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Snoring being a given....
I have a vague memory of having a weird dream last night, shouting "Who are you?" in the dream, sleepily wondering if I'd said it out loud, then going back to sleep.
Apparently I had shouted in my sleep - a first I think - woken up MrsMC who slapped me, then I rolled over and started snoring, causing her to give up and get up and go downstairs just before 5am, while I slept in till 7.
I'm not saying the atmosphere is frosty, but I nearly posted this on the menopause thread....
What have you done?
Ive done nothing but did once stopp my ex wife from sleepwalking out of the front door with the car keys in her hand 😳
Farting so loudly in bed that MrsNobbingsford could here it from downstairs. Whilst I took that as a compliment, she apparently hadn't meant it in that way...
Not in my sleep but my ex wife once stopped speaking to me for 3 weeks because of something I'd done in her dream!
She still won't tell me what it was 25 years later. 😂
It didn’t affect anyone else but I took a big chunk out of my tongue last night. Woke up in pain with a mouthful of blood. It’s really sore this morning.
Laughing too loud when Mrs FH farted so loud,she woke herself up.
😆 🤣
In my dreams, I'm able to wheelie brilliantly. Wish I could do that now I'm awake.
Playing football in my dreams and played a cracking crossfield pass only to be woken up by my wife as its her I've kicked her. She had the bruise to show for it.
roughly 20 years ago I jumped out of bed punched my girlfriend in the mouth and stood at the end of the bed in fighting stance wondering wtf had just happened.
thankfully I'd pulled it as soon as it made contact so she just had a bit of a fat lip. in my defence I was fighting in a lot of tournaments at the time so was a bit wired....
caused massive paranoia it might happen again but never did. we've been married 13 years now!
Two incidents at quite different ends of the spectrum...
On the last night of our honeymoon, my wife had to shepherd me back into our room when I'd been apparently walking the corridors of the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong completely starkers. She brings this up frequently at dinner parties.
When I was 15 my mum was in the last stages of terminal cancer, trying to keep living my life (it had been a long journey) I went on a summer trip to visit my cousins in the states. When the plane landed, the woman sitting next to me asked if everything was ok. I said "yeah fine". She told me that I'd woken her up in the middle of the flight to tell her that my mum had just died. When I got through security, my cousins were waiting to pick me up and tell me that she had indeed died during the night.
Not me, but my ex-forces submariner brother nearly suffocated his wife trying to put 'her breathing apparatus' on her due to whatever incident was happening in his dream. Apparently he was pushing down on her face really hard onto the pillow and shouting that she needed to get it on. That must have been scary.
I've woken up a few times in a mood with my wife due to something horrible she's done to me in a dream 🤣 To be clear she's not at all nasty and I love her to bits!
Not in my sleep but my ex wife once stopped speaking to me for 3 weeks because of something I’d done in her dream!
Snap! Grumpy with me for days because apparently I'd cheated on her in her dream.
I'm often in trouble for cheating on my other half in her dream.
I think being in trouble for stuff she's dreamed is fairly routine now. If she knew what I did in MY dreams, then I'd really be in trouble.
Sleep twitches - I seem to go through phases of this, however I also am old so regularly have 40 winks in my chair of an evening or weekend. And while a sleep twitch in bed causes great annoyance for waking her up, one that i do in the chair particularly with a sleep shout (they often seem to involve falling or tripping over) seems to be the funniest thing alive, as I startle myself awake too and then wonder what happened.
Saying an ex girlfriends name. That’s it, no context, I just said ‘Sue’ apparently. Of course, in my GFs mind, I still have feelings for her now.
Then, a few weeks ago, I said ‘have you got the dog in?’ . We havent got a dog. But Sue has. That didnt go down well either.
Oh, and Sue was 13 years ago. Ive seen her maybe 4 times since shopping etc. But my GF is now convinced I’m seeing her.
Dreamt I was fighting with a bouncer in a night club, my punches were just softly glancing off his face, so I grabbed both his ears and gave him the old Glasgow Kiss.
It was the contact with the head that woke me from the dream, a really sickening crack. Well, that and the screams
Took about 2 days to convince my GF (now wife) about the dream
My wife was mad with me one morning, I'd apparently done something, then she realised it was a dream.
Playing football in my dreams and played a cracking crossfield pass only to be woken up by my wife as its her I’ve kicked her.
definitely kicked a wall in a similar situation
Recently dreamt that the GF decided to adopt a couple of kids. Was fun for a bit before I had this feeling my life was over and I was no longer able to do what I wanted.
Odd feeling of resentment towards her before I realised it was just a dream.
I’ve done quite a bit of the pissed/naked/sleepwalking thing in hotels, usually urinating in some odd places - wardrobes are a favourite. 😳
Dreams are odd because they can feel real. Not really what the OP asked but a few days ago I dreamt that there was a burglar with a huge knife in our bedroom, I jumped out of bed and tackled him and was trying not to get stabbed when I woke up IRL from a massive adrenaline dump. Logically I know it's just my brain plain silly buggers but it left me shook up for most of the morning.
