[Closed] "Toms Schooldays" . . . . . Horror stories from your school days please?

Double post!

Surely you need to start us off...

Tom's post from the other thread:

I dont know, at the comp I used to go to that would have resulted in "Thats a good idea, miss" - followed by a brick going through the window. This was a school where one bus full of kids on an old red double decker, got a broom out from somewhere on the bus... stuck it out the window and smacked a copper with it as they drove past. The whole bus then denied having anything to do with it and blamed it on the driver. The entire year was then hauled into detention in the assembly hall, whereby no one single person uttered a word and when they did - they changed their story and blamed it on a kid who had two broken arms.... the teachers were told that he had used his mouth to hold a broom out the window. They then reduced the deputy head to tears. I distinctly remember some of them even lighting up, in the assembly hall.

That school, to this day, feels like something out of Apocalypse Now or Heart of Darkness.

My school was an all boys Grammar School so nothing really of note happened that I can describe as horror stories.
But a friend of my parents was a teacher in Birmingham in the late 70s and she had a nervous breakdown after being attacked by a pupil with a knife.

people from my year (names have been changed)

John Smith - once spent a lunchtime stealing all the board rubbers. A genius scheme, since it meant the entire school ground to a halt 5 minutes after lunch as no-one could clear the boards. He was caught with a rucksack full of board rubbers not long after. Later did 2 years porridge for credit card fraud.
John Smith2 - got expelled for fashioning a knife in CDT and attacking someone with it. Joined the army at 16, had been sent down for GBH by 18
John Smith3 - was always a bit of a tearaway, got suspended all the time, once tried to steal my mate's bike but gave it back when he realised it was someone from his class. Nothing personal. These days he follows a strict n+1 approach, where n is a short prison sentence for a relatively minor crime
John Smith4 - got a smack habit almost immediately after school. Sent down for murder soon after

this, I should point out, was a pleasant middle-class comp in a leafy market town. God knows what the schools on the other side of town were like. Although come to think of it, John Smith 4 had been expelled from those schools and that's why he ended up at ours

[i]"Toms Schooldays" . . . . . Horror stories from your school days please?[/i]

I missed the day they did possessive nouns.

rural comphrensive.

john smith 1 - drowned in a slurry pit.
john smith 2 - crushed by tractor.
john smith 3 - suffocated in grain silo.

you get the picture...

My school came joint 5th on the league table of Scottish schools with the most exclusions for fighting, assaulting staff and carrying weapons.

In junior school a class mate of mine came into class in a neck brace as he had crashed a sierra while joy riding

I went to a reasonable school in a nice area, I wouldn't say it had a drug problem, but everyone was good at their 15× table 😯

My peers decided the best way to get an A on their CDT project work was to use the arc welder to "lock" the metalwork teacher in his store cupboard. He was in there for an hour before he broke down and promised them their grades (wasn't exam related anyway). Given he had no idea exactly who was involved and that it happened at all, he never reported it.

Drugs was the only significant thing at mine and even then it was only ever cannabis. The Headmaster had a very head-in-the-sand approach to it - no kids at his classy private school would ever be so naughty type of attitude but the fact is most of the kids were rich enough to afford drugs without a problem.

There was an entertaining fight once where Kid1 demanded some dope off Kid2 who said no, they got into a massive fight and both got hauled up for it. Kid2 still had the dope on him, he claimed Kid1 was beating him up for it. Kid1 came up with the inspired line that he knew drugs were bad and he was trying to take them off Kid2 in order to protect the other children from having drugs sold to them.

Quite astonishingly that line was bought.
Kid1 went on to a life of GBH, drug dealing and jail sentences.

There was a small area of woods outside the back gate of my school. It's where all the fights were arranged, snogging etc.
One day walking up to school through the woods, this kid in the year below me was frightening girls, they were screaming and running away. He turned and I glimpsed a massive, pink, erect penis poking out of his trousers. Couldn't believe how well endowed this kid was! Bloody scared me it did. Only (years, I think) later did I realise it wasn't his actual penis.

A teacher at my school had some serious anger management issues.

He punched a 14 year old boy in the face for walking to far to the right in the main corridor. He was walking the other way and just lashed out. He was moved on somewhere else after that.

The 70s were good times for sadists.

I had a latin teacher who was somewhere in between Mr Creosote & Hitler - with the anger management skills of a pissed off Honey Badger....

A total ****.

I hope he's rotting somewhere in his own filth.

A boy at my school once climbed over the fence into the field of wheat behind the school and ran through it.

One time there was rumour going round that someone had laid the biggest poo known to human kind in one of the further, less used traps in the building.

About ten of us all immediately went to verify the reports. And there it was. The largest piece of faeces I've ever seen. A group of boys stand with the jaws open in disbelief. A brown snake, thick as a tree trunk, comes winding to the top of the toilet. This was not mere poopie, this was art, meticulously considered in its approach.

I've travelled the world, I've seen art in The Louvre, I've shaken hands with Prime Minsters and Presidents, but nothing has come close to the awe of that poo.

