[Closed] Thinking about moving out of the city?

Oh the timing 😀

Regrets ? Hmmmm. Apart from not being able to get a take-away. None.

Sure, sometimes I miss the nights in the Sports bars watching Liverpool play... but then I wake the next day and within 2 mins ride on the trails and think "it wasn't so bad watching it at home..."

now that is one attraction weeksy!

It's peaceful, lack of traffic, noise, walks in the evening with my boy in the woods, waking up to hearing birds singing not cars going past the road. Log fires, windows that can be left open, not worrying if the bikes will be stolen.... jeezzzzzzz there's tonnes

Working on the same plan albeit with no kids. Looking to move from Glasgow down to Peebles or Innerleithen. Work is the big challenge. the wife is ok as she works from home or on the road. I'd need to convince my work that I can split my time between home and the office a couple of days a week.

weeksy - Member
Regrets ? Hmmmm. Apart from not being able to get a take-away. None.

This. This is the only thing that has annoyed me about moving from Manchester to the valley where things are steep and free.

ALL I WANT IS A CURRY AT 10pm!!

So I have toast, then ride my bike 50m to dirt the next morning. SO no, no I've not regretted it.

How much more driving would you have to do in order to move? How close would the kids friends live? How many miles would you have to drive for their activities, their education? How many more miles to get the shopping etc?
It's a nice idea and we looked at similar living ideas. We decided that we wanted more time to do what we wanted and less time spent driving around to do those things.
Also - it would seem that you have the most invested in this idea and the rest of your family would stand to lose the most.

I'd say similar to TooTall. I moved from the sticks to the city and I was quite pleasantly surprised how much extra free time it gave me.

The main thing I miss is having a range of shops+bars+restaurants in walking distance, where I am now we've got one small corner shop and a restaurant. Nothing wrong with either of them, but I do miss being able to walk into town on a summer's evening and sit outside a bar watching the world go by. We're not quite 100% dependent on the car, but pretty close.

On the other hand I now have a back garden I can sit in, and listen to the cows mooing in the field behind my house.

Sounds lovely but how fair is it on the kids? At 7 and 10 perhaps that doesn't matter so much but before you know it they'll be in their teens and wanting to spend more time with friends. Even if you drive them everywhere they might still resent you for it, imagine being able to walk/ride to meet your mates or having to be dropped off/picked up by your parents. Which would you prefer?

Sounds lovely but how fair is it on the kids? At 7 and 10 perhaps that doesn't matter so much but before you know it they'll be in their teens and wanting to spend more time with friends. Even if you drive them everywhere they might still resent you for it, imagine being able to walk/ride to meet your mates or having to be dropped off/picked up by your parents. Which would you prefer?

He's talking about moving to a small town, the kids will have plenty of friends I'd have thought.

He's talking about moving to a small town, the kids will have plenty of friends I'd have thought.

Not their current ones though.

Got to live near the trails, wouldn't move back to the city not now. To me there is no greater satisfaction than riding or walking from your front door and being up a hill, by a river or deep in a wood within 10 mins(bike) or 20 mins (walking).

BoardinBob - Member
Working on the same plan albeit with no kids. Looking to move from Glasgow down to Peebles or Innerleithen.

Go for it Bob, you won't regret it, there's growing number of folk moving down here for the riding. I've been in Peebles for over 10 years now and wouldn't move back to Glasgow.

We moved from Edinburgh to NE Scotland (Elgin) when the kids were 9 & 7 (mind you that's where I'm from and so had a built-in friend network). Has worked out OK, mostly (it was also to be nearer my raging parents). It's a long way to the Central Belt for 'stuff' - less of a problem for you possibly. Cultural stuff becomes harder to access, lots of visits to Inverness & Aberdeen for medical appointments suddenly take up best part of a day..

yes an increase in driving is a concern - I might have to shuttle kids around a lot more!

Hopefully the kids would make some new friends in the town, they are near transition point between primary and secondary schooling so there will be some disruption on that area anyway as not all their friends are heading to the same school. all of their extra circular activities would get disrupted though .....

Once on Escape To The Country they moved a couple from Wimbledon to Weybridge. They seemed of cope ok!

