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I turned 38 today and feeling old, so read this thread to feel better.
Not sure if I'm feeling better or worse with the expectation of things to come, but it's certainly cheered me up 🙂
Very hard not to laugh out loud at work, thanks fogeys folks
^^ Reported for being underage 😆 🤣
Thanks @reeksy for the clothes peg advice, I could have done with them to keep my eyelids peeled back when going for my contact fitting lessons at Boots, or as I called them, “poking yourself in the eye instruction”! I gave up, deciding that I’d rather spend half an hour every morning looking for my glasses than starting the day with sore eyes and a runny nose.
@slowoldman having still got a good head of hair if I grow a beard, like I did in lockdown, I look like a cross between an aging Animal from The Muppets and the minder from Killing Eve!
Visualise a white bog brush with blue eyes poking out..
Lols @ fast haggis
At 45 I can definitely agree with the blinding pain of hangovers and a very sudden need for glasses to read the tiny text on the back of my sanatogen bottles.
I'm deeply concerned about when the sharting will start and my downstairs flesh start to turn russet. Are they related issues?
I ve started singing to myself when cycling. I thought I was just humming mainly going downhill, bike not me, but people not within humming distance look round so I guess it's louder.
It started with irritable tune syndrome, where I get a random tune in my head and can't get rid of it.
Some friends of friends have a 20 year age gap in marriage. She's 50 he's 70, seem q happy but u can't help notice the difference in lives.
To be fair, on my last honeymoon I got terrible food poisoning and was very very ill. Even a reduction in sharting would likely make for an improvement. I should probably start a new thread for the forum to pick over wedding and honeymoon plans with its own special brand of cynicism.
Getting SAGA car insurance as it is 1/2 the price of the nearest quote!
Came into this thread looking for some therapy/solidarity. Left with a piece of consumer advice. Thanks Matt!
My wife would like us to go on a cruise this year. I am deeply worried I'll be trapped with old people. Only to find I fit the demographic perfectly.
I do find myself standing in front of things (dishwasher, laptop, one of the offpring, etc) and saying 'no, no don't tell me, it'll come to me in a minute'.
@slowoldman having still got a good head of hair if I grow a beard, like I did in lockdown, I look like a cross between an aging Animal from The Muppets and the minder from Killing Eve!
Visualise a white bog brush with blue eyes poking out..
But that's what I look like!
I dropped (oh god! dropping things!) the lid off the milk bottle the other day. Picked it up...
Poured the milk in my tea. Where's the lid? For the next 5 minutes I'm doing pirouettes in kitchen looking for where that lid was. From picking it up, to needing to replace it, blank. It was in the cupboard where the mugs are. Just one example... 59 in 2 days 🙁
A (slightly) older friend recently posed the question: 'At what age do you transition from 'Falling over' to 'Having a fall'? 😀
I like to think I'm still falling over...
@stwhannah With its relentless focus on the positive aspects of ageing you should view this thread as one long, team handed chat up line.😁
Very best wishes to you and the lucky man.
My eyes have stopped working. Always passed eye tests with flying colours, now I can't read the date on my watch and find myself holding things with small print at arms length.
I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.
Following on from the bog sitters theme.
Was in a quant holiday cottage in the Lakes last year which had 3 very low doorframe between the bedroom and the bog.
I was sleeping on the floor as the bed was too small and rubbish.
Had been doing a lot of walking and stuff all week so had quite achey limbs.
After a couple of failed, painful attempts I realised that the safest, easiest and least painful way to go for my multiple nocturnal pisses wasn't to stand-up and walk to the bog but to heave myself onto all fours and crawl to the bathroom. I could then find and use the bog in the dark and then crawl back to bed ( well, thermarest) without having to go through the anguish of standing up.
'miliation
a very sudden need for glasses to read the tiny text on the back of my sanatogen bottles.
I think it would be fun to write to companies in the same point size as they put on the back of their packaging and ask them to write back and tell me if its got any nuts in
I crashed (had a fall?) in a CX race last year and was asked by a medic "where hurts?"; he seemed genuinely bemused by my explanation that as a fifty year old man racing his bike everything hurt even before I hit the ground
Also, I'm sure the healing time for a broken wrist was 6-8 weeks when younger not bloody months as it seems to be nowadays......
