[Closed] Toms first work days, your early work experiences

As an apprentice I nearly got sacked for teaching people that electrolytic capacitors connected reverse polarity become electrosplitic capacitors.

I dropped a 500Kg voltage regulator off the crane spilling hundreds of litres of oil on the flooring and nearly squashing a fellow apprentice.

I destroyed whilst testing, a customers prototype 1MW plasma arc furnace thyristor rectifier on my first solo job with the service and despair dept.

I got a job as a flexographic printer when I left school, was quite good at it, was a dawdle to be honest, ended up running 6 colour machines after a few months on my own. One day I was cleaning the rollers and the rag got caught, in went my hand after it. I canny only thank my lucky stars that it was the UV roller I was cleaning at the time, would probably have lost my hand if not arm if it had been the actual print rollers, solid steel v rubber, I know which I preferred. Keeked my drawers that day though!

Crushed a couple of fingers and split one right open, could actually see the white tendons, think that's what they were anyhow, so had to get that sowed up. still don't have full feeling in the middle bit of that finger.

I was cleaning the rollers the wrong way, just being too cocky most likely. It was a boring job anyhow, so I left and went to college months after that, I lasted a year. Could have stayed as they didn't want me to leave, but while the machine setting up was reasonably interesting, even that was routine after a bit, actually running a million copies of some carton or something for aulds bakery or calder millerfield, was dull as dishwater, so I binned it.

Best thing about that job, was running about in the fork lift trucks getting the big massive rolls of paper down.

First week on patient transport service, carrying a little old lady up some steps on the carry chair when my mate at the top of the chair got my attention and invited me to look down...

The patient had a necrotic leg (more like mummified, never seen one like it on a live person since) her toe had caught on my shirt and had fallen off and was now attached, by the curly nail to my shirt.

To this day, the only part of the human body I can't tolerate is toe nails.

Chap i knew got a job as a trial trainee manager at a well know multi store chain, on his first day in store, he was told to tidy up the displays, bring cans to the front of shelf, etc,he felt hungry and helped himself to a multi pack of crisps, caught eating them by the manager,and told not to come back.

While working at the steelworks a new graduate manager was told to measure the outside circumference of the blast furnace, with a tape measure, he got a tape measure from the stores, placed one end under a brick and proceeded to walk around getting soaked from the continuous water jacket than ran down the outside as inside it got up to 1600 degrees f, so he decided to switch the water off by turning the water off valve off, walked back up to the gantry and his tape measure was melted to the stell plate of the furnace, followed by multiple alarms going off to indicate a water failure and serious risk of a burn through, he didnt stay long after that and it cost many thousnads to rebrick the blast furnace

My first job was for a Big 4 Audit/Accountancy organisation and my first assignment was to an SME in Telford who weren’t doing particularly well due to the recession (the late 80’s/ early 90’s one, but there have been a few so I thought I’d clear that up) I was told, just a simple assignment I thought..

First week was all about scoping out the current financial position, then dig deeper.. the directors were very helpful, seemed to think I was some sort of magician but my remit was to get the figures then submit to my Boss to be valued. The Directors took me out to lunch every day, I met there families, went out with one of thier daughters to a s****y party near Hampton Load in some Manor House on some massive estate.. anyway third week in and my Boss called around and I gave him the rundown, the figures and the financial statements as asked.
... my next assignment was handed to me and I left.
On my last day a Director before I left handed me a large A4 envelope, as he did so he said “this is for your help” and winked..
As I sat in the car wondering what was in the envelope when one of the daughters (the other one) came out and kissed me.. so I’m sitting wondering just what the heck is going on so I opened the envelope and there must have been about £2k in £20’s all neatly bundled in the old paper wrappers the Banks used to wrap them in..
I pulled into home and called my Boss, he came around sharpish and took the cash from me and told me not to come into the office until the following Monday..
So I turn up, get affronted by what looked like a Mafia style Mob and hauled into the boardroom..
The police entered the room and started asking me all sorts of questions and my Boss is pacing up and down outside..
So I shit myself and wonder what the hells going on, if I’ve even got a job now or am I going to prison..

