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Everybody I'm thinking about getting into the online dating scene after a long sabbatical of being single and escaping a long relationship previously. What experiences do you guys have? Are there any tips and tricks you guys got up your sleeve to help me navigate the unknown Sea? I've only heard of a few dating websites mostly from advertisements and don't really know too many people personally that have done it as all of my friends are already married.
Get a picture of a puppy on your Tinder profile, attract your dream woman. It worked for me.
Seriously tho, don't take it seriously, just be normal (most people out there are apparently not normal) & just see it as a way of meeting people you might not of run into otherwise.
There was a great thread on this.
Tinder ftw.
Anything and everything is out there - from shagathons to bunny boilers. As above just be yourself and don't get too sucked into it.
Plenty of dos and don'ts for profiles of course!
Avoid any woman with a picture of a cat on her profile.
Face pics taken from above mean only one thing.
Been there before about 10yrs back & now happily married to someone I've known from before internet dating was a thing, but viewing my 25yo step daughters activity on tinder and other dating apps is another eye opener altogether 😱
Just be yerself and don't send dick pics is a good start.
Nothing is real until you meet,woman get bombarded by an amazing number of men and most start talking about sex within the first 5 mins:), and be prepared for a few of them to suddenly stop chatting and disappear into thin air when the next new shiny thing comes along.Not that I am bitter:),oh and women are mental.
Yeah the looking down your blouse pics get the best results 🤣👍
Dont shave your chest for the “real Disco Man” look.
And go for the MonoBrow look, it’s all the rage to make you look shofistiched and glam, orange tan and lashes optional.
Post pics🤪👌🍆
don’t get too sucked into it
That may be what he's hoping for...
A few mates of mine have gone through divorces and had a blast with online dating. Some settled down fairly quickly, some took a few months to play the field before settling down, but they're all settled down again now. I was a bit envious for a short while, but I think its something that might wear a bit thin after a time...it seems to be very much a case of quantity rather than quality, so worth being a bit selective. Also if you're a similar age to me then they all come with some form of baggage from previous relationships, so you might find a nice enough girl, but they might come with a very complicated life, so that is another angle to consider. But the best thing to do it seems is to just get yourself out there and get stuck in.
On my last Bumble adventure I was invited for a drink on Tuesday night. This invite was sent on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday afternoon I received a message that said "sorry, going to have to cancel Tuesday as I've met someone else and we are making a go of it". Never ever think you are their only option. You are probably not even their best option. I decided to get out of the game at that point and ride my bike more. It was a good choice.
Oh and if you are not 6ft tall, lie and say you are.
I met this lass one time, took me two days to get the smell off my fingers..😆...####ing rank....
Another had a spot on her lips, full of yellow puss, I wasn't kissing that.
I had another go a bit pyscho on me, bought me a blanket!! wtf. I had told it was over but she drove all the way from Cambridge way to deliver this blanket. I made sure I was out so she chucked it over the back gate. I still have it actually
Anyway, I'm sure you'll get on fine 😆👍
I’ve done OK out of it, we got married a month ago.
invited for a drink on Tuesday night. This invite was sent on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday afternoon I received a message that said “sorry, going to have to cancel Tuesday as I’ve met someone else and we are making a go of it”.
I hate it when Craig David does that.
Avoid any called Louise.
Damn you monkeysfeet......😁
Tinder = shagging
Match = relationships
1. Know your goal and use an appropriate platform
2. Nice pic of your face, nice pic of you with mates, nice pic of you doing something you enjoy
3. Be honest but fairly brief in your bio
4. Be ready for some nutters, some very lonely people and some entirely normal people
5. Enjoy it. It’s fun.
I met my wife on Match.
Been together nearly 10years and married for 6.
I also met some right weirdos before..
I met one on Love at Lycos years ago. She was a nutter but the sex was better than I'd ever imagined.
As above really-Lots of mentalists and easy sex,never take any of it very seriously, and expect to be surprised at how many crazy people are living among us so choose wisely.Prepare your self esteem for a crazy roller coaster ride,and view it as a fun thing rather than pinning hopes on meeting 'the one',although she will be on there somewhere.Just celebrating one year with a fab lady that I met on POF after a few months of dating crazies. *One thing I did learn was that If you get invited to their homes then theyre definitely up for it...
