operated recycling bin, usually with an audience for maximum Idiot Points. The bastarding thing.
No Mrs B, the tin opener does not need a full wash in the sink with the other dishes after every use. But if you insist on putting it on the chopping board that's had the raw chicken on it after you've used it then it doesn't really leave much choice.
i’ll be cooking, and will have bits ready for the next stage, dishes, spatulas laid out in advance, and Mrs Epic breezes through while my back is turned and everything gets put away – FFS.
The struggle is real, brother.
Dinging a tin of soup last week. I got out a soup bowl, got out a spoon, decanted the tin of soup into the bowl, put the bowl in the microwave, turned around to find the spoon had disappeared into the washing up. Apparently I'm told that "you're a ****ing menace" was an overreaction but I stand by my observation.
This is the Disproportionately Cross thread, right? (-:
Using a spoon was a sign of elegance back in the day.
Before their manufacture was banned by the Word of Munsell?
[hastag oblique reference that no-one will probably get]
When I work from home I use the smaller, north facing bedroom - no direct sun/heat, unlike the south facing room MrsMC works in.
Distinctly chilly breeze coming in that window so I closed it when I first got up, radiator wasn't on so assumed the heating hadn't kicked in. Went downstairs, radiators on. Back upstairs, the valve on the radiator was set on frost, so I turned it up just to take the chill off the room.
Went back in the room after breakfast and a shower to find the radiator was turned off and the chilly wind was coming in the open window. Apparently I'm not to be trusted deciding the temperature of the room I'm going to work in all day.
Fine line between having a laugh and control freakery.
Apparently I’m not to be trusted deciding the temperature of the room I’m going to work in all day.
The ultimate real office simulation experience there.
The ultimate real office simulation experience there.
Oh god, don't get me started on aircon wars. The number of people who think a thermostat has two settings, 16' and 30', astounds me. Facilities put a lock box over the controls in the end.
You say: “guess what I’m making for dinner?!” or “Guess where I’m taking you for dinner tonight?!”
This is genius, going to use this.
Can't believe we're 8 pages in and I appear to be the only one with hob temperture wars.
When I'm boiling rice \ pasta \ vegetables once the water is boiling the gas gets turned down so the water is simmering just off the boil. Wife on the other hands insists on the water being boiling violently until the end of the cooking insisting that this cooks the food quicker.
She'll sneek over to the hob when I'm cooking and turn the temp up, I'll casually turn the temp down when she's cooking and has left the hob unattended 🙂
Confession time, it's FKS for me on the basis that that's how the table gets set
Can’t believe we’re 8 pages in and I appear to be the only one with hob temperture wars.
Nope, same here. Cooking pasta (say), she'll have the gas burner on near full (with no pan lid on of course). If I do lunch for the kids it'll be barely above minimum, she'll helicopter going "it's their dinnertime at 12!" and I'll quietly explain, again, that water doesn't get any hotter than "boiling."
water doesn’t get any hotter than “boiling.”
My advice would be NOT to bring the considerations around altitude into this bit of the convo 🙂
Hiya,
Oh. We have the battle of the sink bowl. My wife puts dirty stuff in the bowl to put in the dishwasher for later. I'm more logical I put the dirty stuff straight into the dishwasher. I don't like doing things twice...Maddening.
BR
JeZ
Women are complicated, irritational, non-common-sensical nutjobs. They are always right though, in their eyes.
Facilities put a lock box over the controls in the end.
Worked in an upstairs office once that had a single skinned corrugated steel roof, close enough overhead that you could touch it. In the summer it was roasting, winter it was freezing, raining it was like sitting inside a drum at a heavy metal concert.
BUT, to save money they'd only fitted a single AC unit, in the middle of this 30m long and 5m wide office space.
So, for us poor buggers sat at the ends of the office, we got *zero* effect from it at all. Unless we did a sneak settings adjust if we got in early, or found a quiet 3 minutes at lunch.