Turned out one of the Directors was involved in some rather large property scam in Spain, along with some of his well connected family and friends and the business it seemed was a front to embezzle money...

I didn’t loose my job, but I know the business was shut down. A couple of years later one of the daughters came into my local pub and spotted me.. she sauntered over bold as brass and punched me smack bang on the nose and broke it.

As I stumbled outside pouring blood I watched as she drove off in a brand new Toyota Supra...

The next assignments were really bloody dull places with dust and spiders as companions and crappy old ledgers..

I wasn’t really sure what I’d been involved in but I certainly felt smack bang in the middle of it like some pawn that had been played against a Queen and a Bishop..

When I was a teenager doing my fitter/turner apprenticeship, we'd spent weeks filing, hacksawing, emery clothing and all the tedious bits you had to go through. It was finally time for a go on the lathe. So, the apprentice master has ten of us gathered around the lathe as he goes through the safety talk, no loose clothing, wear your safety specs etc etc. He then proceeds to tell us NEVER ever do this, left hand on the chuck key and reach over with your right to alter speeds or feeds in case you accidentally hit the start lever, he then demonstrates, catches the "on" lever, smashes his hand into the bed of the lathe, and chops off two fingers.
It was a helluva demonstration, I'll give him that, talk about above and beyond 😀

First day CEO took us out for sushi, sake and karaoke before any of them became common. Is it safe to eat raw fish??? Everyone got bladdered but only one failed to show next day. Poor show!!

One of the other apprentices swapped out a lathe chuck for a hefty 4 jaw one and forgot to tighten the bolts down. Then turned the lathe on at about 1000rpm and sent the chuck flying halfway across the workshop and leaving a foot-deep gouge in the floor.

Still sends shivers down my back thinking off it now. I think he finished the apprenticeship but left the company a year or so after, looking back I think the continuous ribbing he got for that and a dozen other mishaps drove him out the door.

I had a weekend job at a local firm making nail varnish remover. Spent most of my youth off my tits on Acetone...the lads I worked with moulded a young naive lad into the gimp I am today 8)

1st day at work in February 1972, my Dad (who never swore) dropped me off, I was only 15, & there's Billy Abbott who I'd known from school but was a bit older than me. I'm getting out of the car & Billy says, 'ahh Grainger ya little ****, wtf are you doing here'?
Dad just said, 'see you later'.

I was working with 1 other guy who was my foreman. 2 weeks after starting he went sick & I was in sole charge of a council vehicle repair workshop for a week, at 15!

Health & Safety my arse.

I had a job with Securicor for a short time as part of a cash in transit crew. Often paired up with Roy, the branch's special needs employee (I think), who was a very nice sort of ineloquent hobbit character, whose trousers defied even the most industrial braces, wasn't allowed to drive the vans anymore due to damaging too many customers buildings or vehicles, and who ate copious amounts of Bassetts Refreshers to minimise his dribbling. One day Roy managed to lose £500 because he took it into an Army base in his pocket, rather than the secure boxes we were supposed to use, on the grounds that "safackinarmybasemushnotgonnagetfackinrobbedereami". Got him the sack and me a final written warning, although thankfully he was later reinstated on appeal.

At the same place I fell victim to many pranks from a retired Sergeant Major Mick, such as axle grease smeared inside the brow of my helmet (not a euphemism), which I then wore for the rest of the day including while getting my lunch, to the fart in the secure box, which wafted out on opening it in the cash room at Tesco's with only me and the pretty manager within, and to a pair of enormous boobs cut out of the Sun sellotaped to the side of the box as I ambled through the middle of Bournemouth. I got him back by carefully cutting out some caps for a cap gun and mixing them in with his rolling tobacco, and watching with delight as his fag exploded as it reached his lips, in the middle of Portsmouth city centre.