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I don't mean plot holes, just glaring balls ups by the entire production
Mrs Chubstr (she doesn't like that name) was watching Eastenders the other night, and so was I 😳 but it occured to me that the layout of the Vic and where the living room is in no way relates to where it should be.
When they look out the window, they're facing the square, but the layout says the windows should be on the other side of the pub.
Ok, I was hoping to think of something a bit cooler than that, but you get the idea
Despite the amount of time that everyone spends in the pub in Eastenders and Coronation Street there are very few alcoholics.
The number of murderers is disproportionately high however.
Especially Charlie Slater. Whenever anyone gets in the back of his cab, they are never seen again.
I think he's taking them up the allotments and eating them.
Why the top detectives have not been locked up as serial killers.
Quite how much spirits you can drink on tv and not end up being pissed
Historic things in historic films! 😀
If a film is set in Tudor times that nice Tudor mansion would be all shiny and new like a new build house. Not all worn and weathered with wobbly wood and creaky staircases.
And that castle wouldn't have half of it missing!
Film posters where the names of the actors listed are in a different order to those pictured.
When they look out the window, they're facing the square, but the layout says the windows should be on the other side of the pub.
A lot is just to be able to accommodate the practicalities of filming and to compose a pleasing image. Although you're presenting a domestic scene theres a camera and track in the room and around 20 people standing behind it. The sets are shaped to represent a domestic scene but the actually have to work for the film crew.
This is more obvious in things like soaps because they have to film really fast. In a one off drama / movie you can spend more time removing various walls, filming reverse angles etc and portray a more accurate space but soaps are much faster moving, so you have to shape spaces more like a theatre set so that all the action plays one way and you can get two-way conversations in one take even if its on multiple cameras. In cinema you'd do take after take - close ups, wides, and each persons view point, moving the set, props and camera to compose each shot - it takes days.
Whats really fun is watching old episodes of Taggart where they don't bother with any of that, no sets, just rock up in any room get the actors to play a game of sardines where they're standing shoulder to shoulder taking to the backs of each others heads and get it all in one take so you can all get to the pub early.
That green VW Beetles were incredibly popular in San Fransico around the time Bullitt was being filmed.
People firing guns indoors.... and subsiquenty being able to hear anything anyone says to them for the next hour.
It taking a seemingly known amount of time for the police to trace a phone call - just longer than it takes a husky voiced bad man to taunt the police. They should just get an iPhone. My phone tells me the number, where they're calling from and even takes a guess at who the caller might be if they're not in my address book before I even answer
Why do holiday companies allow Jessica Fletcher (Murder she wrote) to stay at their hotels, cruise ship or resorts, its guaranteed that someone will end up dead.
Why does no one in Eastenders have a washing machine or a television.
and the one that really twists my melon.....
Why did Bungle run about in the scuddy bare all day and then put on pyjamas to go to bed??
Why did Bungle run about in the scuddy bare all day and then put on pyjamas to go to bed??
And why is it, despite being so spoken and eloquent, the moment he gets behind the controls of the Millennium Falcon he makes Sylvester Stalone sound like Brian Sewell.
People firing guns indoors.... and subsiquenty being able to hear anything anyone says to them for the next hour.
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Why did Anakins pod racer have a shonky resin MTB brake lever? Were Lee Chi a well known manufacturer "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away"...?
Why would anyone go to the Midsummer's? the chances of returning are pretty slim.
People go to the pub, buy a pint, take 1 sip, chat for 2 minutes, then go home, leaving most of their drink on the bar.
Weasel - Member
Film posters where the names of the actors listed are in a different order to those pictured.
That's because the biggest start wants their name first, but also to be in the middle of the picture. It makes perfect sense when you consider the average Hollywood ego.
Why don't the baddies just shoot the goodies on the spot, right away, instead of tying them up with some woman who's got a pair of nail clippers in her handbag, saying they'll be back later to sort them out?
Not to mention the [url= http://theawesomer.com/the-empty-cup-awards/370144/ ]empty coffee cup problem.[/url]
Why does no one in Eastenders have a washing machine or a television.
Because:
A lot is just to be able to accommodate the practicalities of filming and to compose a pleasing image. Although you're presenting a domestic scene theres a camera and track in the room and around 20 people standing behind it. The sets are shaped to represent a domestic scene but the actually have to work for the film crew.
They have got a washing machine and a TV: they're on the fourth wall, which you never see.
maccruiskeen - Member
It taking a seemingly known amount of time for the police to trace a phone call - just longer than it takes a husky voiced bad man to taunt the police. They should just get an iPhone. My phone tells me the number, where they're calling from and even takes a guess at who the caller might be if they're not in my address book before I even answer
Wasn't the origin of this connected to the police not wanting it to be obvious that they can trace calls immediately these days?