Recovering from injury is the thing that irritates me the most as I get older*. Starting marshal arts in my 40s rather than my teens wasn't the best idea, and getting kicked in the hands hurts like a bugger and never seems to heal.
Being 54 when you want to be 28 is crap.
*The 3am pissing, insomnia, loss of tolerance to alcohol, being slower on a bike than my 15 year old son are things that I have come to accept.
BTW. Is this another thread that @stwhannah has polluted with a shitting anecdote?
The randomness of it all. On Sunday I had two halves (a sign of age in itself) of lager with a pizza at dinner time. Woke up yesterday with a proper hangover, felt really sluggish all day. I went to a committee meeting last night in the local pub had four pints woke up this morning, no effects at all and felt ready to take on the world.
No rhyme nor reason to it.
Polluted, or improved?
BTW. Is this another thread that @stwhannah has poluted with a shitting anecdote?
She really should move to Mumsnet...
Polluted, or improved?
Depends on your outlook I suppose. As I've got older I have become a bit more "hand-washy".
I went to a committee meeting last night in the local pub had four pints woke up this morning, no effects at all and felt ready to take on the world.
you're still drunk
I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.
Just **** off will you. I'd forgotten about that
After a couple of failed, painful attempts I realised that the safest, easiest and least painful way to go for my multiple nocturnal pisses wasn’t to stand-up and walk to the bog....
I realised another one this morning. I have a single walking pole within arms reach of the bed for days when my back stops working and I just can't stand up. It's rare as long as I keep doing stretching and core exercises but just occasionally (once a year or so) something happens and I just can't get up without support.
he seemed genuinely bemused by my explanation that as a fifty year old man racing his bike everything hurt
My Mum's care home phoned to tell me she'd fallen while taking her daily exercise up and down the corridors with her walking frame. They found her sitting on the floor and asked if anything hurt - she said her leg hurt, but her short term memory is non-existent, so she wouldn't have been replying in the context of having fallen, just that her leg always hurts. She is 96 though, and if I live that long and am no worse I'll be happy.
I dropped (oh god! dropping things!) the lid off the milk bottle the other day. Picked it up…
Poured the milk in my tea. Where’s the lid? For the next 5 minutes I’m doing pirouettes in kitchen looking for where that lid was. From picking it up, to needing to replace it, blank. It was in the cupboard where the mugs are. Just one example… 59 in 2 days
I tried to put the kettle in the fridge the other day.
Most of my age-related issues are entirely expected though, TBF.
Apart from getting little grooves in my fingernails. Didn't expect that.
Apart from getting little grooves in my fingernails. Didn’t expect that.
Shit! I've got them too!
At ease Harry, no cause for alarm: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/nails/faq-20058541
Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.
Totally! 50 this year.
That’s nearly two a day!
Oh, I say - that's jolly good, @MrSparkle! 🙂
I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.
Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again...
Anything over a second and you're officially worn out....
Nails ok. But duff vision and reading glasses in the last few months. Duff hearing. Well it isn't duff, everyone else is mumbling quietly all the time.
And now, big grey nasal hairs. Not many, but they are whoppers. I've gone Gandalf, but only out of my nose.
I bought some autumn/winter overshoes a few months ago. They were very, very cheap, and when they arrived, very cheaply made. No matter, if they only last a few rides...
The zip at the back of the overshoe was black and very small, and when I have my contact lenses in for riding completely indistinguishable from the rest of the leg/overshoe/foot. On first attempt at putting them on, I couldn't see enough detail to zip them up and hadn't allowed much time to faff, being on my way to work, so gave up. I allowed more faff time the next day, but immediately managed to jam the zip partway up. The only option was to rip the thing off and chuck them in the bin in a fit of temper. A waste of £2.50! 😀
I also can't see my toenails clearly when I'm trying to clip them. Slightly too far away without glasses on, and when I have my glasses on I have the same problem as described above.
Who knows what my feet look like these days because I only have a vague idea. Probably talons.
Dropping things, instantly losing things by simply turning around...but mostly dropping things. If I use an allen key for anything I may as well just throw it on the floor straight away to get it over with..
And everything that's dropped is without fail just beyond reach leading to scrabbling of fingers and a lot of old man grunting.
And oddly, I have to keep forcing myself to drink enough water, when I was young I'd get thirsty and drown myself in squash, nowadays it's a chore?
