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Why does the washing machine make me wait about five minutes after it's finished before it lets me open the door? It knows it's stopped spinning, it knows there no water in it, so why won't it let me get my lovely clean undercrackers out?
it knows there no water in it,
There is. It's slowly dripping out of the wet washing. Takes about five minutes.
Your washing machine is clearly cleverer than you are 😉
Like an irritating politician, can I answer your question with another question......what is so crucial about a five minute delay in retrieving clean, but presumably still quite wet, nether garments?
I guess the knock-on effect is that further down the line they will be five minutes later in drying, but if a five minute delay in the acquisition of fresh smelling shreddies is crucial then you are either leading an exciting, if slightly unusual, lifestyle, or have made some regrettable lifestyle choices.
And in answer to your inevitable follow-up question to a question to a question, yes I am stuck at home with rain outside and feeing a bit bored.
(-:
Well, I'm clever enough to escape out of a cupboard, it's clearly not.
then you are either leading an exciting, if slightly unusual, lifestyle, or have made some regrettable lifestyle choices.
Can I have both?
My washing machine lets me open the door, mid-shift usually in less than a 1 minute. It's mega for disorganised ****s like me. And it doesn't have a touch screen amen.
...or, the machine is clever enough to appreciate the security and tranquility of the cupboard where its only worries in life are idiots prematurely yanking its handle?
or, the machine is clever enough to appreciate the security and tranquility of the cupboard where its only worries in life are idiots prematurely yanking it’s handle
(dreams of a life of security and tranquillity where someone occasionally yanks my handle)
…or, the machine is clever enough to appreciate the security and tranquility of the cupboard where its only worries in life are idiots prematurely yanking its handle?
If someone was continually shoving their filthy linen inside you and ordering you to clean it, would you not occasionally relish at least five minutes of peace and quiet?
Thought this was another On One pricing thread.
Why has it taken me so many trips around the sun to discover that a dollop of hummus on a square of dark chocolate is an exquisite and intriguing taste sensation and ideal snack-bite.
Well, I’m clever enough to escape out of a cupboard, it’s clearly not.
If you leave the transit bolts in, when it goes on spin cycle a washing machine can escape and move across the floor pretty quickly as it goes. Don't ask me how i know this. Particularly don't ask my wife...
Why does the washing machine make me wait about five minutes after it’s finished before it lets me open the door?
Mine makes me wait about 15 minutes while telling me that there is only 1 minute left of the programme. Terrible time-keepers, washing machines.
On a similar domestic appliance note, why does our new tunble drier have an app to control it? Surely the only way to use a tumble drier is to put stuff in, check how dry they are a while later, and then extend the tumbling or not?
Also, since when can fridges stream music, and why? Can a turntable now chill my food?
what is so crucial about a five minute delay in retrieving clean, but presumably still quite wet, nether garments?
Don't know about him, but ours beeps to say it's finished the cycle (washing and drying), come and get your washing, but doesn't let you in for another 2 mins. The bloody tease.
If you need another 2 minutes, I don't care, just beep when it's ready!
My previous washing machine was a proper liar. programe is 1.5hrs, still going 2.75 hours later, never made any sense
my tumble dryer will finish the cycle, showing the words End on the display and continue to do quick 1 min stints for about 10-15mins after that.
Can a turntable now chill my food?
Depends what sort of music your food likes.
Mine plays me a little tune to alert me to the fact that it’s finished, we’re not talking a couple of beeps here, we’re talking full 1 minute of a piss poor rendition of a Schubert tune that some poor sod had to programme.
Also, since when can fridges stream music
Netflix and chill?
Our washing machine has a touch screen that is closer to a motion sensor so if you walk past it you can suddenly change it from a quick wash to a 4 hour eco wash with the slightest brush of your clothing.
The new tumble dryer also came with an app which I haven't even looked at. Again why?
It is like the current craze for replacing all buttons in cars with touch screens. It is selling cheaper build as a tech improvement. If you want to reduce the number of buttons that just allow them to change function depending on what you are trying to do. Select the radio and the buttons are volume or chanel or whatever, select the HVAC and they become temperature and fans speed or whatever
My Roomba does a triumphant little beeping fanfare when it finishes cleaning and manages to dock. Yes, well done, you've managed to do what you're supposed to do.
