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Sometimes i can sit at my desk and my old boy will be whistling, due to the urine boiling deep in my bladder.
Such thing include, but are not limited to....
Noisy eating - One particular co-working makes such unexplainable noises whilst eating. They also seem to be able to buy the crunchiest bread on the plant. Another is one of those people who crunch their crisps as they go in, not once in... and they start on them at 8:15 in the morning.
Another noise one.... making clicking noises with their mouth. Only a new phenomenon, but freaking annoying nonetheless.
A senior member wearing headphones as it 'helps them concentrate', but its a ball ache to get their attention anytime you need to communicate. Its an office of 5 or 6 people, not a rave!
Folks asking you to do something that they can do - Yeah ask me, so i will email the same person you can email, for me to get an answer, to then relay it back to you... you tit.
Being late - hey if your going to be 5 minutes late, you may as well be 15 minutes late and rock up with a caffe-latte-mocha-chocka-shota-cocka and a pastry.
An already mentioned co-worker doesnt take lunch at lunch time, they have it an hour or so after. I dont get why an entire office and factory can manage to have lunch at midday (slightly early, but thats how it is), yet this one person cant. I used to feel guilty disturbing them, now i dont care, as its not lunch time!!
A boss not knowing the value of the parts we sell, so they ask me, a few times a week, every week.... write them down!!
Another co-worker not reading emails, as they cant be bothered, so then they have to ask questions that the answer to are in the email, despite this being pointed out to them.
And the list rumbles on........
Am i having a bad day??? Possibly!
Share your frustrations to make me feel better! 😀
Have you considered changing jobs?
Have you ever considered it’s not them, it’s you…
Steal teaspoons
A senior member wearing headphones as it ‘helps them concentrate’, but its a ball ache to get their attention anytime you need to communicate.
People who interrupt me when I'm trying to work, despite having to resort to wearing headphones to dissuade them and they still won't leave me alone.
An already mentioned co-worker doesnt take lunch at lunch time, they have it an hour or so after.
People who leave for lunch when everyone else is also out, leaving the office unmanned rather than providing cover.
I used to feel guilty disturbing them, now i dont care, as its not lunch time!!
People who interrupt your lunch break with "I know you're on lunch but..."
For me it's not so much what they do as what they don't do, which is almost everything they are paid to do, lazy wastes of space👿
General Lucifer is that you?
A colleague of mine,
1: started a rumour that i had driven a company vehicle into a company directors car.
(No accident of any kind happened)
2:started a rumour that a colleague (who, according to him was 45) had a stroke and was lucky to survive.
(She had a migraine, she’s 34, and she looks it)
3:routinely complains about being passed over for a job within the company, that he didn’t apply for. Also complains that another guy didn’t even get an interview, despite also NOT applying for the same job.
Persists with this horse*hit, even after being warned by management for it.
What a dick.
Some people.
People who interrupt your lunch break with “I know you’re on lunch but…”
this. A million times this
Aha things that boil my piss with work colleagues...
Emails. Everything is a ****ing email.
I'm mobile so am either driving or working.
I've had an email to ask me to attend a site that's on my way home.
Of course I don't see that email until I get home grrr.
A phone call is almost always quicker, easier and legal for me to answer, or at least acknowledge so I can stop and talk, rather than stab angrily at a crappy smartphone.
No paper trail I guess.
It could be a fear of me telling them to get off their fat arse and check the shelf in the stores for the doodad they're asking me if we hold in stock when how the **** will I know sat in traffic in central London.
Copying the boss into an email about a possible error I've made, then not copying the boss into the email when it turns out it's an office **** up .
If I'm being picked up by a colleague for a job, I'll be watching for their arrival and out the door.
If it's the other way round, I don't expect to have to phone them when outside, then wait 10 mins.
The list goes on
Another co-worker not reading emails, as they cant be bothered, so then they have to ask questions that the answer to are in the email, despite this being pointed out to them.
In the relatively early days of office email (actually something called Lotus Notes), a colleague used to get up from his desk, lumber heavily to one of the two computer workstations in the office/lab and laboriously and loudly type an email (two finger typing).
He'd then get up and lumber back to his desk. After a little while, the process would be repeated as he went back to check the emails. In the (usual) event of a non-response, he'd sigh heavily and lumber off to the next door lab to actually talk to the person he'd emailed 30 minutes previously.
It was an effective way of wasting time, I'll give him that.
Emails. Everything is a **** email.
I’m mobile so am either driving or working.
I’ve had an email to ask me to attend a site that’s on my way home.
Of course I don’t see that email until I get home grrr.
