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Ban cars from city and town centres.
Ban road spending that doesn't provide 2miles of Boardman level quality cycle infra for every amended/new mile of road.
Football: It encourages excessive alcohol consumption, riots, too much noise, general aggressive behaviour.
Games Consoles: Find a real hobby and don't be so lazy.
E Cigarettes: It's not better for you than smoking. It's less harmful that smoking. Smells bad too.
Mens skinny jeans and trousers that stop before your shoes: Does this really need a justification?
Fossil fuels, ban them now. And single use plastic which would by default happen from banning fossil fuels
You would also by default ban the manufacturer of asphalt roads and pavements, most pharmaceuticals (if the chemical precursors are not petrochemicals themselves then the solvents used in the manufacturer are), all common synthetic fibres (fine if it means forgoing a shell suit, less cool when it's a climbing rope you want), high performance paints/coatings, useful adhesives - from medical superglue to expoxy resin, a vast array of medical implants, hygienic single use medical equipment, synthetic fertiliser (who needs food), bike tyres etc.
Me, I think I'd ban banning things. Prohibition is rarely effective.
Oh, wait, I've got one. I'd ban TV shows that have 15 minutes of actual content spun out to three quarters of an hour. "Coming up later..." - actual content - "after the break..." - adverts - "previously on [show]..." - "coming up next..." Argh!
The Banhammer
I'd cheerfully replace the banhammer with a bozo filter, it'd solve many problems.
Commuting to sit at a desk with a computer and a phone.
I have a desk, computer and a phone at home
I've argued this for years (and won, because I now work from home). There's merit to going into an office if your job requires some sort of teamwork, but I think a lot of places drag people in simply because "we've always done it this way" (which is the worst reason to do anything).
Being silly: people saying Legos for Lego
So what you're saying is, you want to ban Americans?
Fossil fuels, ban them now. And single use plastic which would by default happen from banning fossil fuels
*typed on his steampowered phone*
or was it an iron ?
riots
Are we back in the 1970s again?
Alcohol.
Cakes.
Fireworks.
Fun.
Lists.
So what you’re saying is, you want to ban Americans?
Hmm! How hard could that be maybe we should do the math.
. I’d ban TV shows that have 15 minutes of actual content spun out to three quarters of an hour. “Coming up later…” – actual content – “after the break…” – adverts – “previously on [show]…” – “coming up next…” Argh!
In particular - magazine shows like BBC Breakfast where large amounts of the broadcast time are spent trailing an upcoming interview then when it arrives cut the conversation short with 'well we could talk all day but unfortunately we've run out of time'
Are we back in the 1970s again?
Yes - its been the 31 December 1975 since the 1 Feb 2020
Google. ****s.
Edit: just for clarification I think that google are ****s, not that ****s should be banned. I like ****s.
I'd ban Dana, but I wouldn't ban Dana if she wore a bandana.
I think that google are *, not that * should be banned.
I didn't spot the full stop - so on your instruction I googled ****.
I was planning in toad in the hole for tea but I think I'll give it a miss.
Fajitas?
Wheeled suitcases.
You have my vote. Small pull along on handles ones are bad (see any clip of anyone leaving the Apprentice if any evidence is required. Not one of them has the gumption to carry a small black case so no wonder they're fired). New trend is for those with four wheels on the bottom, so tourists increasingly seem to be herding small flotillas along the platform.
I have a personal and irrational hatred of Leaf-Blowers! As far as I can tell they are noisy, pointless things used to push dirt from place to place, whilst raising as much dust as possible. Why don't they suck? It would seem to make much more sense
I have a personal and irrational hatred of Leaf-Blowers!
I gave someone a lift this weekend in my trusty 12 year old berlingo. They said "I've got the same make and model as this - but its not this clean inside"
I said "thats because I own a leaf blower"
(mine's battery powered though so nowhere near as noisy - it'll blow your face inside out though)
Commuting to sit at a desk with a computer and a phone.
