[Closed] Tips for getting a newborn to settle at night?

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

Congratulations.

1. If he/she won't go down, turn the telly off, put some music on (it's for you, not them) and pace the floor. It might take time but they love the movement and they'll go off. One night I got through the whole of Led Zeppelin IV before my youngest dropped off 🙂

2. <Controversial> If baby wakes up hungry, don't be too dismissive of just making them up a bottle rather than breast feeding. Bottles are easier for the baby so they'll be satisfied quicker, plus Dad can do it.

3. If you have a baby who drops off in the pram, take them out for a walk. If you have a baby who drops off in the car, take them for a drive. Just don't leave them to sleep in a car seat longer than an hour or so.

.stroke their nose, from the forehead to the tip of the nose, it makes them close their eyes.
.pick one nice song that you/wife can sing, lullabys are boring so pick a nice one (a pop song) Sing it to them gently and let that be their song throughout their infancy. My wife had great results with Snow Patrol & Chasing Cars. You get the idea.

Patience and time. Good luck. Don't be afraid to take them and go and watch tele if you like.

Congratulations...

We are at three months point & had similar issues, are you using a dummy?

If he's clean fed and well, just leave him to cry a bit. remember YOU are in charge not the other way about.
dont be a helicopter parent

2. <Controversial> If baby wakes up hungry, don't be too dismissive of just making them up a bottle rather than breast feeding. Bottles are easier for the baby so they'll be satisfied quicker, plus Dad can do it.

How are bottles easier for babies?

Mrs b, midwife is shouting at you now 😆

Routine. You shouldn't be surprised when you change their environment. Warm cosy with people and noise to cold silent. You go figure.

Routine.

Feeds.

Wind.

Keep them warm.

Keep them clean.

Job done.

And nothing wrong with bottles as any old fashioned midwife will tell you.

We always put ours down in the Moses basket in our bedroom at night, I think at about 8pm and she'd sleep for a few hours before her first feed and then it wasn't always easy to get her to go back to sleep. She's never been able to sleep except in dark quiet (or white noise / rumble) places. White/pink noise can help them switch off - the outside world is very quiet compared to where they were living for the previous few months. We had to swaddle her from about one month to five months old.

All a bit of a blur despite being less than a year ago! They're all individuals though, it's a case of trial and error and in many cases ignoring advice from those that don't appreciate how much babies vary in their needs.

Routine
Feed
Bath
Put down for the night. Put him in the bed room when you think he should go to sleep - 7 isn? Don't keep him down with you until you go to bed. A bit of crying/screaming/brining the house down is normal.

[i]If he's clean fed and well, just leave him to cry a bit. remember YOU are in charge not the other way about.
dont be a helicopter parent[/i]

And this ^^^

Good luck - it does get easier (in 6 week blocks)

😀

Pretty much what has been said. They've just popped out of a warm, dark, and very noisy place with lots of motion. Might be worth trying one of those womb sound recordings. The forehead and nose stroking thing worked here too. Reading to them helped too, just the sound of voices I think.

Oh and in our limited experience, once you start with bottles it's difficult to go back, so one worth having a good think over.

dont be a helicopter parent

Oh and this too. You are effectively training them and being too attentive doesn't always help.

Cant say being in the lounge is the best place.

Bedtime is in a bedroom, not in a lounge with lights and tv. They have obviously already got used to being in the lounge. Just stay with them in bedroom until asleep.

Bedroom, dark, sing, sssh noises, music for as long as it takes. IMO put hard ground work in now and it will get very slightly easier later.

Don't expect proper sleep yourself for years! To be honest the first few weeks are all a blur for me now, but I think for the first few weeks your lucky to get than more than 4hrs kip at a time..

Try 'swaddling' if you haven't already - wrapping him up quite snugly in a blanket so his arms don't flail about. In a few more weeks you could go for the letting him cry for progressively longer periods.
But, he's a baby and wants company. Give him lots of comfort now and he'll be more likely to develop into a secure, healthy, happy child - then you can look back smugly and post rows of smilies when folk ask in future. 😉
We have three and the youngest (4yrs) still ends up in bed with us a few times a week - which is actually quite nice and she's as happy as that bloke Larry.