We had a technical teacher called "Big Al" who, if he caught you pratting about in his class would take you into an empty class room and give you the option of writing out a shedload of lines or letting him whack you across the legs with a wooden metre stick.

This was long after any form of corporal punishment was outlawed in schools and, looking back, he was just a bullying sadist.

On the one occasion that I was offered this difficult choice and, being a smart arse even in my early teens, I opined that I would absolutely prefer the stick but cautioned him to be extremely careful as, if he left any identifiable marks, I would have no option but to admit to my parents what had happened and that my father, an extremely large but short tempered man, prone to unexpected bursts of violence, would undoubtedly seek retribution.

This last bit was utter bullshit, fabricated by me on the spot but he decided to let me off with a warning not to do it again and I left the room unpunished and astonished.

We had a teacher who was completley jaded with her career choice, was a awful teacher and was so disinterested in being there; this was like the smell of blood to lower set french. We started out with silly thingsd like turning all the desks facing the back of the room and claim 'they were like that when we got here'. Or leaving sweets, which had be pre licked, on the desk and she would no doubt eat the lot.

She used to leave the room a lot - to smoke in the non smoking teachers room.A game developed of throwing things to/at each other at the back of the class. It started small but developed a set of 'rules' and became the highlight of french lessons. At some point it seemed a good idea to set fire to the ball we were throwing so a tennic ball sprayed in lynx (africa no doubt, this was the 90s) and on fire was being thrown about at the back of the class whilst miss was writing on the board! 😯 I eventually got moved up a set - nothing to do with her teaching - and it got worse!

My BILs class convinced the teacher to stand in the bin whilst they all threw rubbish in the bin/ at him.

Kids can obviosuly smell weakness!

We were sent to a very minor public school due to the fact that the local schools were far from ideal and tended to burn down each year in the last week of the summer holiday. Reasons: Middlesbrough.

So, we ended up with a headmaster who was an alcoholic paedophile, who one night went into the boys rooms and interfered with them, before packing everything into a car and running away with his wife. He was sectioned before the trial and was detained in an institution thereafter. Luckily I wasn't a boarder, so he was just a bit spanky with me.

Tony Rhodes (real name) joined our school 3rd year and he was 'known' by the teachers having come from a young offenders institute (IIRC).

He was walked into our metalwork lesson and Mr Dent (no, really, Mr Dent taught metalwork) said 'what's your name boy'?

He replied 'Tony Rhodes'

Mr Dent then shouted 'what about Sir'?

Tony Rhodes said 'Sorry, Sir Tony Rhodes' and gained instant Hero status.

He went on to do a great many things such as lighting the gas coming straight out of a bunsen burner nozzle and punching a teacher (for which he was expelled).

We egged our deputy head master once at his house.
By we, I mean almost the entire year, about 250 pupils.

blimey. Don't think can match most/any of that.

Will try.
End of 6th year pranks:
1/ previous year had taken a tailor's dummy to top of 6/7 storey tower block, thrown it off roof. Some teachers on levels 2 - 4 got a shock, nothing compared to the librarian, whose skylight it fell through.
2/ our year, one of the prefects awaited behind the curtain for end of year assembly, at crucial moment swept back curtain, swept back his duffel coat to expose himself. Head boy in on the deal, so managed to impede the teachers and headmaster, culprit (who was wearing a mask but his own duffel coat) escaped through tech dept. and left on his mate's LC250 as pillion and shot off. Never actually properly disciplined.
3/ part of someone's SYS Physics experiment was airgun related. Another pupil, Des, got hold of this air rifle, on Physics floor so that was level 2 or 4, opened window and took potshots at the football match in progress., Hence his nickname Des the Jackal..

I'm ashamed to admit we gave a teacher a heart attack (she survived luckily).

The teacher in question was rubbish and used to punish everyone in the class for no reason. Anyway, one day we got a monumental bo**ocking for some minor misdemeanor like getting a differential equation wrong before being kicked out for break time. During the break she left the window open so we all decided it would be a laugh to climb through (the classroom was on the first floor too!) and sit at our desks. When she unlocked and opened the door to the whole class just sat there she screamed and keeled over.

We did do first aid until the ambulance arrived which sort of balanced out the guilt a bit.

We had a very large Bayou (Creek) behind the school, used for swimming and sailing and pontoon jumping, snogging and just kicking our heals.
Always, every semester before break we'd have the same old narrative about the Bayou being "full of Gaters, full of Southern Copperheads, Highland Moccasin, Chunkheads (all poisonous snakes), mactans, variolus, (all black widows) or the really nasty red widows"
And every semester upon return we'd sit in assembly listening to the names of the kids that either drowned, been bitten and hospitalised, bitten and dead, Gator attacked.. and not once did it stop any of us mucking about in the water.