A couple of years ago, when I was 53, one of the young whippersnappers in the office asked me how I was keeping? That made feel old.
Really struggle with concentrating on more than one thing at once now, also.
And the daydreaming/nostalgia (had to look nostalgia up - couldn’t remember the word for looking back) seems to be more frequent.
My wife would like us to go on a cruise this year. I am deeply worried I’ll be trapped with old people.
You could the youngest person (other than your wife?) in the room. That would be a nice feeling for a change. 😄
1)My pubes are getting a bit threadbare.
2)Aches and pains that just won't heal.
2)Lying reading on the sofa has become my default setting.I just don't like sitting in chairs anymore.
Anyway,I,m just about to start the sofa to 50k challenge. It's that or arrive in spring as a fat mess !
Anyway,I,m just about to start the sofa to 50k challenge.
I found the 5k pretty easy and the 10k not too bad either, but I'm buggered if I'm gonna run 50k
chakaping,it's for cycling mate.Its on the British Cycling website.
I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been.
Socks! I still refuse to sit down to put my socks on/take them off. The day I do is the day I've given up. (Probably next week)
TBH I don't recognise any of the symptoms here, other than a little more ear hair. I guess I've maybe become a little more risk averse but I've always had periods of that when I've not been doing the "risky" thing for a while and need to renew my limits.
Oh, 65 this year.
Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…
Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….
I thought that was a test for dehydration?
on my last honeymoon
A phrase full of foreboding...
TBH I don’t recognise any of the symptoms here, other than a little more ear hair.
Yes. My sharting performance is still pretty much the same as several decades ago.
I thought that was a test for dehydration?
Might affect it as well, but do it on an old person (like 80+) and you can make a cup of tea before the fold of skin smooths back over..
Loss of collagen apparently.
57 not doing to badly,
lose of urge to get things done in one sitting
Often put things in the wrong place when my mrs is in the same room as shes so distracting
With regards to “falls” I think between 55 and 75 these are officially* classed as “tumbles” as you can still roll with it a bit and curse loudly. After 75 they are falls as it’s down with a thump and a small strangled cry.
*officially, a definition made by me and my mate in the pub!
stwhannah
To be fair, on my last honeymoon I got terrible food poisoning and was very very ill. Even a reduction in sharting would likely make for an improvement. I should probably start a new thread for the forum to pick over wedding and honeymoon plans with its own special brand of cynicism.
TBH the phrase "On my last honeymoon" did have a sense of "This time it will be all good" and I hope Big Kev has some Imodium ready just in case 😀
Yep I think a lets have a laugh about wedding day cockups & honeymoon traumas thread could be quite the relief for a gloomy Jan/Feb day 🙂
On falls - I would say its the difference between have a good reason for the fall and just falling for no good reason
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..
Just the one?
55 and 75 these are officially* classed as “tumbles” as you can still roll with it a bit and curse loudly.
An unexpected consequence of aging is that this seems to be the year when I get lumped in with 75 year olds. **** off, will you!
Aches and pains where there never used to be any was the sign I was no longer a whipper snapper. This has only been reinforced by a physio diagnosis last night following an ache in my neck that got progressivly worse. Pain spread from my neck to my shoulder, left arm and numbness in the hand. Turns out it is arthritis in the neck, a result of years of road riding/racing from a young age. 58 this year.
I'm much more content now in my mid-50s than I was at any point in my 40s, not sure if that is a consequence of aging or just moving on from a very manic busy period of work life and having a young family on my hands at the same time! I am also now getting out and about on my bike much more...
That's the first 30 minutes of my sofa to 50K done!😆🥳
When it comes to exercise, i seem to train fairly hard to not get any fitter, but to just maintain a stable level of mediocre.
That and at 47 years of age, i am finally contemplating a pair of slippers as all of a sudden our wooden floors at home have become really hard!
That and if you do fall of bike, you have to wiggle every part of your body and run a full systems check to make sure nothing hurts before you get up, i used to just spring up and wipe myself down..
Dammit. You lot win.
Food getting stuck in your teeth
@IdleJon - perhaps you need to meet me and my mate on one of our dog walks/pub crawls in the Matlock area. You could help us with our research into the theory of tumbles?
