[Closed] Tom Daly

I look forward to the day that this is not "news" and when someone's sexuality is simply not a topic that raises discussion. Good luck to him, no surprise surely - wonder if the comments, "but I still fancy girls" was necessary?

In this day and age, someone's sexual persuasion should be of no interest or relevance to anyone except the person concerned.

wonder if the comments, "but I still fancy girls" was necessary?

Because he's bisexual?

Possibly DD, but I also wonder if he was "advised" (sic) to say that for other reasons?

Good luck to him, no surprise surely - wonder if the comments, "but I still fancy girls" was necessary?

Probably doesn't want to lose the fan base of adoring girls he has built up?

[i]I look forward to the day that this is not "news" [/i]

Yeah, I read the post and thought 'Oh, so what'.

Trouble is, to those freaks who read Heat, Take A Break, OK!, Gracia etc etc this is NEWS!!!

Is it news?

I wonder what the DM's headlines will be in the morning 😆

It constantly surprises me that this sort of thing is still news. I don't care about his sexuality or whether he wants to share that part of his life with the general public. He can be gay or straight open or private he'd still be an exceptionally talented athlete wasting his time hosting a crap TV show.

Be on the Friday "Athletic & Aesthetic" thread this week, then. 😉

It's not news and why should it be. I think it's just to get the ball rolling again with promoting his dire TV show Splash.

I didn't know he wasn't out until I read this thread. I expect the "still fany girls" thing is to "keep selling calendars and other merchandise to girls"

The Premier league could really do with some openly gay players.

Its one of those its shame he feels he has to say something but good that no one really cares

Good for him. Not "newsworthy", but perfectly understandable to make a statement.

And the barrage of supportive comments are presumably somewhat helpful to plenty of young gay guys who haven't quite got around to coming out and are worried about it. 🙂

[i]The Premier league could really do with some openly gay players. [/i]

If only there were some footballers who spent huge amounts of time grooming themselves and driving about in open top sports cars.

edit: And jumping into big baths with loads of other blokes.

The Daily Mail is perfectly supportive.

A small number of BTL commentators are going with craigxxl's rather cynical suggestion that it's simply a form of attention-seeking, and a few others that he should be doing more diving and less bumming so as to get gold at Rio. But most people either don't care or are rather sweet. 🙂

I'm not really a follower on these things but yes I did think it was common knowledge that he's gay. As for who cares - well I guess lots of young ladies are now feeling disappointed - and lots of young men quite pleased.

I might as well come out and say that I am a ______sexual user of STW. Because you all wanted to know that, didn't you?

It isn't really "news" news but from my own experience it was really really important that successful and popular young people came out and openly defined themselves as gay. its a massive help if people like him can do this with support and confidence, cos unlike you lot, there are loads of people who are more than happy to bully or take the mick of gay people.

I think a openly gay footballer would be an amazing thing!!

teamhurtmore - Member

wonder if the comments, "but I still fancy girls" was necessary?

If he still wants to shag girls then yes, probably a good idea to make sure they don't all think he's strictly Men Only 😉

emsz - Member

I think a openly gay footballer would be an amazing thing!!

The precedent isn't great...

Indeed it shames the game.
There are a couple of openly gay players - an american one - played at leeds and a Scandinavian guy and no doubt some more.

I think the terrace abuse is the issue - look at what black players had to go through FFS - and why would you choose that amount of grief?
I doubt they are ashamed but I suspect the abuse would be shocking and at illegal levels...who knows though perhaps they would surprise us all?

I imagine there is an open secret amongst players though as they are fairly metrosexual these days

If he still wants to shag girls then yes, probably a good idea to make sure they don't all think he's strictly Men Only

Good point - I do think that its a bit silly that we still insist on pigeonholing people into the 100% gay/100% straight boxes.

I mean, its not as if Tom being in the closet was the biggest secret since Narnia, but perhaps most of us are a bit pansexual at heart

The Premier league could really do with some openly gay players.