We had a double bed in our little mans room, unfortunately it gets uses a lot even after 16 months. There are no right or wrongs, you will shortly work it out.

A bit too early for routine at this stage.

Not sure what you're expecting from your OP? Surely not expecting baby to sleep through at this stage? Baby being breast or bottle fed?

Trust me two weeks in = no routine. Do what needs to be done. They are too young for controlled crying ( and I'm a advocate ). Like said up top take them for a spin in the pram or car ( weather dependant )

Don't ever let ANYONE make you feel bad for not breast feeding. There's nothing wrong with using formula. Statistics can be changed to fit any argument.

Things will calm down but not for a while. Just hang in there and rest when you can.

Ps don't listen to the people who love to say things like " oh my baby slept all night from birth" or such like.

Good luck and keep us updated.

We usually use the A65, as he's a newborn you'll probably have to drive him, or get the grandparents to do the honours so you can get some sleep. Not sure what he'll do when he gets there, there's some lovely countryside and great riding nearby but is probably a bit young even for a balance bike. Good luck and apologies for the crap joke.

<Indeed Controversial>
Mrs b, midwife is shouting at you now

Well it didn't do my two any harm.

[img] https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSo6xKwrQ4VLw0r2G7eaYgjaLUMILB6s41CIY3cv5Qn7anXYkY [/img]

Oh take every spare minute you can to sleep whilst baby sleeps

Tips for getting a newborn to settle at night?

We usually use the A65, as he's a newborn you'll probably have to drive him

😀

This is your first child by the sounds of things.
In my experience 2 weeks is a short time to expect the baby to settle.
Yes, you will hear people say that their baby slept through the night from 2 weeks etc, but that is not the norm.
After my wife had post natal depression with our first ( partly because we spent 7 weeks in hospital with him due to being premature / medical problems) , I decided to take over night feeds with the second., as I could see her getting depressed . I was lucky to get an hours kip between feeds, and believe me , it's not just the mother who can get baby blues. Lack of sleep does some real weird things to you. ( wife not able to breast feed so was easier for me to help)
Don't try to fight it, catchup tv is your friend.
Don't leave them to cry. They use crying to tell you something is not right. Controlled crying is not suitable for a 2 week old baby. Raises level of cortisone etc blah blah blah.
Just try to enjoy your baby and where possible share what ever you can, and let the other half get sleep when they can, and you get the rest when you can. Talk to each other, don't bottle stuff up. It does get better, and your perseverance now will pay dividends in the end.
Google stuff like mums net to get advice. Some of it sound a bit far fetched and there is some serious bitching on there, but mostly good helpful info.
Our six month old started sleeping through at about 5 weeks and that was from 8pm to 6am so was very pleased about that. He is a bugger during the day though and if he goes down for more than 30 mins it's a bonus so you can't win them all.
Sounds a bit ott but we use a monitor with sensor pad ( used it with our first because of his issues) . This gives me peace of mind for his safety and makes me relax. Room temp should be 16-20 degrees ideally.
Cheers

White noise has helped ours

White noise app had limited success for us, ie, it worked for a couple of nights! We tried most of the above suggestions but seem to have bred an easily disturbed little creature. He has gradually got better though and seems to be getting the hang of it now - we enjoyed a rare full nights sleep last night......he's 8.5 months btw 😉

OP, I feel your pain, mini-FFJA is 4 weeks old today and has same thing with becoming unsettled when we decamp upstairs to bed...
+1 for strokes and head, gentle voice etc, midwife suggested that because our room is a bit cooler than living room (freezing old house with no central heating) to try popping a hot water bottle into basket to warm it before putting baby in. Obv take it out before you put them in!

Also, bottles and formula are life savers, don't let folk tell you otherwise! Mrs FFJA struggled boob feeding and was in agony, (baby a bit tongue tied), formula saved her sanity!
All the best

What a lovely thread. (possibly not for the OP!)

Get yourself across to Mumsnet,they have all the answers* 😉

It's your first and it's hard not to be OTT ( I know we were ),but there is some good advice above. Just hang in there and things will sort themselves out. We had a nightmare with our first,but you could send a rocket through his room now and he wouldn't wake up.
It will all balance out 🙂

*[i] only joking[/i]

just try and stick to your routine, it does get easier!