Mine makes me wait about 15 minutes while telling me that there is only 1 minute left of the programme.
Otherwise known as 'microsoft minutes'.
Fridges can probably play Minecraft if you're daft enough to pay someone £2k to put a £50 tablet in the door.
we’re talking full 1 minute of a piss poor rendition of a Schubert tune that some poor sod had to programme.
And mine then segues directly the short 'turning off' jingle, which is in a different key and tempo, FFS!
My Roomba does a triumphant little beeping fanfare when it finishes cleaning and manages to dock.
Don't we all.
It's the tumble dryer's time display that is completely useless. How can it give a time for a load when it has no clue how large the load is or how wet it is? The countdown timer goes down really slowly, a bit like one of those downloading timers which keep jumping around: 10 seconds left... 5 seconds... 2 minutes... 1 minute... 4 hours... 3 seconds...
The washing machine on the other hand is amazingly precise and unlocks the door asap. Unless you look at it funny, in which case it sulks and refuses to unlock the door at all.
Most Useless Appliance Feature award goes to the Neff oven though where the alarm for the timer consists of 8-10 very quiet beeps. If you happen to be in the next room or doing something remotely noisy, like say the washing up or boiling the kettle, no chance of hearing it.
Why does my 'smart' central heating turn itself on in the middle of the night? I've told it I don't want any heat during the night, I've told it not to warm up early to achieve a set temp in the morning, I've told it to stop pissing me off but it still randomly comes on to cook the house occupants.
My Siemens oven takes the award for lack of self awareness with a Shabbat setting...
Im struggling to understand the temporal anomaly in the garage and workshop area. once an item has been put down it has the ability to move to another location. As well as this phenomenon there is the item that falls to the ground which is always witnessed and the items location marked, but removing ones eyes from said object results into it F^&king off into another dimension, only to be seen again when a replacement park /item has been ordered and delivered .
Our new washing machine came with an App. When I stopped mid ride after 30 miles away to check why my phone was badgering me with notifications, I realised this was a solution looking for a problem.
However the 'sock* insertion window' is a straight up design classic
*other underwear can substitued.
Our new washing machine came with an App. When I stopped mid ride after 30 miles away to check why my phone was badgering me with notifications, I realised this was a solution looking for a problem.
A friend of mine bought an ebike a couple of years ago. As he was driving home from work a couple of weeks later, he had a string of notifications from the ebike app suggesting that now that he was about to arrive home, maybe he should think about taking his bike out a for a spin. Is neediness a specification requirement in everything in the 21st C?
My ex had a stubborn mark on her washing machine. I thought I'd be helpful and used paint thinners to remove it.
Took all the program info too.
Still, it was exciting from then trying to guess which program you'd programmed.
She didn't share the excitement.
Our washing machine has a touch screen that is closer to a motion sensor so if you walk past it you can suddenly change it from a quick wash to a 4 hour eco wash with the slightest brush of your clothing.
Samsung
However the ‘sock* insertion window’ is a straight up design classic
Samsung
if you’re daft enough to pay someone £2k to put a £50 tablet in the door.
Also Samsung
1 minute of a piss poor rendition of a Schubert tune that some poor sod had to programme.
Samsung again
And mine then segues directly the short ‘turning off’ jingle, which is in a different key and tempo, FFS!
Yep Samsung
To be fair I don't particularly mind any of that, I'm easy going. But my Samsung microwave is far more annoying. Put something in, set timer, bzz then beep as you'd expect. Nothing wrong there. But then after a minute it starts to get anxious on my behalf that I've forgotten that I put something in there, and probably also needs a bit of validation and attention, so it beeps again. Yes, thanks, I'll be there in a minute I've got my hands full right now. So it waits another minute and beeps again. Yes, I haven't forgotten, just sit tight, you're ok. One more minute.. beep.. ****S SAKE YES I KNOW!
Argh!
Mine makes me wait about 15 minutes while telling me that there is only 1 minute
So much as this as all postings on this thread should be ethereal or philosophical, "I fink your pump filter needs cleaning mate"
The ability for a machine with an inherent characteristic to change behaviour when a different person uses it. I can get my computer to match the password I have set 100% of the time without fail. Other members of my family using the same computer and it loses the ability to do this, weird.