My parents moved out to the country when I was 11 - imagine growing up as a teenager with no transport (the nearest bus stop was 3 miles away, the bus ran every 2 hours), having to be taken and collected by mummy or daddy from the weekly disco in the nearby village 5 miles away - not exactly what I would have chosen!!
A small town sounds a much more sensible idea of considering kids.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Regrets, wished you'd done it years ago etc?

Did it 6 years ago - no regrets at all but - theres isn't a worse city to get in out of than Aberdeen - if you want to move out then move 200 miles out rather than just 20 😉

When I decided to move it was on the basis of space for my money - I'd been freelance for a few years and had a home office, when my GF also went freelance we were both working at home in a tiny flat, in an office where you could touch all the walls without getting out of your seat - so we looked at places that would give us the most space for the same rent as where we lived and then drove in and out of glasgow from those places to see that was an acceptable quantity and quality of travel. We figured there were only two or three days a week when either of us actually needed to be Glasgow for work but they'd be long hard days when we did them so a long drive wasn't a problem but a frustrating or fractious drive would be.

We ended up swapping a tiny one bed flat for a spacious 3 bed estate building for the same rent. I take my datum for travel time as the Kingston bridge, which is 30 mile and 40 minutes away by car. It adds less to my travel time around glasgow than it seems as living centrally it could take as long to get away from your house as it did to get where you were going so really those miles only add about 15- 20 mins to the beginning and end of each day. Now its unusual that either of us have to go up as often as once a week.

We decided that we wanted more time to do what we wanted and less time spent driving around to do those things.

Not being a parent my experience will differ but its sort of the opposite - we're terrible for taking time off, we didn't take 1 weekend off last year, we haven't had a proper holiday since 2007. When we lived in the city if we didn't grasp the day and escape early, with a plan, then the time to get out and the time to get back meant it wasn't worth it. Now at the drop of a hat we can step out of the door and be on holiday for an hour then carry on with our work.

What are the schools like out there? Would your kids get the education they need to get out of Aberdeenshire? What would the move give them if you've already said it would trash their activities.

Speaking as someone who grew up in (very) rural Ireland and currently living on the outskirts of Belfast with a young family I am looking forward to the time when I can move back to the country side. I can't put my finger on any one specific reason but I guess it'd be down to quality of life in general.

Space, freedom, peace, quite. There's a fine line between convenience and laziness and pretty much anything you could want can be got online these days anyway. Country pubs ime have a better atmosphere, too so your social life need not be totally dead either.

I moved to Arbuthnott (suburbs of Inverbervie) from Aberdeen and really liked it. 3 miles or so to town (pubs, supermarket, awesome chip shop), another 12 to Stonehaven, last bus to Bervie about 10:30 IIRC, so some planning involved in nights out. Left job, was unemployed for a while and company car went back, but 3 or 15 miles is cyclable. Bus service was ok anyway.
Did I like it? I loved it, but I never really liked Aberdeen anyway.

What are the schools like out there? Would your kids get the education they need to get out of Aberdeenshire? What would the move give them if you've already said it would trash their activities.

Schooling should be better - no guarantee of course!

Yes we would need to get the kids enrolled in new activities - having spoken to friends in the area there seems to be plenty on offer.

What are the schools like out there? Would your kids get the education they need to get out of Aberdeenshire? What would the move give them if you've already said it would trash their activities.

Now you see, I seem to be in the minority when considering this, and maybe I am but has everyone who's done this just have a "bah they'll be fine" attitude to it? I feel its a bit selfish of me to pursue my dream and crush thier current little lifestyle, unless I'd found compelling evidence that I was bettering their lives for them.

but I never really liked Aberdeen anyway.

Yes this is one reason for the move...I travel a lot I hate the fact that as my home, and the alleged oil capital of Europe, the city has seen no progress in my lifetime! I'm pretty ashamed of the place!