Lolz at Hannah,that shoehorn looks like it could be weaponised 😆 🤣
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..
TBH that’s an any age, always remember my mates funny story of one of his nuts popping out whilst he was sat down,in front of another mates mum who was taking his jeans up(she was a seamstress and the length of his jeans were bugging her).
Whenever I was there my only embarrassment was always caused by their jack russell shagging my leg.
That and at 47 years of age, i am finally contemplating a pair of slippers as all of a sudden our wooden floors at home have become really hard!
I just wear ‘sliders’ on our stone floors.
slippers are just meh, you’ll end up wanting to wear brown cardigans and brown nylon trousers that are one inch short.
@dudeofdoom - it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!
I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁
largely to annoy judgemental arseholes
You share your house with judgemental arseholes? Otherwise how do you make it known to judgemental arseholes what you are wearing around the house? I am intrigued.
I wear socks and sandals around the house
i just made my peace with Cougar, welcome brethren. Calvin Kline socks and Birkenstocks all the way to the TV remote.
Can someone explain , I dont get this one – is your cock changing colour? I dont think thats due to aging……
TBH I can’t remember the colour of mine 30 years ago, although Mrs DoD did have a good laugh at the colour it went on my last great off,had the matching nuts that time and couldn’t get my jeans on as they were so bruised 🙂
Another one. The after effects of Dad strength. When you have a 14yo ripped athletic son whose goal is to win against Dad strength one day, but you have to hide the fact that you urgently need to lie on the floor and straighten your back out and take the pain away after he’s gone to bed.
I’m 45 next week and I can tick off far too many of the above points.
I’ve had 2 falls this last week, I slipped on ice and, well I won’t tell you the other thing I slipped and landed in, but I’m still scrubbing myself in bleach 4 days later. Due to this I ache all over and my knees that decided to give up last month hurt even more.
@dudeofdoom – it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!
Ah yes, I tend to wear the under armour or decathlon sports shorts if boxer day, baggy boxers aren’t much fun, pj’s used to cause me the most nut crunch.
I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh 🙂
I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁
just socks and sandals 🙂
Food getting stuck in your teeth
Teeth getting stuck in your food.
I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh
Is that like a Stannah so they don't catch on the stairs?
I'm 58, so Yes to most of the above, apart from shoe horns and discoloured wedding tackle!
I actually put slippers on my Christmas wish list this year. Nobody got me any 😟
Although I've been wearing North Face quilted tent mules for years as pseudo slippers. In the (probably mistaken) hope that they are somehow less uncool than full-on tartan grandad slippers.
scrotal lift
Is that something you get from Machine Mart?
Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…
Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….
FFS! Just tried this and it was about three seconds. I’ve drunk about fifty gallons of coffee today though so I’m blaming that.
Bought some Hugh Heffner style pyjamas from M&S (Modal Cyberjammies). And very comfortable they are too. The fact that they are desirable seems to be an indication of advancing age. Indoor footwear is a pair of Birkenstock slippers. Wool outer, cork insoles, rubber sole. Even the kids want a pair now!
Is that like a Stannah so they don’t catch on the stairs
Ah funny(dark humour) story of unintended consequences of a stannah.
One of my mums relatives/acquaintances was bought one by her family as a gift as she was getting on and the stairs must have been a problem, anyway did nothing bout moan about it and just used it for moving the ironing upstairs until the day she tripped over it and fell down the stairs and then moaned no more 🙁
So the moral in the tale is don’t look a gift stannah in the mouth 🙂
Is that something you get from Machine Mart?
I think the day I had to invest in a creeper was the day I realised this aging things bad news,at the age of 30 just chucking the carpet on the floor wasn’t going to be a thing anymore.
If I’m going away, the ‘essentials’ I pack now have this at the top of the list…
Since I turned 50 my previous cast iron and asbestos-lined guts have been wreaking a terrible revenge for all those years of abuse
I tend to have a yogurt if I eat spicey, but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?
Well apart from having a heart attack 🙁
but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?
It is for me. I’m 52 now and I’ve only had it the last couple of years. I bloody love spicy food but it now involves waking at 3am (probably for my third wee of the night) feeling like I’ve been gargling battery acid. It doesn’t stop me tucking into the jalapeño’s but I have the Gaviscon waiting within easy reach for the inevitable