[Closed] Things people do I simply don't understand

People that like cities and the culture and entertainment they provide. Although I can see the appeal I can’t empathise with it.

So what puzzles you about how others live their lives?

Why trekking in Mongolia would be fun 😉

But I tend to agree.  I've reached a point where I don't need to earn much more and am happy to work less and do more of the stuff I want to do.

I could work full time and earn as much as possible but I've no need for the money, so I think why not just enjoy life rather than just paying for a lavish lifestyle.

I really am content in my life.

How people deal with doing the same thing every day.

I am not interested in money but find it hard not to work. In have to justify enjoyment to myself and feel guilty if not working*.

*Working for me is PAYE job and working as in say renovating the house, or if the car has a problem fixing it etc.  These are all things in my skill set so "should" do s i can maximize my usfullness. Fun comes after these things.

This sounds like the famous thread from x years ago where you said you didn’t own any branded clothing 😉

I don't understand why people type out answers to such abstract questions on web forums, doesn't ever seem to resolve anything. There're new standards to upgrade bikes to, who's got the time for self-analysis and social hierarchy questioning?

Comparing your life to the lives of others - especially the rose-tinted version they boot out onto social media - is a hiding to nothing.  Live your life and enjoy it, and to hell with what anyone else may on may not be up to.

I guess to some folk the fact I eat off a missmatched set of plates that I have collected for nowt over the years would seem wrong.  But to me they work as plates so why replace them?

Going to a football match, or a tennis match or any large sporting event where many thousands of people gather in a small space.

It's not simply that team sports have never really appealed, it is being in close proximity to so many people in a confined area.

Similar to pie monster this extends to crowds anywhere, so living or working somewhere like London or Manchester would be too awful to contemplate

Just bought a shirt from Desigual. I’m SO FULFILLED!  😱

Having children. Fedup with too much free time, disposal income and peace and quiet? Ruin all that for the rest of your life. Nuts.

I'm finally at an age (bit younger than TJ but not much) where even my high powered mates from school, are looking to exit their jet set oil industry lifestyle and kick back. Have no doubt they have grant it, just surprised they haven't done it long ago, I guess it's the cut and thrust of getting stuff done and maybe a fear of what 'retirement' will bring?

I like the consumer stuff as much as many others, but clearly not as many as many others!

How people deal with doing the same thing every day.

Thats an interesting one.  In some ways what I do is the same every day.  Get folk washed and dressed, dish out the pills, talk to families etc.  But in other ways ever person is different and every day there are new challenges within what is basically very repetitive.

Yep I live in the borders can be in the fields with the dogs in 5 mins. My BiL is a banker (generic term for works with money) in Canary warf. Divorced, travels 90mins each way, has massive health issues. He could buy outright a great house outside Edinburgh, commute half the time, earn half the money (£50k) and have a better standard of living.

But he'd rather die in the rat race than take home, to his microwave meal evening, a little less money.

Spending all day in Ikea.

People who whine about folk that are less well off having nice stuff, or claiming benefits, or people whining about taxes.

Just focus on your own struggle, if you don't like it, change it, but if you must moan about other folks getting an easy ride, look UP the ladder,  not down.

onehunbdrethidiot - thats the attitude I just don't understand.  who knows who is right or even are we all right - but I find your brothers lifestyle incomprehensible.

Canned "adventure holidays" - unless they're taking the kids.

Spectator sports.

Sports with balls.

But he’d rather die in the rat race than take home, to his microwave meal evening, a little less money.

Some people just seem to be programmed to earn & hoard as much cash as possible - it's just a way of life.

Talking when there's a live band on stage, I simply don't understand that. Don't be that guy at a Shellac gig who's explaining to his mate, mid-set, that you like the heavy bits but why do they keep messing around.

What Cougar said - comparing anything with what other people are doing, or having any envy for what they're doing.

I also don't understand the importance people put on having a new, flash car. Whoever came up with the leasing idea, is a flippin genius!