Why "grr" rather than "oh well"? It's their fault and their loss.
I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.
I work in an open plan office the acoustics are dreadful there’s no soundproofing so there are few folk who speak so load you can’t hear yourself think but they refuse to use conference rooms
Why “grr” rather than “oh well”? It’s their fault and their loss.
Because I then have to make the choice of a long day or letting the client down.
Because I then have to make the choice of a long day or letting the client down.
It's not you letting the client down.
Posties are paid hourly, they get paid meal relief according to how long their shift lasts, yet we have (often newcomers, but also some dinosaurs) who come in and work early for upto ~90mins free; don't take or account for their meal relief; don't claim overtime for going past their contract hours...
While duties get bigger; duties don't all get covered everyday; overall workload increases; we all get older and our bodies fall apart well before retirement age etc.
People who choose a window seat, and then close the blinds because “it’s too bright” so plunging the rest of the office into gloom. Don’t sit next to the damn window then !!!
Walk into the room I'm working in, crank the heating up to 30 degrees (because she's "always cold") and then walk out again. 20minutes later I work out why I'm sweating so much.
My pet hate is the bastards that leave everthing at their arse. Leave dirty dishes on the draining board. Leave paper towels on the draining board (right next to the bin). Leave ready meal trays on the draining board (right next to the bin). Don't empty the water cooler spill tray. Don't clean their crumbs, sauce or lasagne off the table when they're done. I could see the point but most of the ones that do it are never bloody away from the place.
Noisy eating – One particular co-working makes such unexplainable noises whilst eating. They also seem to be able to buy the crunchiest bread on the plant.
Ever considered that the solution may be
wearing headphones as it ‘helps them concentrate’
A colleague of mine,
1: started a rumour that i had driven a company vehicle into a company directors car.
(No accident of any kind happened)
2:started a rumour that a colleague (who, according to him was 45) had a stroke and was lucky to survive.
(She had a migraine, she’s 34, and she looks it)
3:routinely complains about being passed over for a job within the company, that he didn’t apply for. Also complains that another guy didn’t even get an interview, despite also NOT applying for the same job.
Persists with this horse*hit, even after being warned by management for it.
What a dick.
Some people.
Surname isn't Morgan is it? Had one that did that until he retired, would start all sorts of rumours and even tell folk shit to their face. How he left without his face being concave I'll never know.
we have (often newcomers, but also some dinosaurs) who come in and work early for upto ~90mins free
We have this phenomenon as well. When I started, everyone was in for 20 to the hour latest, half past at the earliest. If you were in the changing rooms before 20 past the hour you got a bollocking.
Now, people seem to be coming in as early as ten past the hour. Oh but they'll be getting on with work you say! No they aren't. You can't, unless there is a specific job that needs someone (like a tanker delivery) and only then after you've had a setting to work. No, they are there, for free. They say it's so they can get a cuppa before the meeting and get sorted but no, it takes 5 minutes to log on and synchronise the tablets and in that time you can check whatever progpoganda or uninteresting IT alerts have been issued since you were last in. That leaves you 10 minutes to make a cup of tea or coffee. Okay, on their head be it. But no, now I'M LATE because I come in at a sensible time and the prick waiting to go home has been sat for half an hour. Not my problem, you're paid to the hour, suck it up.
It’s not you letting the client down.
I get your point but keeping clients is helpful for future pay packets.
(Not a massive company)
@n0b0dy0ftheg0at gotta few of them in our DO too. They just don't seem to grasp what they are doing to the expected workloads which they then moan about and don't get me started on the runners. Now I don't hang about when on delivery but I take every minute of my break and claim every minute of overtimewhich I'd rather not be doing in the first place.
I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.
I turned down a meeting just last week as it was during my lunchhour, sod that 🙂
It’s not so much what they do, as much as what they don’t do, tbh.
I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.
It always amuses me when UK companies complain about the work culture in Nordic countries.
I hate to tell you, but they are more productive than you AND don't die of work induced heart attacks at the age of 50.
Don't try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.
Been WFH since COVID, but the one that used to annoy me was people just dumping plates and cups in the sink. Was minging.
The funniest thing was a colleague unplugging someone's desktop computer from the mains. Whilst holding the cable in his hands he was adamant that it wasn't him 😂
It gets even better though, he did the same thing to the same person an hour later, whilst still claiming it wasn't him.
Muppet.
People calling me a 'co-worker'! Terrible term, we are colleagues!
I much prefer "cow-orker"
I used to work in a south London office where people thought nothing of microwaving fish curry...