Sites that are free to use are pretty much just for hook-ups really. Met my GF on Guardian Soulmates a couple of years ago. We've both got some horror stories!
Filter at the profile stage. Few messages then meet quickly it's a total waste of time messaging for ages as you may get on amazingly by message then you meet and there's just no spark. Met my other half of 7 years on pof!
Tinder = shagging
Match = relationships
Conversly I got nowhere on match, but met my wife on tinder...
Met some interesting people. One girl couldn’t meet me one night (for a second date) as she had been hanging out with her ex the night before and was still sore 😳 never saw her again, oddly...
Another asked if if we could go back to mine after the drinks as she was homeless.
By far the most batshit mental one was a friend of a few of the girls at work, and not on a dating site, to my knowledge anyway. Neither I nor they speak to her anymore.
Tinder = shagging
Match = relationships
Either you’ve never experienced these sites/apps or they are different tinder and Match from the ones I’ve used.
I have a few rules - reject any woman with a Snapchat filter on their pics. How old are you?10? That’s a massive purge to start with.
Then avoid any woman who’s “hobby” is meeting family and friends. How bloody boring must she be if thats a hobby?
Dump all those who say they “love to laugh”. Oh, there’s me loving to cry my stupid eyes out every night in misery and agony!
Avoid any profile which only has a face photo... well, unless you like surprises, of course.
Then I’m left with the normal/interesting ones.
You know nothing about them until you meet = a few I’ve got on fantastically on texts, then you meet and it’s instant hatred! 🤪
My latest rule is don’t tell them you’re a cyclist unless they are too. Women really seem to have a bee in their bonnets about cyclists... they’ll keep this hidden for a little while, then... well, they can **** off too!
I’m still single 😁
I met my wife on Fitness Singles about 10 years ago.....
No idea if that still exists now, but met a lot of very nice and successful women on it. I guess something like if you're still into sport in your 30s, you must be pretty motivated and organised.
I met my wife on Muddymatches.com 👍🏻
I had a brief go on Match but it was hard finding country girls.
I’d already decided not to get drawn into online conversation, so when the now Mrs Crosshair contacted me the first Saturday night I was on there, I replied with my phone number and an offer of Sunday lunch the next day.
Five texts and a phone call later and we’d agreed to meet. I took my cutest Labrador along for moral support and she brought her working Cocker puppy 🤣
She walked in with wellies on and her dog whistle around her neck and we’ve been together ever since 😍
Successfully met some nice people from POF but ended up getting with someone from work. Now three years later I'll probably end up contemplating online dating again in order to find someone outside of my normal circles. I'll either go POF again or follow recommendations from friends for Match being a better service and experience with it being paid for. I think it's the same as anything, be sensible and realistic and you'll be fine. It's very much a womens market and they will have a few people messaging them at once. I like to think I'm the exception to the rule though and I go on to meet someone nice, not be a complete sl@g!
I joined POF, went on one date, still together 7 years later, mortgage, a toddler the lot!!!!
Hang on for a bit longer, the first of those real doll sex robot things are starting to ship...
Thanks be to all the gods in Valhalla that I met mrs_d before the internet. I wouldn’t have a clue where to start now
Tinder = shagging
Match = relationships
Just wanted to add to the chorus - I met both my last long-term partners on Tinder. Not just shagging.
Every profile I see on Tinder says "Not looking for ONS or Hook Ups" - every single one.
My last date was a tinder, she was ever so sweet, but looked 10 years older than her photos. I just couldn't.
haha, love reading stuff like this. Try dating sites for gay girls...Anyway from my (limited) experience with mates on these sites
1. why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy
2. oh look, here's another photo of you in outdoor clothes on top of a mountain...
3. oh, a picture of your penis? thanks,,,,
4. stop swearing (****s sake)
5. "Hi" Really, is that the best opening line you have?
6. Irony...I know, I get it, you read Roth and Ian Banks, you drink proper beer, you have a good job and you drive a nice car, but you suck at this shit, like the rest of us, you've failed in your one and only LTR and your wife's just dumped you, Here you are on a dating site, please don't treat the other half of the population with sarcasm and cynicism, prick.
7. Your not exactly a greek god either, so quit with the personal remarks.
Just sayin like...