What if its just that gay blokes have got better things to be doing with their time than playing football? 😉

Agree it's really not newsworthy, so howcome there's 22 posts and 19 people dicussing it on here? (23/20 now, and I'm obviously a big hippocrite!)

perhaps most of us are a bit pansexual at heart

Research would say 10 % ish so no where near most of us. There seems to be more lesbians than gay men currently- or more females having a lesbian experience at some point than men having a homosexual one.

Its on BBC 1 1 pm news FFS its not really news is it?
Ie we all knew and no one cares

One of my mates is trysexual. He reckons he's game for trying absolutely anything!

football audiences are only a microcosm of society in general. if the real reason for players not coming out is the fear of terrace abuse then i'd suggest that deep down, when anonymity is available, a higher percentage of society remain homophobic than we'd like to think.

One of my mates is trysexual. He reckons he's game for trying absolutely anything!

You just had to mention whora,didn't you?
🙂

trail monkey the EDL grew out of the football terraces. It is not the most enlightened aspect of humanity and i say this as some one who loves football and has spent years on them.

jy, i think you ought to re read the opening line of my post.

as a former season ticket holder and home and away game follower, my opinion is that football crowds merely reflect society in general. if they're not enlightened then neither is society.

It'll always be newsworthy so long as people don't feel that they can be open about it in the first place. Until that changes, as wrong as it is, it will be news when someone comes out.

I thought he came out a while ago ? Perhaps not. I'll watch the film statement sometime when I get the chance. For me it's a non-issue, best of luck to him.

@trailmonkey - I don't think football crowds reflect society in general, I'm quite happy about that.

This sort of thing is usually made into news by the person in question spending years denying it. As Tom Daley did.

Why should he even have to say his sexuality? Well done Tom but why is it anyones business either way.

I'm straight everybody. Hora is straight. WHY would anyone have to say it. **** em Tom, you've wrong-footed the media 😀

I don't think football crowds reflect society in general,

Why not?

I take it that you rarely, if ever, attend a match so how would you know?

trailmonkey seems to be in a much better position to comment.

Tom Daley coming out is "news" because he is a former World Champion athlete who has a bit of a "sex symbol" image. Personally I don't really care what he does with who but a lot of the people do.

This sort of thing is usually made into news by the person in question spending years denying it. As Tom Daley did.

Maybe he didn't realise he was gay (though the rest of us did), and he's just coming to terms with it. The fact that he's still going for half rice/half chips, would suggest that

Good luck to him. It must be a very difficult thing to deal with, without doing it in the media spotlight

It [I]shouldn't[/I] be news, but it is, we're not really that grown up yet (Collectively, as a society) that we can ignore sexual preferences. coming out is still a brave thing to do, and probably wasn't that easy for him, no doubt there will be some bullshit for him to contend with from the "Twittersphere".

Then again part of me thinks athletes should remain [I]'Just'[/I] athletes until they retire, then they can pursue a Media career, sticking oneself in the spotlight, courting publicity, hosting crap TV shows, none of that can actually be any good for your day job can it...

I wonder what the DM's headlines will be in the morning

Well there's a world of possibilities, I'd be shocked if at least one tabloid didn't manage to work [I]"Tom Gayley"[/I] into their coverage.

I expect the DM will be asking the important and insightful Questions like [I]"Can exposure to chlorine or wearing really tight speedo's make you Gay?"[/I]...

I think a openly gay footballer would be an amazing thing!!

I think you're giving the Press, followers and players of "The Beautiful Game" more credit that they really deserve there, it's still a pretty homophobic culture, whatever some might claim, coming out would more than likely mean the effective end of a player's career...
Coming out once retired from playing? Maybe but that could equally damage any coaching or punditry aspirations they might have...

It's not so simple as a brave first few taking a bold step and proving it's all good, any Gay current players will no doubt look at Justin Fashanu's fate, and just keep their sexuality under wraps...

I think a better statement would be;

[I]Living in a world where an openly Gay footballer was not a big deal for anyone, would be an amazing thing!! [/I]

[quote=gwj72 ]This sort of thing is usually made into news by the person in question spending years denying it. As Tom Daley did.

I thought he merely did not answer but why should he have to?
Why do I need to know the sexuality of any athlete?