I have a desk, computer and a phone at home
This, at a bare minimum, if I was in control there would be tax incentives to incourage working from home or extra corporation tax for not allowing/encouraging working from home.
I’d ban Dana, but I wouldn’t ban Dana if she wore a bandana.
👍😊
Jackdaws, slugs and that Ministry of Sound style of dance music. Having a toddler I’d also ban Peppa ****ing Pig, Topsy and Tim and Waffle the bastard Wonder Dog.
Can I add more.
Umbrellas.
Nightlights.
Travis.
Yeast infections.
Brexit.
Organic cabbage.
Lute music.
Lavatory humour.
Oysters.
Cars with loud exhausts.
Kryptonite.
Smelly feet.
Caravans.
Taxi drivers that can't use indicators.
Piers Morgan.
I was going to say artificial grass, but having googled images I'm going to have to go with dismembered hands.
Multi million pound companies NOT paying tax.
That voice used in perfume adverts, all perfume adverts. Why is it always that bloody voice.
And exasperation as I absolutely know it will be what kills me in the end.
Numbers bigger than 2 when discussing the different genders.
Cigarette butts. Cigarettes are fine, just ban the butts. Oh wait, no ban cigarettes too, being an ex-smoker I ****ing hate cigarettes now. Butthead smokers who - just like I did - thoughtlessly discard their cigarette butts I don't know, wherever the **** they are, in bed, at the Queen's house drinking tea, flick, flick flick. And DAB radios. Any and all radios. I don't want to listen to YOUR same old shit music day in day out. I've got MY OWN same old shit music and I keep accumulating it so no, I don't need to listen to Robert Miles & Technotronic on a daily basis. Thanks.
Mens skinny jeans and trousers that stop before your shoes:
But how else would we recognise DFLs?
Credit Cards or more specifically pay day loan companies
Ambulance chasing Lawyers for You etc
Smoking in cars , just ban it, waving a flame inches from your face whilst piloting 1.2t of steel @ 45mph past schoolkids
Christmas
Mouth breathing
Child benefits
No cycling signs
The Re-map tuning crew. We all know a loud popping exhaut makes all 17 year old girls go weak at the knees , but the " 3rd gear full throttle 2000-3000rpm .Lift off pop bang bang BANG , down to 2000rpm , back on the gas , accelerate hard up to 3000rpm , lift off, BANG bang etc.... please stop now.
Multi million pound companies NOT paying tax.
Luckily the eu is changing laws to close these loopholes......oh!
Child benefits
Sweeties and blissful ignorance?
Anything made by Sonos, or Bose, or Apple. Laptops, tablets, smartphones, 5l Beer kegs, Camelbaks, dry ciders with sweeteners. What the 'Car' guy said up there. Oh and the plastic bottle guy. Taxes, or if not feasible, then tax dodgers. Greggs, Advocaat, cucumber.
Excessive use of comas.
Numbers bigger than 2 when discussing the different genders.
I'd ban ignorant bigots.
People who think they can be fat and fit.
Happy to challenge any one of them to a jog to the top of the Bealach Na Bah, or a ride up it on a singlespeed bike.
That's if I get past the cake shop at the bottom.
I’d ban ignorant bigots.
How many genders are there?
Audi’s.
And pedantry.
How many genders are there?
Why do you care ?
How has it impacted you personally ?
Why do you care ?
How has it impacted you personally ?
Because someone above just called someone else a 'bigot' for stating that there were two. After such a nasty slur I'd expect them to have a concrete answer as to how many there are.
...and yes, anti-science guff bothers me.
I'd have thought that at least induced comas for medical reasons would be ok Drac? 😋
Please, no more SUV's!
and yes, anti-science guff bothers me.
So you’ll understand sex and gender are different?
People who think they can be fat and fit.
Happy to challenge any one of them to a jog to the top of the Bealach Na Bah, or a ride up it on a singlespeed bike.
Or how about 80 mins of rugby?
So you’ll understand sex and gender are different?
Yep.