Then there were the Frat parties. Once a very large french door got caved in when we decided to play sofa surfing on the tile floor and careered arms and legs waving into the pains.. and the drink, spiked moonshine which was available from the elder kids who all had 4x4's and girlfriends who looked like Daisy Duke, the music systems so loud I'm sure Cape Canaveral could hear us. Stupid older kids taking parents cars for spin outs and the inevitable crashes.. and these were Station Wagons of epic proportions (Buick Vistas and the like, so God knows how or why you nick a barge)

Then the agriculture vehicles, massive combines and ploughs we used to clamber and drive all over, then there was the worst which me and my mate Randy created... we set fire to an almighty Corn field.. we were just down by a creek having nicked some sugar beet and thrown it on a makeshift fire (like we'd done a million times before) and all of a sudden a massive gust of wind flicked the flames into the field and it roared and roared and I'm pretty sure 20 acres went up in about 2 mins.. I got bollocked proper for that and parents split me and Randy up for almost 6mths.. geeze.. we were only 12/13...

Generally though, we were well behaved.

Oh there were some end-of-year pranks obviously.

Someone nicked a temporary bus stop sign, very neatly dug up the centre of the cricket pitch, put the sign in there and then relaid the turf (again, very neatly). The culprit was never caught.

And someone once nicked a jar of potassium from chemistry stroes, poured off the protective oil coating and threw the lot into the toilet. The toilet seat ended up embedded in the ceiling. Chemical stores had a lock put on the door after that.

Our just qualified science teacher getting a class of 2nd years to find the boiling point of meths by yes you've got it boiling beakers of meths over Bunsen burners was quite an eye opener to the fallibility of teachers - can still hear the bellow of the head of dept "turn those Bunsen's out" when young teacher went into the staff room and explained why he needed more meths..

Kids wise, I think a 3rd year making high explosive and blowing up a tree was the highlight, special assembly was called & referred to as pupil X - he also dyed his parents patio pink

teacher knocked out with a stool, following a discussion about putting a mod fishtail jacket in the cloakroom and a refusal as all the badges would get nicked

Lots of home made shuriken in CDT getting used in fights with other schools

we accidentally sort stabbed someone through the face with scissors when he missed the catch down the stairwell *dont ask*

one of the "hard men" got sent down for mugging someone then throwing them off the city walls in chester

lots of drugs

we learned how to make explosives early so there were lots of things that went boom on a regular basis **

** given the propensity to make things that go bang remotely, thank god it was in the 80's not in today's surveillance society as there would be an awful lot of folks having to spend time at Her Majesties pleasure for what were basically youthful antics.

I think just basically a normal school in the 80's from talking to others. A mix of psychos, pervy teachers, sadistic buggers, bullying, geeks, suicides and drugs

• We used to pour meths all over the long science benches then light it.
Didn't burn for very long, but the effect was great - and always a treat for supply teachers!

• When dissecting frogs and eyes and stuff - the odd scalpel was 'accidentally' dropped from the 3rd floor windows.

And anyone's bag that was left near a window was launched out too (you had to wrap it around your chair to avoid this fate!).

• My brother also branded another kid in metalwork. The other child was winding him up so my brother took the metal rod he had in the furnace and put it on the back of the other kids neck. This was in the 70s so he only got a stern telling off and put on report!

End of 6th form saw us fill until overflowing our head of 6th's Landrover discovery with bean bag filling/expanded polystyrene balls through the open sunroof.

I imagine he is still finding the things closing on twenty years later.

He turned and I glimpsed a massive, pink, erect penis poking out of his trousers.

Don't flatter yourself. It was only hanging out.

The emergency window on a bus once got pushed from the top deck onto the deputy heads car.

The DT department used get regularly emptied of tools for inter school fights.

A school football match once descended into a mass brawl involving about 100 students.

Two days before fathers day teacher says we are making fathers day cards today. I must have been about 7. What shall I do miss (my father had died when I was two). Oh you can do Maths instead.

Added 1 to every answer I did in Maths for the next month until my mum had to have a meeting with the school to find out why I was so difficult. Funnily enough they never asked me.

perchypanther - Member
My school came joint 5th on the league table of Scottish schools with the most exclusions for fighting, assaulting staff and carrying weapons.

Ours was second worst in Manchester, just behind Spurley Hey in Gorton.

One young entrepreneur, Simon Solvent, a test pilot for evostick, had a business nicking Porsches to order from Ringway.

Caught with his moon faced sidekick, Muffin, in a sting on the Arndale carpark whilst liberating a planted 944.

I think just basically a normal school in the 80's from talking to others. A mix of psychos, pervy teachers, sadistic buggers, bullying, geeks, suicides and drugs.

No suicides and little bullying, but we had an openly heroin abusing Chemistry teacher, lost the most beautiful girl in our final year to heroin, the first of many.

Amazingly dodgy games teacher.

Three of my friends became fathers in the fifth year.

Some unbelievably abused and damaged kids - obvious signs of abuse ignored, kids repeatedly coming into school, or leaving it, battered, usually by an adult.

As I say, little bullying amongst the inmates, more of a spirit of solidarity.
🙂
The biggest lads in our year were nice guys and tended to have even bigger brothers .
Little in the way of cliques.

Couple of genuine psychopaths, a little light arson.