TM a microcosm is meant to be reflective /encapsulates in miniature widely held beliefs; my argument is it does not.

You tend to attract morons to football sadly and it has a long tradition of violence, racism and homophobia.

I speak in general terms of course not all fans are like that.

Why should he even have to say his sexuality? Well done Tom but why is it anyones business either way.

It's no one's business, just as me liking scifi films is no one else's business but I've never felt the need or desire to keep it to myself.

The point is that while there's no reason that he or anyone else should be compelled to tell everyone, there's still cultural reasons why the question even comes up. So long as there's a reason to keep it quiet then it'll always be news.

Aye being young, having to be pressured/stressed to compete at the highest level, be confused AND worry what your family might think or strangers. Well done. I bet he feels alot of pressure lifted.

He doesn't have to say anything. He chooses to speak to the media because he gets paid shit loads of money for it - and likes to appeal to as bigger fan base as possible.

No doubt some other story is lurking that was going to out him so he's made the first move, given he was adamant just 3 months ago that he was not gay.

Personally couldn't give a hoot, just wish the "News" was actually newsworthy. I bet this guy feels like a dick though..

[url= http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/11/tom-daley-not-gay-reset-the-gaydar ]http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/11/tom-daley-not-gay-reset-the-gaydar[/url]

[quote=emsz]It isn't really "news" news but from my own experience it was really really important that successful and popular young people came out and openly defined themselves as gay.

Did he openly define himself as gay though? It seemed like a 50% sort of thing from the video; "I'm with a bloke now and it's changed my life... but I still like the ladies". Whilst the subtext is that he's finally found what he has been looking for in a partner, the words are somewhat mixed.

Lots of people are accepting of gay relationships, but loads and loads of people aren't. From family and friends to randoms on the street. I've had everything from abuse to being spat on. It may not feel like a big thing, to you guys reading about Tom, but trust me it feels like it at the time. There was a gay story line in Corrie a while back, it made SUCH a massive difference to how some people spoke to me. You wouldn't believe it, and to have properly famous people in Real Life say, I'm gay deal with it" is a massive help to people, not just guys and girls thinking about it, but everyone. The more it becomes open, there more it won't matter, but were def not there yet!!

I think Christiano Rohnaldo missed a trick really. My Gaydar isn't always the sharpest, but when you looked at him, did you think "Now there's a lad who likes to take a pride in his appearance, and to look after his personal grooming. And the pictures in the paper with the white speedos… well given his carefully manicured physique, what man wouldn't don the white speedos……"

And everyone gave him so much abuse anyway, which he used to thrive on, You'd think he might as well have just got it out in the open and made himself a bigger icon than Kylie

Theres only one man who Ronaldo wants to love and sleep with.

Himself.

I think that a gay footballer would be able to use it to their advantage after the initial cavemen getting it out of their system reaction. For a start other players probably would run a mile if he pretended to fancy them being as most pro-footballers are somewhat backwards. Could be quite useful for a forward.

[i] I bet this guy feels like a dick though..[/i]

You might wanna rephrase that... 😆

oops. spat my coffee out then!

I should read my posts back...

I think Christiano Rohnaldo missed a trick really.

I would wager he is gay but I think he is under a lot of pressure from his people and sponsors. If you think the UK is narrow minded there are lot of other Countries where things are a lot worse. If Nike or whoever think they are going to lose money then they make sure he keeps it under wraps.

Gay?
Well knock me down with a feather, that Freddie Mercury fooled me in the same way...

I would wager he is gay but I think he is under a lot of pressure from his people and sponsors. If you think the UK is narrow minded there are lot of other Countries where things are a lot worse. If Nike or whoever think they are going to lose money then they make sure he keeps it under wraps.

Let's be honest, if you're gay and trying to hide it, what better way than dating Irina Shayk, if he'd have been knocking about with Pam St Clement then I think the game would be up.

if you're gay and trying to hide it, what better way than dating Irina Shayk

Absolutely. No one would ever suspect.

