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Crashed a rental scooter on the way home from hospital this morning. Bit muddy and bruised.
I told my wife that I had been on the underpass under the main road, the tiles were wet and very slippy, I had been overconfident going into a corner, and that the scooter had slid out from under me. All of this was true.
What I omitted, was that in my overconfidence, I decided it might be fun to try and do the world's longest skid along the slippery tiles, and powerslide into the corner.
She thinks I'm enough of a prat as it is....
Skids are for kids...so well done you, life's too short not to.
I'd fess up to my wife, she'd laugh at me in a fun way.
Even if I tell him the truth when I crash he says 'serves you right for showing off'. But in a similar vein, things you tell your parents! I once wrote off an alloy/tyre because I overcooked a corner in my vw golf and bounced off the kerb but I told them the person on the outside of me had come over on to my lane giving me no choice! When I was a fair bit younger I got a weekend job at mc d's and loathed it immediately! Told my parents they'd overhired and had to let the newest members of staff go which happened to be me!
These broken ribs? Oh I fell down the stairs, didn’t fall off my bike in the snow while you were away for the weekend, of course not.
Of course I love you more than my bikes.
These broken ribs? Oh I fell down the stairs, didn’t fall off my bike in the snow while you were away for the weekend, of course not.
You've just reminded me of the time I had to come clean to my parents. 1994, they were away for the weekend, I was about 14/15 and recovering from pneumonia. They had told me very clearly not to go out biking, because it was cold and rainy and I hadn't fully recovered yet.
So obviously I did, and just decided I wouldn't tell them. Just a short 15 miles or so. Would have been fine if I hadn't crashed on a jump, gashed my elbow, ripped open my fleece and needed my dad to clean gravel out of the wound... Mum was not impressed!
Store your secrets safe, like sharp knives 😉
This old bike? No had it for years...
Certainly it was only £2000 … I’ve got the receipt 😉
I shrunk the kids.
I need special sensitive teeth tooth paste, but really I just can't stand the fact she doesn't squeeze the tube from the bottom!!
No, of course I'll miss you when you go away for two nights leaving me to play the music I like loudly, choose the movie and enjoy the whole bed to myself. You go off love and don't worry about us here. 😉
"I'll sell that bike when I buy a new one"
I'm just finishing this pint, then I'll be straight home
I tell mine I'll be giving it a wash once the thaw arrives so it feels a bit cleaner. I also tell if to go easy on the tyres so I don't need to keep spending so much on it!
a few years back i was boring my wife with the tale of that days epic 8 hour ride (over the moorfoot hills). at one point, i mentioned 'we' and she picked up on that and said 'i thought you were your own?' she then quickly realised i meant the bike and me!!
I just need to finish this quick job, i'll be 5 mins.
Ordered a proper skateboard for my eldest that was delivered to my office. Of course I had to have a go didn't I?
One pulled painfully calf later, I couldn't wait to tell her what a tragic, middle aged, bell end I was. Gifting my wife things to take the piss out of, keep my marriage what it is.
No love, I do t really want to go away for work this week while you run around sorting everything out for Christmas, but it’s money in the bank isn’t it..?
I tell mine I’ll be giving it a wash once the thaw arrives so it feels a bit cleaner.
too much information
No, this isn't a new pair of running shoes, definitely not.
That I will be home 4 hours later than I actually plan to be. Getting home at 8pm when I have told her 10pm is a bonus. Getting home at 8pm when I have told her 7pm is a no no.
I did once have to phone the police to call off the mountain rescue when I got home near midnight from Glen Coe. This was in pre mobile phones days but I still think she was quick off the mark.
In contrast my dad went away for a night with his pal. Both in their 80s. And my mum didn't think to mention it to anyone when he was 2 days late getting back having been snowed in at a bothy.
Many moons ago I told the then GF that the car needed a couple of hundred quid spending on it for the MOT.
Obviously I didn't tell her that it would have been nothing if it wasn't for me sliding it into a ditch one night while I was doing my finest Colin McRae impression round a damp Wykeham Forest.
"Do you mind if i buy a new bike, i've got the cash saved up and the shop have offered me a deal."
"Go on then"
"OK"
Proceeds to get the bike i've actually already bought out of the back of the car.
Done that twice now.
Neither occasion resulted in anymore than an eyeroll and much p155 taking.
Probably helps that she hasn't paid full price for a bike in 20 years. I even got deals on the two she's bought since we divorced, and the one her boyfriend bought earlier in the year, and a couple of sets of wheels they've had...
"Things."
Lies.
my sister did an absolute beauty when she was eighteen. In a queue of traffic at a junction the van in front of her stopped quickly, she ran her motorbike into the back of the van.Cosmetic damage all around, mostly tothe bike. Turned out the van belonged to our dad's joinery firm. Problem was how could she explain to dad that she'd crashed a motorbike he did not know she had. So she told him it was me and the guy in the van backed her up. I got a lot of beer, a real lot.
Day 1: - “I’m not bothered about kids or marriage”
Day 30: - “I’m not bothered about kids or marriage”
Day 210: “I’m not bothered about kids or marriage”
Day 365: - “I’m not bothered about kids or… YOU BASTARD YOU’VE WASTED MY TIME I HATE YOU.
In contrast my dad went away for a night with his pal. Both in their 80s [...some other stuff...] he was 2 days late getting back having been snowed in at a bothy.
That pretty much sums up what I want to be doing when I'm in my 80s. Sounds perfect.
Definitely guilty of saying I'll be back when I finish this pint. She's the same though, saying she'll be back by 10pm, rolls in at midnight 😁
a few years back i was boring my wife
POIDH...🙃
"You smell like a stripper"
Oh. Shit.
Only tell them where you are going, not where you have been...
Very little is my answer.
It's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission sometimes.
Its not new bike I've had it resprayed - look good though.