Someone once burnt down our science block, replacement cost was millions.

given the propensity to make things that go bang remotely, thank god it was in the 80's not in today's surveillance society as there would be an awful lot of folks having to spend time at Her Majesties pleasure for what were basically youthful antics.

Yep, we made 2,4 DNPH in chemistry, and left it collected on filter papers to be safely disposed of under pain of I don't know what (it's OK when damp, but detonates when dry)

Except for the kid that thought it'd be a laugh to take it home on the bus. Back then he got a stern telling off, nowadays he'd have been shot by the bomb squad.

I also remember Eddie, whose family owned the chinese takeaway and fish and chip shop near school. We had a combined cadet force at school which we were all in, and on one weekend exercise someone managed to douse him in fuel due to incorrect use of a Trangia or similar which then promptly went up with a bloody great whoosh. Unbelievably because it had been so cold and wet he was wearing almost all the clothing he owned which was all sodden, and as a result it was just the fuel that went up and he emerged from this potentially life threatening situation with mild eyebrow singeing. We had all shit ourselves obviously, but not enough that he wasn't nicknamed Napalm Eddie for the rest of his time at school.

We had a paedo maths teacher who very matter of factly explained how at the weekend (whilst being in the St Johns Ambulance) he'd attended a call to visit an old lady who hadn't been seen for a while. He then graphically described how her dog had gotten hungry and had started to eat her. He then calmly turned to the black board and began simultaneous equations... Later struck off for paying too much attention to the lower years getting changed after sports.

Another pervy teacher got arrested at the same Grammar school. That was quite exciting and everyone knew within minutes that King Rollo had been handcuffed and lead away.

Kelsey hit Adam Milton with a cricket bat (full swing, on purpose, to the head, for no apparent reason) and got expelled.

We made our Geography teacher cry on a school field trip to Swanage. All 17 kids were swaying in the back of a Transit and making it slew all over the motorway. He was weak and everyone could smell blood. Thinning curly ginger hair, mid thirties, glasses, a bit of a lisp, terrible suit. What did he expect? I look back now and think what a bunch of bastards we were and how we probably gave him a nervous breakdown. How we survived that motorway journey I'll never know. Sorry Mr Stock.

A kid who was in my class is now the Headmaster at the same boys grammar school. Unfortunately I have two girls, so won't be able to give him any grief...

Mr Smith introduced himself to the metalwork class by saying

"I'm Mr Smith but if anyone messes around in my class they'll have to meet Thomas Tickler" 😯

He then went into the store room and returned with 'thomas' a 3 foot length of black rubber hose which he smacked across a workbench with a sound like a thunder clap...

one boy snigered and he hit him across the back of his legs..... no one ever messed around in that class...

Don't flatter yourself. It was only hanging out.

Eh?

Our local secondry had a typical 1970's built setup. Its crowning glory was a 4 story block which housed the science dept on the 1st floor and then history, geography and finally languages.

Lad in my year decided it would be a good idea one night to go to the local petrol station. Buy a gallon of petrol and set it on fire. He didn't just burn the class room (Science). He burnt the entire 4 story building to the ground.

I lived about 1/2mile from the school and remember my mum waking me up to see the biggest bonfire ever.

Lad was caught and did time in young offenders institute. He was caught on cctv buying the petrol 🙂

That one caused a few YEARS of disruption for 1000's of kids.

I feel quite guilty about this one, but we had a geography teacher who had a habit of leaning on his filing cabinet - one day we moved it a foot to the left, he missed the cabinet, and knocked himself out on the wall.

I can't think of anything to match some of these stories, but awesome thread.

We had a combined cadet force at school which we were all in

CCF at our school too.

Kids from the local comp - mostly from the wrong side of the tracks in Peckham and Brixton – used to pop over to our playing fields every once in a while, just vandalise the squash courts that sort of thing. They happened to do this one CCF day and the School Serjeant, fed up with these incursions, grabbed 4 of the 6th Form Army Cadets, all in their combat jackets, issued them with an SA80 each from the school armoury and marched out across the fields to confront them. Unsurprisingly, the kids decided they were no longer interested in graffiti-ing the squash courts and scarpered but the Serjeant bellowed “YOU BOYS!” STOP OR WE’LL OPEN FIRE!”. Surrounded by his armed guards (the rifles weren’t loaded but the kids didn’t know that) he then delivered the mother of all bollockings and we never had any problems from them after that.

I suspect if that happened now, the School Serjeant would be looking at a court appearance for threatening to shoot kids. Back then he just went up in everyone’s estimation.

issued them with an SA80 each from the school armoury

😯

If we'd had a school armoury with assualt rifles maybe we could have made 2nd or 3rd place in the league table.

Potassium Permanganate in the pool was a regular end of term jape.
The occasional bomb made out of sour milk bags & fireworks another.
Hiding the teachers cars by bouncing them out of their space & behind a building.
Jumping off the 1st floor gym balcony onto a load of mattresses.
Raiding the cheese & wine party - we were 12.
Being chased across the roofs of the school in the dark.

It's a long list!

😆

We had a rather dim (but nice) science teacher who we always convinced to let us tidy his cupboard at the end of term. Of course we only did this so we could raid it of magnesium, potassium, basically anything that could be used to make explosives.

