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Oh, and,
Whether you're in an office at night, on a sunny beach, or on an alien planet whilst on fire, the ambient lighting is always orange & teal. MAKE IT STOP!!
I went to see the new Bourne film the other day. What stuck me was the sounds coming from speeding vehicles all seemed to be created by 1970's V8s. Fair enough for the scenes in Las Vegas, a bit odd in an Audi Q7 in Berlin and just plain bizarre in the Merc Sprinter when they get to London. Bwarrp!
The Transporter TV series was bad for this (and bad in general), big rumbling V8 noises coming from the car they used, no attempt made to hide the 3.0 TDi badge on the back.
That was a truly horrific film for errors, and a horrific film generally.Mi2
If you are going to do slo-mo of the bikes jumping over things,you must know that people are going to spot the tyre swaps.Unless there was a new MX sports bikes range from Triumph (Daytona and a Speed Triple)
Car exhausts which are dribbling water because they have just been started even though in the film/program they have been driving for miles.
An extension to the empty coffee cup problem also - actors making a slurping sound as if they are drinking something even though there is nothing in the cup.
I also agree with the earlier observation about old looking buildings that would have been newish/contemporary when the action is set.
Person falls into an unlit cave/trapped in warehouse etc.
But, there's some ambient light in there - it's not pitch black.
Of course, it would be pretty rubbish if they were in there & you could just hear crashing & banging noises during that scene of the film, but still.....
The CCTV enhance thing really cheeses me off - you've got 16-pixels to enhance a face, but have turned it into a hi-res mug shot!! Bravo...
And the zoom lens spy shots at night, hand held & pin sharp! Wish the stabiliser on my Nikon VR lens was that good!
All thunder storms are directly overhead, i.e the thunder strikes at exactly the same time as the lightning.
Stupid aliens. Who manage to navigate interstellar space, yet can be hacked by one earthling with a Compaq.
Or my favourite: Battleship, where the aliens manage to travel all the way from their home planet but crash their only communications vehicle into a satellite, so have to borrow Earth's communications system. (Which they can, however, hack into and use perfectly).
The CCTV enhance thing really cheeses me off - you've got 16-pixels to enhance a face, but have turned it into a hi-res mug shot!! Bravo...
It makes me giggle when thinking back to when Bladerunner came out and we were incredulous at the whole picture enhancing scene, it seemed so far fetch, even though not long later we'd all be able to pretty much do at home on our PC. But didn't bat an eye at the whole flying car thing and the sentient sexy androids. Now it all seems quaint because he has to use a call box.
bencooperOr my favourite: Battleship,
There's your problem......
Tyre squeal sounds when a car is off-road.
James Bond could even get his tyres to squeal on sandy beaches 😯
Caves and mines always have nice smooth floors whereas in reality they are strewn with rocks and boulders
Middle-aged guys with office jobs who can take on multiple trained fighters in hand-to-hand combat.
Literally none of the physics in Spongebob Squarepants.
James Bond could even get his tyres to squeal on sandy beaches
Needs to tighten his fan belt
Or my favourite: Battleship,There's your problem......
It's so bad it's brilliant. Especially the way they managed to shoehorn in a scene where there's a grid of squares on a radar screen...
Car chases. Good guy stuck next to bad guy. Good guy then changes gear and immediately pulls away. The more you change gear, the faster the car goes.
The more you change gear, the faster the car goes.
Thats basically the plot for Fast and Furious isn't it? [spoiler alert]
Anything to do with IT
No one ever Googles anything, they all have these other search engines and browsers. The browsers are faster than the speed of light and the search engines always get a result right at the top of page one.
bencooper
Or my favourite: Battleship,It's so bad it's brilliant. Especially the way they managed to shoehorn in a scene where there's a grid of squares on a radar screen...
Yeah it's pretty special alright. I tried to watch it again when it was on tv in the hope of recapturing some of that awful goodness but alas the magic was gone. And only shit remained.
No one ever Googles anything
Reason for that - production companies want tech companies to pay for exposure. No money, no exposure. Hence fake search engines and no desktops etc on show.
No or minimal farting. Compared to my experience of life anyway...
Reason for that - production companies want tech companies to pay for exposure. No money, no exposure. Hence fake search engines and no desktops etc on show.
the other reason is if you're watching film you need something to watch - an action so things like 'searching' 'sending' etc need an action to film. The old microsoft paper plane thing at least represented something being sent but real computer interfaces aren't skeuomorphic enough (right guys!)
