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Not astrophysics 'n stuff. Or wimminz
But things where you think 'why on earth would anyone even do that?'
Five Live have given over their entire days coverage to.... golf. Listening to golf on the radio? All day? Seriously...? Why? Why would anyone do that?
Your nominations for things totally beyond your comprehension please...
Wigan
Specifically the one way system
Eating tuna.
Pans that aren't non-stick
Five Live have given over their entire days coverage to…. golf.
Yet Radio 4's coverage of a Scrabble game was brilliant...
Love island. My other half and kids watch it religiously. All three are intelligent individuals, yet they seem obsessed with this abomination of a program.
Grapefruit. It mucks up medicine, no amount of sugar can fix it, causes problems in cocktails and punches. It's like a decent orange has been injected with headlice lotion.
Watching the TdF live.
Watching 5 day tests live.
'Eating' Huel.
Smoking cigars.
Living in London.
Greggs. I mean, why?? ;0)
Smoking and tattoos but mainly prawn cocktail crisps
Brexit
Kids being damaged by social media. Why can't they just turn the damned things off?
Ties.
Wear one if you like but don't insist others should.
Magnets
witchcraft I tell you!
#bloody cyclists
So you have a group of people who voluntarily choose a method of transport that free up road space, lessens pollution, makes themselves healthier etc etc. Then you have another group who would happily see them regulated off the road? Because of what? And where will they go, it makes no rational sense.
And weirdly its only Anglophone countries that seem to have this attitude.
People who buy non stick pans. Why would you want something that lasts 5 minutes and leaves chips of plastic all over your food, stops you from using proper utensils on it etc?
Stainless with nice thick conductor sandwich base please.
Rabid Social Media. Everyone’s entitled to a voice, but the vitriol some people carry around with them is very disturbing.
Local Planning Rules. Different rules for different postcodes. Planning committees made up of staunch MAWCB’s with nothing better to do than dish out “no” to people they don’t know, nor care about, all because they feel some need to push their ill gotten power onto others.
JLR. Awful shitty vulgar vehicles bought by the same type of people.
Modern Banking. Seemless transactions and virtual payments controlled by expansive algorithms not fit for purpose.
Corporate Director merry-go-round. 5 Senior Directors in 12mths makes for instability and uncertainty.
Project Fear. A whole political ethos for keeping the unwashed voting for you, The washed betrayed by the cloud of “it might be you....”
Trump
ITV
The M6 gantry signs telling you the M6 toll is clear, if course it is clear, you have to pay to use it! I need to know about the main M6, not the toll
Heavy metal. Grown-ups listening to songs about raping and monsters and whatever other silly things they sing about with the same voice and guitar sounds they always used.
(and there is no point responding, cos I still won't get it) 😆
Other people! I mean WTF is going on in their heads?
Ties.
Wear one if you like but don’t insist others should.
Ties are like religion. They should not be forced on others.
Kids being damaged by social media. Why can’t they just turn the damned things off?
Purely because of this......old people. Wittering on about ‘the youth’ and how technology is doing damage since forever.
People watching other people watch TV.
Football.
Very loud people with no consideration for others.
People that don't understand when you just don't want to do something.
Pushy people.
Boris
Pineapple on pizza 🙁
Farage
Just don't get me started.......
And all other populist politicians.
Pineapple on pizza 🙁
Does go well with Ham....
Ties.
Wear one if you like but don’t insist others should.
Listen I want to dress like a 17th Century Croatian Mercenary and I bloody will. Don't embarrass me by not joining in.
Parked cars blocking pavements.
Traffic lights turning green for no oncoming cars and red for oncoming cars.
People at work talking to me about football golf and cricket.
People assuming you didn't ride your bike into work due to the rain.
Swans.
Brexit.
Using the same memes on every post.
Swans.
You clearly haven't eaten one
Riding or driving stupidly loud motorbikes or cars and revving them so they are even louder when you go under a bridge!! Just **** off!
Using the same memes on every post.
Don’t tell Joe Cocker.