And i currently sit next to a lady that cannot do silence, she has to talk... constantly.. and tell me lots of detail about her life, i really do not need to know, sex life, money problems, the full monty!
Ooooh! The reminds me of someone years ago who posted such things about his colleagues. He was sacked soon after but it worked very well in the long run.
I much prefer “cow-orker”
Usenet user? That's when I first heard the term, back in... oh.. the stone age?
When you turn on the dust extractor, but fail to notice that the pipe is still connected to that other machine and not the saw that you're currently using.
A cloud of mdf dust to rival Eyjafjallajökull volcano fills the workshop but you somehow fail to notice.
Only when I run over, waving my arms and covering my mouth do you go, 'oh, sorry'....
🙄
It's fine, I say, I'm quite partial to a bit of emphysema...
Other people in my office, there’s one thing that winds me up and that’s noises from the computers. WFH means most of em are out mowing the lawn or painting the spare room, so have reminder sounds on ****ing loud to attract their attention from skiving. They leave these on when they come into the office. Offers have been made to shove laptops up arses.
Massive chain emails where you CC the company cat about some petty detail that really doesn't matter, just to enhance your own stature.
But then, I used to work in a factory where messing with workers cars (flipping wipers, burying in snow, covering in bogroll etc) was par for the course. Tried this in my new job and it backfired pretty spectacularly - cue a police report and company-wide emails to identify the culprit (me, obvs).
People who "reply to all" when they should just be replying to the sender. It's always the same names that do it.
I get your point but keeping clients is helpful for future pay packets.
(Not a massive company)
So as long as you keep covering for other people's ineptitude it'll keep happening. If future pay packets are important to the not-massive company than everyone else needs to buck their ideas up.
Having Radio One or Kiss History on, quite loudly. Radio One today managed one song I recognised, among all the identikit autotuned garbage - Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Trouble is, I can’t wear earphones for safety reasons, as there are vehicles moving around the workshop all the time. 😖
Don’t try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.
What? Based on lunch break?
Once I attended a training course in conducting a meeting using Monty Python meeting bloody meeting video. One Swedish lady made a formal complain later that the video was sexist and inappropriate. She completely missed the point ... hello, this is the land of Monty Python.
Our current office fad is to look busy by making a simple task complicated.
The best way to get notice is by emailing everyone, obviously CC brown nosing the bosses, at any opportunity about a training programmes, new way of working, new technology, new way to increase productivity etc almost on daily basis. That bloke must be feeling proud of his achievement.
Then we have micro managers who like to write long documents and expect everyone to follow.
Then some of them started to believe their own hype of being a good leader ...
Then I have a colleague who eat lunch at his office desk follow by dessert, reading newspaper, eating other junks ...
I think one day I will microwave some Asian dry fermented salted fish or durian in the office. I can assure you the whole building will be emptied in minutes.
Monday morning football pundits. On and on and bloody on … blokes who haven’t kicked a ball themselves in many years.
blokes who haven’t kicked a ball themselves in many years.
... yet go to the pub dressed as their favourite footballer.
tomhoward
Full Member
It’s not so much what they do, as much as what they don’t do, tbh.
This sums it up for me.
I can definitely see that the UK government banning of handguns was an incredibly smart move.
People who scuff their shoes whilst walking. Unless you have a disability or injury it takes a tiny bit more effort to pick your feet up and walk like an adult.
Emails. Everything is a **** email.
Do you not have a work phone on which you can check said emails? Takes all of 10 seconds. Either that or tell people to call you instead. Seems like a pretty easy to solve issue, especially if it's a small company.
Guy on my team seeks affirmation on *almost* everything he does. 'What do you think I should do Mike?' he says to me after telling me the whole history of the case and while I wasn't listening coz I was too busy doing my own bloody job. 'what's that steve, tell me again' so he proceeds to tell me the whole history again. Helen comes back from the loo 'what do you think I should do here Helen?' 'what's that steve?' proceeds to tell Helen the whole history. Our TM is the most chilled guy ever, such an excellent boss, even he snapped at Steve the other day. Steve asked him what he should do on a case, TM told him what he thinks he should do, Steve says 'okay but don't you think I should do this?' TM snaps 'I dunno Steve, you make a decision!' .... we're all smirking into our keyboards. I love steve to bits, he's a lovely guy but fgs you're paid to do the job, generally you can do it and you're mandated to make decisions, make them!
The person or persons that realises that they can now set up meetings using MS Office and invite far too many people all of the time to sort out minor problems that should take minutes to sort out but take hours because too many people are involved. An excellent way of filling your day with non productive rubbish. So now it’s a case of if you can’t sort the problem out then by all means give me a knock when you’re all there and I’ll pop down to the conference room but never ever invite me again by email.
