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The phone rang as I was on my way to answer the front door earlier.
The man on the other end seemed to fluff the name he was asking for, but it definitely wasn't my name so I said "sorry, wrong number mate".
As I was attempting to sign the Yodel man's little electronic thing and grab my parcel at the same time, I heard the man on the phone say "we have information that you used to work in a noisy environment and may want to..."
Being a bit busy, I said bye and hung up. It was only as I climbed the stairs I realised how I should have responded...
"What's that mate? Sorry I'm a bit deaf. Used to work in a foundry you see. Anyway, cheerio..."
It was only as I climbed the stairs
Very good....
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l'esprit d'escalier
literally in your case
l'esprit d'escalierliterally in your case
I wish I'd said that.
My response to my unwelcome telephone caller tonight was :
"who is this? What's your name and place of work, this is a Police crime scene, did you know the victim?"
About twelve sorrys and he hung up.
I just send my daughter to answer the phone these days.
She's not really got the hang of the landline yet though, If its someone that I do want to speak to she still outs the phone down on them
I've never really got over the time, as a 10 ish year old, when I answered the phone to one on my Dad's work colleagues.
After the call, chuckling, Dad said "You know what John said?"
Me: "What's that Daddy dear?"
Dad: "I didn't know you had a daughter".
I didn't laugh.
This is why I constantly recite "button it fatty" and other such witticisms on my commute, one day it'll be worthwhile.
I've never really got over the time, as a 10 ish year old, when I answered the phone to one on my Dad's work colleagues.After the call, chuckling, Dad said "You know what John said?"
Me: "What's that Daddy dear?"
Dad: "I didn't know you had a daughter".
I didn't laugh.
My brother got called miss by an attendant on a ride, as he was helped onto said ride. What made it funnier was that when he realized, he started apologizing profusely. Which just made me laugh even harder as he was going though that whole 11-12 grow your hair long and wear black stage.
I took the piss mercilessly for weeks, as brothers do.
A young lad I know changed colleges and one of the lecturers thought he was a girl named Jass when he is called Josh.
I have a high-ish pitched voice, and it can be handy for wrong footing people who ring up if I have to correct them.
I've taken to asking people who claim to be from the Microsoft technical department if they have a conscience, and did their parents bring them up to be dishonest, and similar things.
If they ring up sounding happy it's my goal to unsettle them. They take money from loads of people, so they deserve it is my thinking, hopefully they might change jobs to something nicer?
Not mine I'm afraid; one I read on another forum a couple of years ago.
A guy was cycling along and someone shouted "Oi, fatty!" at him. Quick as a flash, he came back with "I'm only fat because every time I 'have sex' with your mother she gives me a biscuit."
Rich.
A guy was cycling along and someone shouted "Oi, fatty!" at him. Quick as a flash, he came back with "I'm only fat because every time I 'have sex' with your mother she gives me a biscuit."
My guess is he was prepared
One of the all time great bowlers, Glen McGrath was getting frustrated at being unable to dismiss little known Zimbabwean cricketer Eddo Brandes.McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”
Brandes “Because every time I **** your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
One of the all time great bowlers, Glen McGrath was getting frustrated at being unable to dismiss little known Zimbabwean cricketer Eddo Brandes.McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”
Brandes “Because every time I **** your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
Thought it would be too good to be true!
Another cricket "sledging" one that allegedly took place, which I believe was during an Australia/England match although I don't know the participants was:
Bowler - "How's your wife and my kids?"
Batsman - "Wife's fine but the kids are retarded."