An hour later those sat near the unit would realise they were getting small icicles forming on their ears and nose and move it back. So we'd get about 20-30 minutes of blessed relief from the 30+ degrees we had in the office.
The fire escape door was right behind me, but if i opened it, the alarm went off and fire safety turned up.
Cooking pasta (say), she’ll have the gas burner on near full (with no pan lid on of course)
That's just insanity, the lid on the pot will allow the water to heat up much faster, as it traps a lot of heat in and require less energy to maintain a simmer once it's hot enough... so you can dial the hob down a bit once it's hit boiling... the lid is removed if you want to reduce a thin watery sauce down as it allows much faster evoporation.
Having it on full boil only serves to make a mess when it boils over, and to waste energy as you're using energy to create more steam rather than cooking the food any faster...
But hey, we can't be applying any kind of logic to this situation !!!
My advice would be NOT to bring the considerations around altitude into this bit of the convo 🙂
Well, yes, but my kitchen's altitude is fairly constant. (-:
An hour later those sat near the unit would realise they were getting small icicles forming on their ears and nose and move it back. So we’d get about 20-30 minutes of blessed relief from the 30+ degrees we had in the office.
All too familiar. "But I'm cold!" Put a jumper on then, I'm sweating bullets and can't take my skin off. The bloody office lizard and she's chosen - chosen - to sit directly under one of the a/c units FFS.
That’s just insanity
I know all this.
She'll do it with tins of soup or beans too. When I suggested using one of the two microwave ovens to ding it in a couple of minutes she mumbled something about better control of the temperature. Then it gets plated up and has to sit on the worktop for 15 minutes as it's too hot for the kids. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I get that food has to be cooked through but it's not raw chicken.
She's otherwise an intelligent woman and I love her dearly (despite whining on here), but there are times when I think she's got an underactive common sense gland.
Chunks out of the butter, like a rabid squirrel has been trying to reach the bottom of tub in the hope of an elusive nut. Drives the wife crazy.....
I’ll quietly explain, again, that water doesn’t get any hotter than “boiling.”
No, but the steam in a rolling boil does.
I've not been through all the replies but I bet the two of the most common are:
- Toilet seat being left up or down
- Toilet paper being the wrong way round
I know all this.
Haha yes I wasn't accusing your other half of actually being insane, it was more tounge in cheek...
Reminds me of a story my mate told me the other month as we were having a conversation about general kitchen faux-pas...
"Michelle is an absolute menace in the kitchen, she opened a brand new jar of olives the other day.. took out the portion she wanted, drained all the brine out of the jar, down the sink, and then put the jar back in the cupboard"
I was like...Dude..
He was like "yeah I know, I only let her cook microwave meals now" lol
People, eh?
Toilet seat being left up or down
This one is easy for us. The toilet lid stays down (other than when you're using it, obviously). Otherwise one of the cats will try and drink from it. Also it helps to contain, forgive me, particulate dispersal when flushing.
Toilet paper being the wrong way round
Aside from practical concerns, this is another easy battle. The patent on the toilet roll & holder shows it the correct way around, and Andrex now stamp little puppies into the sheets* which would be upside-down if the roll was on the wrong way.
(* - not actual puppies, what is wrong with you people?)
Having worked in an Italian restaurant I was taught that pasta should be cooked at a rolling boil.
This helps prevent the pasta from sticking together when it's cooked, wether it's dried or fresh.
With fresh pasta, which cooks in 2 or 3 minutes it helps the heat get to all the pasta quickly by moving the water around with a bit of turbulence. If you simmer it, the pasta towards the outside of the pan will cook a little more slowly than that in the centre.
Boiling it quickly gets the starch out quicker (starch is like glue) and you don't want your pasta glued together, so pasta should be cooked with the lid off, with a wooden spoon laid across the top to stop the starchy water boiling over.
^ you may have a point there, but it's a tenuous one, IMO.
Reason being is I've never had issues with pasta sticking together when simmering it* and you drain the starchy water off when you are done cooking it anyway.
*but I do give it a quick stir a few times during cooking.