I used to use jekkls stroking forhead thing

also had a little sleep hat that i rolled down over kimbers jrs eyes, seemed to work!

Not sure why people are going on about bottle feeding when the OP hasn't mentioned it, but in case I am missing some thing, you can get breast pumps which allow you to easily bottle feed breast milk.

And just when you think you've cracked it, they start teething...

Ewan The Dream Sheep!! 😀

Ewan The Dream Sheep!!

+ a lot

Ewan had open belly surgery this week 🙁

dd looked on with much concern as we delicately removed Ewan's heart and injected him with new energy.

He came through and is singing loud and proud again. 😀

Did he get so low on energy he went a little mental?

He just lost all enthusiasm for the job. Bit sluggish. He'd lost his normal glow. Totally off key with his little tune. 🙂

Ours got a little bipolar...

Thanks for all the tips, keep em coming.

We are persevering with breast feeding for as long as we can, and advised not to try and express any yet as it will effect the milk production. Maybe in a week or 2 then I can help out with the feeds with expressed milk.

I can't honestly remember now it is 36 months since crankbrat was born. Putting to sleep in the room he would spend the night in was one tip. Not setting a routine you did not want for a year an other, my mother warned me off nocturnal drives through gritted teeth having had to do it every night for 18 months with
me.

Fed clean and a routine are key. Breast fed boys are the worst sleepers which was our bundle of joy. I do recall posting on here about what a good sleeper he was it was a phase!

From what you say it is the change of room when you
go to bed so try putting him down upstairs. Any change to routine takes three nights to settle in so don't dispaire if it is not an instant Success.

To the wife of the op - I would advise against swapping a night feed for bottle feed whilst you are trying to establish breast feeding. Not only does it add to the general stress of the early weeks of feeding but its an absolute nightmare when you wake up full of milk with no hungry baby to feed - sometimes breast pads just dont do enough!

Im not a mid wife but have breast fed for nearly 8 years of my life (not just the one baby!), even on my last child the first 6 weeks were hard work getting feeding established and into a routine - the best advice is roll with the punches and find what works best for your family and more importantly make sure she sleeps when the baby does rather that taking it as an opportunity to clean the house from top to bottom

Subscribed. Wreckerjnr arrived at 1600hrs today. 9lbs4!!!!!!!

wrecker - Member

Subscribed. Wreckerjnr arrived at 1600hrs today. 9lbs4!!!!!!!

Bonny baby 😉

Good luck, your first?

Feed on demand with boobs. Deal with the fatigue. You'll all sleep sometime, it's fine. Weird but fine. You just cope.
2 week old babies have no routine. They just need when they need. You won't even have a clue what it is they need for several more weeks at the very least.
All you can do is work through it each time they cry: nappy, feeding, wind, cuddle, hopefully sleep then repeat 🙂

But don't listen to me, my 7 year old still doesn't sleep through! (5 year old does though)

Crazy times, and you'll forget and do it all again in a couple of years...then you can be smug on the internet to others.

But please stick with the boobs, don't listen to the bottle/formula nazis 😉

Yarp. Handsome chap too, if I do say so myself.

I have nothing constructive to add but wanted to wish you luck. I read the thread with interest because Mrs Spacecadett is expecting our 1st in Feb.

swaddling helped our twins relax and feel calm. tried white noise but didnt really work.
they were both on formula as neither would breast feed, we just had to adapt to their needs.
Now, at 13mths, they sleep really well. I think from 5mths they went down for 11hrs without interruption.
Both of them will probably make up for it in later life and go on to be right pains.

Little babies need food, changing and cuddles, nothing else. More or less of each one depending on the baby. Imagine if you've just been born - you can't see and have no idea what's going on, so if someone put you in a room on your own, you'd probably cry too!

I would not recommend bottle feeding at night btw if you plan to breast feed. It can bugger up the supply, her breasts won't know what's going on. I'm sure some people manage but we seem to have spoken to lots of people who had tried breast feeding but said that they didn't produce enough. Often it's because they are trying to pump or bottle feed at night etc.

