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"I listened to some of that Billy Eyebrow yesterday. Eyelash! Eilish!"
Well that attempt at showing I like some of the same music as my 17 year old daughter and am thus slightly cooler than she previously thought rather backfired as she's now sharing this little anecdote with all her friends.
Note to self: You're her Dad, being cool is not your role in your kid's life.
Anyone else care to share their little moments of accidentally talking complete bollocks to their kids?
'Yeah, whatever, I made you; I can make another one anytime I like'
Not impressed; ran crying to her mum, who was also not impressed, kid was only 7 though.
I am a Monster, apparently
On a similar note.. Weds night, I text my son, "Whats your maths teacher's name?"
"Mrs. Algebra, why?"
"She's at this gig! I'm going to say hello"
"Please don't Dad"
😆
“Whats your maths teacher’s name?”
“Mrs. Algebra, why?”
"Hi, I'm Little DezB's dad and I'd just like to say that you've got some amazing nominative determinism going on, Mrs Alegbra."
I hope you did and she tells him you did in front of the whole class 🙂
Mrs Alegbra
😀
That was the only bit of the texting what I changed.
...just checked, it was actually:
"Oh god
Please don't"
😆
Alegbra?!
“Here’s £10/20/30.”
The one thing that guarantees a postitive response. If only for a moment......
"Dad could you build a car?"
"I had a Ford Anglia we put a 2 litre twin carb' engine in before electronics, brakes were crap though"
"XXXX is building up a retro pickup with a V8 and his Dad is helping him"
edit teenage daughter so I was impressed
"Ah pumped yer maw."
“Ah pumped yer maw.”
I've never had the courage to repeatedly shout "YOUR MUM!" at my children until I 'win' an argument.
Given up trying to impress them! All in there 20's, all with more academic qualifications than me and all probably smarter too.
The only thing I have is I earn more than they do (and always will as they have chosen silly careers in professions that help others -NHS).
Immensely proud of how they turned out in spite of my efforts!
In the same spirit, but not my kids, I was giving a lift to a couple of mates who I hadn't seen for a few years and the subject came up of one of them had got right into Jimi Hendrix recently (this was the bleedin' 1990s 🙄 ).
I cracked what I thought was a great in-joke about my favourite song being voodoo chile (but pronounced Chilly as the supposed record-industry A&R man once said). They thought it was really funny. Took me a few minutes to realise that they were (still) laughing "at" not "with" and my Hendrix cred had sunk like the Titanic, and too late to salvage.
Luckily ol' Jimi's not up my street at all and I haven't seen either of them for at least 20 years but **** me I was (gently) mortified at the time.
"Of course you can have the car"
Pull my finger
My missis was discussing a band which as a favorite of my daughter's, the One Stop Deckchair Parade.
Took a while to work out she actually meant Two Door Cinema Club. 🤣
Two millennial types came into my shop the other day for a chat about some kayaks. Turns out they were famous you tubers.
Mentioned this to my 14 yr old daughter thinking she would be mildly interested that I met Zoella and her bf
It was like a nuclear reaction going off
I cannot believe how much power these influencers have over the young
I was listening to my 11 year old son's mate boasting to him, that a famous you tuber had called him (the mate) "a weird idiot".
Strange
I don't say anything. I am a man of action.
1/ flossing (bit passe now, if they ignore it go for a full rainbow floss instead. In public)
2/ orange justice (a fortnite thing) When challenged on your terrible version of it, claim it's your own invention, called (insert name of citrus fruit / insert noun beginning with j). I genuinely told my daughter in front of her friend that my dance was called grapefuit jodhpurs
3/ when wearing a jacket, pull your trousers up as far as you can. Proper man cameltoe style, so the waistband is just under your armpits. Do the jacket up to hide the waistband. Get into a conversation, and then unbutton the jacket to allow it to fall open and revel the trousers. Even better if wearing a tie and you retie it so the end of the tie is at the right height, just reaching the waistband.