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i hope you get run over, you miserable shit.
apologies for the complete lack of positivity or anything remotely constructive in this thread, but it really is difficult to overstate how vigourously annoyed i am right now
Sorry about that. I was desperate.
Are you sure it was a dog?
I feel your pain. I found one on my doorstep a couple of months ago.
It's bad enough that folks don't pick up their dog's shit on the street, but to leave it after it's done on someone's step..actually defies belief.
I genuinely struggle to understand how someone can be so ignorant tbh
Close encounter of the turd kind…
the worst bit was that half of it went on the handles of this new recycling bag that the council just gave everyone that you're supposed to put cardboard in. So after I had done the step I was stood in the street with a watering can trying wash it off that too (it's recycling day today). It's 3C outside
@nick - it was big enough that I did actually wonder!!
Is it a bit like leaving an old pair of boots there to see if they get moved? Have you checked your gate post for chalk marks?
Nick1962 +1. We got similar in our letter box once. The person we suspected went down for armed robbery a few years later. That confirmed our thoughts that doing nothing was the best option.
One of the joys of Madame being a teacher.
Could be fox poo (very likely if the house has pets inside - foxes seem to “punishment” poo in the scenario, or if you live in a city could be a junkie poo if the recent surge in drug addicts pooing in the middle of pavements is anything to go by...
I digress but on a lighter note
One of the joys of Madame being a teacher.
Reminds me of the apocryphal tale/urban myth about the retired school teacher who put a card in her newsagent's window (showing my age here) advertising "French lessons from an experienced school mistress, O and A level a speciality.Please call *******" and was shocked by the calls she got.
🙂
Do you live below a hotel?

Maybe it was a guide dog?
What makes you think it was one of us?
@drac - no but we do live opposite a primary school. Maybe it was a 5 year old who'd had too much boiled cabbage and got caught short on the way home?
Maybe it was a guide dog?
heheheheheheheh
Member most STW'ers live a semi-rural idyll. Moving away from cities and major towns to commuter villages when you got houses free with a four pack of Breakers. They have forgotten what it's like mixing with the animals!
It's a combination of:
And the staff lining up like Victorian servants to greet them when they arrive at work in the morning.
One of the joys of Madame being a teacher.
An occupational hazard? I know of at least one other teacher who's opened the door first thing in the morning to be greeted by a turd on their doorstep (of indeterminate origin).
The 'done' thing when I was at school* was the paper bag on the doorstep, containing a selection of your finest dog eggs. Light the top of the bag and ring the door-bell before retreating to a safe distance.
(people tend to stamp the fire out...)
*not something I ever did but I went to school with some real wrong-uns
OP, does one understand correctly that your front door step is directly onto the pavement of the road? No front garden? Garden path? Gate? White picket fence? How very....
Blue collar.
😳
Well that’s shit OP.
Bawk.
Folk on our road have started to leave giant chalk "pick up your dog mess" messages whenever dog mess is left. Seems to do the trick for a few days at least. Gits.
Could be a fox though.....
You would know if it was a fox from the distinctive smell. Could have been a stray dog or a dog that was out of it's own/escaped for a bit.
Bit of a dog shit problem in Germany. It seems to be the exception rather than the rule that people pick it up.
The number of times I've shouted at people nonchalantly ignoring their squatting dog.....
Few weeks back I inserted a little German flag on a stick into a turd. It was gone later that day.
Have also written notes and taped them to an old chopstick: "sind wir in Berlin?" (I'm in Munich).
Berlin is terrible for it.