Oh and the word reconvene means you’ve just wasted your time and nothing has been achieved or sorted out!
I have one office colleague these days. She's ace and pretty chill mostly. Sometime when I've been staring too long at the computer, she'll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.
She does have the annoying habit of pestering me whenever I'm eating and wanting a wee tit-bit, especially toast and get super excited when the postman / delivery driver rings the bell.
Sounds like a bitch.
Those that expect me to reschedule my life so they can have a meeting when I'm already busy.
"I know, I'll send Mert a meeting invite, they can help"
Then they get pissy because I decline their invite because I'm on lunch, driving home, or on holiday.
Or, on one occasion, asleep.
she’ll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.
I would definitely get annoyed by that buzzing
Not putting an Out Of Office on when someone is away when you'd expect them to be in. In a large, shift based environment it really helps!
There’s a driver at our place who makes everyone’s urine boil simply by turning up for work.
Mind you since she knocked an old man down in Harrogate (not her fault) I doubt if she’ll be back even after she’s had her 6 months on full pay then another 6 on half pay.
He place is much more relaxed at the mo.
I have one office colleague these days. She’s ace and pretty chill mostly. Sometime when I’ve been staring too long at the computer, she’ll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.
She does have the annoying habit of pestering me whenever I’m eating and wanting a wee tit-bit, especially toast and get super excited when the postman / delivery driver rings the bell
My work colleague insists on sitting on my lap and trying to move the mouse when I'm trying to work. I'm considering complaining to HR about him 🙂
The person or persons that realises that they can now set up meetings using MS Office
Or, indeed if your workplace uses MS teams, why not go the extra mile and create a new team! I share many of the above annoyances, but on the other hand (to get things in perspective) at least I don’t have to worry about pick rates (I watched ‘Life and Death in the Warehouse’ last night).
I hate to tell you, but they are more productive than you AND don’t die of work induced heart attacks at the age of 50.
Don’t try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.
Did you actually read the post?
Did you actually read the post?
Yes. Did you?
@squirrelking
No, not morgan.
But he is old enough to retire, I genuinely wonder if he’s starting to dement tbh.
He’s not malicious, he just can’t remember who he’s told a particular story to, or whether it’s true.
People that reply to all just to say “thanks”.
People that get in to work at 7.30am to work so they can **** off home at 3.30pm when the rest of their colleagues are there to at least 5pm but insist it’s flexi so don’t have to stay if there’s something important to cover. Especially when they spend the first 45 minutes chomping on cornflakes and checking Facebook.
In fact anyone that sees at least the first 45 minutes of work as a social event to catch up with Margery from accounts on who was best on Britains got talent from last night. Get to work you idle ****s.
People who still smoke so go outside for a fag break 10 times a day but don’t deduct it from their flexi so basically get a free half day a week (probably still taking to Margery from accounts).
Nose breathers on Teams calls.
The prick who uses my Nespresso machine which I put in the kitchen, admittedly for anyone to use, but can’t be arsed to empty their pods afterwards.
When working abroad with Americans they used to arrange meals after work and passively aggressively expect you to come along in your own time.
Our staff are brilliant and I love my job.
Does that help?
Life's too short to get wound up by the petty trivialities encountered during the course of a working day...
I turn up, do my work, do my best to get along with everyone as it just makes everything easier, and then go home. At 3:30pm, because I have flexible start/finish and got in at half 7.. 😉
Management who, this year, have failed to communicate notices to departments. Same management who call themselves management, but coworkers say aren't, and they have an extreme dislike for.
Me, I have a job to do and don't tend to get interfered with, and don't hold animosity like the rest.
But....... If theres an event and I'm allowed to go home, I don't expect to have had to go through the 2hr20min enforced lunchbreak (I can hide in my office and work) then turn up to my classroom, where I then message 20-45mins later to ask where my learnera are, only to find everything was canceled due to the event and no one told me, costing me 3hrs of potential home time.
I start to understand why management, that isn't management, is hated so much.
There's that person who has responsibility for certain equipment, or project, or area of business. When you tell them of a problem relating to such a thing they're responsible for answers with...
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
Sort out the problem you are paid to make sure gets sorted? Stop being an idle slacker who hopes Nd expects that someone else will do it? Stop finding ways to not do work that is job to do rather than have to be told directly by your line manager to do it, and what exactly needs to be done.
As I work on a ship there are 4 of us doing the same job. On board/on leave, and on watch/off watch.
When one of my colleagues has been too slack to set up something in an efficient way as that would take some time and effort, and therefore has burdened the rest of us with ongoing misery and toil.