Chicken on pizza
Chicken with pasta
The amount of salt in gammon
Ready made mashed potato
Auto-feed strimmers
Urdu
Pugs
Timpson's not being equipped to adjust my watch bracelet
Anyone that votes for a right wing political party - Conservatives, UKIP, Brexit Party. I just can't fathom such selfishness and ignorance.
Religion; make some stuff up and try to give it legitimacy by saying it's the word of God.
What the point? Why not just acknowledge that right and wrong is just the arbitrary consensus groups of people acknowledge in order to live together in some semblance of order.
And Superdry, obviously.
+1 JLR
People who wear fleeces, jumpers and/or jackets in hot weather.
Another, I forgot to add it in my post above..
Yappy Fashion Dogs. Pointlessly, pointless. Just like their owners.
Folk who throw banana skins on the ground.
Folk who cycle too fast round blind corners. There might be banana skins!!
Yappy Fashion Dogs. Pointlessly, pointless. Just like their owners.
Dogs. All of them. If you don't need one for work.
Smoking and vaping. It stinks, you stink, you think you look cool but you look ridiculous, you’re damaging your health and those around you. You stink. Smokers think it’s ok to litter, to stand outside shop/pub/restaurant doors inflicting your cancerous stench on everyone. When I come supreme leader it will be abolished
You ******** stink
Yappy FashionDogs. Pointlessly, pointless. Just like their owners.
FTFY.
#Dugsareformugs
recent Youtube recommendations...
5 hours of Radio 4 Shipping Forecast (that clearly isn't a forecast any more)
APL (the only programming language I've ever encountered that needs its own custom font, and makes your head implode)
Bib shorts.
LOUD ADVERTS using rock 'music' on classical music stations - looking at you Cfm.
Adverts that are so for da yoof that I have no idea what they are advertising.
Social media what ever that is.
My water bill.
HMRC SA guide.
How to generate a tab from sheet music on Sibelius or NCH.
The cage system on guitar or why the movable scale works with any note anywhere on the frets.
Modern life generally.
Why I left Scotland.
Water saving urinals.
Urinals that don’t flush then.
Groundbreaking.
People who buy non stick pans. Why would you want something that lasts 5 minutes and leaves chips of plastic all over your food, stops you from using proper utensils on it etc?
User error? I have years-old non-stick pans and have never experienced any of the problems you cite.
Rabid Social Media. Everyone’s entitled to a voice, but the vitriol some people carry around with them is very disturbing.
... he said, with no trace of irony, on a chat forum.
People who choose to watch/listen to commercial radio/tv. And another for rock music
Bib shorts.
They are quite good at keeping middle aged spread from escaping under your jersey...
LOUD ADVERTS using rock ‘music’ on classical music stations – looking at you Cfm
If it's any consolation, one of the rock stations (probably Planet Rock, I'm not 100% certain though) is currently inflicting us with adverts for a classical station too.
Pineapple on pizza 🙁
When I was younger my mum used to put banana in with home made curry. Why?
Anyone who watches Love Island, towie, etc.
Abbreviating Until to Till - you're adding a letter. Surely it is 'til?
Anyone who orders EXpresso.
kitchen towels that don't absorb water.
shoe laces that come undone, even when tied tightly in a double knot.
too many other things to list.
Kanye West.
British herd behaviour. So things like panic buying, clogging up the motorways on the first day of holiday, and accepting super long queues for places like the M6 and the local supermarket carpark. I've lived in and/or spent significant amount of time in a number of countries and never seen anything like it.
Netball
mainly prawn cocktail crisps
All potato crisps.
Greasy, tasteless, pointless waste of a good spud.
As TJ says; people.
Water saving urinals.
Urinals that don’t flush then.
Groundbreaking.
There's a bit more to it than that.
...holidaying in Dubai or the like (double whammy of no morals and no taste)
...driving a w**ker tank (double whammy of no morals and no taste)
...people who HKLP (huge cross over with people who commit the crimes above)
...people who say "pacific" when they mean "specific"
Eating tuna
Eating SpatchCock
WorldPay merchant website and paper statements. The document I have ever seen that has a "Summary of Summaries".
Adoration of the royal family.
Men who wear their hair in buns...wtf.
