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****in nightmare!
My wife and I lost our baby at 19 weeks earlier in the year, a little boy we named him Valentine, held him for an hour before he drifted away, all terribly sad but we have our little girl who gives us so much pleasure.
Money this year has been tight and seemingly comes in one door and goes out another and not all on bike bits before you say it!
NOW today my big bro's wife and mother of 2 aged 4 and 2 has been diagnosed with breast cancer and it's not looking great.
I'm so angry why is it the world seems to kick the shite out of everyone?
I've always been a jolly up beat chat and give thanks to every thing i have and realise there are people in far worse postion than I but for Christ sake I've nearly had enough.
Our focus is to now make sure my sister inlaw wants for nothing and do all we can for my Niece and nephew and be a shoulder for my big bro, feel like a spare part all the same.
Rant over
Jeepers - that a hard row to hoe.
Nothing anyone else can say really apart from while doing on that supporting of others remember to make time for yourself as well. Its natural to react to it and be angry /sad/frustrated/ whatever as a result but its not weak to seek professional help if it all gets too much
Good luck
Bloody hell that is a sh1tty year.
We lost one at 37.5 weeks in 2007 - it's very hard.
If there is a God out there, he can be a right c**t at times.
Cheers chaps, yeah getting close to the point of me wanting to chat to someone something i thought I'd never need!
37.5 weeks! that's very harsh, we knew that our little man wasn't viable so took solice in that, but 37.5 weeks, that's terribly sad.
I'm gonna keep smiling and ride me bike a bit more, it's great therapy I find
very close friend of mine had a cancer scare, but thankfully has been given the all clear after some pretty nasty surgery. Hope your SIL gets better soon.
Losing kids must be ****ing hard.
It's sometimes easy to focus on the bad stuff though.
Sounds horrific. These things do seem to pile up.
Make sure you enjoy the good things - don't let the bad stuff eat away at you.
Here's to a better 2011
Lost for words for once.
Sorry.
There is too much pain around for everyone at the moment it seems - just keep strong, keep focussed on the happy things in your life and just be there for others as they will be for you.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can fully aprreciate how you are feeling. Last year my wife and I lost our first son, 21 hours after birth at 42 weeks. He'd suffered from peri-natal asphyxiation. Not a day goes past without us thinking of him and remembering how much we love him.
He now has a little brother born a year and a week afterwards. And our appreciation and joy of how blessed we are for having the opportunity of having another child never ceases.
We have received a lot of support from the charity Sands and also a local counselling charity called the Laura Centre.
Sometimes life feels so unfair and it seems that only good decent people are affected.
Thoughts are with your family and best wishes to your sister-in-law.
If you need a private vent or understanding support of a stranger, please feel free to email me using the address in my profile.
🙁 Possibly the hardest thing in life to have to experience supersessions - you must be a strong couple to come through that intact and with a happy ending in the little brother.
With you Amos, we lost our son in Jan after he developed complications and arrived early (29weeks). Got to hold him and say goodbyes but the single hardest thing I/we have ever had to endure. Quite odd to be the male in the situation too as the majority of people expected you to be a rock and support the family etc.. dark dark days.
Thankfully we have a 3yr old girl that managed to add a ray of light in what has otherwise been a right chunt of a year.
🙁
C'est la vie 🙁
All this talk of babies losing their lives is really upsetting
Sadly the facts about stillbirth and neo-natal death are not widely known. I certainly wasn't aware of how many people are affected until it happened to us.
[url] http://www.uk-sands.org/ [/url]
+1 for Sands..... been very helpful for me personally and friends in similar situations.
All I can add is a simple 'Chin up fella....'
Surprised how many people on here have had similar experiences, I guess its a big userbase mind.
Chin up is the right idea, and when you do have a moment of happiness or something positive happen try not to feel guilty about it.
Holy sh1t, some horrible experiences here. Max and Supersession - terrible for you both.
You all getting through it okay?
No doubt about it, my wife getting pregnant three months after we lost ours then having a healthy boy made all the difference.
The one we lost (Joseph, buried in the local churchyard) had a true knot in his cord. It tightened as he grew and that was it. Other than that one in a million chance event, he was totally healthy. A hell of a shock.
Tried Sands but didn't get much from it - we just pulled together, went ballistic on exercise (my wife was doing epic bike rides soon afterwards) and talked a lot to each other using our own "made up" psycology. Just about hung in there and now a very sad but luckily not life-wrecking memory.
The memory of holding the little fella still brings instant tears to my eyes though and certain songs trigger floods too for some reason.
I hope 2011 is much better for everyone. 2010s been a right bastard. I hope yr all coping ok
Yeah I hope so too! Couldn't get slot worse eh!
Good thing is I'm really excited at the thought of 2011 as a result
Thanks for all your supportive comments, actually feels better sharing it with you lot, writing/typing it is actually good therapy
2010's been a right pisser. Miss catflees lost her Dad. I lost my uncle. My business had cash flow problems I needed cash fast so was forced to sell my beloved mountain bike, on the plus side I will get a nice bit of pay soon. We've had cancer scares too. 2010 seems like every month has been crap. I can't even comprehend how hard it must be to loose a child. That must be f-ing horrendus. Group hug
Squeeeeeeeeeezzzzeeeee and ahhhhhhh now we must all MTFU!
Strength and courage to all those who have lost children, just the thought of it lays me low.
Not entirely the same but lost both parents in the last year and a half, part of the problem with these situations is often the feeling of having no power to do anything.
Life sucks but things usually get better.
Just concentrate on the good things.