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It would appear that 50 odd years of abuse have really taken their toll on my heart.
Some of it was fun, some not so much.
I really left it late to experience the good stuff: Step parent/grandparent, marriage to a wonderful person, amazing job.
Seems like I spent too much time disliking myself. It's understandable, but I should have cut myself a better deal.
So what now? A slow, inevitably painfull decline into a world where nothing is very much fun anymore (ta Rog)?
Can I turn it around?
Scared.
Is there any point?
I had one of the best days of my life a couple of years ago, just on a beach with my grandkids. If I could guarantee another one of those, yeah, I'm up for it.
Is there any more annoying ****ing phrase than 'waiting for results'?
Posting this whilst slightly pissed and I feel like I'll hate myself forever, but you lot are usually quite good listeners.
I have a GTS spray and I'm temped to keep using it for the time being.
Hemingway would have expressed it better!
But I'm in an amazing position: I have been given the means to end or continue my life, on a whim. I have basically been granted the power of a sentient god.
More seriously,
Let's sort out a games night in the new year. Like, actually do it rather than talk about it. We had The Boy over for a few days and I'd forgotten how much I'd missed male company.
Being stuck in a funk becomes self-perpetuating. I've not had motivation to do things I actually enjoy let alone have to do for, well, longer than I care to admit. I feel like I've turned a corner recently (just in time for a viral infection to knock me on my arse).
That beach, it's still there.
I assumed a GTS spray gave you those fancy racing stripes over the bonnet and boot.
But I’m in an amazing position: I have been given the means to end or continue my life, on a whim.
Just like proposing marriage, hitting Buy Now on eBay or buying a car... dont make any big decisions whilst a having a beer and getting a bit emotional.
Signed,
Poopscoop (twice engaged, never married and owner of 5 bikes... none of which I'm currently riding!)
Pete, do every single thing you can to keep on keeping on mate, so you can spend many more good times with the grandkids, because as you already know............... it is the best feeling in the world. better than sex, or drugs, and even better than riding a push bike. and also, as you know, once you reach the happy grandad stage, and are surrounded by happy grandkids........... then you have completed the one thing that us blokes are put on earth for.
Pete, do every single thing you can to keep on keeping on mate, so you can spend many more good times with the grandkids, because as you already know…………… it is the best feeling in the world. better than sex, or drugs, and even better than riding a push bike. and also, as you know, once you reach the happy grandad stage, and are surrounded by happy grandkids……….. then you have completed the one thing that us blokes are put on earth for.
Yeah, it is isn't it? Nothing else really matters
Thanks Tony.
Rusty - there are some very wise words up there ^^^ - from ton in particular.
You can't turn back the clock so...look at what you've got, really appreciate what you've got and maximise every moment you have with grandchildren and the other truly special people in your life - they want and need you in their lives.
It's taken me **** years to learn those lessons.
No-one ever said life was easy but grandchildren give so much - just being themselves.
It's like breathing pure oxygen.
Put away the spray.
All the best.
Grandad frank; 3 engagements, 2 marriages, 3 children, 3 grandchildren but 2 live in the US so don't see much of them; as for bikes...
Well, as we are talking grandkids...
I'm going to be a grandad again next Spring, F for the second time. About little boy.
They are currently choosing names.
Rocko has been mentioned, Rocko! This is why grandads have to be around, they can't name the poor little sod Rocko!
They also considered Arlo... Then I mentioned to my lad that the kid will spend his whole life correcting people that think he can't talk proper like and think his name is actually Marlo... and that's before he had to spell out his surname repeatedly like I and his dad have always had to do. 😄
Granddad's keep them sane.
Poops - huge congratulations!
What about a return to solid, traditional names - Eric, Arnold, Arthur, Frederick, Keith, Clive, Osbert?
Was going to suggest Nigel but, for pretty obvious reasons, didn't.
STW have various fora/forums - chat, bike, women, members - so what about...grandads and/or grumpy male bastards?
It's a winner I tell you, an absolute 100% certified gold-plated winner...and free to STW towers to adopt!
Arlo
What's your name?
Arlo.
'arlo to you too, what's your name?
Right.
Just read this again. What a whinging, melodramatic little ****er 🙂.
So a month off the fags - bonus, should have done it years ago. A healthy diet? I'll get used to it. In fact, I'm starting to enjoy it.
Amazingly, my lungs, liver and kidneys are in reasonable nick. Seriously, this iis quite the shock.
Heart is genuinely ****ed though. I can walk, slowly, for about half a mile before getting severe angina.
Await results.
The doctor told my partner she had acute angina, she said he shouldn't have been looking at it in the first place.
Games, then?
The spray is usually GTN - glyceryl tri nitate. It will hive you banging headaches and is the same stuff as TNT - explosives 🙂
I came on here to add a comment about keeping on keeping on, but the comments on here are already so good, I really don’t have anything more to add.
One day, two years ago, I was walking my two youngest to primary school, when my second-youngest made us stop dead on the pavement. ‘Smell the air,’ he said. ‘I love that smell.’ Turns out, the grass in the local park had just been mown. In that moment , thelittle guy reminded me of all the beautiful little things there are to stay alive for - not least the joy of watching him and his brothers grow up while appreciating the smell of freshly cut grass, how cool snow leopards are, and the fern he maintains in our back garden.
Best wishes, @RustySpanner!
Angina isn't the heart thant's ****ed though it's the arteries and a handful of stents often gives people their lives back at a slightly slower pace. All the male dentists who have treated me except one have ended up with them.
I have a quote tattooed on my wrist in Ogham, which says “This too can change”. I can personally attest that it’s true. Just try to keep positive.<br /><br />
Yes. Laser tattoo removal is a wonderful thing.
The spray is usually GTN
Isn't that similar to poppers? (Amyl nitrate) - Jeez, we used to have to pay for that!
@Rustyspanner - hang in there, dude. We're all going to die. Get used to the idea and make the most of every second you have left. Even Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk can't buy an extra second of time.