But then again, I have no understanding of how I live my own life, so it's a difficult thread to reply to! 😆

People who think salt and vinegar crisps are the best flavour.

I don't undersand why you'd want to even try to understand people that you are never going to meet and couldn't care less about.

Actually, something on the telly just reminded me of something that has baffled me for quite a few years - the fascination with celebrities and celebrity culture. Anyone who so much as even sniffed  the fart of a bit part actor in Coronation Street becomes a "Celeb" these days and their every move is fawned over by people. Magazines, website and endless TV programmes are just baffling.

Oh and Naked Attraction. Nothing about that computes.

Have you ever considered that some people enjoy working?

If you have an interesting and satisfying job then it doesn't have to be bad.

Oh and how TJ thought this post was going to end well!!

So people like and strive for different things. Nothing to think about, no big deal.

just move along as you were and enjoy your mismatch plates 🙂

I don’t undersand why you’d want to even try to understand people that you are never going to meet and couldn’t care less about.

How else can you peer down from your morally superior high horse in your morally superior hair shirt and pour scorn upon their lifestyle?

Worryingly I have the same outlook as you TJ!

I may live in a city but that's purely from a cost/free time perspective as to move anywhere cheaper to rent would mean losing 1-2hrs a day commuting by car for no monetary gain whereas I now have a 20 min cycle commute.  I don't covet expensive cars, have a 12 year old stereo, a 7 year old TV and laptop but I do have 1 new, expensive bike.  I only work 4 days a week but have enough cash to save some whilst also going biking 2 days a week with a free day to see family and relax.  The plan is to move back out to the countryside in a few years and have an even better quality of life (riding from the doorstep is a priority) so when I look at all the people working flat-out to have a posh car to commute in every day and the expensive generic house I do think the world is going mad.

I don't let it bother me though as if my plan comes to fruition I'll be happy in my little world.  If different things make other people happy then that means my piece of happiness will be mine alone, perfect.

I knew it was unlikely Mike.  😉

gobuchal - my job is mostly enjoyable and makes me feel very good.  I still don't want to do more than 37 hours a week at it.  If I was loaded I'd probably still do 20 hours a week as I do enjoy it but to me nothing is worth 50+ hour weeks.  Offer me ten times my salary for a 50+ hour week I wouldn't do it.

I've given up trying to understand why others do what they do. I do what I do for my own reasons and, sure, others may look and ask 'why' but if it's not illegal and not harmful to others it's down to personal preference.

I have more clothes and shoes than I will ever need; you and others would probably say.....why? It's a personal indulgence.

I buy wine - some to drink soon but more to lay down for some unspecified future celebration and I pay for proper storage. As above, it's a personal indulgence.

Chacun â son gout.

s I do enjoy it but to me nothing is worth 50+ hour weeks.  Offer me ten times my salary for a 50+ hour week I wouldn’t do it.

And there are a million positions between the 2.

CFH - have you seen the cost of a hair shirt these days?  I have had to knit my own from recycled yoghurt!

Seriously this is not about a moral judgement at all - its about my inability to understand why someone would work long weeks with a long commute to buy loads of stuff.

Regarding the work things that you don't understand.

Some people enjoy the high powered travelling / exec kind of thing. They get a kick out of it as well as getting paid. They would go bonkers doing the same thing day in day out in the same place.

Other folk just work lots because it's what you do. Engrained so to speak. Stopping working causes them stress. The fixed wheel roady of the work world.

I think this place seems to accentuate views like TJ's in the sense that there's an endless stream of people asking for advice on how to spend money or even which company car to get from a list of Audi, Jag or Beemer...who really gives a shit about that stuff. I'm sure they are all lovely get one drive it and try worrying a little less or at least worry about something that matters.

I am with Dezb. I just don't get people who are famous for being famous and the tv/magazines that go with it. I couldn't give a hoot.