Got back into the wrong bed in a twin room I was sharing (not coincidentally for the last time) with a ski buddy.
Pissed in the bin (that was in the exact same relative location to my bed as the toilet had been the previous week) in a shared room on a skiing holiday, where I didn't know any of my room mates.
After that, when I dreamt at an ex-girlfriend's house that I'd pissed all over her sideboard, I was very relieved to find that it was completely dry the next morning.
Those were all over a decade ago, so fingers crossed.
Current sleep science thinking is that dreams are our way of processing memories and emotions, moving them from our immediate to our long term memory and giving us some distance from them.
Therefore if we're woken in our dreams, although we may know that they're not real, the emotions generated very much are.
It also explains why, if you've had alcohol the night before it can be quite hard to let go of things, and if you've had a skinful, you can feel the fear.
Pissed in the bin
An ex's dad's party trick after a few beers was to sleepwalk and piss into his slippers. His wife would tell us the next day "for god's sake, Keith was in the wardrobe again last night."
Glad I'm not the only one getting grief for my extra-martial excursions, which only happen in her dreams/nitemares. She woke up told me about it then punched me...
She woke up told me about it then punched me…
Just imagine if the roles were reversed in that situation?
My mrs was angry with me one morning because i'd been talking in my sleep about a girl called Elaine. If she'd not misheard and had known I was dreaming about a girl called Helen she'd have been ****ing livid 🙂
Never subjected my OH to GBH thankfully (beyond the usual twitch kicks) but I have been given an earful for groping her in my sleep. Not so much for the groping part as opposed to waking her up.
i’d been talking in my sleep about a girl called Elaine. If she’d not misheard and had known I was dreaming about a girl called Helen
I think you should correct her and film the reaction.
About 30 years ago, living with gf who would become wife, I'd had a boozy night out with the boys, then came home and smoked (my last ever) jazz fag.
The dream I had was of wallpapering the bedroom then peeling it all off again to find the door so I could go to the loo.
In reality I had only peeled off one whole strip then stepped out and pee'd down from the top stair. She still married me though.
Saying an ex girlfriends name. That’s it, no context, I just said ‘Sue’ apparently. Of course, in my GFs mind, I still have feelings for her now
Surely you could have just said Sue is boy
In about 2003 I had a flat of my own in the centre of a quaint market town. Much boozing happened, but I’d normally try to constrain things on a Friday night to keep things even for rugby on Saturday.
One Friday I must have let my guard down. I woke up stupidly late on Saturday morning with wet sheets. Assuming I had sweated a lot I stripped the bed, but then I opened the blanket chest which held most of my clothes… how on earth had I sweated in there as well?
Pissed up the gas fire in my mum's caravan.
Pissed up the gas fire in my mum’s caravan.
Did you have to burn it?
One morning many years ago after I woke Julie said " are you going to clean up that mess?" I was very confused until she told me I had got up in the middle of the night and pissed in the wastepaper basket
According to mrs b the "Incessant breathing in and out."
I don't have to be asleep for my wife to find my continued existence beyond exasperating at times. On days like that not only is breathing contentious, the way I didn't breathe would also be.
Fortunately those days are rare and most of the time I score somewhere beyond tolerable, sometimes verging on likeable, always with a side of too late to do anything about now anyway 😉
I don’t have to be asleep for my wife to find my continued existence beyond exasperating at times. On days like that not only is breathing contentious, the way I didn’t breathe would also be.
Oh, that's apparently the other thing I do in my sleep, just stop breathing for a bit. Which is better than her, she just doesn't breathe at all.
One night MrsP was dreaming she was driving a car and went for a big gear change. What she was holding was NOT a gearstick.
I assume you tried to convince her she was on a long, winding country road with lots of changes needed rather than try to wake her up?
Playing football in my dreams and played a cracking crossfield pass only to be woken up by my wife as its her I’ve kicked her.
I'd been playing tennis, did an ace serve & consequently belted my gf in the stomach
That was clearly your fault.
Under-rated comment.
There’s a great clip on the Daily Mash about a woman who couldn’t forgive her husband for something he did in her dream. Wish I was clever enough to post it up.
Not sure if I did it wrong, but I did sleepwalk off the roof of a first floor flat, landing on a concrete path, whilst on holiday. Suffered a lot of broken bones/injuries, still have no recollection of the incident but still suffer from the injuries 30 years later. Something that makes me both smile and wince at the same time.
Dreams are odd because they can feel real. Not really what the OP asked but a few days ago I dreamt that there was a burglar with a huge knife in our bedroom, I jumped out of bed and tackled him and was trying not to get stabbed when I woke up IRL from a massive adrenaline dump. Logically I know it’s just my brain plain silly buggers but it left me shook up for most of the morning.
I had very similar, unfortunately the dream was timed perfectly and possibly because of my girlfriend returning to bed after useing the loo. Apparently I leapt up and launched myself at the doorway, whilst shouting.
I launched her across the hallway and into the spare bedroom, thankfully unhurt. That terrified both of us.