..and sick of paying for the privilege of living here. As an example the same identical property from one of the national builders is over £200K LESS near Edinburgh than in Aberdeen

We moved from Edinburgh to Newcastle (N. Ireland) when our eldest was nearly 1. We had a small two bedroom flat, with a kitchen that you could fit one person in. ElJuderino works from home, so needs space for her work stuff. We looked at 3 bedroom flats in Edinburgh but couldn't afford one anywhere that we would feel safe getting the night bus home on. We thought about moving outside of Edinburgh but thought, if I have to commute and miss all the good things about living in Edinburgh, then we don't have to limit ourselves to near~ish Edinburgh.

Jude comes from Newcastle, so that was the first choice. It is kind of the opposite of Edinburgh though, no real night life (but kids make that harder anyway), but lots of outdoorsy things to do. We lived with the in-laws for a year while our flat sold, then rented for a year while we looked for somewhere to buy (and produce baby 2). We now live in a nice big house, with a great garden in a good area. I also work from home now too (spent 1 year commuting to Belfast) and we both have our own offices.

The only things I miss are my old band (who are doing really well without me :() and good places to eat. I can't even get a good Pizza in the winter.

I wouldn't want to be here if I was in the 16 to 28 age range though, not enough to do, and not enough people to do it with. But the internet means I don't have to worry about overpriced local shops with crap stock.

There is great riding here too. I can see my house in this video 🙂

I'm pretty ashamed of the place!

All the reasons seem to be about you and you've raised nothing but negatives for the kids so far. What do you want for your kids? Do you actually want them to do better?

As far as progress goes - most places feel like that when you live there. Do you think progress moves quicker in a more rural location?

Schooling should be better

Well have you researched it? What are pass marks like? Where do the kids go after school?

Stewart Lee's view
http://www.cloudy.ec/v/d32ac4699095a

Trouble is the country is being ruined by all the people moving to it from The City 😉

TooTall - Member
I'm pretty ashamed of the place!
All the reasons seem to be about you and you've raised nothing but negatives for the kids so far. What do you want for your kids? Do you actually want them to do better?

As far as progress goes - most places feel like that when you live there. Do you think progress moves quicker in a more rural location?

Schooling should be better
Well have you researched it? What are pass marks like? Where do the kids go after school?

Mate, this is the second thread today where the thoughts and feelings of your spouse and kids are scant regard compared to the desire to move somewhere else that includes more riding for the op's, and what has been described here before by others as "typically STW". Calls for evidence, which might be useful info for those of us who would one day consider such a move have materialised nothing, other than "great trails" "piece and quiet" "mooing cows" and so forth. I'm very wary of the "grass is greener" attitude until I've seen something compelling.

Now, I'm not denying any of those things are something I might look forward to myself, nor the attraction of wide open spaces, trust in one's neighbours or a lesser capatalist lifestyle, but they seem a bit noncomparative to my kids happiness in the world I currently live in compared to the great unknown,

Just sayin like, I won't be responding to any subsequent flaming because I wrote this as an observation not an attempt to create an argument. What I'd really like is for someone to write down a balanced family view of a rural lifestyle for comparison to those of us who live in cities looking outward.

Now you see, I seem to be in the minority when considering this, and maybe I am but has everyone who's done this just have a "bah they'll be fine" attitude to it? I feel its a bit selfish of me to pursue my dream and crush thier current little lifestyle, unless I'd found compelling evidence that I was bettering their lives for them.

Basically because most of us who've done it know they'll be fine 🙂 We moved our girls from one school to another this year, because we felt the education would be better, and after a short period of adaptation they're doing... fine. Loads of new friends, and they're not particularly missing the old ones.

I grew up in a village 22 miles from Aberdeen and from my teens on I hated it. All my friends lived in town and there was no public transport to speak of so until you can drive it's a prison. I rode my bike all the time but if I hadn't I'd have joined in with the other kids' main/only activity which was sitting outside the spar. And when they get old enough, sitting in their Novas in the car park opposite the spar. Personally I wouldn't even consider it , especially if the kids aren't keen, but only you know your family.

Kryton
Mate, this is the second thread today where the thoughts and feelings of your spouse and kids are scant regard compared to the desire to move somewhere else that includes more riding for the op's, and what has been described here before by others as "typically STW". Calls for evidence, which might be useful info for those of us who would one day consider such a move have materialised nothing, other than "great trails" "piece and quiet" "mooing cows" and so forth. I'm very wary of the "grass is greener" attitude until I've seen something compelling.