So what directors need is something less like Google and more like Bounty Bear 😆
No or minimal farting. Compared to my experience of life anyway...
I think Terrance and Phillip restore the balance. I won't post that link though 🙂
Interior of cars at night always well lit
And a night time country scene = vixen bark, no matter the time of year.
my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.
my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.
See also the yellow Mercedes in Taken 2 which miraculously manages to survive multiple crashes, sideswipes, being grazed along a wall at high speed and crashed into the American Embassy (while being shot at) with barely a scratch on it.
If we're doing weird sound effects...
the reason the "ribbet" noise has become the default noise for frogs all over the western world is that when talkies hit the world in the twenties and they did outside shots, there's a particularly loud frog common to California that makes that noise and they lacked the technology to remove it...There are few frogs that actually make that specific call, and yet in nearly every woodland scene at night, in every film ever, you can hear the Northern Pacific Tree Frog...
Peter falk who played Columbo had a glass eye so does that mean Columbo also had a glass eye or did Peter's glass eye play the part of a real eye?........
eye eye Cap'n!
my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.
I know what you mean, it was such a faultless film other than that one glaring mistake!
wysiwyg - MemberInterior of cars at night always well lit
But never any headrests.
Cars involved in crashes but the airbags never go off
Computer text doing the teletype slow green typing thing. Even my old Apple II could put text on the screen faster than that.
Surveillance on the bad guys using the special telephoto/magnifying wing mirrors fitted to american cars....
If you've noticed 555 being the universal area code in US dramas why haven't you spotted 01632 in British film and TV?
skeuomorphic
Thanks Maccruiskeen, as you say impossible to Google and moreso to remember. I look forward to having this conversation next year!
Homer Simpson has a klondike 555 number.
The endless wormholes made Abronhill High in Gregory's Girl look like an extended Aperture Science test chamber. Or so my missus told me. On another note she was (very briefly) in a Taggert scene (Death Benefits) which also involved heavy wormhole reliance between the Kelvinhall Art Gallery and Scottish Ballet a mile or so away.
Ricochets. All the ricochets. You're more likely to hear to noise of the bugger zwooping by you than anything else. And lets not even get into the things people think can stop a bullet (Top Gear illustrated this well when they shot JC's Barchetta door filled with sand in the Iraq special).
Also, RPG's never have a burnout/destruct distance. And can be fired competently by literally anyone.
You're all just cynics. I know for a fact that all bombs have a digital countdown clock, all submarines and evil dictators' lairs have big red self destruct buttons, I know that when a hassled agent says it'll be about an hour before the battery runs out what they mean is 60.00 minutes.
But what I don't understand is exactly what these would-be world-dominators want. With all their powers Sauron, Voldemort, Dr No and all that gang just want to turn the place into a massive dark cold grimy shithole.
The way that any lab technician can rustle up a full DNA profile of the killer or victims within five minutes armed only with a pipette and desktop centrifuge. Wish I could do that. 🙄
People banging off rounds from a Magnum like it was a pop-gun. Those pistols are kin horrible, kick like two mules right over your head and hit your ears with an almighty wallop.
Film actors seem to have evolved away from using the lavatory.
People who get shot don't spend their last moments wailing for their mums or shouting religious references, as I would imagine they might in real life/death.
I've never managed to make my tyres squeal like that in a multi-storey car park.
Why don't all the fat people in America get shown in the films?
How can those people in Friends afford such accommodation with no visible means of support?
I've never seen such a big kitchen, what about the 21ft rule?
Ps part of which is why I don't go to the cinema and I don't own a telly.
I've never managed to make my tyres squeal like that in a multi-storey car park
You really are not trying hard enough 😆 (either that or your fan belt doesn't squeal)
During a conversation.
Shot goes back and forth between actors.
Speaker is shown from back or 3/4 saying something completely different to the audible dialogue.
I guess they didn't shoot all the angles they needed, but it still pulls me out of any scene that does it.
How can those people in Friends afford such accommodation with no visible means of support?
I could never figure out why the theme song was about the shitness of modern life, then they have that huge multi-million dollar apartment in Greenwich or wherever it's meant to be.
I've never seen such a big kitchen,
To be fair, big open plan kitchens like that are fairly common in America.
Talking of wormholes (but entirely justifiable), the Indian restaurant they used to go into in League of Gentlemen was actually an Indian takeaway, but in the show when they went through the door they appeared in a large restaurant, whereas in reality the shop was just a tiny room with a counter - that amused me 🙂
No-one, in any soap/drama, ever simply gets a new job and moves away, retires and moves out to the country etc. They either have to die in a gruesome accident or be murdered.