He went on to do a great many things such as lighting the gas coming straight out of a bunsen burner nozzle

who didn’t do that?

just remembered, we also had a thing in the 6thform affectionately known as jon the mould. It had started off when one of the lads had a dump in a jar that was going to thrown at one of the girls, then decided against it and said dump was left in a little warm corner. Over time it went furry and had things added to it, peoples lunch, old yoghurt, banana skins etc... It grew until it had big fury tendrils that reached out the jar and down the sides. Every year it was passed on the next sacred keeper of Jon, who had to feed it and keep it secret until the next keeper was found. considering what was in it and how long it had been cultivating it was remarkably odour free in its little corner under some shelves in the cloakroom..

....until someone knocked it over when feeding it. What followed can only be described as coming from the very arse of Beelzebub himself and caused spontaneous vomiting and evacuation of not only the 6th form block but over half of the adjoining school.

Also in the same common room there were complaints that the coffee and tea from the vending machine were a bit "off" upon inspection it was discovered that one of leaving students had left a massive skiddy filled pair of undercrakers in the water tank 😀

My record for being sent to the year head was three times in a day (which then triggered a trip up to the school head).

1 - Sliding a piece of marble up and down the main school corridor (also marble, and marble on marble slides beautifully) which resulted in a glass door being smashed.

2 - setting off a fire extinguisher in a temporary classroom's cloakroom. We couldn't get it to switch off so jammed the nozzle with chewing gum. At the end of the lesson we went out to find a cloakroom flooded with water.

3 - throwing a condom full of water at the school matron as she was sat in her office eating her lunch (no idea why I did that – I had nothing against her at all, she was lovely).

I went to an ‘interesting’ school in the late 80’s early 90’s. Here is a taster of the stuff that happened in just our final year.
1) All the gas taps lit, bye bye Science lab.
2) Two teachers fighting in the ‘quad’ (broken up by third teacher who sparked them both out).
3) One of these fighters subsequently had a News of the World expose on him due to him sleeping with half the 6th form.
4) Teacher on French skiing trip beat the carp out of three French lads.
5) School window smashing completion leading to arrests.
6) Major came to visit and someone stole the little bonnet flags from his car.
7) At least four arson attempts.
8) Two stabbings by one lad with a chisel
9) One stabbing by a lad with a knife
10) Someone (not me, no) got a copy of the school master key. I had better not elaborate on that.
11) DOCs were E’s/LSD and weed, in retrospect the school had a bit of a problem.

perchypanther - Member

If we'd had a school armoury with assualt rifles maybe we could have made 2nd or 3rd place in the league table.

Have you suggested this to the Scottish F.A?

Local Tesco caught fire over the weekend when I was in 4th year, went into school Monday and everyone was saying it was Jamie and Darren. Another dick from another school was mentioned.
They had set light to a wheelie bin which they spread to the wooden fascia of the newsagents and then the attached supermarket

Darren and the other dick were scared of Jamie and he was a pains to point out he didn't do it but at other times was boasting about it. The other two went on trial at the Old bailey but wriggled out of it on a technicality.

One teacher really sticks out. he'd been a trainee at Glasgow Rangers but never made it I think because of injury and ended up teaching in a Kent sinkhole.
1) School football match after school, I was first changed. The decent leather match ball was kept in this massive cupboard in the office of the gym, I opened the door without knocking to see one of the teacher with his trousers round his ankles taping a binliner to his waist. I grabbed the ball and bolted.
He came along to play in the warm up and I noticed his tracky bottoms had a massive wet patch, me a naive 14 YO though he must have pissed himself but now realise he'd done it to sweat off a bit of weight.

2) He'd bite himself really hard in particular on the fingers. I watched himn once in our Careers lesson staring out the window and biting his knuckles and back of his fingers very hard. Another time ha walked past me in the corridor and then as we passed I looked round and he was gnawing at his wrist.

3) School trip to Chessington for one of the years below me, story goes he got pissed and fell asleep on the coach coming back, the kids were throwing little balls of paper in his mouth and he woke up and assaulted a couple of them. this was the end of the school year and after an investigation he was promoted to head of year.

My brothers mate got expelled and came back in and broke the jaw of the deputy head, one punch which was amazing as he was a skinny little bugger.

As far as I know I went to school with 2 murderers.

Once glance at my username will affirm that I was at primary school during the late 1970s/early 1980s. The primary school in question was situated in rural East Anglia, with an ex-army headmaster who is (still, but he's probably going to die very soon) a respected member of the community.

However, he had it in for me.

Firstly, I'm dyspraxic and had a harder time than most with physical co-ordination and balance. We had weekly country dancing classes and an unequal number of boys and girls, so the extra boys had to wear a yellow lanyard, become a girl for the class and relearn the steps.

Every single week, I was hit across the backside for "not paying attention".