People who move to a woodland area and moan about the trees/leaves/pine needles etc
People who leave/drop/throw dog poo bags
People who douse themselves in aftershave/perfume (usually stinking smokers to hide the stench, did I mention that they stink?)
The disappearance of "Mike Smith"
Why electric cars don't have that roof and bonnet made from solar panels.
Leave it in the sunshine and it can't be bothered to fill itself up.
Very religious christians who vote tory and don't like the principles of socialism. Seems counter intuitive.
Populist political stance of otherwise intelligent people. (I totally get the politicians reasons)
Why catholics and protestants perpetuate dehumanising each other to the point of hatred. in Glasgow. Pretend it's to do with football, stain every aspect of life with it (for example, the indy ref was largely judged IMO not on the benefits of choice, but on which group votes one way, the other group votes the opposite) and make it an instant judge of character (the first question asked if you meet someone is 'do you work?', like it's optional, the second, 'what team do you support?') it all seems incredibly backward thinking and anti progressive.
Bus drivers who don’t wait for people to sit down before pulling away from the bus stop;
Taxi drivers who use their horns instead of knocking on the door;
People who moan at the council about the streets being full of litter, not stopping to think that it is people who drop litter, not the council;
A room full of drama teachers listening to Björk;
Grown men with replica shirts worn over their jumpers, who stand up and stretch out their arms when the opposing team fail to hit the target;
An assortment of scriptwriters, novelists and playwrights who own Agas but don’t know how to use them;
A musical equipment reviewer responsible for an article titled “Microphone of the Month”;
A woman who described herself as “A little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally, a little bit Sex And The City” and chose to call her baby boy Fred as a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert. Bit of advice: call him Rupert, it fits, and besides it’s a good name. Don’t be calling him Fred or Archie, with all its cheeky but lovable working class scamp connotations, unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life in William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot.
Also being held is a whole wall full of teenagers spitting needlessly;
An amateur thug in camouflage trousers whose Japanese fighting dog had run amok on a Swindon council estate;
A man from the record company who said that George Michael continues to challenge social taboos through his music;
Lisa Riley;
Continuity announcers introducing comedy shows;
A pub band who get uppity when everyone goes to the bar during a song they’ve written themselves;
A group of football fans referred to as Commodores, as in once, twice, three times a season, who feed sugar lumps to police horses at Cup Finals;
An artist who said his next album would be more “song-based”;
A man who informs people that he gets up at six am every morning and seemed to want a medal;
People who say they speak as they find and are somehow proud of it;
Journalists who try to spell an interviewee’s laugh;
An organisation who declared an awareness week for awareness weeks;
And a council worker who dropped litter.
Nigel, is that you? 🙂
Love STW, you're never more than 2 mins away from someone who'll get a HMHB reference
Why people care what music other people listen to
The disappearance of Hora McCain
Smokers in outside eating areas and beer gardens, go and kill yourself with fags/vapes somewhere no one has to breathe in your habit
****ing geese
How big planes fly and really big boats float. Don’t get me wrong, I know how it works, but every time I see the former flying and the latter floating my brain sort of goes “argh, how”
Hating people or a group of people for any reason. Individuals makes sense, whole groups I can’t fathom.
Why we still make plastic if nobody wants it.
Complete strangers arguing online about something that neither of them really understand.
That time isn't constant.
That life started from a 'primordial soup' of chemicals.
Can't get my head around these.
Smokers outside the hospital doors.
Tattoos. Yes they can look really beautiful when first done (and I can really appreciate some of the tattoo artists out there) but fast forward 20 years and they look crap and won't look particularly stylish anymore.
Use of the word 'super' to accentuate something instead of just saying 'very' "OMG it was SUPER good"
Use of the word 'absolutely' instead of 'yes'
Timpsons - not being equipped to re polish my leather shoes after a diesel incident, they are a shoe repair shop ffs!
Littering - Any littering but lobbing out of a car window really boils my pi$$
Dog owners with dogs off lead - The ones that shout across the park "Fido won't hurt you and he is fine with other dogs" As Fido proceeds to snuffle underneath my dog (on lead) and getting more and more tense before eating Fido. Then you hear "ooooh that's never happened before"
Binners
People who get defensive about their shitty non-stick pans.