Congrats OP and Wrecker. Don't want to fill you with horror but ours turned one in November and has never, not once, slept though the night. It has knocked us both for six and I think we took a fairly sensible approach to the whole thing.

We've tried almost everything mentioned above bar controlled crying, but as has been said, they're all unique!

Well he slept from 1 to 2:30, then 4 to 5:30 then went down at 7ish and is just stirring now.
I suppose that's more than we can ask for.

Not sure how I.am gonna handle this when I go back to work next week?!

My top tips

Ignore anyone who thinks they have the right or only answer. Babies are all different. some just don't sleep well.

Read all the ideas you can find and try them (well, the reasonable ones...) - some may work for you and some may work for you at different times as your baby grows up.

Accept that you're going to be tired and ratty and try not to take it out on each other. Work can be hard when you're knackered, no getting round that.

Know that it will get better 🙂 It may take a while but eventually it will. I think knowing that from experience made my second much easier to deal with than my first even though she was (is!) a worse sleeper.

[img] [/img]

tee hee - wait till you have a second. what you are experiencing now is merely mild discomfort.

swaddle the little bugger up tight ours liked that. oh and an extra blanket.

rum for you.

that gin isnt great - bathtub gin for the win.

Ignore anyone who thinks they have the right or only answer. Babies are all different. some just don't sleep well.

That's true.

If it makes you feel better, or worse, we were up for a couple of hours last night with ours. She's two and a half. She's just a bit of a worrier, that one...

We are persevering with breast feeding for as long as we can, and advised not to try and express any yet as it will effect the milk production.

This is bolox. The only affect is that she will produce more. Anyway...

When it comes to getting a sound nights sleep I found it was as much our anxienty that was the issue as anything to do with the baby, mainly worrying about why she was crying. Our solution to this was to give a bottle of expressed milk as the pre-night time feed (10-11pm ish). This way you know exactly how much they have had to drink. A gut full and then you know when they wake up they aren't hungry etc.

Can't do it for the first few weeks though so in that time you just have to man up and get used to sleep depravation. I found that if the baby was fed I would just take her downstairs and watch TV while Mum got some rest, much better than both being stressed in the bedroom trying to do the impossible and persuade a baby that isn't tired to go to sleep. If she was being fed I would just sleep as I can't help with that bit!

With our first, we'd feed her, change her, swaddle her and then break out the patented Daddy cuddle (swinging slowly from side to side whilst moving her up and down gently at the same time) until she got dozy, then into the moses basket.

Inevitably, mini Ransos mk2 gets less attention, but usually has a two minute cry after being put dowen, then goes to sleep. She's two months old.

But as has been said, they're all different. Advice is just the stuff to keep you occupied whilst you're waiting for the little blighter to snap out of their non-sleeping phase.

Oh, and new borns have just spent 9 months upside down, in the dark and under water. Who wouldn't be a bit freaked out?

Ooh

*sits down and opens the gin*

We're not alone! Hurrah, mini RRR arrived 5 days ago (3 weeks early and after Christmas and New year in hospital for us).

Because mini RRR was underweight we have to wake him up to feed him every 3 hours rather than letting him tell us when he's hungry. If we're lucky we get 1.5 hrs unbroken sleep before after the feeding and changing , before the next round begins.

Tips, suggestions, generic platitudes?

This is bolox. The only affect is that she will produce more. Anyway...

Not our experience. After having had lots of trouble at first, we learned that BF has an emotional/hormonal component in its mechanism*. For the same reason the sound of a crying baby can make her leak, a little sucking machine won't do much for production. Of course many women don't have this trouble. Also we found that trying to express during the day for consumption at night didn't work for us. The variability in demand was causing problems - no stimulation at night meant that during the day we struggled to both feed and express. Once they both figured it out at 3 months there was tons of milk.

Anyway - just tips for anyone trying.

* As in, to have sex you just need to stick that in there - but if you are't both turned on it won't be particularly successful!

Just find what works for you to be honest. Noone here will have had the exact same experience and we're all just advising stuff that has worked for us - YMMV is key!

Stuff I'd defintely try:

Swaddling (if using blankets is a faff, then try swaddle pods - a bit of a luxury. but they worked [i]for us[/i]). Our little fella used to be really calm when we used them - and it's much easier to ensure they're sleeping on their backs.

