“Throbber” is a great word. 🤣

Walloper

Oxygen thief

Roaster 

Weapon.

Chode has always been a go-to.

Clod

Tool.

Wazzock.

Pillock.

Gobbin.

Barmpot.

("tell us where you're from without telling us where you're from")

Pretty much anything with "absolute" in front of it gets the message across.

"That bloke's an absolute pancake"

Plant pot.

Dohnut.

You can mix and match them as well, you weapons grade roaster!

Wazzock…

Tube

You can mix and match them as well

Never ending supply 

Plum 

Melt 

berk isn't as popular as it used to be 

Tube

You sir, are a ******* tube.

Works better with a Scots accent.

Prefix any of them with ‘weapons grade’ .

Whopper

Muttonhead

Cad

Goofball

Onanist.

Can be used in (relatively) polite company without sounding sweary and many won't realise the meaning.

Walloper also a favourite.

Oik
Gobshite
A Bollox
Eejit

Numptie.

OP - curious why you're looking for non-mysoginistic insults, but at the same time saying "Throbber" is a great insult. You do know that is referring to a Penis?

Why is one bad, but the other good?

Remember seeing "Trump is an absolute Roaster" at his golf course demonstrations years back, stuck with me.

From days gone by - Berk, Prune, Wotsit

melt..as in 'what a melt' or 'shut up you ******* melt'.

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down.

 OP – curious why you’re looking for non-mysoginistic insults, but at the same time saying “Throbber” is a great insult. You do know that is referring to a Penis?

Why is one bad, but the other good?

• Because most of the time a masculine insult is gender appropriate 
• Because in comedy terms it’s “punching up” rather than “punching down” as generally being a man is a privileged position in society

Moonunit

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down.

We are. But our speciality is actually stringing them together into a string of insults that may be directed and the mad radge that knocked your pint that's about to get laid into. Or at best friends as a friendly hello.

Goyt.  Smeg Head.  Anything from Red Dwarf.  

Walking Dumpster Fire.

I like the more surreal, unexpected ones or insults that manage paint a little picture, I have used/heard in the past:

"...Absolute Jazz-hammer"

"...he/she is a gigantic effort sponge"

"...intellectual equivalent of whispering in a hurricane"

"...Mind like a cotton wool cage"

"...He soars like a breeze block"

"...like arguing with a turnip..."

"...brain full of unicorns and silly string"

"...actually too thick to be embarrassed by their own stupidity..."

"...the brightest spark in this forest fire"

"...the strongest argument I've encountered for eugenics"

"...the strongest argument I've encountered for contraception"

"...I'd happily buy him a pint... of bleach"

Must be someone on here who can do a Throbber logo in the style of Thrasher mag?!

Stroker

Cockwomble still takes some beating

A recent addition came courtesy of Nihal on five live

You absolute lunch!

Needs to be said in a Danny Dyer type accent for full effect in the same way that 'gobshite' needs a scouse accent

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down

There is something about the combination of accent and language which multiplies the impact of the put down.

berk isn’t as popular as it used to be

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You'll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.

Gripper. A ****er too stupid to move his hand.

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You’ll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.

Definitely doesn't meet the OP's criterion

Insults don’t work as well with Received Pronunciation.

There is something about the combination of accent and language which multiplies the impact of the put down.

Boost, ya wee goblin! Yer da' sells Avon!

English translation: Go away, as you are mildly irritating, and your father is not very manly.

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You’ll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.
Definitely doesn’t meet the OP’s criterion

Also true.

Bawbag is another joyously Scottish one

Yer da’ sells Avon

Avon calling?

Fun sponge

Pretty much all of what Richard Hammond says in THAT rant

Gland

Wet wipe.

Belter.

And like throbber can also be prefixed with 'turbo/weapons-grade/uber' to give others an indication of the magnitude of said individual.

Back-eye
(Credit @nobbingsford)

There are some swears that were very popular 70's that have made a resurgence with the younger members of our family and youngsters in general (the U21s). Not very PC now so not going to type them. I doubt they know their original context though.

From my 14 year old daughter – 'goon'

Heidthebaw is one of my favourites.

Loving gripper though

Belter

Oh! As a southerner up north around the turn of the century, I thought an associate from Newcastle was using belter meaning awesome. I never picked it up so possibly avoided some misunderstandings there!

@sorromj isn’t the fact that almost all meaning in English is contextual great?

Mouth Breather...

Throbber 
Stroker 
Jizz trumpet 
Bawbag 
**** bag
Useless bag of tepid semi congealed manfat
He's as much use as tits on a fish 
Theres more but not for here 

Ohh blend.... that guy is a total blend 

Oh and tube...

F off you tube

Bounder

Doyle

Ass hat

@karaner yeah isn't it 🤣

A complete muppet.

Fannybaws

Bawbag (A friendly greeting, as in; 'Awright ya wee bawbag')

Smoker.
As in c*** smoker

Belter

Oh! As a southerner up north around the turn of the century, I thought an associate from Newcastle was using belter meaning awesome.

@sirromj it does mean that, not sure where it doesn't.

Doesn't fit the criteria but fud is a good one.

Rocket does.

As does banger.

Always makes me cringe when someone says "that's an absolute banger". Aye, ye ur.

Always makes me cringe when someone says “that’s an absolute banger”.

I associate the word "banger" with Radio 1 DJs who are older than they think they are, still trying to relate to the Youth Of Today before playing some absolutely toss music.

Tool is one of my favourites

Trumpet

Dipstick

Rupert

Zoomer

Fud

Twonk

Cock socket is another 

Ring peice

Dangleberry

Flaming Galah

Spoon

Tungsten dirigible

Numpty.

Cock socket is another

means somebody who receives cock, unfortunately therefore either misogynistic or homophobic

Smoker.
As in c*** smoker

same thing, other end

means somebody who receives cock, unfortunately therefore either misogynistic or homophobic

Or somewhere you would insert a cock.

Are we allowed to call them a fleshlight instead?

Other brands are available. (so I am told)

Cock womble

Balloon 

Whallopper

squirrelking

Or somewhere you would insert a cock.

Are we allowed to call them a fleshlight instead?

I don't make the rules, I got slagged off for using the term 'pole smoker' so I'm just passing along the joy.

Fleshlight is good, like it.

Gloyt, tis an old one from school days

Flute

Fud, was used frequently in my younger days.
**** off ya fud. Quite sure it means idiot.

I tend to associate the word belter with something being awesome. From the North West. 

Not non-misogynistic unfortunately but 'She's one of those who's all nylon stockings and no breakfast' made me laugh this morning. 

(Re Throbber, that sounds right, but I maintain 'throb' and 'thrum' should be pronounced with the same voiced 'th' sound as 'there' or 'then', and spelt 'dhrob' and 'dhrum'). 

Thunder as a pre fix. Works particularly well with the "C" word.

Fannybaws is my particular favourite.

As a Scottish Air traffic controller (and ex squaddie), I have many abusive terms in my vocabulary which are best not transmitted over the RT but are used very often.

Twunt