I gather that the layout of the hotel in the Shining gets some Internet folks very agitated, but as I've never seen the movie it doesn't bother me.
I was very impressed with how far a couple of heroin addicts could run for in the opening scene of Trainspotting, and how far the John Menzies security guard chased them for. Also quite how the guy who ran his car into Renton managed to park up a lane that's no longer than a car and filled with bins and junk remains a mystery to me.
They have got a washing machine and a TV : they're on the fourth wall
Why do they go to the Laundrette and the pub all the time then?
Shows where they can't afford any weapons, so the actors are forced to improvise 😉
Car tyres that squeal on gravel roads in car chases......GAH!!!
and this:
holst - MemberNot to mention the empty coffee cup problem.
just stick something in the bloody cup, so it doesn't look empty. I don't know how you can tell it's empty but it moves differently, or something & once you notice you can't 'not notice' it.
The whole script for Prometheus. Nothing in that film made any sense, virtually every single scene contained something that made me utter "huh?". If any film credits Damon Lindelof as a scriptwriter then I go out of my way not to watch it, as it will be utter pants. I've no idea how he continues to find work in the film industry.
Oh and Captain Slog. He's mentioned in every single episode of Star Trek, but you never see the guy. Who is he?
Why do holiday companies allow Jessica Fletcher (Murder she wrote) to stay at their hotels, cruise ship or resorts, its guaranteed that someone will end up dead.
She travels from town to town committing brutal murders, which she then pins on innocent locals.
Anything to do with IT. They have some software that matches fingerprints or faces and it has this lovely flashy front end that not only matches fingerprints, but it brings up an image of each one and shows the bits that don't match before going to the next one, but faster than any human could process so it's useless information. It would take double the time to write all that graphics display code as well as the actual matching code. Not only that but the search would take 100x longer to run with all that graphical shite going on. Imagine having knocked up a clever script to hack into the baddies' systems, and then spending another week making a nice progress bar and graphical front end.. for what purpose exactly?
As ChrisL suggests, I think they purposely do this a) if neither Apple or Microsoft have paid them to show an actual real OS; b) so that no-one can get an inkling of how this stuff actually works by watching TV shows; and c) because in real life it'd be just a page of text which does not look flashy.
Everyone knows that, in order to hack in to a secure computer, you simply need to type "HACK COMPUTER" whilst drinking Diet Coke in yer Ma's basement.
They have some software that matches fingerprints or faces and it has this lovely flashy front end that not only matches fingerprints, but it brings up an image of each one and shows the bits that don't match before going to the next one,
And it makes that 'computer processing' bleepy noise while it does it. Same with bombs. You've hidden a bomb somewhere, taken great care to sneak it past security and make sure nobody know about your evil plot, but everytime the massive digital clock (?!) changes it goes "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"
And guns make that cocking noise every time they're moved.
Any hand held gun with a 10,000 round magazine (except the minigun in Terminator 2, etc. for the pedants). Sudden changes in daylight / weather conditions.
I can accept a lot of it stuff as watching people tapping away before finding out 3hrsater your forgot a bracket or semi colon and you need to start again gets dull 🙂 if I was to do facial recognition software it would just shows lots of faces from the Internet as a screen saver
Oh and coffee cups.. yeah.. that's just the tip of that iceberg. Once you start really looking, then tons of stuff is just bollocks. They are betting on you watching the actors who are delivering lines - so start by looking at the people who aren't speaking.. or even the extras.. then look carefully around the rooms.. 🙂
No one ever seems to need a wee. also those cars that blow up when they roll downhill? I'm not getting in one of those
Why does nobody in East Enders settle down to watch East Enders?
Why does nobody in East Enders settle down to watch East Enders?
Because it's crap.
Animal noise sound clips - always the same.
Horses, turkeys and eagles always have the same exact sound clip on whichever media, including many videogames.
Also, why is an eagle call necessary on any sweeping landscape shot?
She travels from town to town committing brutal murders, which she then pins on innocent locals.
I wonder, is Jessica Fletcher a character in the real writers books, being played out in real life, so in essence we're watching a book. Or Is Jessica Fletcher a writer who gets involved in all these murders, theen writes about them?
I think she commits the murders, solves them, then writes the books to clean up.......what a bitch
Everyone knows that, in order to hack in to a secure computer, you simply need to type "HACK COMPUTER" whilst drinking Diet Coke in yer Ma's basement.
No need. Password is 'geoff' (from 1:50)
And it makes that 'computer processing' bleepy noise while it does it.