Secondly, at the age of eight I was involved in an out of school dispute with another lad, which escalated when the other boy's father made an allegation to the police that his son been hit by an adult relative of mine. I only found out when the police turned up to tell us that the boy's father had subsequently broke down and admitted that he'd made a false allegation when police tried to corroborate the story with two witnesses who'd been present at the time. That didn't stop our headmaster dragging me into his office for what can only be described as a military style interrogation which lasted for two hours. I think I endured three of these shouting sessions from him, over the course of the fortnight. I was absolutely terrified and unable to understand what I'd done wrong.

Thirdly, our school had a new sports hall built with a short corridor linking to the main school building, separated by two glass doors...bear with me, you can obviously see where this is going.

Anyway, on the day in question, the glass doors had yet to be fitted into the frames. Everyone spent their lunch break running through the frame and out into the playground. Anyway, just as lessons concluded, a lad dared me to run through the frame and I refused, so he belted down the corridor and was most surprised when his nose made contact with a solid glass surface (the door was installed just after lunch, apparently). The glass shattered into large shards, the boy in question merely turned by 180 degrees and ran out of the school, blood streaming from his nose.

No-one had thought to place a warning sticker on a large non-safety glass door placed in a primary school. Someone would've been sacked for this oversight, had our deputy head not driven straight to the boy's house and promised him immunity from punishment if his parents agreed to not make a fuss.

One young entrepreneur, Simon Solvent, a test pilot for evostick, had a business nicking Porsches to order from Ringway.

We had a kid who stole to order. Stopped doing it after hospitalising himself after panicing when a policecar drove by him and he accelerated rather than braked and drove into a shop front.

Teacher wise at junior school we had the random violence guy (tore a kids ear so badly dragging him up the stairs for some imagined infraction he needed stitches) and the molester (used to feel up the girls when they were at his desk, stroking their legs if they wore skirts) and a couple of generic bullies.

Secondary school was better, we still had a pervert (lots of shirts and skins and watching boys in the showers to "make sure you got washed") but we had a certifiable chem teacher who let us make "indoor" fireworks if we finished our work off quickly. He made nitroglycerine with one class a few years above us but it earned him a visit from the constabulary so "fun" pyrotechnics were the only thing he made with us.

Ok, so at my school there was:

Nine underage pregnancies (that I know of) during my time there - a couple were to lads of the girls' own ages (in one case, one girl had an abortion because her boyfriend said he'd leave her if she didn't, he ditched her the day after), most were fathered by blokes in their mid-20s to mid-30s. Grooming of teenage girls by blokes 10-20 years older was pretty common.

Quite a few teenage neo-Nazis, who would tippex Swaztikas, 88 and Combat 18 onto their bags. As the town was overwhelmingly white, they'd kick the crap out of anyone who was different - nerds, metalheads, etc.One kicked a baby rabbit to death on the school field, he was later done for attempted murder and arson (he set fire to a corner shop with the Asian family in the flat above, they all survived).

A young teacher who was forced out of the profession by his students being cruel little shits.

Several drug taking lads who exchange packets during physics, one became a murderer, another died of an overdose.

A music teacher with anger management issues - he broke a filing cabinet by punching it when a lad (the aforementioned racist arsonist) lit up a cigarette in class and swore at him.

A CDT teacher who was blatantly a pervert, all the girls knew not to be around him alone.

One lad was really angry and vicious, a complete bully. Turned out years later that his dad had died when he was younger, and hid mom was dying of cancer - he never told anyone. He actually turned out to be a nice bloke as an adult!

Cambridge University's 1958 car on roof prank secrets revealed

[url= http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2210696/Cambridge-Universitys-1958-car-on-roof-prank-secrets-revealed.html ]Linky[/url]

[i]Grooming of teenage girls by blokes 10-20 years older was pretty common.[/i]

At 14 my mate and I sat there while Linda from our class told how she and her 2 friends used to wander up and down the dual-carriageway getting picked up and shagged by older blokes. Being the naive, didn't know what a dildo was type, I was utterly stunned and disgusted. A conversation etched into my memory 100s* of years later 😡

*feels like it anyway

Our RE teacher once held a boy out of a first floor window by his ankles.

Our maths teacher used his martial arts skills after a kid threw a desk and chair at him. Up until that point everyone viewed the teacher as a bit of an old hippy but after that word got around and he got a lot less grief. He also got in trouble for taking the entire maths class to the AV room to watch films as a bit of a treat once a term.

A girl in my class managed to crack her skull on a lamppost by hanging off the handrail on the back of a bus. She made a full recovery and was one of only two kids from that year to go to Uni (I'd guess there were about 250-300 kids per year, so she did well)

A boy in a different class ended up in a constant vegetative state by diving into the shallow end of a swimming pool.

A teacher had his Fiat 500 turned around and positioned an alleyway so it only had inches between the front/back of the vehicle and the walls. it wasn't there the next day so no harm done.

Various classrooms/buildings were set alight, only once severely though and on that occasion it put 4 classrooms out of action for the best part of a year..

A PE teacher challenged a boy of (I guess) 14 to a boxing match at lunchtime for being disruptive. The teacher took it very seriously and gave him an absolute battering in the name of sport. looking back that really should have been reported.