Expressing milk - we had a pump donated by a friend made by Medela - generally their stuff works really well, but whether we'd have shelled out for it ourselves without knowing, I dunno. But having used it, and if we have another, I'd be buying it if we don't get it donated again. I used to let mrs DD get some sleep from around eight and do a late feed at whenever dd woke for it, then swaddle and put him down in the basket beside mum. Then she'd do the next feed. You'll have to use a bottle sooner or later so if you can get baby used to it now, then when the time comes to switch over full time, it'll be less traumatic for everybody.

Ewan The Dream Sheep (again) 🙂

Congratulations and best of luck RRR. I think you should keep in touch with your midwife as yours is a special case - dd was a couple of weeks early, but not underweight so I have no experience other than my own.

Keep the folk whose advice you seek to a minimum and to those you trust most. Otherwise, you run the risk of having a scattergun approach and not knowing what has and hasn't worked. I think laydeez are often more diplomatic in these situations and want to ask everybody's opinion - but there comes a time when you just have too much advice to try to follow.

I don't think you begin to see any kind of clear pattern with what baby wants until around 8 weeks anyway - until then I think it's best you take your lead from him/her - unless you're reading a Gina Ford (or the likes) book in which case, knock yerself out.

I have no experience as a parent, however the best behaved babies of family and friends I've come across are kept to a strict routine. Fed, nap, sleep, awake for/at the same time every day. Seems to work well, but as I said I'm not a parent.....yet

Regarding swaddling, do you own research on hip development issues and make up your own mind on what to do.

You'll have to use a bottle sooner or later so if you can get baby used to it now, then when the time comes to switch over full time, it'll be less traumatic for everybody.

I didn't know there was a time to switch over to bottles!

Anyway - sidetrack. DD is generally on the ball 🙂

Don't wish to be a doom merchant but we tried *everything*.

Our son didn't sleep through the night until he was over 3 years old.

Some kids just won't.

In the end we just developed coping strategies and routines that meant we could mostly function during the day. He's 17 now and I still feel like I've not quite caught up on all that lost sleep...

Not sure how I.am gonna handle this when I go back to work next week?!

FWIW, I noticed that one of our girls wouldn't go off unless she was holding my finger and I had a moment of inspiration - we got her a knotted comforter - this type of thing http://www.amazon.co.uk/FIRST-KNOTTED-COMFORTER-BLANKIE-RATTLE/dp/B0044R7V6G and it worked.

Anyway, if it helps you feel better, try having twins - then you really don't find much time to sleep... And one of ours still gets up once or twice a night and she is 4.5 now...

Make sure you have carbon copies of any comforters.... no fun the day one go missing if you don't!

At 2 weeks?
Not a lot worth doing in my opinion.
Check clean, dry, comfortable, if still upset, then its cuddle time.

Don't expect miracles, the bairn will demand 100% of your attention for quite a while, but be prepared to ignore all advice, as it will always contradict other advice. All kids are different, so are parents. I've just had the first full night's sleep in the 16 months since my second was born.

You'll have to use a bottle sooner or later

At 2 weeks?
Not a lot worth doing in my opinion.

Our new daughter is 8 weeks old now and we found for the first 2 to 3 weeks she wanted to be be cuddled most of the night. We have one of those V cushions so one of us would sit up in bed and cuddle her. You could actually sleep quite well we found. After that she started sleeping in her mosses basket but we found butting a hot water bottle in it when she was being fed or before we put her in it really helped. Just made it snug for when she first got in.

With my first daughter we found swaddling her really helped. We didn't do it very tightly but she really liked it.

I would our new born has only started getting into a routine in the last 2 weeks, so give it a bit of time. You kind of have to just resign your self to crappy sleep for a few months

No you won't.

Actually, reading back through my post, that's fair comment and I'm guilty of applying my own experience to my advice to the OP. If you're planning on helping mrs organic with feeding or mrs organic is going back to work earlier than when weaning happens, or a myriad of other reasons, then getting them used to a bottle early might be useful. If she can breast-feed until solids are fully established, no milk is needed and/or baby is established with cup-feeding or using a sippy cup, then no, you won't.