Worse, is when one of the clowns has agreed or cajoled into taking on an additional task or function WHICH IS NOTHING TO DO WITH US!
People in positions of authority who make common language & spelling mistakes, looking at you 'there' instead of 'their' and putting apostrophes in plural words.
You've started me off now..
There's people who think I do nothing all day long.
Yes, that's exactly my job if everything has been done right. If I have to do something it's because something has gone wrong, or needs changing, or the plan has altered (normally because of someone else's lack of planning).
A dull day is a good day, if it's exciting it's because bad stuff is happening.
Team meetings in the staff room/ office used to wind me up. Especially if they didn't use a head set.
Old boss, would micro manage and want to be in controll of everything then forget to contact employers, forget meetings, forget just about anything important.
Oh not really a colleague but the company deciding we don't need phones now we have teams, only for the phone part of teams to not let me call outside the business.
Do you not have a work phone on which you can check said emails? Takes all of 10 seconds. Either that or tell people to call you instead. Seems like a pretty easy to solve issue, especially if it’s a small company
I do have a smartphone but I spend probably half of my working day driving at least.
Yes it has been mentioned.
As far as I'm concerned Email me if you maybe want a response the same day or so.
Text me if it's more urgent
Phone me if it's time critical.
I just get bullied at work, they steal my tools and gloves, sneak up behind me and push me over in flower beds, generally just mess about for hours and then think it's ok to take naps whenever they choose.
Bloody Labradors
Manager: 'Hey FMC, can you write some promo about this thing we have coming up? Here's some info.
Me: 'Sure, here's a first draft written for the audiences and platforms you've defined in simple, succinct language with clear calls to action, let me know what you think'.
Manager: 'Oh no, I wanted something more like this wordy drivel with overlong sentences, bad grammar and a load of information I didn't tell you about'.
Me: 'OK, how about this version with all the extra info reworded to be readable by normal humans?'
Manager: 'Oh no, I much preferred mine.'
Yes, I am looking for a new job. For many reasons.
People in positions of authority who make common language & spelling mistakes
One of the senior managers at my workplace signs off emails with ‘Live long and prosper 🖖’. Doesn’t boil my urine (life’s too short), but doesn’t help with taking the message that precedes it seriously either.
Sometimes I miss working in a business with colleagues, as being a sole trader can be a bit lonesome sometimes.
Then I read a thread like this.
How do you not all go mad? I am impressed by your collective ability not to commit murder or at least GBH.
My dogs annoy me sometimes, they sit watching what I’m doing and sometimes get involved, especially if I’m using power tools or their’s a slightest chance that a mouse might be around.
Sometimes the look on their face says “I wouldn’t do it like that”.
The thing is, they’re often right!
I've picked up a global project that previously had little or no governance and was pretty much a free for all. As it is, almost every element is a mess and it's like trying to piece together a ming vase, delivered by hermes and lobbed over the fence, when I didn't even ask for a ming vase in the first place.
Anyway, one guy who has had a free reign to do stuff due to aforementioned lack of any kind of governance is very passive aggressively pushing back on any kind of guidance or management we're trying to build around it; all very polite but with a barely disguised level of contempt.
This culminated in him name dropping a senior leader who had apparently given him approval for his 'plan'.
He didn't like it when I told him I knew said senior leader well and we could phone him immediately to discuss it. He also doesn't know I'm good mates with the person who owns the policy he keeps citing.
What pisses me off most though is that the changes he needs to make are so minuscule but will be hugely beneficial to the people affected. He's just annoyed he doesn't have the keys to the car anymore.
Then I read a thread like this.
How do you not all go mad?
No word of exaggeration, I nearly did. An open-plan office full of 'normal' people was an absolute nightmare, I couldn't cope with it.
I performed a hostile takeover of an old office room that was being used as a storage cupboard. I figured I'd declare it my office and wait until someone complained. In a very real sense it saved my sanity, if I hadn't done that I would have had to quit.
Managers who call you ten times a day to see where you are even though they scheduled your job then have a hissy fit at you on my rare appearance in the office demanding to know why you never answer when they call.
" Because you're name appears on my screen"
Wasn't the answer they wanted but they stopped calling.
We have an office whistler.
The A Team, The Entertainer, Good King Wenceslas... you name it, he'll ****ing whistle it. All day. Every day.
The guys that come in from their lunchtime walk to exclaim that "it's boiling in here" and then proceed to turn on the aircon and set it at 16-18 degrees.
You've just come in from the cold, it's warmer inside, just deal with it for a few minutes - you'll acclimatise!