And it doesn’t have a touch screen amen.
Mine has bloody NFC - apparently I can control it from my phone and download extra programmes. FFS.
The ability for a machine with an inherent characteristic to change behaviour when a different person uses it
This week in my house:
"Dad, the handle for the back door is floppy and not working properly"
"Floppy? It works exactly as it always does?"
Is neediness a specification requirement in everything in the 21st C?
my Samsung microwave is far more annoying
I've inherited an unbranded microwave which is seemingly a Tesco model. I don't know if it's by design or a fault but everything you do generates a shrill beep. Setting the time is via a rotary knob* which goes up on the digital display in ten second increments. Beep every time. Set it for a minute, six beeps. Think "right you bastard" and rag it round at speed then it accepts about a third of the clicks whilst going EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE in a big loud voice. Pain in the 'arris.
(* - is there any other kind?)
generates a shrill beep.
We've discovered, only after it's been bought and delivered that every appliance has this now.
Fridge *dingding*
Toaster *beep*
Kettle *beep*
Oven *beep*
Microwave *beep*
Tumble dryer *beep*
Washing machine *hold my beer, listen to this tune*
Aaaaaaaarghhh
Samsung washing machine plays a little jingle when it’s finished, but abruptly stops before the tune has finished. You knew how long the music window was - you designed it, was it really too difficult to choose a piece of music that fits the allotted time. Or maybe it was your Nans favourite and you had to have it I don’t know, but is it really beyond the wit of man to speed up the track by a second or two know one would notice or (sorry this is where my thinking gets a bit radical) just extend the playing time so that the bloody jingle can finish?
We have a phone answering machine (remember them?) that some idiot designer decided to make polite.
Answers unknown numbers immediately and after the welcome and beep starts recording the message about new boilers, windows security or whatever other bollocks companies call landlines for, then after the call hangs up (remember that this is how it knows to stop recording because the call has finished) announces “thank you for calling”...
Why is belly fluff always blue?
Why is belly fluff always blue?
Mine's always black?
Mine is always the same colour as my socks
Well this thread has made me smile. I have just been played the Samsung 'truncated triumph' indicating the machine has successfully completed the very thing it was designed to do. I'm now thinking it sounds a big smug about the whole endeavour. Still I'll forgive it all that for the 'pant chute'
Our microwave has a potato setting. We've no idea what this does. I've tried putting other vegetables in there and zapping them with the 'tato waves for 5 mins. But it does not in fact turn them into anything tuba shaped. It's disappointing frankly.
Apparently we need a new fridge. My entire purchasing strategy is based on finding one WITHOUT an app 😉
Our microwave has a potato setting. We’ve no idea what this does. I’ve tried putting other vegetables in there and zapping them with the ‘tato waves for 5 mins. But it does not in fact turn them into anything tuba shaped. It’s disappointing frankly.
Aeroplane mode on my telephone is a similar letdown
But it does not in fact turn them into anything tuba shaped. It’s disappointing frankly.
A tuba:
A tuber:
I cant be bothered to do the images, but
A beer keg
A hangover
the fact i could remember a potato was a tuber feels like a major win 😉
oh and LOL at Aeroplane mode. Mine doesn't work either.
😁
If we are talking true mysteries then how are boobies so hypnotic?
We’ve discovered, only after it’s been bought and delivered that every appliance has this now.
I'm not one for habitually naming cars, but when I had an i40 I named it Crosby. Because every time you did anything it went "bing!"
If you leave the transit bolts in, when it goes on spin cycle a washing machine can escape and move across the floor pretty quickly as it goes. Don’t ask me how i know this. Particularly don’t ask my wife…
🤣🤣🤣
...
If we are talking true mysteries then how are boobies so hypnotic?
Not always...
I guess the knock-on effect is that further down the line they will be five minutes later in drying, but if a five minute delay in the acquisition of fresh smelling shreddies is crucial then you are either leading an exciting, if slightly unusual, lifestyle, or have made some regrettable lifestyle choices
Marginal gains
Nope. Heatmiser.
Nissan Leaf has a seat sensor that thinks a bag of shopping on the passenger seat is a person. Put he bag in the foot well and it refuses to stop beeping the seatbelt alarm until you stop the car, turn it off and turn it on again, even if the bag was only there for the second you turned the car on.