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Absolutely lost it. Went into a complete rage at them. Essentially 15 years of pent up frustration with them all came out in one go. I'm embarrassed that I lost it so badly but I don't feel bad, in fact glad that I finally told them what I thought and how awful they have made our lives. I think having our first baby has made me feel quite protective as I don't want them to do to him what they have done to me.
It ended with slammed doors and storming away. Not sure what the fall-out from this will be. My wife is obviously upset but very much in support of me. She just hasn't had the confidence to ever give them a piece of her mind so I've done it for her.
I think my final words as I left were "I despise you both. I've always despised you both. You are evil personified!"
Flounced off...
I think my final words as I left were "I despise you both. I've always despised you both. You are evil personified!"
Disappointing lack of profanity. 6/10.
more. and pics.
You got your tea first though, eh?
You got your tea first though, eh?
Well, he's certainly not getting any pudding.
If it's been that long and your life has been made that miserable by it all (Christ knows what they've been doing though) it's probably best that you've finally got it off you chest so you can get on with the rest of your life afresh.
It's hard to make any real judgements on your actions though as I'm guessing that none of us here know what problems you've faced.
Should have gone with (nsfw)
.
.
Also NO PUDDING!!!
You got your tea first though, eh?
If he did, he's not getting pudding.
Ffs,beaten to it
what happens now?
Who cares what happens now, I can't be the only person who absolutely needs to know what's gone on before, now can I?
Not exactly a statement you can come back from that, still if it was warranted, I'm sure you'll feel all the better for getting it out there!
PUNY INLAWS!
Did it put them off their fish and chips?
And having previously told my mother in law that she was one of the shitest mothers I'd ever met, I can confirm that you've absolutely got your work cut out pulling that one back.
Fair play to you. My inlaws have been a nightmare from day one, they continually make my wife's life hell. I have held my tongue this long, but I imagine having children will also force a change of approach...
Wouldn't they let you use the TV remote control ?
Well, it's been more about the treatment of my wife than anything. She is the youngest of three and they show no interest in he at all - didn't even come to our wedding because mum 'had a cold!'
They have this really spiteful passive aggressive approach with us. Constantly pecking away and trying to casually point out our failings and out short falls. Combine that with the fact they are a pair of upper middle class snobs with a disdain for the poor, other nationalities - People who are not white British in fact, single mums and immigrants, they are a pretty poisonous couple of people.
When our son was born they quickly pointed out to me that though he's lovely ' first grandchildren are are always the most special' in relation to the fact my wife's sister had two boys just 3 years previously.
I hate them.
There's really no going back from that is there?
I feel sorry for you if it's been 15 years of hell. i think you've probably burned your bridges though. What will your wife do now that it's revealed that her husband despises her parents?
Makes me glad i get on with mine even if they are a bit bonkers...
Had something similar in my life about 18mths ago.
My mum & dad, although not evil like your inlaws sound, made a conceous decision to treat me differently to my two brothers, and now my kids differently to their cousins. Basically, as I have managed to keep a stable family life without divorce or debt I am deemed to be not as requiring of their attention as my two brothers and their kids.
After 38yrs of it I flipped when I found they had made the 250mls each way trip to the town I lived in, looked after my brothers kids for a week and buggered off home without even calling us to let us know they were in the area.
I cut them off. Told them it wasn't normal and I wanted nothing more to do with them. I am used to disappointment but my kids wont be dragged into it. Anyhowm we see them at family doos and are civil but I haven't spoken to either my mum or dad in any other capacity since.
I have made it clear through brothers that if they wish to see their grankids it would be encouraged but I am not interested in having any relationship with them.
The last 18mths have been the best I have felt about my mother and father in 38yrs. Gone are the 'I wish' and 'if only'. Now I know where I stand and its so much calmer.
My advice would be to forget about it. If they are so evil, trust me they will not change and will probably be talking about your unreasonable behaviour to justify their spite. Get on with things and if they want to make amends let them, otherwise move on
Evil personified is a bit harsh though - they're ****s, not Pol Pot.
TBH you sound as if you're better off without them in your life.
They sound delightful, nothing lost here my man.
🙂
sorry,couldn't help myself 😳
I hate them.
From what you say up there ^, that seems pretty reasonable to me. I'd feel the same.
Perhaps they will go away and have a think on it.
Perhaps send them a card?
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This won't help, but it's always worth remembering people are product of their experiences. I'm always in disagreement with my family - they don't see things like I do but I have to reconcile this with my first point. However it doesn't stop them winding me up!