Every profile I see on Tinder says “Not looking for ONS or Hook Ups” – every single one.
There are people on here that have never owned a bike...
Why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy
Why do so many of my views on Match come from 60+ year old women? [i]That's[/i] creepy. (I look young! I DO!)
"Hi” Really, is that the best opening line you have?
Last message from a woman in the same town as me, I might've been interested, but "Hello x" Yeah, cheers.
oh, a picture of your penis? thanks,
Oh, a picture of your child/dog/cat/horse? thanks. I'd rather see your .. it'd tell me more about you.
Most of the crap works both ways
Reader, I married her.
Every profile I see on Tinder says “Not looking for ONS or Hook Ups” – every single one
Hi!
Not mine DebZ....Not mine. 😉
*sends a picture of myself with my wang out,on top of a mountain in outdoor clothes and winged sandals.....'coz it's like really f**Ing ironic.
1. why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy
My wife, whom I met on tinder, is 5 years older than me.
Swipes right on Perky
viewing my 25yo step daughters activity on tinder and other dating apps
WTAF, is that really a thing? That is wrong on so may levels (unless she is really fit, can you post pics up here?)
oh look, here’s another photo of you in outdoor clothes on top of a mountain…
Conversely if a girl on tinder didn't have at least one pic of her in outdoor clothes on top of a mountain I wouldn't be interested, and a single duck pout or snapchat filter is a nope.
you'll get a lot more success if you're just normal, polite, respectful. Something that's lost on so many who then wonder why they're meeting nutters or nobody at all. Go in eyes wide open, those with hangups are easily spotted, but very occasionally not. IN my experiences most women were genuinely relieved to have a normal conversation with a grown-up, rather than yet another manchild, seems like a no-brainer to me (don't be a dick).
I had great success on POF with a brief profile description, met some interesting women, met one bad one (who still gives me nightmares), and then met someone wonderful, and we're still living happily together two years on.
To echo someone above, use the sites for initial contact only, very quick filtering on the profile, a couple of messages, then ask to meet. Simple as that. Terrifying to start with, but then a lot of fun and my confidence developed massively.
Kind of miss it 🙂
Men want younger women like women want wealthier men. Both for obvious reasons. Of course it's not in all cases but one is not more right or wrong than the other.
Conversely if a girl on tinder didn’t have at least one pic of her in outdoor clothes on top of a mountain I wouldn’t be interested
+1
My wife (to be) had a pic of her on top of Ben Nevis in outdoor clothes. Had she not had at least one outdoorsy pic, I wouldn't have bothered contacting her....
To echo someone above, use the sites for initial contact only, very quick filtering on the profile, a couple of messages, then ask to meet. Simple as that. Terrifying to start with, but then a lot of fun and my confidence developed massively.
+1
I started off with the mindset this was like a job interview and I needed interview practice, so I'll go on loads of dates just to build my confidence / work on technique etc. If I happen to enjoy the dates, then that would be a bonus...
My tinder profile simply read -
Some people see a mousetrap, I see free cheese & challenge...
It worked, far too well.
Some people see a mousetrap, I see free cheese & challenge…
Swipes right...
Sorry, but for the horror stories I need more details, not just hints of the horrors!
viewing my 25yo step daughters activity on tinder and other dating apps
And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
Swipes right…
Been so long since I've been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!
Been so long since I’ve been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!
To tell the truth, I actually swiped UP on Perky 😉
Perky
You know it 😉
A profile that engages stands out - part of one lady’s offering a while back:
“The quiz below will determine your chances of making the elusive first date. If your answers match mine (or close), are witty, or show you to be as dynamic as Robert Downy Jr in Iron Man (obviously not the third one, which was pony), then you are in with a mighty fine shout.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>
1. It's a zombie apocalypse? What is your weapon of choice? For anything not readily available, please show your workings.
2. A tiger escapes from the zoo and runs at a busload of defenceless children. Exactly how heroic are you and how does that play out?
3. The best Bond movie is ...
4. Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Jack Bauer have a triple threat ladder match on Wrestlemania. Who wins and what is the winning move?
5. Which bear is best?
Please do not contact me without your 5 answers. It will be like trying to unlock a door which has a lock without having any keys. It is a sturdy door that cannot be opened any other way than by using five specific keys. There is no window or secret other way in.“
Plenty to talk about when one meets.