Kryton, no one will ever be able to give you compelling evidence for this because it's subjective. Just as I think a million pounds is a massive amount of money and you don't opinions will vary. Also, and this isn't meant to be flaming, but you may not be receptive to any evidence no matter how persuasive - ie "great trails" [i]"piece and quiet" "mooing cows" and so forth"[/i]. One thing you should consider though is that when someone suggests this, or asks about this, it's not always going to simply be the man of the house wanting to do more mountain biking.

Now, I'm not denying any of those things are something I might look forward to myself, nor the attraction of wide open spaces, trust in one's neighbours or a lesser capatalist lifestyle, but they seem a bit noncomparative to my kids happiness in the world I currently live in compared to the great unknown,

From my perspective, I'm the parent. I'm the adult and I know what's best for my kids, even if it might not be what they say they want. I can understand how for you, if you've always lived in cities that the countryside might be the great unknown, but for me and many others there's nothing unknown about it.

Just sayin like, I won't be responding to any subsequent flaming because I wrote this as an observation not an attempt to create an argument. What I'd really like is for someone to write down a balanced family view of a rural lifestyle for comparison to those of us who live in cities looking outward.

I could wax lyrical about country life here for quite a while. I could write you an essay, I just don't think you'd seriously listen to it at this point. Instead I'll give you one tiny simple example, instead of a massive over view. When I take my kids to stay with their grandparents they sleep till nearly 10am. In the city the traffic and general city noise wakes them about 6am. Minor detail, but it allows me to get up and enjoy my porridge and watch the news without two screaming toddlers going crazy.

I grew up in the boonies. My wife grew up in a town.

She wants to move out into the boonies, I want to stay in town.

Ah balls, I can't be arsed.

20-40 miles isn't a /massive/ distance. That's less than an hour drive each way and on the basis there is only a few days a week that one of you will have to drive IMO it's a no brainer for the improvement in accommodation that you'll get (and it's probably time to sell, I can see the Aberdeen oil-gravy-train rolling to a standstill over the next few decades).

My wife moved into my flat in Edinburgh, we then sold her flat in Stirling, sold my flat in Edinburgh and moved out 20 miles to Linlithgow. Although not mega peaceful, it's a really good balance of amenities and outdoor stuff to do. I also have a 20-40 mile / day bike commute depending on how I'm feeling (I usually get the train home, so ordinarily 25 miles / day). It's also out of Edinburgh on the way to the big hills - there is an abundance of supreme riding 1-1.5 hours drive from here, or in terms of road riding there is absolutely loads from the door. I always got fed up trying to 'escape' the city to a point where things really started to grate.

In short, we both love it and won't look back.

Done a bit of everything but with no kids.

Some of the points like "I couldn't live without trails from my door" etc. need to be balanced with I spend 1-2hrs every day driving to and from work. I lived within riding distance of Lee Quarry at one point but a commute from hell never inspired me to head out there when I got home. I'd rather have an easy commute and travel a bit for the fun stuff.

Smaller country towns can be great or hell holes, for kids growing up they can be a bit isolating it's also difficult if the "wrong crowd" turn out to be the majority - someone has already mentioned the hanging round the spa as the activity of choice. Also you will spend a lot of time driving them round.

The last place I lived in the lakes was 2 miles from town, the sort of distance you would walk home across a city but on unlit roads with no path we never did. It just took the edge of social life sometimes.

I must be missing something here really. I don't get why kids need the town aspect. My lad is 6 and has loads of school friends, they have regular evenings/sleepovers yet in his class there are only 19 kids. In the school there's not much more than 100. I certainly don't feel he's missing out. I don't get why because we live in a village location he'll have to travel for a social life. Surely if all the other friends live in the same (or closeby) village then there's no issue at all ?
Maybe we have really found the place of dreams to live for us and him, I'm not sure. But the picture some of you paint is that the kids growing up in anything less than a town/city are in some way deprived.