Hopefully it left that much of a mark on my subconscious it won’t happen again. She could have easily have been hurt or just a bit to the left and ended up down the stairs.
She now makes a point of waking me up rather than sneaking about. Possibly revenge, possibly self preservation.
Some friends, husband and wife: wife slapped the husband when she woke up as she dreamed that he'd had an affair 😄
I don’t have to be asleep for my wife to find my continued existence beyond exasperating at times. On days like that not only is breathing contentious, the way I didn’t breathe would also be.
I'm the OP, and it's been one of those days.....
Still, early alarm to go and do a club ride away day, sure MrsMC will appreciate it....
I keep misplacing my bike. Locked up outside a shopping center that gets larger and larger and i forget where i locked it.
A friend once told me while on his parents yacht, got up, had a piss and was awoken by his mother. Seems he was pissing on her face.
I regularly talk or shout in my sleep apparently.
Also managed to kick & punch my Wife whilst asleep and dreaming.......
Last night apparently I shouted 'OI!' really loudly down her ear.......
I jumped up, switched on the light, whipped off the duvet because I had to hunt down the large snake lurking at the bottom of the bed. All a bit bewildering for my wife at 3am in the morning in a small terraced house in Hertfordshire. I still can’t account for that.
Not me (thank god) but a friend and his wife temporarily moved into her parents house while they were having some building work done.
On more than one occasion he was caught sleepwalking by his in-laws, trying to pee in their wardrobe.
Father in law was having a dream he was playing for Sunderland in the FA Cup final, he was in the box and a cross was sent over to him so he jumped and went for the header, right into the mother in laws face.
This was years ago, before I met the wife, but I laughed my head off when he first told me the story.
My step dad was the man from the Pru. Back in ye olden days I would have to take messages as people could only contact him by phoning our home phone number.
I took a message from a man regarding his wife’s life insurance claim .
He had dreamt she was a guard in a Japanese prisoner of war camp and had strangled her in his sleep.
Im a really active sleeper. Presumably all sorts of dreams but I never remember them
Ive ended up inside the duvet cover. I frequently have fight with pillows hence having 5 on the bed just for me. I have to find them all every morning. Often across the bed or diagonal when I wake up
the only way Mrs TJ and I could share a bed was with a 7.5 ft wide bed and two double duvets with 7 pillows. That way she had a sporting chance of a couple of feet of bed, a pillow and a bit of a duvet while I dealt with the demons in the rest of the bed 🙂
I have been given an earful for groping her in my sleep.
"In your sleep." Right.
no context, I just said ‘Sue’ apparently.
Should've told her you were dreaming about taking legal action.
One morning many years ago after I woke Julie said ” are you going to clean up that mess?” I was very confused until she told me I had got up in the middle of the night and pissed in the wastepaper basket
Some years ago a one-night stand was royally annoyed with me the following morning. I was like "what's wrong?" She'd pursued me for years and I'd finally caved and railed her six ways from Sunday for little other reason than to get her off my case. I thought she'd be lying there smug if slightly bruised.
Apparently after two bottles of red I'd got up in the middle of the night during a refractory period, gone for a wee and, well, missed completely. Following the previous night's escapades it wasn't exactly the context I wanted to hear the phrase "cart horse" be deployed.
I have decent dreams.
Once upon a long time ago I was on a biking trip to the lake District. 6 of us ended up staying in a static caravan.
I dreamt that someone had entered the caravan, so I lept out of bed and roared at the top of my voice in order to scare the intruder off.
Woke everyone up. I apologized, went back to sleep. A few hours later when I woke up I found the rest of the group day in the living room trying to come to terms with what had happened a few hours ago.
Referred to as the screamadelica event.
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Ended up having a decent cut in my shin from exiting my bed at high speed and smashing into the drawers near by. Had to wrap my leg in cling film and go back to sleep as an early shift was the next day.
Cycled to the drop in centre to check out the damage later in the day as I thought stitches might be needed. The nurse checked the wound for dirt, I had to convince her that I'd fallen out of bed.
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I've prevented a few imaginary objects falling onto me by launching myself towards walls and wardrobes during decent dreams.
Better safe than sorry 😐
On days like that not only is breathing contentious, the way I didn’t breathe would also be.
I used to get it in the neck from the ex when i was breathing (or snoring) too loudly, then she'd also have a go at me when i stopped. She though i was just being an arsehole by stopping breathing (deliberately) to scare her.
Turns out i was actually stopping breathing, and my sleeping body was trying not to die.
Ah well.
When my wife was pregnant she suffered really bad reflux which kept her awake most nights. She was still working so was properly exhausted. Luckily, I'm a champion sleeper. She woke me up one night to complain, quite forcefully, that I looked too smug whilst I was asleep.
I've also been guilty of breathing too much.
Last holiday sat bolt upright in the middle of the night and shouted "Oh f*** there's someone broken into my room" then a few seconds later "Sorry Mark, forgot I was sharing a room with you" and went straight back to sleep. Don't think he was as quick getting back to sleep! Forgot about it in the morning until he told the story at the breakfast table.