You have a choice; bite your lip and know you're the smarter person or walk-away. Sounds like you've made your choice.
When our son was born they quickly pointed out to me that though he's lovely ' first grandchildren are are always the most special' in relation to the fact my wife's sister had two boys just 3 years previously.
Pair of bastards. Looks like they've now seen the consequences of their behaviour. Good for you I reckon.
[i]When our son was born they quickly pointed out to me that though he's lovely ' first grandchildren are are always the most special' [/i]
Wow. I HATE THEM TOO. Bastards.
You are evil personified!
wohhhhhhhhhhhh
go you 🙂
O/P best thing youve ever done, youve cleared your system of all that pent up annoyance for them,
I do feel better for it but I just regret it came to this. In hind sight I should have just retaliated to the comments and things they has said at the time they said them but I've always just bit my lip. Plus i'm not very good at the snidey passive aggressive approach.
Trust me, thegreatape said they will have seen the censequences of their behaviour. No they wont!!! They will be using this as further justification to all the spite they have directed at you for years.
Move on and you will find out how much they want to be in your lives. My parents haven't made a single effort and they don't sound half as bad as your inlaws
Flounced off...
Hulk never flounces. Ever.
But good on you. Your priorities begin and end with your immediate family i.e wife and kids. Do what's best for them.
It only came to this because you've risen above it for 15 years.
Trust me, thegreatape said they will have seen the censequences of their behaviour. No they wont!!! They will be using this as further justification to all the spite they have directed at you for years.
I meant 'seen it' in the literal sense, rather than had some sort of awakening 🙂
Also, I should point out that they aren't some ancient frail old couple in case any one thinks i've laid into a couple of poor old dears. They are only 60 and 62 and fully aware of just how cruel they have been.
Blimey....makes me feel very lucky to have such great in-laws! 😯
Still, you know what [url= http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oscarwilde106767.html ]Oscar Wilde[/url] said, eh?
I can just imagine what they're saying now. This is all your fault. They've tried numerous times with you and they always knew that you didn't want to part of their family. Etc etc blah blah. They've no intention of running to you cap in hand.
They sound horrible.
I'm sure you know this but now it's time to really support your wife and talk it all through because she will probably find it hard going for the foreseeable future. It's an awful position to be in but as someone said up there at least you know now where you stand. No more hoping and waiting. I have very little to do with my MIL. We all get on a lot better than we used to but my wife hasn't spoken to her stupid sister for almost 3 years.
Arr ****em and get on with your life(s)
life's too short to carry other peoples baggage.
I'm gonna stop moaning about my MIL now!!
Good on you OP but it's probably knackered you for babysitting!!
Coorrrrr Blimey. 😯
Stand Your Ground Young Man, stand your ground.
You have a family of your own to consider, their health and well being is in your hands.
Life will only get better form here on in, which ever way it deviates.
I despise you both. I've always despised you both. You are evil personified!
no swearing?
I'm impressed that you manage to be so eloquent in a moment of rage, I generally make no sense whatsoever
Just wait for the knife twisting and be prepared. I'm way down on the list compared to my sister where my parents or concerned.
It's made me completely independent and a better person.
Ya, we have very evil people in the form of people from my sister's husband family.
I would feed them to big Nile river salty (crocs) any day and to see the Nile salty do the death roll on them. That would be spectacular the lot of them and I would be very happy sitting there to watch them screams while I eat my bucket of pop corn or KFC and sipping a big glass of Pepsi like in the cinema. They are the scum of this earth and I mean it. 😡
Alternatively they should be impaled alive like those carried out by Vlad the Impaler. I would than stand next to them taking selfie while sipping my Pepsi.
I am taking about a family of evil people. Very evil.
Hulk never flounces. Ever.
Yeah but the police would take a dim view of him grabbing them and bouncing them off the walls a few times.
Speshpaul and Klunk + 1
And you call them evil? Anyone who feels the need to takes selfies are beyond that 😉I would than stand next to them taking selfie
I would feed them to big Nile river salty (crocs) any day and to see the Nile salty do the death roll on them. That would be spectacular the lot of them and I would be very happy sitting there to watch them screams while I eat my bucket of pop corn or KFC and sipping a big glass of Pepsi like in the cinema
You are Idi Amin and I claim my £5.
I'm amazed at your ability to be civil to them even after this TBHDidn't come to our wedding
Life's too short to be filled with chimp-knobbers like that...... nice one.
