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Our youngest is 3 and a bit and has been in pants for a few weeks. He's not too bad at wee's, but has a complete aversion to using the toilet or potty for poos. His two brothers were fine but he is a nightmare. Just refuses to use the toilet and eventually the inevitable happens in his pants.
We've tried stickers (star chart), bribes and even got him Lightning MacQueen toilet seat as he loves Cars and Cars2. But it's not improving. Any useful advice would be appreciated
Once he's done a job in his pants, take him to the toilet and put the poo down the toilet then put a flushable wipe in his hand and get him to wipe. Then get him to flush the toilet. This way doing a poo is always associated with going to the toilet. To keep my daughter on the toilet I used to put toys in a tied up sock and she had to guess what was in it. This was called the pooer. The wife thought it was mad but it worked. Also he will do it in his own time. Cheers 1 shed.
good advice
Rub his face in it.
No poo, no pudding.
1 shed knows his poos. Good advice!
Wait. No need to rush. It's apparently hormonal and some are quicker than others. We know folks who tried to force it by taking a week off work to train them and they totally wasted their time
Bribe him with chocolates. Successful poo on toilet = 1 chocolate button. Meagre rewards, I know, but he thought it was the real deal!
shortbread_fanylion has it exactly
choccy buttons ftw!
My sister-in-law's eldest had (and has) real trouble with pooing - he's nearly 8 now.
They tried all sorts of potty training approaches, but especially the bribery / treating route and - as always in parenting - there was some parental frustration, too.
Poo had always been a bit of a laugh in their house and I don't think they took psychological ("Shrink-y rubbish") and physical signs seriously enough, quickly enough. Their GP just seems to dish out Movicol, which I'm not sure helps a lot on its own.
Bribery is a bit futile if there's something bigger going on. (Family history of bowel problems and very stressed workaholic dad).
SIL eventually contacted ERIC (childhood incontinence charity) after 2 years, but felt condescended - or, perhaps, just a bit challenged on some home truths and bad practices.
OP: you probably won't end-up with a nearly 8 year old who still poos his pants every day - not least when it's still very early days. But, based on this experience, do keep an open mind (which this post suggests you are doing!). 🙂
Waiting is sometimes a good solution.
My son flatly refused to be potty trained even for a wee until he decided he was ready. We realised this after a disastrous couple of days, after which we postponed the training for a while. Once he decided he was ready (he was just over 3 years old), there was no "training" needed and he had no accidents or anything.
It was similar with learning to ride a bike without stabilisers- he refused to do it until he decided he was ready, which was probably a bit later than most kids. When he decided he was ready, he asked for the stabilisers to be removed and he just rode off by himself!
I agree with Vicky akthough I realise you're there with the pee-ing already so maybe a little different. We got nowhere with the potty the first time. Waited for a few months, tried again and after an accident on the first day he nailed it.
Once he's done a job in his pants, take him to the toilet and put the poo down the toilet then put a flushable wipe in his hand and get him to wipe. Then get him to flush the toilet. This way doing a poo is always associated with going to the toilet.
This, and also take him with you regularly to show him its quite a normal event.
I read before that youngsters can be quite traumatised that something is existing from thier body, but the above approach worked for both my kids.
our oldest was at nursery when he got potty trained so they did most of the work for us
second one was at home as wife was on mat leave so we had the joy of doing this one.
stick him on the potty and don't let him move until he's done his business then let him go off but then stick him back on in about 30 minutes until he goes again. they then eventually associate the potty with doing a number 1 or 2. also always encourage them to tell you that they need to go as well so they themselves can identify that they need the potty/toilet
it took our daughter about 6-8 weeks of this before she finally got used to using the potty as and when she needed it. all we had to then do was to make sure the potty was empty and clean for the next time...this was last year when she was about 2 and a half and within 12 months she was out of nappies completely.
third child turned 2 on Saturday so it wont be long before he's on the potty although i think he may be ready now....cant wait(!) but he's at nursery so they can deal with most of it!
You can't shortcut it. My eldest (6) still has the odd 'problem' though mainly it coincides with something more interesting at hand (i.e. iPad).
The other two basically just started using the toilet. We were somewhat bewildered by the idea of training until number 3 started his dirty protest!
has been in pants
When you say this do you mean nappy training pants or normal underwear?
An approach to try, particularly as the weather is warming up is to put kid in normal underwear. Leave playing in the garden, with regular reminders about "do you need the toilet". Then let them work it out for themselves.
The argument being that wet & dirty underwear is really uncomfortable very quickly so they learn they don't want dirty underwear. So they get to learn to associate those feelings with not want dirty underwear and going to the loo.
Training pants are too much like nappies and do too good a job which delays the uncomfortably feeling so they don't associate the need to go to the loo with the uncomfortable feeling.
Thanks for the replies. Think we'll give the 1 shed approach a try. Part of the frustration is that it seemed to be very straight forward with his older brothers. But hey-ho, at least it is summer time. Maybe he can do it in the garden.