You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
Police have a suspect in custardy.
I imagine they'll end up doing bird.
please delete the internet.
The worst jokes are dessert related - or 'a meringue'?
Oh god 😆
I think this thread has scone* off course.
*50% of people will not get this joke.
This calls for the Wu-Tang Flan.
[img] 
[/img]
The worst jokes are dessert related - or 'a meringue'?
No, you're reet.
I think I saw Wu-Tang-Flan. They were supported by LL Brûlée.
And if its not bad enough; someone keeps adding topsoil to my allotment.
The plot thickens...
That's nowt. Pizza Hut just down the road they found one of the waiters dead - The body was covered in tomato sauce, mozzarella, ham, pineapple etc.
Police reckon he topped himself...
Cheers
Danny B
In celeb news:
Peter Cushion and Whoopi Goldberg are to marry, She'll be Whoopi Cushion.
And a bloke round the corner from us drowned in a bowl of muesli - he was pulled under by a strong currant...
Peter Cushion and Whoopi Goldberg are to marry, She'll be Whoopi Cushion.
Peter Cushing, you **** 🙂
This calls for the Wu-Tang Flan.
Beautiful.
These threads are why I cherries stw so much.
Hopefully, it 's not about to crumble though.
Just read about a Red Indian who was trying for the tea drinking record.
He had to call off the attempt early and this morning tragically, was found dead in his tee pee.
Just heard that Skid Row and Richard Marx are writing an album together, as are Dire Straits and Chris Rea. Probably be sh1t though.
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer. Two, one to change the bulb and the other to hold his [s]cock[/s], errrrrrr I mean [u]ladder[/u]
With apologies to whoever posted than on here a couple of years back.
Still gets a laugh in the right company.
A shopper went wild in Tesco, sprayed Domestos all over the fruit 'n' veg aisles
Got done for bleach of the peach
hahahahaha Karinofnine is the winner
Robbers broke in to our local police station and stole the toilets.
Police investigating, but have nothing to go on.
A snail walked into a police station to report he'd been mugged by a tortoise. When asked if he'd got a description, he replied, no it all happened so quick
Rang Dial-a-Pizza and asked for a thin and crusty supreme.
They sent out Dian Ross..
My friend was seeing a contortionist, but she broke it off last week. He was bound over to keep the peace. He was going to sue, but they said it wouldnt stand up in court.
Sorry
Police have thwarted a terrorist attack at Chester Zoo
A Police spokesman said
" We have shot 2 gorillas and freed 2 ostriches "
Two dogs in a field, one says "bark woof meow" other one says "meow?" First one says "Yeah I'm learning a foreign language"
Badum tish, I thank you
What the eccles going on here?
Bill and Ben were in the bath.
Bill farted and Ben replied Half Past Nine
Cheers
Danny B
^^ wu tang flan is the winner ^^
police arrested two men, one for drinking battery acid another for eating fireworks.
they charged one and let the other off.
I'm sorry but I think this thread is a trifle silly.
I find the OP a trifle unbelievable - let's not egg him on.......we should really be pudding all this behind us now.
A horse walks past two cows in the pub and one cow says to the other..
'Bleedin illegal ingredients, coming over here stealin our jobs'...
Just heard on the news a tanker carrying red paint crashed into another carrying blue paint - apparently 500 sailors have been marooned.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
IGMC
Two goldfish in a tank, one of them says 'how do you drive this bloody thing ?'
If anyone on this thread has been on the John Bishop thread slagging him off, you should be ashamed of yourselves! 😆
I saw a man stealing my gate yesterday but I didn't say anything incase he took a fence
Very puerile but...
What do you call a man with a really small willy?
Justin...
A horse goes into a pub
The barman says "Why the long face?"
Come on, think about it, it's not very far from being food is it? 🙂
If Ambrosia get burgled again the CEO has stated that there will be no more Mr Rice Guy
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin Swimming Baths have announced they will be closing Lanes 7 & 8.
Two fish sat on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?"
Jeeez guys, any [i]new[/i] jokes?!
Mustafa Khan has been shot with a starting pistol.
Police think it may be race-related
An Italian and a Frenchman were hunting together in the woods. Suddenly a beautiful, naked woman ran in front of them. The Italian says to the Frenchman, "I would love to eat that!". So the frenchman shot her.
A woodworm walks into a bar and taps on the counter, asking "is the bar tender here" ?
A west country farmer has been awarded the Nobel prize, because he was out standing in his field.
Blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog which he picks up by the tail and swings around his head.
Shop assistant. Can i help you sir?
Blind man.No thanks,i'm just looking!
One of the airfields near me is offering blind people the chance to skydive solo.
To be honest it's fairly straightforward, just remember to flare when the lead goes slack.