The thing that seems really strange to me is that he had a son by a surrogate mother. Why, if you have such an urge to become a father would you do it that way? Not saying it's 100% but seems strange to me.

gwj72 - Member

This sort of thing is usually made into news by the person in question spending years denying it. As Tom Daley did.

Hang on, so he made it news by denying it... Did he just spontaneously tell everyone he wasn't gay or were people already making it a story? (hopefully obviously rhetorical!)

He was asked in interviews and came out and voluntarily made statements when rumours got out, that he was categorically NOT gay. As recently as September this year. Then I guess his management team changed tac and now he is.

My point is if he was just who he was and honest from the start it wouldn't be a story now. And he's still saying "of course I fancy girls" - of course you do Tom, especially the ones buying your 2014 Calender!!

I think it's just cynical manipulation of the press for his own means. Which he is entitled to do (f*ck the press) but lets not make him an OBE for doing it.

I'm still waiting for a bashing back doors comment now he's available to you guys

My point is if he was just who he was and honest from the start it wouldn't be a story now.

To be honest he needs to be asked in the first place as NW points out it is obvious what came first the question and not the answer

He did not make his sexuality a news story folk asking him did.

Non-story.

On the one hand, we've come a long way as a society in that he's able to "come out" without being stoned to death; on the other, the fact that it's news at all means we have a ways to go yet.

I guess lots of young ladies are now feeling disappointed

I never really understood that logic. Do they sit there going "oh, he's gay, now we'll never be together..."? I mean, when I was a teenager I fantasised about famous ladies as much as the next barrel of hormones and acne did, but don't recall ever seriously thinking "you know, I might be in with a chance there."

Ho hum.

It is completely and utterly unreasonable to tell a 19-year-old kid that he "should have been honest earlier" about his sexuality.

[i]My point is if he was just who he was and honest from the start it wouldn't be a story now[/i]

Honest about it from the start....right 🙄 #notreallylisteningmuch

Bigdummy +1

How old is he again?
Seems to me the limelight has made him have to confront this earlier than he might otherwise have wanted to or indeed needed to.

-of my four gay man friends (who all say they are totally gay ie definitely do not like the ladies at all. Anymore.) only one of them knew he was gay at Daly's age, one a bit later, one had girlfriend and a child, and one was married to a lady for several years. (FWIW the average age of realising/coming out amongst my lesbian friends and family is quite a bit lower. Not sure how that compares to the rest of the yookay though...)

Junkyard - lazarus

To be honest he needs to be asked in the first place as NW points out it is obvious what came first the question and not the answer

He did not make his sexuality a news story folk asking him did.

I don't follow. He has offered himself up as a celeb, clearly. His private life will be under scrutiny. He was asked if he was gay he said no. Rumor got out he really was so he made press releases denying it. Now he's posting to youtube saying he is after all.

He has as much of a part to play in making this a "story" than the press. To be fair to him he is probably just following some managers direction, but it is all just playing the game for most profit isn't it?

(Hi Emsz! *waves*)

Emsz: Nail, head.

I've had similar experiences to Emsz and still get an awful lot of pee-taking at work. Tom is only 19 so it is good for him to be out so young so he can go for who/what he wants instead of hiding.

Why hasn't Rossi come out?

He has offered himself up as a celeb, clearly.

C'mon, he was a child sensation, loads of media interest with even more attention once the story about his Dad became known. He hardly pushed it to get there.

Sure, he didn't shy away from the publicity that that gained, particularly more recently but it's unfair to characterise him as a fame-seeker, particularly not from the outset.

Besides, he's a pro athlete with a limited shelf life, working to be popular to help gain sponsorship or a career other than diving in a few years is hardly a sin, is it?

Anyone noticed his pink nail varnish on his toes as he prepares to take position to dive off the board on the ad for Splash?

Saw that and drew my own conclusions. Each to their own and all that though

Hmmm must paint my toenails pink. I reckon my daughter would like it.

Clubber - nothing was stopping him retraining and becoming a plumber after his athletic career! He chose the media/celeb route.

Funny this story surfaces the month before a new series of Splash when all the trailers are starting to be played. I know I am a cynic, but this has "Media strategist" written all over it.