Playing murderball at break time my mate got three in a row which meant an extra hard beating and that also coincided with the last touch before the end of break which also required a more severe beating. He was still unconscious on the playground when were were a good few minutes into the next lesson and a teacher spotted him out of the window.

One kid had read something about pheromones and entirely got the wrong end of the stick. He wouldn't shower for weeks at a time and would run everywhere to get a sweat on because he was convinced this would make him irresistible to girls. Despite evidence to the contrary he kept this up for quite a long time.

Of the half a dozen school pregnancies the only notable one caused the father of the child to barely utter another word in public from the middle of the 4th year until he left school. Best part of two years no one heard him utter much more than a grunt.

One of my group of friends had the same lunch everyday for 5 years; egg, chips, beans, Italiano ice cream and a carton of milk.

A lot of the kids that received lunch tokens used to sell them for less than face value (obvs) so they could have the cash instead. If you liked the canteen food you could eat at a 15-20% discount by utilising this service.

First school in Scotland to have CCTV. Bus monitors to try and avert the number of pregnancies caused on the bus trip, mainly to Valleyfield. Mass fights. Baseball bats banned, cricket banned as was anything that could be a weapon. I'd say 25% of my class are either dead or in the clink.

When my Brother was in the 6th form of highschool, him and some mates had to do a 6th form assembly.

Their chosen topic........Masturbation!

It included using a Dildo as a blackboard pointer...

I don't know how they didn't get expelled. It was the talk of the school for a good while

Can't believe some of the stuff that went on at your schools. 😯

I went to a bog-standard secondary school in Devon and the most exciting thing that I can remember happening is a kid being gaffer-taped to the top of a lamppost. He was a knob though so I don't think anyone got punished.

Health and safety was fairly lax though, I was in the theatre technical crew and we used to mess around with massively heavy equipment at the top of a 25ft A-frame ladder. I don't think anyone ever fell off and I think the only rule was that someone had to stand on the bottom step.

The whole thing was relaxed to the extreme. I did all the lighting for the sixth-form performing arts projects and at one point had the keys and alarm code to the whole school in my possession.

There was an awesome trip to France, though. Can distinctly remember the teacher pointing out that the drinking age in France was lower than the UK and that while they'd have to confiscate alcohol if they saw us with it, there were "lots of bars" and they'd be "in that one".

There was a limestone quarry the other side of the (small) hill from my school and when they were blasting the whole school would shake. I can clearly remember seeing a large lump of rock sailing vertically into the air and back into the quarry but we also quite regularly found smaller bits (big enough to injure you if they landed on you) in the playground.

In a French lesson with a notoriously crap teacher (met him on the Severn Valley Railway about 15 years ago and he's a retired vicar now...) one kid climbed out of the first floor window, walked along the window sill and, after a delay while someone initially refused to open the window, climbed back in at the other end and went back to his desk. The teacher studiously writing on the blackboard throughout - he must have known.

Science block burnt down after someone put a lit splint in the waste bin.

https://staffslive.co.uk/2014/12/body-man-29-found-tunstall-bench/

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fugitive-prisoner-froze-death-pond-4322214

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/staffordshire/7083623.stm

http://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/longton-thug-30-beat-up-276622

Just a few of the people that I went to school with.....I don't look back on my 5 years at high school with much fondness.

I went to a school on a British Army base in Germany. On occasions we had armed soldiers wandering around the playground.

There wasn't much trouble.

Jeeze.. that’s some illuminati 😆

I used to be horrified by the French teacher who used to thrust his groin into the desk as he was marking our efforts.
& bandaging "kenzie's" fingers after a particularly brutal fight . They had been bitten to the bone . 🙁

GCSE end of exams party at my history teacher's house. All the other teachers there, along with a load of 16 year olds loaded up with booze and drugs. Cue lots of snogging/shagging/vomiting and lots of extremely nervous teachers worried about getting the sack. Actually that's not a horror story, it was bloody brilliant! 🙂

On the horror side I remember it was fairly common in my first school (5-9 years old) for girls to be dragged into the boys toilets and stripped/sexually assaulted. I swear I never took part, but was there on occasion when it happened. 😯 And people wonder why sexual abuse and mysogyny is endemic?

Well I'm glad my post amused some people. Other stories hey? Be patient, I wrote this on my phone so its a bit crap.

Okay, we had an art trip to Florence, the group of girls on the trip were actually quite nice and middle class. Anyway - the book ys were comrprised of an assorted mix of weirdos, stoners and sociopaths, the idiot teachers basically let every kid who sat at the back of the class with a shit eating smirk on their face... along. Anyway, 4 of us find ouselves in a hotel room overlooking the Santa Croce square.

[img] [/img]

Anyway, within five minutes we'd heckled some hippies out the window for weed. We giffied down some lead piping, as were were doing this we said hello to some blonde Australian girls in the room below of our own age. Once onto the street we picked up said weed and bought cheap wine from a small shop. Anyhow, over the next several days we obtained a shitty air rifle, weed, cocaine, alcohol, porn, knives, a blow up sex doll and a gigantic dildo. Imagine the scene, 24 degrees in May in Florence - some of the boys had convinced a girl on the trip to get her clothes off. Now keep in mind that some of them had watched Platoon a week before flying out, so some of them had now gotten into bands like the Rolling Stones.

