You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
Bog rolls chucked on when your team or the opposition are shite, noisy rattles, and the song All we are saying is give us a goal
Thankfully where I get to sit occasionally at Newcastle I don't hear racism. It's a good thing.

“He’s got a pineapple on his head, heeeee’s gottta pineapple on is Yead”
You don’t hear that anymore..
Beach Balls....
The chant about Posh Spice.
“Glory glory Man Uniiiiiiiiiiiited”
"Park, Park, wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
It could be worse
You could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house"
Do Wrestlers hamburger stalls still exist? Used to love the kibbled onions.
The chant about Posh Spice.
But does she? My wife's first (and only experience) of a football match included experiencing that chant and she asked me to tell her what everyone was singing 🙂
Prawn Sandwiches only nowadays Gobuchul 😉
Prawn Sandwiches only nowadays Gobuchul 😉
I'm not really thinking about Old Trafford and the half and half scarf ****ers, thinking more lower leagues or just in general. I'm sure they were still a thing in Newcastle City Centre in the early 90's.
I guess the likes of MacD and BK killed them off.
Roasted chestnuts
<h1 class="post-title">Things you never see or here at football anymore</h1>
A dictionary?
Wagon Wheels.
I know you can get them in shops now*, but there was a period in the 90's where the only place to get them was at the tea stand in a lower league football ground. I was convinced the Football league had been offered a job lot of remnants.
* and no, they aren't as a big as they were.
alcoholic football players are now rare, as are 'proper' fans....
Don’t sing, sit down, shut up and watch. Fly into Heathrow, go to Harrods and turn up at half time.
Lower league football hasn’t changed much. At Ramsbottom United you can get pie and peas and a cup of builders tea in a proper mug, then squeeze through the gap in the fence for a cheeky half-time pint at the adjoining cricket club bar 🙂
I’m just reading Stuart Maconies ‘The Pie at Night’. An homage to working class culture. Obviously there’s loads about the footy and the changes over the years. Well worth a read
“Oi Davis, you're a black John Jensen"
heard at Highbury 1994
dont hear any racism now though plenty of homophobia from visiting fans at the bridge.
though a season ticket holding friend of mine who takes me to games now and a again is that bloke who ranted about liverpool and the "scouse scum” in a fan interview then lost his job.
funny thing is he got loads of job offers afterwards!?
At Ramsbottom United you can get pie and peas and a cup of builders tea in a proper mug,
But can you get a Wrestlers hamburger with kibbled onions???
It's bugging me now, when did they disappear. I'm sure they were sold at our local swimming baths as well in the 80's.
Can't beat Junior football for the patter, I recall a game years ago, away team up 2-0 after 20 minutes, big centre half who had very, very bad alopecia shouts, 'Keep it simple boys, this is toffee!' (a culloqialism for 'this is easy')
Wee pensioner home team fan shouts 'You been washing yer hair wi toffee big yin?' Harsh, and the big fella was gutted, but by **** it was funny!
I would imagine that if you went to an evening game at Old Trafford then you’d definitely get one, seeing as everything within a three mile radius of the ground smells of fried onions 😉
most disgusting language I have ever heard was with my fellow away Arsenal fans last season. I was truly ashamed. Saddest part was the young 14 year old or so lad screaming the same bile as his vile bigot pig dad . Kick it Out and so on have done wonders but alas it still continues and goes largely unpunished.
Aye, there's so much anger at footy, lots of folk will spend all game abusing away players/fans instead of singing about their own team, proper gammon anger. The bigotry that Rangers n Celtic quite rightly get vilified for at times up here is reciprocated back at them at every away ground, by fans who every other day will criticise RnC fans for being bigots.
If it wasn't as sad it'd be funny.
most of the abuse was at our own players!
Oh aye, that too, every team has a scapegoat....
I canny be arsed going any more, it's such a waste of time, no guarantee of actually being entertained either.
My last experience of racism was a good while back ... Engerland v Brazil at Wembley. Some meathead started a racist chant and the stewards were on him and booted him out in seconds.
Anotger thing that also seems to have thankfully gone are the disgusting Munich/Hillsborough/Heisel chants. It was always a tiny minority of idiots, but it’s just not tolerated any more. Football grounds are generally much more civilised places nowadays, thankfully. And yes, something has been lost, no doubt, but who would seriously want a return to that? Bananas being chucked onto pitches, and all that?
Never had a doubts about taking my daughter to her first big match when she was 8. And she loved it! You wouldn’t have done that ‘back in the day’
Aye, I remember being at a champions league game, break in play, and some wee **** starts making monkey chants and actions at the great Lillian Thuram. I wanted to leather the ****.
dont hear any racism now though plenty of homophobia from visiting fans at the bridge.
Last time I went I had to get my Chelsea supporting girlfriend to translate the chanting was that racist! You know it's going to be bad when the pub closes it's doors when the singing starts.