This goes back to the early days of teletypers. Also flashing lights - ENIAC (one of the first computers, built in 1946) that had rows of flashing lights as its output. So ever since then, we've had flashing lights.
Why do holiday companies allow Jessica Fletcher (Murder she wrote) to stay at their hotels, cruise ship or resorts, its guaranteed that someone will end up dead.
Anything to do with IT.
Double whammy here: One of the Spanish TV seems to be repeating "Murder, she wrote" at the moment, yesterday's episode was a classic:
80's virtual reality:
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... and despite the limitations of 80's computers, the output was pretty good:
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Martial arts stuff - why do gangs always attack the "goodie" one at a time? They can't [i]all[/i] be that stupid? (If you want a specific example, apart from Bruce Lee, watch the distinctly average remake of Old Boy.)
The tall blond one on Strictly and her orange partner - why orange?
How photographs turn out nice and sharp even though they were with a 400+mm lens minus tripod.
The software used for sharpening up images to identify suspects/registration numbers/times on watches etc is awesome.
In the first LOTR film,(near the end)some of the Uruk-hai extras are being far too careful coming down through the woods to finish off Boromir.Once you spot them it's hilarious. "Oooo, watch that branch,mind your foot" 🙂
My boys and I called it the 'Mincing Orcs scene'
Why in Holby City are broken and blooded people taken straight from the mangled remains of their car/bus/hotel/office straight onto a ward, seemingly completely by-passing A&E (aka Casualty)
Speaking of lay-out - can you imagine what the outside of this building would look like!
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Also, why is an eagle call necessary on any sweeping landscape shot?
It's actually a red-tailed hawk sound. And it's such a widespread convention that that sound automatically evokes the people struggling through desert concept wherever you hear it. My daughter bought a stuffed one that made that sound when squeezed, and it really was quite a bizarre mental discontinuity to keep hearing it in normal situations.
Why all telephone numbers in America contain 5-5-5.
Also, why all cars make a blip blip noise when you remotely lock or unlock them. So 1980's.
Finally why do cars always slightly roll forward in America when the driver gets out of them. I've drove and parked cars in America many times and this has never happened to me.
Why all telephone numbers in America contain 5-5-5.
That's deliberate. No numbers beginning 555 are allocated, so that they can give them out in TV shows and films and no poor bugger is going to get harrassed by weirdos who call it.
Along similar lines, whenever there's an emergency, someone always looks up towards camera and says theatrically "Call 911!". This is deliberate from when the number was introduced, so that the number and when to call it gets drilled into the population.
Finally why do cars always slightly roll forward in America when the driver gets out of them. I've drove and parked cars in America many times and this has never happened to me.
They are automatics, and they put them in park which sticks a peg into a cog in the gearbox. There's always a bit of play in it though which lets you roll the car back and forwards a few inches. Happens to any automatic - try it. If the car's on a slope you use the brakes to stop, the pedal must be depressed to engage park, then when you let go of the footbrake the car rolls forwards to take up the slack in the drivetrain and peg.
Don't people realise that sitcoms and soaps are made in studios?
Doesn't even need words
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Has anyone else noticed that sound effects from 1990's Rare produced games like Jet Force Gemini, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Banjo Kazooie are identical to those used a lot in film and TV...?
Why all telephone numbers in America contain 5-5-5.
That one quite famously came from an early film/TV show where a random number was given as a phone number for [insert famous person] and every idiot watching it started calling it and Mrs Smith at 47 Acacia Avenue got very fed up of receiving millions of calls from TV-watching idiots all thinking they were calling the [famous person].
555 is not a geneuine area code so is prefectly safe to use.
No-one in any action film ever needs to eat, sleep, drink or go to the toilet outside of a dramatic scene.
captainsasquatch - Member
That green VW Beetles were incredibly popular in San Fransico around the time Bullitt was being filmed
And Dodge Chargers had about eight hubcaps...
Also another convention - whenever they change to a different interior scene, they *always* have to show a one second shot of the outside of the building first. Which I suppose is understandable, since you wouldn't otherwise know you'd moved locations necessarily.
There are tons of these conventions. They make up a whole visual meta-language that's common to all TV shows. Where you haven't got time to explain everything in detail as you would in a book, it forms an essential extra channel of communication with the viewer to get your point across. Along with character conventions too - that you would otherwise call cliches.
Same with the incidental music. We all know certain music means certain things - that would take ages to explain visually or with dialogue.
Has anyone else noticed that sound effects from 1990's Rare produced games like Jet Force Gemini, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Banjo Kazooie are identical to those used a lot in film and TV...?