I don't follow. He has offered himself up as a celeb, clearly. His private life will be under scrutiny. He was asked if he was gay he said no. Rumor got out he really was so he made press releases denying it. Now he's posting to youtube saying he is after all.

He has as much of a part to play in making this a "story" than the press. To be fair to him he is probably just following some managers direction, but it is all just playing the game for most profit isn't it?

You do realise he's 19, not some 50 year old in the closet Tory backbencher?

Seems to be a lot of covert homophobia in this thread. All the "Why does he have to say anything, can't he keep it to himself". Or another way of saying it, "It's fine to be gay, but don't wave it it my face."

nothing was stopping him retraining and becoming a plumber after his athletic career

Of course not but why should he just to try to hide his sexual preference? Besides, I doubt that telling the media that he was going to do that would have stopped them outing him and making a story. He was in the public eye already for the reasons outlined above and keeping his head down wasn't going to change that.

but this has "Media strategist" written all over it.

That's one option. Another is "media want to out person who is in the public eye"

I for one applaud the fact that he has become public on his sexuality.
As regards his career, he's taken his fame to make money as a tv celeb
Why the hell not?
Who wouldn't?
He can retrain to become a binman or whatever once he needs to.
Until then let him make a few quid.

We've come a long way since the 70s, when my parents wrote "bonny and blithe and hopefully not gay" under my date of birth in my baby book (I was born on a Sunday), but we're still not at a point where everyone feels able to be openly gay. The more high-profile people who are out, the better.

It shouldn't be a big issue, but it is.

What I find interesting in the uk is the stigma given to a gay person.
Let's be honest, who cares if you're gay or not these days?
The most important thing is if you're not an arsehole.
Some of the league of gentleman type villages however have intense homophobia. Where has all this hatred come from?

Where has all this hatred come from?

I blame religion.

*dives for cover

jaylovescats - Member

You do realise he's 19, not some 50 year old in the closet Tory backbencher?

Seems to be a lot of covert homophobia in this thread. All the "Why does he have to say anything, can't he keep it to himself". Or another way of saying it, "It's fine to be gay, but don't wave it it my face."

I might have guessed an accusation of homophobia would be along soon!

I don't give a monkeys about peoples sexual preference. I just think when someone says they are not gay and are looking for the right girl, when in fact they have been in a gay relationship for 6 months, I call that lying. I understand why he's lying (to make money), I don't feel any ill will toward him (the contrary as an olympian), I just think the outpouring of him being "brave" is a little unjustified.

What I find interesting in the uk is the stigma given to a gay person.

Why single out the UK? In the grand scheme of things we're pretty progressive compared to many. How do you reckon he'd have fared in Russia? Or the good ol' US of A for that matter?

Fear of the unknown

And, judging by some people I knew at school who are out now despite having been homophobic bullies at school, self-loathing.

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/owen-jones-when-coming-out-ends-equality-will-be-total-7917824.html

Well done Tom, have a a happy relationship with your new boyfreind/partner.

Let us hope you are the first top rank sportsman to come out this year, and be a role model for kids at school and college that daily suffer bullying and fear for their sexuality being found out or for just haveing the courage to be out.

Things have come on in leaps and bounds for the gay community over the last few years,but there is still discrimination,fear and hatred from a small minded minority, we all have the power to tackle gay bullying, by just saying something, being supportive of freinds ,family,and evenn strangers, by having frank and open conversations and most importantly just listening to the other side.

gwj72 - Member
I understand why he's lying

Oh good

gwj72 - Member
(to make money)

Oh no wait, actually you don't.

[i]I don't give a monkeys about peoples sexual preference. I just think when someone says they are not gay and are looking for the right girl, when in fact they have been in a gay relationship for 6 months, I call that lying[/i]

When I was 13 and lying in bed literally concentrating on Liam Butler, I was lying ( I used to think that maybe I had no tits because there wasn't a boy I fancied, and when I did they would grow, hence trying really really hard to like Liam) when I told Michaela that I didnt fancy girls I was lying then as well.

People do and think stupid things especially when your desperate to be normal, I don't judge or blame Tom