Or how about 80 mins of rugby?
Or sumo wrestling.
I’d have thought that at least induced comas for medical reasons would be ok Drac?
Shit! 😂
I’d ban ignorant bigots
Aw, come on. It was a nice light-hearted thread until this point.
How many stars are there? More than two. I'd ban the use of science in an argument where clearly no science has been read.
Segways. And even more so Segway trekking.
Anything made by Sonos, or Bose, or Apple. Laptops, tablets, smartphones,
And you’re making that comment on here. Yeah, right. Think about it, son.
Aw, come on. It was a nice light-hearted thread until this point.
Agreed. And I made it pointlessly worse. I withdraw all my remarks (except the one about Google - they can still f off).
Alexa and the Google equivalent - why is it that we are ok with mass surveillance of the population by private companies? Oh....... I can switch the light on/off without having to press a switch? Fill yer boots then.
I used to be of the opinion that tracking my mundane everyday activities was completely valueless - but then Cambridge Analytica/Brexit.
I know I said I'd shut up about this, but I just read this reply
How many stars are there? More than two. I’d ban the use of science in an argument where clearly no science has been read.
Now see this is a good argument. It makes it's point very well, and pretty much demolishes a specific argument that I was making.
I happily accept that, and even enjoy being shown to be incorrect when it's done so well.
"I disagree with you, therefore you're a bigot" - not so much.
Alternative facts and James Delingpole.
Alexa and the Google equivalent – why is it that we are ok with mass surveillance of the population by private companies?
asks the superpowered anthropomorphic grey bat in a yellow costume with a big red "B" on the chest and red gauntlets and boots.
molgrips
Or how about 80 mins of rugby?
Oh, I'd ban that too. Real men play shinty... 🙂
Alexa and the Google equivalent – why is it that we are ok with mass surveillance of the population by private companies?
asks the superpowered anthropomorphic grey bat in a yellow costume with a big red “B” on the chest and red gauntlets and boots.
Omg, ur right....
Batfink's "supersonic sonar radar" is a super-powered version of a bat's echolocation, used to locate prey. Batfink's power takes the form of the letters of the word "BEEP" (or "BEEP BEEP") emanating from his mouth. The letters are anthropomorphic and sentient, and can fly wherever Batfink needs them to go – accompanied by a distinctive beeping noise.
The letters can see; feel fear; evade capture; and report back to Batfink on what they have seen.
Because someone above just called someone else a ‘bigot’ for stating that there were two. After such a nasty slur I’d expect them to have a concrete answer as to how many there are.
Sure, that's a fair request.
Firstly, I found the post I replied to offensive and responded in kind, in the same way that I'd have reacted to someone posting that they'd like to ban ****stanis. Not least because it was completely unprovoked and off-topic, it wasn't like we were twelve pages into a debate about gender. It was a cheap swipe at a persecuted minority (and in hindsight I should have reacted as a moderator rather than bitten at the bait, but here we are).
Secondly, it's bollocks. You want the science, here you go: There's XX and XY chromosomes, male and female, job jobbed, right? But there's also X, XXY, XYY, XXX, XXYY and probably others we don't fully know about yet. And that's the easy bit, before you get into the realms of hormones, surgical assignment at birth, sexual dysgenesis and a shitload of other complications.
“I disagree with you, therefore you’re a bigot” – not so much.
"I disagree with you" - no, this isn't opinion, it's well documented (and complicated) science.
"... therefore you’re a bigot" - no, you're a bigot if you thought it was appropriate to bring up in this thread the first place. Like, that was literally the first thing you thought of when you saw the thread title. You could ban Nazis or middle-lane drivers or Katie Hopkins or Love Island or racists or instant tea or people who ride fixies. But no, out of the entire gamut of things in the entire world you could possibly imagine to object to, the absolute first thing that leapt into your mind was "people struggling with their gender identity."
Also, I didn't say "bigot," I said "ignorant bigot." That other word was important. It's entirely possible that the poster didn't know any of what I just said in the previous post and thus the comment was born out of ignorance rather than malice. In which case I've been happy to help educate them.