Yes - the bleep from XCOM: Enemy Unknown (the first one) comes up in loads of things. Not sure if the game took it from the standard sound effects library or the other way round.
why do microphones always squawk with feedback when the main character picks them up?
Why all telephone numbers in America contain 5-5-5.Also, why all cars make a blip blip noise when you remotely lock or unlock them. So 1980's.
Finally why do cars always slightly roll forward in America when the driver gets out of them. I've drove and parked cars in America many times and this has never happened to me.
Because...
555 was an agreed fictional area code, it means that they don't have to worry about accidentally giving away a real persons telephone number, but more importantly not someone's number than doesn't exist at the time of filming - there are a lot of strange people in the US who struggle to separate fact from fiction - real grown up adult people who will try to call a fictional character given the chance.
The 'blip blip' thing is actually not that outdated in the US, my SILs car does it, it's about 3 years old - it's partly due to a inherent distrust in technology (we shouldn't' think that's just a US thing, a lot of what we think are the sounds of mechanical things moving around are fake - cash-points for example could be completely silent, the 'counting money' noise is fake and the noise of central locking working is 'optimised') and partly to help the owner find their car in car parks etc. Okay it might be a US thing, they had 'aerials' on their mobiles long after they were functional.
And finally, the slight roll forward, US driver have always preferred automatics to manuals, and it's not uncommon to just "put it in park" over there, it's not meant to be used as a replacement for handbrake (some US driver still consider these to be manual 'emergency' brakes) they sometimes roll a bit. It wasn't long ago lots of US drivers would stop, put it in park and leave the engine running for quick stops - lots of videos of cars driving unmanned in circles with the dog who knocked the gearstick yapping away.
So there 😉
And Dodge Chargers had about eight hubcaps...
And that they go down hill, turn left, down hill, turn left and they're still going down hill.
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555 was an agreed fictional area code
Not just the area code, the first three numbers of a 7 digit local number too.
Okay it might be a US thing, they had 'aerials' on their mobiles long after they were functional.
Not only - how many washing machines still have a rotary programme selector long after the original music-box style mechanical controller is obselete?
I went to see the new Bourne film the other day. What stuck me was the sounds coming from speeding vehicles all seemed to be created by 1970's V8s. Fair enough for the scenes in Las Vegas, a bit odd in an Audi Q7 in Berlin and just plain bizarre in the Merc Sprinter when they get to London. Bwarrp!
And Dodge Chargers had about eight hubcaps...And that they go down hill, turn left, down hill, turn left and they're still going down hill.
If you've ever driven in San Francisco you'll realise that they go through two or three wormholes so that "that" hill ends up next to "that" beach etc etc...
Oh and coffee cups.. yeah.. that's just the tip of that iceberg. Once you start really looking, then tons of stuff is just bollocks. They are betting on you watching the actors who are delivering lines - so start by looking at the people who aren't speaking.. or even the extras.. then look carefully around the rooms..
A film would have to be spectacularly dull to manage that though - the meat puppets are too interesting even when they're rubbish. I go to screenings of things I've worked on and have a professional interest in looking around the edges of the people to check the things I've made and after 15 minutes you just zone out and start watching the film instead.
What's the word for that? Eg a bell style electronic ring tone, or designing guis to look like brushed aluminium etc? My camera has a cheesy mirror slap and film advance sound effect even though it's a digital compact...
Was bugging me the other day.
LimboJimbo
. What stuck me was the sounds coming from speeding vehicles all seemed to be created by 1970's V8s
I was just about to post this. Every car that goes fast in a film must have a petrol V8. Even the shitty Jeep Renegade Bruce Wayne hijacks at the start of Batshit v Sourman.
Anyaway. I would add every Steven Seagal fight scene ever. People shooting folk and things with hand guns over long range.
And one that really rustled my jimmies was in a recent episode of Game of Thrones where The Hound is cutting up a tree with an axe. Or rather, repeatedly smashing the same part of the trunk. Lovejoy walks over and says something like "ayyyy I've never seen a man swing an axe like you before".
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And the little two stroke scrambler in Terminator (2?) has about eighteen gears
[i]Doesn't even need words[/i]
Don't even need binoculars in most films - they have, what me and my brother named, "Zoom lens eyes". Oh who's that in the distance..? ZOOOOOM!
I also love how easy it is to knock someone unconscious with a single punch, but they wake up after a couple of minutes without any apparent ill effects.
Also, why is an eagle call necessary on any sweeping landscape shot?