Supposedly massively tuned cars struggling to get to 100mph on a open straight road and the use on 100mph as an indication of travelling fast.
I've never managed to make my tyres squeal like that in a multi-storey car parkYou really are not trying hard enough (either that or your fan belt doesn't squeal)
Agreed, smooth concrete is ridiculously easy to get tyre squeal on.
my lad is watching Super Wings. There is a transforming aeroplane robot eating Kimchee. Can it digest it, or does a technician have to clean it all out later?
Trying to make a daytime shot look like night by editing it to look darker. And every single person on televisions ability to simply pack a single bag and leave with zero plans or money worries at the drop of a hat.
That ones easy, they're all survivalists and its their bug-out bag.
The way that any lab technician can rustle up a full DNA profile of the killer or victims within five minutes armed only with a pipette and desktop centrifuge. Wish I could do that.
Don't forget that the DNA sequencing bods are also ballistics specialists, top-drawer at using photo enhancement [i]and[/i] scene-of-crime experts 😆 🙄
Helicopters always sound like a Bell UH 1 with two blades. Even if its a 4 bladed Eurocopter.
Its also to do with the sounds we are used to. Bollywood sounds terrible to western ears...but they process it to make it bad because thats what the audience expect now. It's a brand. Any action movie is a subby rumbly thing.
Shooting day for night keeps production costs down.
Nature Valley bars - why do they have hay ricks in field of grass?
McCains Oven Chips - Scarecrows in a field of potatoes?
Edit: The inneficiency of Chuggington gets on my wick too!
Really hot people keeping their underwear on when they have sex. If I ever got a Hollywood starlet into bed, first thing would be to remove all items of clothing.
the time frame between the end of Revenge of the Sith and New hope is the lifespan of Luke... 18 years? but Obi-wan has turned from a late 30s McGregor to a late 60s Guiness and Anakin goes from a lean mid 20s to a fat balding heffer of about 60 odd.
& how come the droids don't recognise Obi-wan??
In the New Bourne movie Tech spy satellites and CCTV all work perfectly when, based in CIA Langley, they are tracking people amidst a whole city riot in Athens at the start; but then can't find their arse with both hands and a map in Las Vegas later on.
Planes (and spaceships) - always pulling full g maneuvers when actually all the need to do is cruise along.
Helicopters - can be heard from miles away they are the noisiest of noisy machines, yet they seem to surprise people all the time in movies.
No-one, in any soap/drama, ever simply gets a new job and moves away, retires and moves out to the country etc. They either have to die in a gruesome accident or be murdered.
Characters in eastenders used to have 'gone up north' for a bit if they'd been written out with an option to return (In the days before soap operas having an annual plane crash or earthquake to cull cast members). I always thought it would be fun if Frank Butcher turned up, in character, in the Rover Return.
BillMCPeople banging off rounds from a Magnum like it was a pop-gun. Those pistols are kin horrible, kick like two mules right over your head and hit your ears with an almighty wallop.
Oh I dunno. I found it okay, plus I actually hit the target with it. Can't say the same for the desert eagle, which send jarring pain through the wrists and elbows. However, when I was firing the .44 someone on the range had a giant handgun that looked absolutely comical. Every time that thing fired (15ft away) I felt a thump in the chest.
DezB - Member
Martial arts stuff - why do gangs always attack the "goodie" one at a time? They can't all be that stupid? (If you want a specific example, apart from Bruce Lee, watch the distinctly average remake
Give Jean Claude Van Johnson a watch for more on that.
Also,
At the start of guardians of the galaxy he picks up a rat thing a uses it as a microphone, then he gets rid and white boy dances for bit, close up to starlord with ratmike.
Sweet 16 was filmed where I'm from, and there are all kinds of wormholes going on. Plus a taxi rank that doesn't exist. Outside the worst pub on the planet!
City centre parking never seems a problem. Not only is there always a space, but so much that there's no messing around with reversing into tight spaces.
What about conveniently satisfying endings? Given the amount of unsolved murders in the states why is there no film where the baddies Do horrible, unspeakable things, you fail to empathise with them and they get off with no repercussions.