[i]Life's too short to be filled with chimp-knobbers like that[/i]
yeah but...
They're your wife's parents. OP, You need to support your wife now, it's sort of OK that you don't like them, but ultimately she has a completely different relationship to them than you.
Hope it works out
From my limited experience - families are the biggest cause of conflict/arguments.
Easier to just stop associating with people you discover you don`t like. With families, you just grin and bare it ...
nickc - Member
They're your wife's parents
That's the major problem for most people due to the relationship established via wife/husband/sister/brother etc ...
They become "part of the family". The matter would be easier to deal with if they are strangers and due to the relationship everything becomes much too complicated.
As for my sister she would have to divorce my bro-in-law but with children that's difficult especially with no income source ... again, they told her not to work etc ...
mooman - MemberFrom my limited experience - families are the biggest cause of conflict/arguments.
Easier to just stop associating with people you discover you don`t like. With families, you just grin and bare it ...
Spot on!
A few years ago, I had a revelation, an epiphany even.
Life is too short to have arseholes in it.
Evicting from my life people who added nothing and took everything is not a decision I've ever regretted. You've done the right thing I reckon.
With families, you just grin and bare it ...
Kinky.
I meant to say to my MiL "Great to see you, will you be stopping for tea?"
But it came out as "You're an awful human being, you've ruined everyone's lives"
Hmmm. Lots of statements here about better off out of your life, you have done the right thing etc. This all sounds great but the thing is, this is really about you.
You really need to go with what your wife wants here. It is not really your place to say she is out of your life if your wife still wants her in her life. I know you said she is supportive of you and hopefully that continues, but she has the potential to be stuck in the middle of a really tough situation.
A friend of mine recently slapped his mother in law accross the face. You might think that is inexcusable but then you have probably never met her....
Life is too short to have arseholes in it.Evicting from my life people who added nothing and took everything is not a decision I've ever regretted. You've done the right thing I reckon.
Totally agree with that sentiment. I just wish i'd realised it much earlier in life.
I have no intention of interfering with my wife's relationship with her parents, nor have any impact on their relationship with their grandson, but i'm not going to allow them to cause further anguish to my wife and especially my little boy.
At the very least, I hope they have now understood that I won't tolerate it, even if it means them thinking i'm a bit of a short tempered nut job.
Did similar with my parents 14 years ago. After years of being treated like sh**, I finaly snapped. Not spoken to them since, but my life is much better as a result.
They were/are idiots.
I support you taking a stand OP and expressing yourself, and I sympathise with having crap inlaws, but I feel like I need to make a point here - I'm not criticising you, just sharing an observation:
They have this really spiteful passive aggressive approach with us.
I've found over the years that sometimes people are this way because they've been brought up that way. If you're born into a family who are always competing with each other subtly and trying to score points their whole lives, then they don't know anything else. They think that life is a competition and your opponents are to be put down.
Just something to consider.
They think that life is a competition and your opponents are to be put down.
they would fit in nicely here.
Life is too short to have arseholes in it.Evicting from my life people who added nothing and took everything is not a decision I've ever regretted.
Possible the best statement I have ever read on here, and very apt.
^^^ What Cougar said
I'd be relieved it's done with and can keep away from them.
I would be very happy sitting there to watch them screams while I eat my bucket of pop corn or KFC and sipping a big glass of Pepsi like in the cinema. They are the scum of this earth and I mean it.
Alternatively they should be impaled alive like those carried out by Vlad the Impaler. I would than stand next to them taking selfie while sipping my Pepsi.
Other brands of cola are available.
bones - Member
Other brands of cola are available.
I prefer Pepsi. 
I do try "green" Coke (the one with stevia sugar) only as second choice.
😆
Had a major falling out with my MIL earlier this year when my mother was staying.
My inlaws are amazing people, and are hugely helpful, but it is all on their terms. Well, it came out and came out in a big way - my OH screaming at her mum to leave our house could be heard throughout the village.
My mum hasn't visited since (in fact we haven't seen her since) and I'm not 100% sure what will happen between her and my OH when she does next weekend.
I apologised to everyone for my part in it. I figured taking responsibility for saying hurtful things (however much I may have believed in them) was still the right thing to do.
I feel for you OP. Stand by your wife and do as someone my OH works with - whenever her inlaws visit, she makes sure she is in another town. Even if that means missing a day of the weekend with her own children (her in-laws do sound very like yours).
talking about your unreasonable behaviour to justify their spite
so true of narcissists
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