Headmaster referees in their spare time, one on here i think spotting my spelling mistake, sheepskin coats like John Motson, fat cigars a few managers and perms
Don't see many bananas flung at black players these days.
I’m just reading Stuart Maconies ‘The Pie at Night’. An homage to working class culture. Obviously there’s loads about the footy and the changes over the years. Well worth a read
sounds interesting so just looked it up. didnt realise SM had written so many books, id quite happily read em all going by the amazon bumph... weirdly thats almost stopping me from pressing 'buy' as i cant decide 😀
has it got any good retro pics in, or is it an easy kindle read?
A " hot leg "..piss hitting the back of your leg and splashing on the step behind you ..
Those were the days !
SP - he’s a great writer. I’d recommend them all. This is a belter. Just finished The Long March from Jarrow, which was excellent too! Really political, putting the Jarrow Crusade in the context of Brexit and Trump
Can’t beat Junior football for the patter
One of the football magazines used to have a regular feature on that sort of stuff - the so called 'Bloke Behind Me'
I've heard some terrific humour over the years, some of it repeatable. The one I remember most was at a terrible lower league Reading game; both sides were dire even in relation to an age where centre halves could control a ball further than most normal people could kick it. This was the era where people didn't play from the back - never mind clearing it into the stand, it was a regular occurrence for the ball to go over the stand. And in one such break in play (may have been an injury, which also in those days would probably mean at the very least broken bones if not partial amputation of a lower limb - but immediately fixable by application of a cold sponge out of a plastic bag of iced water)
And as the players stood around waiting for the magic sponge to do its job, TBBM calls out..... well don't just stand there! Practice!
Even the players laughed.
me
totally random but was googling for something else and found this..... genius
for premiership, on pitch fighting - there's usually a big group forming and shoving but actual full on punches connecting and team mates standing back letting it happen like the 70s is gone now I suspect
Wasn’t it Lee Bowyer who punched one of his own team-mates? 😂
Nobody throws pizza at each other in the tunnel any more. I used to bloody love the needle between Keane and Vierra. Both gave as good as they got..
The assertion that Peter Reid does, indeed, have a monkeys heed?
Mullets.
That was proven to true Perchy ..so no need ..
Aaaaaaah.....the Blue Monkey?
I miss when you used to have shots on target, and a defence. Golden days indeed
Never been to a game, but I reckon grown men just getting up and saying “No bother” after taking an errant foot to the shin or back of calf and then falling over never happens any more. From what I’ve seen on TV a misplaced kick to the lower leg involves tears and clutching of the face like you’ve just been attacked with acid.
The assertion that Peter Reid does, indeed, have a monkeys heed?
Perchy, it wasn't just a monkey's heid, it was a ****ing monkey's heid.
As hod, has clarified, it is indeed true.
Rattles and stands.
The peanut man who could throw a bag so accurately he'd make millions as an NFL quarterback!
I don't hear any racist chants at Spurs any more although you do hear the odd knuckle dragger make a ripe comment, this seems to be getting less common now though which is a good thing. As for the abusive chants at the opposing team/fans, I'm all for that, especially the goons. It's quite therapeutic letting it all out for 90 mins and part of the atmosphere, if you don't like it go and watch rugby or cricket (sitting down).
these days you never see a dog on the pitch
Or a streaker
Friend of mine went to a Liverpool home game & was hit on the head by a soup ladle. Can’t say you see that much these days.
didnt realise SM had written so many books, id quite happily read em all going by the amazon bumph…
You can save time by only reading one and extrapolating from there.
You don't see this
And you don't hear things like this anymore
Balls getting stuck in the mud.
Players falling over due to contact.
Personalities that look like kids TV characters
Combovers.
Snowball fights.
Bellies.
A lack of teeth.
The smell. Bovril mixed with sweat, farts, pies and beer.
Deep into the second half, a phalanx of the boys in blue would walk in front of the home supporters, going outside in case of shenanigans after the game. Every man, woman and child would start to chant, sing or whistle the theme tune from Laurel and Hardy as they passed.
Stadium security must be a lot tighter these days as well. I've seen dogs, cats and even a fox on the pitch during games in the 70's/80's. Haven't seen any kind of animal make an appearance on the pitch for years (no Vinnie Jones jokes, please) and I'm at every home and quite a few away games each season. It would be a bit of light relief after having to watch the debacle that my club's turned into this season, believe me.
Orange ball in the snow
"Err ra tablet, err ra macaroon!"
Kwenchy Kups for the weans, Tartan Special for your da, yer uncle, yer granda
Invacars lined up round the track between the pitch and the stand.
Bolton scoring.
Proper punch ups....thats what! None of this touching heads nonsense and then rolling around on the floor. This is proper stuff:
Chomp bars on the pitch at Griffin Park