It's actually a red-tailed hawk sound. And it's such a widespread convention that that sound automatically evokes the people struggling through desert concept wherever you hear it. My daughter bought a stuffed one that made that sound when squeezed, and it really was quite a bizarre mental discontinuity to keep hearing it in normal situations.
Similarly theres a species of frog native to LA that can be heard in any deserted scene anywhere in the world. 🙂
Its stock sounds in factual TV that are quite funny - if you're watching horse racing its impractical to have live sound of the far end of the track and all you'd actually hear is the engines of the tracking vehicles filming. So live coverage has had the same slowed down recording of stampeding buffalo for sound for decades.
If anyone is interested enough I'll try and find the link to a radio doc about the guy who sound-designs the olympics coverage - absolutely mental the lengths they go to in sport. (And noticeably absent in this years olympics.) Things like the sound of paddles in the water in rowing or the swoosh of skis recorded days ahead and played along live with a sampler.
A sound recordist got a bafta for 'The sound of the wimbledon tennis final' a few years back.
I reckon the reason the the TDF is more watchable that the Vuelta is because the TDF sounds better.
jimjam - MemberI was just about to post this. Every car that goes fast in a film must have a petrol V8. Even the shitty Jeep Renegade Bruce Wayne hijacks at the start of Batshit v Sourman.
And the engine must be either accelerating or decelerating; you hardly ever hear a car engine at constant revs.
Oh, and 32 speed gearboxes in car chases......
And indestructible tyres on cars that can be driven across kerbs at high speed without puncturing.
Fishtailing chase cars that manage to stay with high performance sports cars.....oh look, that '82 pick-up is able to keep up with a Porsche 911 round those sharp corners....
And the little two stroke scrambler in Terminator (2?) has about eighteen gears
Yeah,and its a 4 stroke XR 🙂
Mi2
If you are going to do slo-mo of the bikes jumping over things,you must know that people are going to spot the tyre swaps.Unless there was a new MX sports bikes range from Triumph (Daytona and a Speed Triple) 🙂
Yup, I was going to post motorbike engine noises, once movie dubs a bmw boxer twin with a 4-cylinder engine, drives me slightly nuts every time.
He's just keeping the two-stroke in terminator on the pipe 😉
Has anyone else noticed that sound effects from 1990's Rare produced games like Jet Force Gemini, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Banjo Kazooie are identical to those used a lot in film and TV...?
Anyone realised this same scream has been used on dozens of films
What's the word for that? Eg a bell style electronic ring tone, or designing guis to look like brushed aluminium etc? My camera has a cheesy mirror slap and film advance sound effect even though it's a digital compact...
Was bugging me the other day.
I know the one you mean - Its that word thats really easy to forget - and really hard to find with a google. And I only found took time to re-find it because I should be typing a tender document instead.
skeuomorphic
A film would have to be spectacularly dull to manage that though
Works better on films you've seen a lot.
If anyone is interested enough I'll try and find the link to a radio doc about the guy who sound-designs the olympics coverage
Me, I am! Ta 🙂
I also love how easy it is to knock someone unconscious with a single punch,
Sadly cannot seem to find the clip from Morons from Outer Space on Youtube 🙂
Re car chases - have a good look at how fast they are actually moving...
Tyre squeal sounds when a car is off-road.
Few people lock their car when they leave it.
Alien. Tagline; "In Space, No-one Can Hear You Scream"
Opening scene: the Nostromo rumbles through the vacuum of space...
Opening scene: the Nostromo rumbles through the vacuum of space..
That's because maccruiskeen's mate has added the soundtrack.
Me, I am! Ta
theres a precise version of it here - from there there was a link to a full length version of the original documentary thats available to download as an MP3- but the link now seems to be dead - I can upload the file somewhere if the short version tickles your tastebuds
[url= http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-sound-of-sports/ ]http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-sound-of-sports/[/url]
EDIT actually - strike that - this is a re-issue of the podcast and now has the full doc in it rather than an edit
skeuomorphic
Thats my new word of the day,thanks for that maccruiskeen 🙂
Oh, and people refer to all IT malware as a 'virus', when it's usually some kind of rootkit exploit.
skeuomorphic
Thats my new word of the day,thanks for that maccruiskeen
bookmark this page because you[i] will[/i] forget it!
I don't know how you can tell it's empty but it moves differently, or something & once you notice you can't 'not notice' it.
Especially when they drink from a full cup by swigging it high enough to get a faceful.
How photographs turn out nice and sharp even though they were with a 400+mm lens minus tripod.
"Enhance!" - "ok!"
Anyone realised this same scream has been used on dozens of films
The Willhelm Scream is a bit of a running gag in the industry I believe.
I'll add: constantly wiggling steering wheels whilst driving in a straight line.