[i]Really hot people keeping their underwear on when they have sex. If I ever got a Hollywood starlet into bed, first thing would be to remove all items of clothing.[/i]
True! So many films where the bloke is like "Yeah, keep your top on, I'm not really that interested in what those boobies look like." (Obviously, unsaid). That's the most unrealistic thing EVAH!
punches to face...no marks, no black eye, no cut, no swelling nothing...
too many films to mention.
captainsasquatch - MemberCity centre parking never seems a problem. Not only is there always a space, but so much that there's no messing around with reversing into tight spaces.
Yeah, and people just get into their cars and drive off without checking their emails, logging the mileage and various other pre-flight checks or getting into pathetic emasculating confrontations with middle class couples who don't even live in the centre of town! 😆 😀
I'll add: constantly wiggling steering wheels whilst driving in a straight line.
You've clearly never driven a Yugo, the steering is exactly like that, there's so much slack in it you constantly have to keep correcting it.
Actually, the brakes and gearbox are precisely the same...
Yeah, and people just get into their cars and drive off without checking their emails, logging the mileage and various other pre-flight checks or getting into pathetic emasculating confrontations with middle class couples who don't even live in the centre of town! 😆 😀
Genuine giggle here
Why are laser beams so [i]slow[/i]? You shouldn't have to advance aim the things.
Living in Glasgow, see loads of wormholes in Taggart - seeing a university building as Maryhill police station when I'm just down the road from the real one, for instance.
It's funny when life imitates art, though - when there was a murder near here, the policeman guarding the scene couldn't wait to gleefully tell me that "there's been a murdurrr!" 😉
Everything shot in Edinburgh must have the route's designed by a black cab driver at festival time.
Shotguns blow a fist sized hole in a brick wall but neat wee hole in a baddie from 400m.
Theres a sound effect that I notice in lots of films. Every time someone falls off something high up they make the same scream, think I notice it more because I watched the original Star Wars on a continuous loop. I've heard it hundreds of times since.
Why do Legolas' eyes get bluer as the films get made?
Living in Glasgow, see loads of wormholes in Taggart
Years ago there was a Michael Elphick series, called Harry, filmed in Darlington. Loads of wormholes, driving the wrong way down one way streets, etc.
Every time someone falls off something high up they make the same scream
Look for the 'Wilhelm Scream' on Youtube.
The same scream has been used in movies since the 1950s. It was used in a lot of films back then and gets its name from a scene where a character called Wilhelm gets shot with an arrow but it it had been used a lot before then. The sound designer for Starwars rediscovered it on a tape in a sound library labelled 'Man being eaten by alligator' and used it first for a falling Storm Trouper in the original star wars and then started using it in everything he worked on (most of Lucas's and Speilberg's films) as a sort of signature and its since become a sound designers in-joke and is probably in at least 200 films now.
See also the 'Diddy Laugh'
Apparently Melanie Griffith had a boob job after filming Bonfire of the Vanities but then got called back to re-shoot a number of scenes. The yo-yo effect is supposed to be quite visible.
And all lifts have trapdoors in the roof and all buildings have ventilation shafts you can crawl through without tearing your trousers and getting filthy.
& how come the droids don't recognise Obi-wan??
"I'm placing these droids in your care. Treat them well. Clean them up. Have the protocol droid's mind wiped."
End of Ep.3
The bigger question is why Obi-Wan didn't recognise them. But then, why would he? Just one of those plot holes you have to deal with when Lucas cobbles together some guff to "expain" everything. See also: Where the hell did R2D2's rocket boosters go to?
You've clearly never driven a Yugo, the steering is exactly like that, there's so much slack in it you constantly have to keep correcting it.
Actually, the brakes and gearbox are precisely the same...
I believe a similar point was made in Die Hard With a Vengence
Great topic 8)
why people decide that they want to watch something but don't have the patience to get even half way through before asking lots of questions and forgetting who the characters were.
Here is a hint if you don't know either pay attention or maybe your not meant to know until a bit later.
^ Why I haven't watched a film with my mother for years.
Also, why is an eagle call necessary on any sweeping landscape shot?
I know. No matter what film I'm watching - as soon as I hear that echoey bald eagle sound clip it becomes 'B-Grade'. No matter where in the world they are or whatever the atmospheric conditions - [s]bald eagle[/s] red-taile hawk scrreech! Scotland in the pouring rain? [s]Bald eagle![/s] red-tailed hawk
Anyone seen "Stranger Things" on Netflix?
All the monsters and creepy goings on I can accept and suspend reality for.. but the teenage boy? letting his girlfriend? keep her bra on? the first time he gets her in bed? Bloody ridiculous!