As for work/money. .I work long and hard but that is our choice, this way my wife can stay at home with the kids (her choice). I will continue to work long and hard so I can provide what we feel we need to for our kids/pension/mortgage. However ask me in 10 years when kids have fled the nest/mortgage paid and (hopefully) wife working again and my views will be totally different.

its about my inability to understand why someone would work long weeks with a long commute to buy loads of stuff.

I work as a contractor. When I work, I work bloody hard and long hours.

my last contract was three years in duration and paid very well.

due to this, I took the last year and a half off to move to Switzerland just to ride my bikes every day.

i’ll take another job soon and do the same. Not right or wrong , just different.

on and on - now that I do understand.  Work like heck for a couple of years to take a year off or work like heck for 20 years and retire at 40.  Its the work like heck 50+ hours a week for 40+, years I don't get.

1) Some people like their jobs.  Some people have ambition and want to do well.  I work long hours when my client needs me to fix a problem.  Your job is routine, other people's jobs are goal based so everyone works towards a goal as a team.  And I don't want to let the team down, but more than that I want the team to succeed because I have pride in the project, my colleagues and my company and I want it to do well.

2) Coveting high status things simply because other people have them is clearly daft.  But some expensive things are really good, they work really well.  A fancy car for example is quieter and more comfortable.  If you want to drive a long way, this makes it easier.  But more importantly, if you have (and enjoy) a job that provides for one, why not take it?  I like nice bikes, if I had the cash I'd buy them because they work better, they feel better.  Better cameras allow you to take better pictures (if you know how to use them), better TVs look better and so on.  Sometimes, it's about function.

Now I don't doubt there is a lot of hollow consumerism, and that it's dreadful for the environment - I'm just giving some reasons why people might do the things they do.

I have a colleague who is still working at 80!  FFS why?

I also don’t understand the importance people put on having a new, flash car.

I own a 51 Skoda Octavia. I currently have a six month old Vauxhall Insignia hire car. It’s beautifully quiet, very comfy, very quick, 170bhp against 110, with roughly the same size diesel engine. It has a really good infotainment system with BT and Wi-fi, and that’s exactly why people want a new car. It’s a very nice place to be.

Is it a short circuit in my head?

No - you lack ambition.  This is good in some ways - it make you content, which is invaluable - but it's not good for everyone.  If no-one had any desire for anything to be better we'd not have got far as a species.

Two things that crop up a fair bit and are probably linked are working long hours and coveting consumer goods.  I just don’t get either.  I am jealous of folk who have amazing experiences but not those who have amazing houses or collections of things.

I love working long hours. I love my job, it is in my view creative and to a degree defines me. It has also enabled me to have a life of amazing experiences that would appear on many peoples bucket lists.
I haven't had a TV for 30 years (but have had loads of computers) and couldn't survive without music, but despite having two (2?!!!) iPod touches I could happily go back t the old HD iPods.

Life is not gadgets but life can be enhanced by how you earn your living. If working long hours at your life makes you sad maybe change what you do. My job is not highly paid by many standards but makes me happy.

molgrips - while the is routine in my job it is in no way a "routine" job.  It taxes and stretches me and everyday I come up against difficult situations to resolve.  I guess thats a part of it.  37 hours a week at my job leaves me mentally and physically drained and I know that doing it for 48 hours I would be less good at it

I have a colleague who is still working at 80!  FFS why?

Do you think you have a problem empathising with other people?

Possibly because they like it, possibly because they have no way to live without it?

Perhaps they have nothing else to do?

I know where TJ's coming from. I've now been working pretty much since 1972, had a few months off when my Mum was ill & recently last year when Mrs Egf was ill with a bad bout of bowel cancer. But I'm now in a job that I enjoy, even though the money's crap.

Like TJ, I'm more envious of a couple we know who just swan around on holiday (nowt flash, Benidorm for 6 weeks, Goa for 3 months, California for 3 weeks, a do it yourself trip to Vietnam for a month, that sort of thing)

Couldn't give a shite about the multi millionaires I see crawling round Harrogate in their Chelsea tractors, in fact I feel a bit sorry for them.