We also chose our current location as both the primary and senior school are Outstanding with Ofsted, the secondary school is exceptionally well thought of and performs brilliantly in results etc.

I think back to the years I spent in Reading/Didcot and whilst in some ways it was great.... I don't miss a second of it.

I don't get why because we live in a village location he'll have to travel for a social life. Surely if all the other friends live in the same (or closeby) village then there's no issue at all ?

I certainly wasn't saying it's going to be worse but it's going to be a big change and it's not all fun when can't do stuff because nobody can give you a lift somewhere.

You dont need to move 20/40 miles to get out o town

I grew up near dundee.

Moved to aberdeen ready embrace city life - pubs/clubs/comedy/music

Truth be told- theres not much to write home about in aberdeen of any of those.

I lasted 8 months before moving out. Went to auchenblae- that is in your 20/40 miles away and that was too far away.

Moved to durris- in a rental. Distance better.

Have settled on the outskirts of culter - about 3 miles from the village but still within city limits. Close enough to work . 2 mile walk to a regular bus service/night bus and a direct cycle path to town on the railway line.

Get out of the city though at all costs aberdeen city to me is hellish. Like you say the lack of progress is embarassing!

Some of the points like "I couldn't live without trails from my door" etc. need to be balanced with I spend 1-2hrs every day driving to and from work. I lived within riding distance of Lee Quarry at one point but a commute from hell never inspired me to head out there when I got home. I'd rather have an easy commute and travel a bit for the fun stuff.

The debate about the lot of your children, especially as they become teenagers and beyond is one I can identify with. I grew up on a farm in rural Leicestershire, and I had little freedom without lifts- I could ride out on my bike in the day light, but I wouldn't have been riding to/from anything after dark, and it was 4 miles to anywhere worth going.

I now live in a village in Oxfordshire, with (currently very muddy) chilterns trails about 100 yards behind the house, views of the river/cows/deer etc out the front window. I'm also about 300 metres the other way from the train station which will get me into Oxford in 40mins or London in 50.

I've lived in plenty of cities, but I am much more comfortable with rural living. I probably have a better social life now, partly through my kids being in the village primary school. I'm also pretty confident my kids will have more freedom to go places as they get older, so it doesn't have to be one or the other. This may be very dependent on the part of the country you're in though...

Edit- weeksy, having stalked your profile just now, I suspect the 'place of dreams' you live in might be the next stop up the line from mine...? 😉

I moved from North London to a small village outside Bishops Stortford in Herts 14 years ago and it's really pissing me off. There are pluses but commuting 40 miles each way for work isn't one of them. I've been trying to talk wifey into swapping our current house for a flat in London and house the country for the last two years. I almost made it too, the house was on the market last year but she got cold feet so it came off.

The main plus sides for me are, great road cycling (wifey is a keen rider as well). Good circle of friends we've built up.

The negatives, crap off road riding. The commute to work. The cost of commuting.

Things that don't bother me, the local pub is OK but I rarely use it. The nearest shop is five miles away.

As somone said above living in the country doesn't have to mean 20-30 miles way from a town or city. We used to live in rural Wiltshire in the North Wessex Downs Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty 12 miles from Swindon. 15 mins into Swindon or Marlborough by car so we spent no more time ferrying kids around than we would have living in a large city.

By all means take your kids into consideration but at the end of the day if you are living somewhere that makes you unhappy just because of the kids then you may end up resenting them.

I grew up near dundee.

Moved to aberdeen ready embrace city life - pubs/clubs/comedy/music

Truth be told- theres not much to write home about in aberdeen of any of those.

I lasted 8 months before moving out. Went to auchenblae- that is in your 20/40 miles away and that was too far away.

eh? Are you me?
Anyway, one thing about moving out of Aberdeen is getting back in again can be a right pain in ar5e. Coming in from the south, roadworks in the Portlethen area were a complete and utter nightmare and I'd imagine the A90 north and Deeside roads would be as much fun. Motorbike was brilliant solution there though.
That said, summer mornings and evenings pootling up and down the A92 coast road were a fine start and end to the day.
EDIT BTW I always like Stonehaven, not quite country but a lovey wee toon with some excellent facilities considering the size of the place.