Lots of varied advice on this thread! You will find some of it works for you, some doesn't. Babies vary a lot it seems.

We only have one so far, she is now just over a year. IMO the first 6 weeks are essentially all shite, unrelenting exhaustion, stress and misery in which you will very nearly lose your mind - if you're lucky.

BUT it gets better, when they start to smile and respond. You won't get a decent night's sleep for a LOOOONNGGGGG time, some will manage at 6 weeks, ours took until 7 1/2 months until she slept through (up till that point 4 hours was the longest single sleep we had managed, and that was very very rare) and others are much worse than ours was!

Good luck - and try to be supportive of each other.

I slept in a different room to my wife and baby for a while after I went back to work so that at least one of us would have a proper night's sleep. It was her idea and some of our friends have done the same I should add! If she's doing all the feeding there's not a lot you can do to help but if you aren't exhausted you can take up the slack the rest of the time.

No you won't. Both of my boys bypassed the bottle

And if your Mrs wants to go out for the evening? Or she's struggling to produce enough milk?

I give our newborn a bottle of expressed milk once every couple of days.

And if your Mrs wants to go out for the evening? Or she's struggling to produce enough milk?

Yeah, those too! 🙂

Our little lad only took the bottle, nothing else.

He's 21 months old now and for the last 8-10 weeks has been sleeping through for a good 10-12 hours each night, it's almost comical - if he's been playing out all day and is struggling to stay away at tea time he'll drop off really quickly and then wake up 10-12 hours after that.

Basically, cuddles will always help - sleeping at odd times is easy to get used to.

I haven't read the other replies. However, we were in a similar position. Number one thing that without a doubt worked a treat. get an old radio but don't select a station - just go for the big white noise. Crank the volume up and leave the room.

Edit: 2 weeks old you say. I have blocked out anythinhg before 8 weeks as it was HELL. We started with this at 2 months roughly.

My cute little buddy asleep on my knee just now, makes you forget the trauma and sleep deprivation of the night before

[IMG] [/IMG]

Kiwifiz junior now 6 and a bit weeks old. Has gradually gone from 2 to 3 to max 4 hours of sleep between night feeds. To be expected as they grow and their actual stomach capacity increases.....they just can't get enough onboard during those first 6 weeks so it's pretty standard you'll be on 2 hrly shifts initially. It often feels like you've just finished one feed/change/put down routine and the next begins! But research from decent sources (not to many forums!) on basic baby development pathways and you're at least reassured that what you're going through is standard. General medical consensus is that routine before 6-8 weeks is pretty pointless for said stomach capacity/neurodevelopment reasons but then get into what ever recommended routine works for you three (babies start differentiating between day and night at about this timeframe hence the recommended onset of a lot of the various routines). All baby's are individuals but it makes sense to go down some tried and rested mainstream pathways and then adapt as needed. We've talked to a lot of friends and gleaned some top tips from their "experiences". Wife has also done a lot of reading and distilled what seems sensible and medically grounded. Just remember as others have said, the goal posts move as they keep growing and changing both physically and mentally. Keep ahead of the game by researching what to expect at least! Good luck 🙂

Here's one source we found helpful:
[url= http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a7654/establishing-good-sleep-habits-newborn-to-three-months ]Newborn sleep guidelines[/url]

WHITE NOISE!

We use our iPod docking station and iPod we had lying around and set it up in her nursery.

Downloaded an app called white noise and just played it as some background noise for her....sleeps from 7pm until 6am! No interruptions, straight through!

On the app you have sounds of rain, noise, wind etc etc and we normally keep it on rain setting.

I even use it now when I come of nights to drown out the noise of the outside world and the baby and missus downstairs....don't hear a peep due to the ears being distracted sub consciously by the white noise 😉

Our littlun's now 9 months and brilliant but the first 6 or so were BRUTAL. She didn't sleep more than two hours at a stretch, wouldn't settle, wouldn't take a dummy, not interested in a bottle.

A gym ball pretty much kept us sane. Sitting on it and bouncing to get them to sleep is a good alternative to walking about the place for hours on end and it's easier to eat / read a book etc.

In the end, a proper routine and an overnight visit from a sleep nanny cracked it for us. By far the best £120 I've ever spent.