Money pushes a lot of people but It's easy to be the richest man in the graveyard.

People who put cheese slices in fish finger butties.

 I guess thats a part of it.  37 hours a week at my job leaves me mentally and physically drained and I know that doing it for 48 hours I would be less good at it

I think this is where you get stuck, your measuring things in hours you have to be there.

comparing anything with what other people are doing, or having any envy for what they’re doing.

I struggle with this. I live a pretty boring life by some standards, and had to stop using social media because I was fed up of getting jealous of all the fun shit everyone else does. This forum, Strava, and Youtube (only the mtb/bmx/trials channels & electronic music channels) is about all the social media I can bear, and kinda immerse myself in it. I get a little jealous of the locations other people ride while I'm mostly stuck in Thanet, but I adjust my riding accordingly so I can still enjoy it and challenge myself.

Think the world is divided into people who know how to get what they want and those who don't. I'm closer to the latter group, but my situation is the best it's ever been currently, which is better than a lot of other people's - but not enough to afford an n+1 whenever I want.

Shoes with no socks.

People who put cheese slices in fish finger butties.

now I think we can all agree that is just wrong!

Molgrips - I do have ambitions - its just they are not financial or "things" orientated but experience orientated.  I used to have ambitions at work but discovered that actually I am a good shop floor worker and a bad boss so I gave up being a boss. Biggest job I had I had 130 staff reporting to me and I reported to the board with a budget of millions.

My biggest ambition right now is to solo a 20 000 ft peak.  Plans are well advanced

But you are right in a way - without folk who strive for things then progress would be slower.  this is why I make no judgement.  I am just puzzled

But you are right in a way – without folk who strive for things then progress would be slower.  this is why I make no judgement.  I am just puzzled

Is making no judgement why you told me I was being used by my management?

Mike - no - thats not it.  My job is taxing - very taxing both physically and mentally.  I want to do it well.  I can do it well for 37 hours a week.  I could not do it well for 48 hours a week.  Its too demanding.  Even when I have not had a holiday for a couple of months I become less effective - compassion fatigue.  remember I work in palliative care - I have people dying most days.  Its tough but also very rewarding.

Edit - different thread and different point - crossed posts.

Well honestly it comes across as fairly judgemental.

and that’s exactly why people want a new car

You, sir, are delusional if you think that's the only reason. And aside from that, in a car, to me, is one of the worst places to be, no matter how new the car is!

Well honestly it comes across as fairly judgemental.

Not intended to be - or more so on your management than you.  apologies if I caused offense

As I said - its my lack of comprehension of why someone would work long hours etc.

I have a colleague who is still working at 80!  FFS why?

Maybe he enjoys it.

Have kids , then spend a massive proportion of their waking hours avoiding them . Either through being manipulated or forced to work long hours to pay for them ,or choosing to work long hours  to avoid them .

I'm sure they are amazing , brilliant things but cost so much in both time and ££££ and emotional investment if  everyone sat down and talked through what  life will be like maybe there would be a few less kids in the middle of unhappy relationships

PCP /PCH . £300 - £400  every mnth to borrow a metal box so you can sit in 'nice place to be'  I could have a foriegn holiday  , every month , that would be  a nicer place to be . I could put that in a PPPlan and retire 10 years earlier , leaving me free  time to go to  nicer places ( to be ) . I could spend that amount on  mtg of   a holiday home / retirement  villa abroad, again , probably a nicer  place to be than sat in a metal box ona congetsed road, surrounded  by angry ****s in the race to ge home to check their Facebook accounts

But you are right in a way – without folk who strive for things then progress would be slower.  this is why I make no judgement.  I am just puzzled

Oh nonsense, you know exactly why other people want the material things you don't.  They like them, they may want to show off, buying stuff gives them a thrill etc.  You may not aspire to it but it's disingenuous to pretend you're unaware of their motivations in an attempt to appear worthy.