In any case, that's all well and good when you've got paying customers to offset the gas bill. This is to feed 2-year olds, they'd probably like sticky pasta. I'm pretty sure they're not going to send it back because it's not quite al dente.
The pan of boiling water frothing away with the burner on full chat , because it cooks faster is exactly the same logic that dictates a room MUST heat up faster with the thermostat at 30c instead of 20c .
"The pan of boiling water frothing away with the burner on full chat , because it cooks faster is exactly the same logic that dictates a room MUST heat up faster with the thermostat at 30c instead of 20c"
Not really, transference of temperature is affected by motion. For example, ice cubes will freeze more quickly in a tray of hot water than they will in a tray of cold water because of the turbulence present in hot water.
Ergo the pasta will heat up more quickly and evenly in a pan of fast moving boiling water than it will in a simmering one, albeit both being at the same 100 degree temperature.
Owing to the price of energy I too have tried to cook pasta at a simmer but the results take longer and are not quite as good so I've reverted to the rolling boil method, at least the hob is on for a shorter amount of time so the savings made by boiling lower but longer might be minimal.
But the more important question is why has that bottle of sparkling mineral water that I opened yesterday and put in the fridge gone flat?
I think we all know the answer....
Can’t believe we’re 8 pages in and I appear to be the only one with hob temperture wars.
I think it's because it's so obviously a problem for everyone that it didn't need to be mentioned.
Mrs Reeksy does this with everything. I swear she adds 20% extra food for spoilage, because that's how much ends up burnt to the bottom.
But, she can also whip up a different meal time and time again in the time it would take me to find the ingredients and make a decision about what to cook.
God knows what they're coming up with over in the Women forum!
The van is her car. Seemingly that makes it ok to treat it as a mobile cloak room. I removed 7 of her coats and jackets from it this morning. 7. I don’t even own 7* coats.
*this may not be true.
ice cubes will freeze more quickly in a tray of hot water than they will in a tray of cold water because of the turbulence present in hot water.
Is that actually true? If it is then it's surely negligible and probably as much to do with evaporation (ie less liquid) than convection currents.
Ergo the pasta will heat up more quickly and evenly in a pan of fast moving boiling water than it will in a simmering one, albeit both being at the same 100 degree temperature.
Owing to the price of energy I too have tried to cook pasta at a simmer but the results take longer
It would be interesting to time that, For Science! I'm prepared to accept that a rolling boil might cook faster than a simmer, but I'm less convinced that it's worth burning five pound notes to shave a few seconds off the time.
Christ, what have I started.
Another one for fiddling with heating controls, yesterday we were driving in the rain, and it's pissing down. I turn the heater on to clear the misting windscreen, so that I can see where I'm driving, always handy, as it starts to clear she will either-
a. Turn the fan off, and the thermostat down.
b. Open the window.
c. Both of the above.
When I turn the fan back on because of the windscreen misting up again she'll say "You always have to do the opposite "
I bite my tongue.
Tops on bottles
How much effort does it take to screw it on properly so that next time I pick it up it doesn't spill everywhere?
@jimster01 The rules chez sandwich state that the driver controls ventilation and usually music choice in the vehicle. Vehicle and passenger safety is the driver's job and should not be interfered with.
There's a rich seam of autistic-type behaviour going on here that would have a researcher occupied for a full study!
We have the soggy dishcloths issue but every so often someone "cleans" is in a sink of bleach. It'd be nice to know that before I start putting dishes in to wash them.
We have the same with hob temp wars. Mrs EB cooks everything on the BIG burner at full gas, despite pan size and contents.
I’ve never met someone who can consistently make a large portion of her dinner stick to a non-stick wok. Her argument is “dinner is cooked, i got me and nipper fed, what’s the problem?”. Apparently my argument of “your drove the car to work, you burned out the clutch on the way there and pranged the car, same problem!” doesn’t fly!
turn the heater on to clear the misting windscreen
Ok, but I haven't needed to do that since I first got a car with air con.