1. Chuck Norris
2. Tigerskin pants
3. Goldfinger.
4. Chuck - See answer 1
5. Nookie
Been so long since I’ve been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!
Never used Tinder so I have absolutely no idea!
Men want younger women like women want wealthier men
My wife is older than me and earns three times my salary. What does that say about me?
I met my wife on Tinder.
I said, "what the bloody hell are you doing here?"
What does that say about me?
You are hung like a small shire horse?
Well I've met a slightly older woman who's in a similar (well, hopefully better considering divorce obligations) financial state to me.
I put up a couple of pics, one on a mountain top with bikes in the background, one doing more normal things. I went on a few dates, generally swiping right in a fairly non-fussy way (fit = right, bikes/outdoorsy stuff mentioned and OK looking = right, >50% duckface/snapchat filters = left, every single photo a group = left). I didn't choose photos that didn't have me up mountains as whilst this might've got me more matches, they'd be the wrong sort of matches for me. You may be less obsessed with mountains and bikes and be prepared to have a nice pretty little lady that'll stay indoors and bake cakes for you and that sort of crap whilst being increasingly passive aggressive about the amount of time/money you allegedly spend on your bikes, but I've had enough of that crap!
To be honest, whilst I had a fairly low right swipe to match rate, my main problem was finding time to chat to women I'd matched with. I do have kids and work and hobbies though, you may find a different experience. Each time I went back on, it took around a week to get 1-2 women to see. Meeting up is a much better way of getting to know someone than relentless messaging.
Other online dating is available, but tinder is very convenient and is free.
What does that say about me?
That you use a pseudonym on the internet...
OKCupid is a good free site IMO/E.
I hooked up with a woman in her 50's on Tinder.
She was really very fit for her age and we got on well. We ended up back at her place and after a bit of a fumble she asked me if I fancied some mother/daughter action. Well, did I? Yes of course I did (which man doesn't want the opportunity to disappoint two women at the same time).
She got up, went to the foot of her stairs and shouted "Motherrrrrrrr!!!!!"
Any pictures of a woman's children always got a swipe left (a no) from me. Mention that you have children, but putting their photo on a dating app is just a bit weird in my mind.
Mention that you have children, but putting their photo on a dating app is just a bit weird in my mind.
Also, be sure to mention that they are your world.
Me kidz r me world
1. why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy
when I was younger I thought that a 5 year gap was normal, to account for women being more mature than men.
I'm 54, was 53 when using the dating apps.
My wife was 7 years younger than me which seemed about right for maturity levels and attitude.
My partner now is 7 years younger than me, also seems about right.
I also dated a 42 year old, she didn't seem younger than me though.
Any dates with anyone my own age seemed like I was dating someone from another generation.
So maybe it is just like for me, you figure out that there is not much point conversing with anyone of the same age.
There was a 25 year gap between my parents.
My mate Ronnie met a girl on Tinder who invited him back to her flat for a threesome with her twin.
Apparently her brothers moustache was really tickly.
Thanks to this thread I was just talking to the young lad at work during lunchtime there about how the dating scene works for him compared to when I was his age. He says that some of the more 'desirable' young ladies on tinder now demand money through another app before they will even respond to any messages! Apparently this is to show that the guys aren't cheap and will be worthy of hooking up with!
I don't envy him in the slightest tbh, some of the things he alluded to that goes on makes my heart sink.
He says that some of the more ‘desirable’ young ladies on tinder now demand money through another app before they will even respond to any messages! Apparently this is to show that the guys aren’t cheap and will be worthy of hooking up with!
Prostitution is hardly a new development....
A lot of the women on these apps (tried POF, Match, Zoosk and Tinder) are exasperated with the whole dating thing and conversing/meeting with so many weird characters. They also get a ton of messages.
That I was considered pretty normal (and trustworthy) by my dates (some which lasted for a while) says a lot.
So don't try lines or similar when messaging, just be normal.
There are some women on there that are playing games - maybe for entertainment at the end of the day, but maybe not as many as men. POF particularly has a bad reputation for men.
Zoosk and Match were OK.