Ban (delete) every post on STW which is off topic; binding decision taken by mods.
If decision appealed, appellant banned for life.
Can I ban Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins?
No, because your post is already banned under previous nominations for banning off topic posts.
Old Nige and Katie are people like me or you, as much as that's a struggle for many to grasp.
I'm going to throw All Day Breakfast in a Tin into the mix. I have never seen anyone consume it but pretty much every work canteen, hostel or bothy I've been in has a tin in the "free food" cupboard. Sort of there as an emergency backup but no emergency that big ever comes. More landfill.
Segways.
But then how would we make a transition without interruption from one activity, topic, scene, or part to another?
No, because your post is already banned under previous nominations for banning off topic posts.
Old Nige and Katie are people like me or you, as much as that’s a struggle for many to grasp.
I'd like to ban aliens 👽 because, and I could be wrong about the origin of their specific species, but I'm fairly sure that those two are both not of this planet 🤣
Oh, I'd also ban those food items masquerading as pies that hsve fruit as a top. No. If I wanted to have something sweet/piquant with my fully pastry-enclosed pie, I shall add chutney, pickle, piccalilli etc.to my plate.
Agreed. And I made it pointlessly worse. I withdraw all my remarks
Good to see an early result from cougars reeducation camps
And you’re making that comment on here. Yeah, right. Think about it, son.
Saved by the gender/bigot kerfuffle...
Old Nige and Katie are people like me or you
They may be like you, but they are sod-all like me.
How about, instead of banning them, just ban the employment of them (and that Morgan git)? That'd be good.
As noted above by Fatmountain, sodding SUVs. They cost so much in fuel, tyres, space, etc. and offer so little in return just because people “like to be high up” FFS get a grip. My mate has just got a petrol engined X5 with the thick end of 600bhp as he now has 1 small child and needed something big and practical. He’s a **** idiot.
Instead of picking on a class of car like SUVs, how about we ban cars with more than 40bhp.
That was good enough to propel a Morris Minor at legal speeds, so for the sake of [s]cyclists[/s] the environment there is no need for anything bigger or faster.
Morris Minor achieved about 39mph, with godawful emissions.
Maybe we could set the bar just a teensy bit higher?
Or how about 80 mins of rugby?
Or sumo wrestling
80 minutes of Sumo Wrestling must require two very evenly matched opponents!
I'd like to ban bad science.
Also, facebook (and all that) recommending more of the same.
Self righteous types who bang on about recycling, saving the environment, banning cars etc etc..Then have numerous children to further bleed the earth resources dry
In fact ban children in general..most of them annoy me..
I'd definitely ban intolerance.
That and organised religion.
Garish house signs and security lights that would out shine a light house.
mrmonkfinger
Morris Minor achieved about 39mph, with godawful emissions.
Don't know where you got that top speed from. Every Minor I owned could get up to 70 or a bit more.
As for emissions, surely a modern engine of that power would be a bit better?
I would like to ban the storage of all old banners.
Used once at a conference that no one will ever care about or remember, apart from Kevin in the mole catching division.They sit for years around offices, rolled up and gathering dust just because Kev thinks they could come in useful.
40bhp is good limit. Had a 998cc Mini that would easily do the speed limit and that only had 39bhp. Currently running a 1992 Polo 1L (45bhp) which can get up to 80mph with a tailwind, downhill.
Dad had a 1959 Minor, I don't think I'd have wanted to take that anywhere near 70 though.
Bank TV ads. Especially the one with the bloody horses. They should be begging for our forgiveness not telling us that they are friendly, cuddly and helpful.
Old Nige and Katie are people like me or you, as much as that’s a struggle for many to grasp.
As Dezb said up there, they are **** all like me thank you very much. I don't even consider them people. just oxygen thieves.
I'd like to ban excessively noisy cars and motor bikes.
Also, good call and perfume ads, they just don't make any sense!!