Also, people who buy brand new cars are the reason I can afford the s##t boxes I buy, so good luck to them.

Why would anyone crumple toilet paper, instead of folding?

People that constantly post pictures of themselves on internet cycling forums

I’m sure they are amazing

They are amazing. (well my 2 are anyway)

However.....I've told my youngest if he & his mrs have kids I'll disown him. My eldest won't have kids at any cost, good lad.

I absolutely hate kids & can't stand the sight nor sound (especially the sound) of them.

Gunz - I really do not understand it.  I simply do not have that desire.  Its not an attempt to appear worthy at all although it was obvious some would see it that way. ( see my comment in the first post) Its intended to provoke a discussion about something that puzzles me.  I may have an inkling intellectually but I just do not understand it at all.

Observation looking at the responses. It seems most of those in the TJ camp don’t have kids. Not all I guess but it reads that way. Wonder why ? Does having kids get us stuck in a rat race ? Interesting...

Morris dancing.

Most things I can see why someone might want to do it, even if I don’t. Not Morris dancing though. Totally baffles me why you’d get dressed up like that and dance around bashing sticks etc. Blows my mind when I see them.

My point TJ is that whilst you may have no desire to follow suit (for what it's worth, neither do I), it's quite obvious what ambition, shallowness, hubris, pride etc motivates others.

People who post "I don't understand................" threads on forums. I can understand TJ's post if I read it like a trustafarian who's just spent a gap yahh in SE Asia and has discovered he doesn't need material possessions (a discovery made to justify selling them all to fund drugs and a digiridoo)

People who buy small new cars, especially nice ones. <span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">Either you can afford a nearly new much nicer/bigger car.  Or you can't and you should buy a Daewoo Matiz. What is the point of an Audi A1 when you can get the same finance on a nearly new A4?</span>

Why would anyone crumple toilet paper, instead of folding?

People do that? Bet the weirdos also sit down to pee.

I don't understand why people buy sports cars when you can't drive them quickly anywhere because you just accelerate towards a queue of traffic or speed camera, I really can't fathom the likes of a BMW M3 or other fast saloon..

Electric gears on a bike, the whole point of a bike to me is that it's ready to go whenever you are without preparation and having to charge it up to ride it is a loss of the joy of spontaneity

Salt n' Vinegar flavour crisps are the best flavour.

People are weird.

TJ doubly so.

I'm in the extremely fortunate position that I don't have to work.  I love my life, We've just been camping in South Wales with my two boys, their wives and my grandson (daughter is off to Italy today so couldn't make it) also sister in law with her son and grandkids.  Absolutely wonderful.  But holidays aren't life and retirement would feel like a punishment to me.  I took two jobs last week which will probably stop me from going cycling or windsurfing for a few days that the weather will be ideal for but that just makes the times I can go midweek even sweeter.

Observation looking at the responses. It seems most of those in the TJ camp don’t have kids. Not all I guess but it reads that way. Wonder why ? Does having kids get us stuck in a rat race ? Interesting…

Not sure about a rat race but wer'e certainly expected to reproduce. Why?

I'm in the TJ camp but have 2 kids (blokes now).

People are weird.

TJ doubly so.

I totally disagree.

I eat off a missmatched set of plates

Now my piss is boiling.

Watching Eastenders.  Why would you regularly invite a load of angry people who hate each other into your front room, it just seems stressful.

Mr Panther - can you assemble a well known phrase from these words?  Calling, Pot, black, kettle?  😉

So what puzzles you about how others live their lives?

Absolutely **** all, as long as i wake up every morning and i can still wiggle my toes, stand up (however wobbly that may be) and wipe my own arse then it's going to be a good day in my world.  I couldn't give a shit what goes on in other folks lives.

People that  use the phrase 'wild camping'.