Tinder a bit strange as there is little profile information, but it is amusing if you pay for it and then you get to see who likes you - probably worth it as you may spot a good match that way as oppossed to just luck with when you log on.
And taking a train journey with a paid Tinder account is funny as you get likes coming in from the places your train is passing through.
Black-and-white messaging through WhatsApp/texting is fraught with danger as it is so 2d, so try and get a phone call or even video call asap. Or a call and a meeting.
Offering a photo of ID or similar for safety before a meet seems to be seen as weird, which seems strange considering the number of assaults from online meetups is rising fast.
And women also often expect to be 'swept away' or 'taken-aback' when they meet you, so if you are more of a grower then you may have to tell them to give you a few dates before judging you.
Online dating is addictive so if 3 dates work out delete your online accounts and get her to do the same, removes a lot of trust issues from both sides and is quite satisfying and a relief. So don't sign up for a year !
My partner had only just signed on to Zoosk and POF before I messaged her so she hadn't experienced a lot of this and the exasperation that some women have.
We've been together nearly 11 months now and she moved in 3 months ago. She recently bought a small dog and it lives here with my two cats 🙂
Useful guide to online dating behaviours here :
Amusing video here :
why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy
Hmm.. one of my sailing friends filters out anyone same age or younger, he normally goes for older women and at least ten years older.
Hes has plenty of “successful” dates, some of his choices have been stunning and well balanced and extremely interesting people. He’s dating someone now who is 11 years older, divorced and 2 kids who have flown the nest and she’s got a stunning 5bed house in the remote part of Sussex South Downs, and a disposable income far exceeding his..
I asked him what his criteria was, he said “solvent”
I admire him somewhat, if I was to go dating then I too would probably choose someone older.
Had some fun. Only had one nightmare incident...
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">She turns up. In real life she's a good 2 stone heavier than her profile pics but she's very pretty so I let it pass. She proceeds to get absolutely smashed. She almost starts a fight in the pub with another girl.</span>
She messages the next day and suggests the cinema the following evening. I give her the benefit of the doubt and say yes.
We go to the cinema, she's says virtually nothing before, during or after.
The next day I drop her a message to thank her for the date but I didn't feel a spark and wish her luck.
I then get bombarded with dozens of abusive messages. She's tries calling but I don't answer. She leaves a voicemail and it turns out she's outside my office building in tears. I block her messages and calls. I then start getting messages from fake profiles on the dating site which claim to be her friends but it's clearly her using aliases. They threaten me with all sorts including reporting me to the police.
I unblock her, message her and tell her to bugger off and leave me alone. Reblocked her and reported her to the dating site along with all the aliases and screenshots of the abuse.
That was 3 years ago. I'm sure she's probably in prison now for killing some poor bloke.
On the other had I met the current Mrs at the same time as that debacle and we've been together since with no problems
Useful guide to online dating behaviours here :
A whole world I know nothing about, thankfully!
I don’t envy him in the slightest
I bloody do. You should see the over 50s on PoF! 😆
Met my now wife on PoF.
Comms -quick chats then set up lunchtime/late afternoon dates - that way you both have an "easy out" if it's a no-go, no excruciating long walks or dinner dates with people you don't like after 15mins.
As to pics - Yes @emsz I was one of those guys with nothing but outdoor pictures of me, cause that honestly represents how I like to spend my time and I wanted to meet someone who liked to do this also. Despite this I still got a lot of women messaging me who listed "shopping" and "socialising" as their favourite things to do.
Don't GAS about cars or exotic destinations and never have nor will do take a pic of my todger.
the outdoor clothing and mountain top thing. We figured it was the only place that blokes can get their buddies to take pictures of them without being all "bloke" about it (you bunch of repressed weirdos) or that every other photo of themselves had their ex's in.
Bad dates: I went on a couple with a married woman, before I rumbled here as she'd forgotten to take off her ring, and I noticed (dur) and another where I "may" have been a bit drunk, and apparently I just stared at her tits all night. TBH 1. they were great boobs, and 2. I found out about it through FB, cause she was complaining about me being drunk and a bit starey..My advice, don't have great boobs and wear low cut tops...dur
don’t have great boobs and wear low cut tops…
Bloody well asking for it eh?
Why put something on display if you don't want others to look at it?
I know, right!
I mean your eyes just go there, you can't help it!