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Inspired by a colleague (a distant relation of Winston Churchill and Diana, apparently) whose own life is an absolute disaster. Here's my pitch for the TV commissioning guys.
Title:
[b]Oiks in Genes[/b]
Concept:
Each episode, our presenter (Tony Robinson, perhaps, but that's your call) leads viewers to the grave of a famous and accomplished public figure.
Cut to:
A lesser known TV presenter (suggestion: Julia Bradbury) is in the studio with six desperate cases. Each desperate case is invited to describe all the follies they have committed in their life. The precarious state of their finances and relationships is raked over (audience laughs).
Cut back to:
Tony Robinson, whose Time Team is exhuming the famous and accomplished public figure.
Once bones are identified, Tony introduces well-known clairvoyant/magician (Dereen Brown, I'm thinking).
Dead celebrity is brought back to life.
Tony chats to public figure (cue laughs, pathos and empathy).
Tony invites public figure to studio, where Julia Bradbury and her desperate cases await.
Cut to: game show format:
Dead public figure is told one of the desperate cases is his/her distant relation. Tony and Julia invite public figure to guess which. Each contestant can only be asked three questions.
Episode ends with public figure discovering the identity of his distant relation.
Face palm ensues.
Audience laughs.
Julia and Dereen wrap up the show.
Dead public figure asks to be taken back to his/her 'nice warm and dark place'.
Roll credits
Sounds awesome.
My dad has done some extensive research into my mum's side of the family. I'm related by marriage to coward and big ship owner J Bruce Ismay and very very distantly by blood to Winston Churchill and therfore Lady Di. That would explain why I could never manage a mucky thought about her.
Say hello to your colleague for me. We're cousins!
Dead celebrity is brought back to life.
Might be quite a big budget show.
Might be quite a big budget show.
Agreed. It'll take vision, commitment and a wealthy financial nutter on board to get this thing off the ground. I think it's worth it, though.
Think about it. Oiks in Genes could revolutionise the celebrity TV panel show format.
Perhaps they could just do the head. Contestants get to take it home in a jar.
A relative of John Belushi could have this on his book case.
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Kurt Cobain's would look less groovy next to your TV though.
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Lady Di. That would explain why I could never manage a mucky thought about her.
No no, there's far more obvious reasons for that.
Agreed. It'll take vision, commitment and a [b]wealthy financial nutter[/b] on board to get this thing off the ground. I think it's worth it, though.
Sound like you need to get Simon Cowell on the job. I understand he does game show these days although he might insist on Ant and Dec fronting it which might ruin an otherwise tip top concept.
Kurt Cobain's would look less groovy next to your TV though.
😆
I volunteer to be amongst the first round contestants, by the way.
I have it on good evidence (my mum told me) that I'm a distant relative of George Canning. And he was Prime Minister for a whole 119 days...
I can see the face palm now.
8)
Limited interest?
Fair enough.
Back to my mass-market concept:
Title:
[b]Boobies 'n' Bikerz [/b]
Concept:
Loads of rad, sick, gnarly stunts, interspersed with soft focus cleavage shots.
Nuff said.
Sounds like something Alan Partridge or Adrian Mole would pitch...
Topless model railways?
Okay, I've got this one as a fall back. It's a surefire winner only to be used in the eventuality that the TV execs don't go for 'Oiks in Genes' or 'Boobies 'n' Bikerz'.
Title:
[b]Goats in Moats[/b]
Concept:
Update of One Man and his Dog: expert shepherds compete to see how many goats they can drive into a moat. Goats that jump out again don't count. Only two dogs allowed per contestant.
TV gold.
8)
Like it. The winner could get this in a jar.
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Excellent work!
It's also my intention to pitch a '[b]Recommend me...[/b]' section, which could be included as a mini-section within any of the above three concepts.
The idea is that some random fella/lass asks complete strangers from the audience to recommend an important lifestyle accessory for his/her life. Once all the advice is in, the suggestions are aggregated a la 'Ask the Audience' on Millionaire and the random fella/lass is obliged to take the suggestion and buy the tool/lifestyle commodity that has the most votes.
Is there any way that could work?
I've got a better idea. "Who Do We Think You Are".
Ah heck, just realised thats just been done by CH5 but under the title of Celebrity Big Brother.
I'm a distant relative of George Canning. And he was Prime Minister for a whole 119 days...
To be fair to your ancestor, he was a much better Foreign Minister than Prime Minister...or marksman.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Canning
@konabunny:
Thanks for bigging up my ancestor.
I'm pretty pleased to have him, don't get me wrong. It's just that, well, in the list of prime ministers you'd like to whom you'd like to be related, he's a long way off the top.
EDIT: But way higher than any of the recent crop, of course.
According to "Who does my dad think he is" I'm distantly related to Sooty...
My great gran's brother married one of Harry Ramsden's (of chip shop fame) daughters. Harry Corbett is the son of one of his other daughters 🙂
I suspect Sooty would be unimpressed - facepalming may prove too tricky for his little arms...
I suspect Sooty would be unimpressed - facepalming may prove too tricky for his little arms...
Would love to see him try though!
😯
More ideas:
[b]Let's Hunt and Kill Justin Fletcher from CBeebies[/b]
(no explanation necessary)
or...
[b]Monks in Trunks[/b]
(a Miss World style event, designed to inspire a religious revival/fraternal fitness)
[b]Nuns with Guns?[/b]
Sorting out crime then confessing and getting away with it. Includes saucy nun on nun action.
I'm fairly certain camo16 is Alan Partridge.
(In the best possible way)
Nuns with Guns?Sorting out crime then confessing and getting away with it. Includes saucy nun on nun action.
Sounds like you want to watch "Nude nunns with big guns"
Guys,
All the above are good ideas, but my new concept beats them all.
Title:
Ninja Badgers
Concept:
Ninja badgers kick ass.
Working on ninja names for a badger family now.
Also, I'm trying to work out who the bad guys should be. Any ideas?