Well, this culminated in a teacher walking in at just the right time to catch two boys trying to smoke weed out of the barrel of a gun, one boy fooling around with said naked girl and the others were glugging bottles of wine. All to the hilariously apt tune of "Sympathy for the Devil".

Anyway, we got hauled downstairs to get bollocked. They brought in the boxes of contraband and asked "Do you know what is in these boxes?" - well of ****ing course you cretins. But one lad got up and started pulling stuff out - "This appears to be a. 177 calibre firearm, sir"..... "This appears to be bondage porn, sir. I assume this was Petes". I cracked up completely and spent about 10 minutes laughing at everything that was said. At about the same tine, one of the female teachers who I think was traumatised by the realisation of just how depraved 14 year old boys are.... burst into tears.

Remains silent.

Luckily I got away with most of that, as the ones who were caught were in a different room. By the time they searched ours we had got wind of it and managed to dump most of the contraband.

I can't think of anything to match the stories on this thread but I do remember our infant school teacher Mrs Battison (Batterson?) who regularly used to bend kids over her knee and whack their backsides for minor misdemeanours in front of the whole school at assembly.

Thats more ****ed up than the rest of them Vicky!

Pretty tame in comparison, and not technically at school as it was a part time job at a supermarket, but we knew most of our colleagues from school...

Someone had moved an old ice cream freezer out to the warehouse yard, presumed broken. It was ignored but over winter it filled with rain water, and once the weather warmed up it was noticed that it was developing its own unique odour. Over the next few months it was fed with out of date dairy products and the glass lids closed to make the most of the sun. At the end of the summer it was rancid with god knows what growing in it...you had to open it with a broom and let it ventilate before going too close. Eventually a rep turned up to replace the freezer, but when he saw it he apparently 'struck us off' and for years afterwards our rather large supermarket did not have any decent ice creams much to the dismay of the customers. We all had to make do with the smaller multi-packs...and also the smell in the yard as the unit was overturned in the yard and hosing down the concrete did nothing to get rid of the odour!

Plenty more excitement at that place, more than school anyway. There were two older ring leaders who spent most of their time up to no good so us part timers used to get caught up in it. Throwing old fruit and veg into the chiller fans in one of the temporary freezers, pallet truck and Z cage races, 'working' the entire delivery of fruit and veg on Sunday mornings so the produce department was stacked head high and we could spend the morning eating a massive fryup, filling wheelie bins with water so they couldn't be moved, and firing rows of cages off the loading bay ramp.

Along with the usual genuine accidents, the 'overloaded cage of wine under a doorway and turning over' happened about once a year. I came close to causing a major incident after knocking a 500ml aerosol of cooking oil into the deep fat fryer, luckily it bounced around the vat of oil and I was able to flick it away, but I imagine it would have exploded within seconds and covered the coffee shop and half the checkouts in oil...bit scary that one, enough for me to rearrange the equipment so the fried egg machine and its oil was not alongside the fryer!

Rural comprehensive. So we had Mr halls who used to get the girls to do hand stands at the front of class. He was a maths teacher.

Mr leppard who was an ace teacher and really nice guy, but sadly went down for embezzlement to feed his epic gambling problem.

Mr ratcliffe who had to have an ambulance called out after showing the sixth form chemistry class the wrong way of smelling ether.

And an art teacher who I can't remember her name who used to sunbathe topless in the school fields at break time.

Oh and the music teacher who left his wife and shacked up with one of the pupils a couple of years after she left school. (Rumours were it didn't start after she left)

As for kids. Mixed bag. Someone got shot in the face with an air rifle. There were fights, drugs etc all seemed normal to be honest.

There was Moakes. He was a legend. Lovely guy, totally nuts. Stole all the wheels from some guys xr2 leaving it on bricks one night. Could bunny hop a metre on a BMX. Bungee jumped from a tree using inner tubes. Developed a shocking drug habit but fit through it. Sadly died from cancer last year at 42.

perchypanther - Member
issued them with an SA80 each from the school armoury

If we'd had a school armoury with assualt rifles maybe we could have made 2nd or 3rd place in the league table.

Sounds like what the film "IF" was based on

Sounds like what the film "IF" was based on

Filmed at a shitty school, I should add.

One of my overriding memories of school was the headmaster's daughter. 😈

My 4th year Christmas dance ended up on the front page of the Daily Record newspaper for “POSH SCHOOL GOES ON ALCHOPOP BINGE”. A complete fabrication as a) it was a normal state school and b) it wasn’t alochopops....

ended up on the front page

Yep. We had a lot of that!

"POSH TOFFS IN DRUGZ SHOCKA!" etc. At one point, the reporters were in town asking for tips and offering £20s. I made up some bullshit, took the £20 and headed to the pub. With the aforementioned headmaster's daughter, IIRC.