Therapy -- let's talk about it?

I've done a decent amount over the past few years and am still having sessions every few weeks.

My advice is to make sure the therapist is right for you, each will have a different style and method even within the same type of therapy they practice. If you don't feel like you're getting along with them then try a new therapist. I admit it can be hard to know what a good therapeutic relationship is when it's your first time though. Any good therapist will be happy to discuss whether they are the right therapist for you or not and help you find a new one if they aren't.

I dread to think how much bike stuff I could buy with the money I've spent on therapy but it's all been worth it.

For me therapy has been life changing. Well done for seeking out help, for me starting therapy was difficult and frightening.

What has helped me with my therapy is remembering that whilst I'm unique the things i'm going through are not. Someone else has been through it and come through the otherside stronger and happier.

Therapy was also life changing for me. It helped me to let go of a lot of my childhood trauma.

Therapy is not a passive exercise. Rather than looking at it as a “cure” it’s more about learning new skills. As with any learning process you get out what you put in, and at times it can feel frustrating when you don’t feel that you’re making progress. You also need to keep practicing the skills in order to get good at them.

Because of that it’s not for everyone. Unfortunately for a minority of people it can make things worse as they never seem to get past that frustration phase.

Your therapy shouldn’t feel too comfortable. You should feel heard by your therapist, but they should also challenge you. Some of my biggest breakthroughs came when I left sessions wondering what on earth my therapist was going on about.

Well done on getting to the stage of exploring therapy. By doing so you’re already ahead of a significant proportion of people.

Sometimes it makes things worse before it gets better. Haven't got to the better bit yet.

I'm thinking I could do with some - where do you start?

Had many different therapists over the years, mainly through my twenties and for anxiety but very briefly fairly recently too following a road accident.

Unfortunately, I don't think any of it ever 'worked' for me.

I always felt like whatever path they'd start leading me down, it was like I knew where they were going with it straight away, I'd already been down that path in my tumultuous head and going down it again felt like a waste of time and unhelpful for me.

I think I'm maybe a hard nut to crack because I don't think I found a therapist that had any kind of revelation for me or approach that was different enough to distract me from my own feelings.
I'm too self conscious for it I think and never felt relaxed. Too many distractions coming from my own head.

Talking isn't for everyone. I hope it works for you. Just try to go in with an open mind.

Luckily these days, there is endless help and support and tips available online for anxiety management that just didn't exist when I had most of my therapists in the nineties.

That includes here. Many experienced people here so just speak up.

Good luck with it. 😊👍

Good advice above. I’d add:

Don’t try and slot it into your day like a meeting. Give yourself a bit of time and space afterwards to digest what you’ve been over, go outside and get your head back into the present. Even if it’s just having a cup of tea in your front step! It’s also useful to make notes of things that occur to you or feel significant- you think you’ll remember later but often you don’t.

Go with the therapy and where it takes you. If there’s something that you think you’ve dealt with or that you don’t think is anxiety related but it comes to mind during therapy and feels important or emotional, then talk about it. Trying to compartmentalise emotions and experiences might stop you getting the most out of the therapy.

Edit: Kayak’s posted appeared while I was writing. I had that experience of feeling like I knew what was coming until I found the right therapist. When I found one that was asking questions I hadn’t already thought of I knew it was the right person. It felt like an insightful discussion with a peer instead of a meeting to be endured.

Being open to it, you are going because you need to fix something, so try not to work against it. I say that having gone through some couples therapy and there was no point going into it with the wrong attitude.

There are different types of therapist. Such as CBT and person centred. Ex is a person centred therapist and it seems to work for lots of people, it's very much led by you and what you want to talk about, if you wanted to sit in silence for a session that'd be fine.

I’ve been to a few therapists over the last few years and it’s been largely beneficial. Although  with one I really should have binned them off early as we just didn’t click (or rather she didn’t click with me) so that maybe a learning point. My issues are ptsd related but this has led to issues with other knocks life deals out and I have had a few sessions of EMDR which is quite challenging .

Although I am the type that never really speaks about emotions (which is one of  the problems!!!) I have sort of enjoyed the chance to vent and it’s been a positive .

I cannot recommend this guy enough...he is genuinely one of the good guys. Helped me hugely with PTSD. I owe him a debt monetary reward seems inadequate recompense for.

https://www.joekao.com

As above.  Loads of good advice.  Im a fan of person centred or exploratory style.  Others prefer something more directive.

The key thing is the therapeutic relationship.   If the counsellor ir the style is not right for you do not be afraid to try another

Goid luck.  Its helped me hugely

One thing I’d add is that “therapist” is not a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a therapist, whether they’re qualified or not, and unfortunately there are more than a few charlatans out there.

In the UK, the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists run a voluntary register of qualified therapists.

My experience so far has been mixed. After a few sessions I felt comfortable enough to unload about all my current, recent and childhood stresses and trauma. This was a new experience for me and it was difficult and very emotional at times, but did feel beneficial and cathartic to do.

However overall I found the process very one way, in that I think I was hoping for more response from baring my soul! I would ask questions like what do you think about that, or why do think that happened, and the therapist would just turn the questions back at me and say something along the lines of "this is about you not me, what do you (meaning me) think about that". I found that a bit frustrating as I suppose I was looking for some validation or feedback.

I understand therepy is not a magic wand or quick fix and can take a long time for some to get meaningful positive results, but I was hoping to come away with some strategies to help with my social anxiety and depression. I might try again in the future with a different therapist.

Lots of good advice which I would second

I did two periods of therapy, a few years apart with different people. The first was utterly life changing, I'm not exaggerating.

The second was much similar but less dramatic. It gave me skills to deal with feelings that previously I would have suppressed

If you fully engage it will be hard work. Often I would leave a session exhausted and just sit in Macdonald's with a brew and a thousand yard stare til I felt I could drive again

Lastly it's worth remembering that you may not end up in a place you expected to be, or an outcome you anticipated

Good luck

I’m hoping for help from CBT for anxiety / PTSD sparked off by a data breach so very justifiable. 5 months on meds but off now.
I initially tried a private CBT guy but he just seemed to be dragging it out and telling me his problems. Wasted a lot of cash on that at £135 for each 50 min.
Now I’m lucky to be having NHS CBT remotely by phone. My hopes are high.
I saw an employment councillor in person recently too, another part of my NHS wellness package, that was very productive even in the first meeting. Sparked some ideas.
More to come. I’m self employed and have been too anxious to work for a while

My advice is as the helpful posts above.
Try to like your practitioner or r find another.
Find some common ground.

Hanna is right to try find time for yourself after. Walking is good IMO.
There’s a walking meditation Dr Chris Masterjohn described that seems a great idea. Be there in your body. Feel your feet. Swing your arms.
https://chrismasterjohnphd.substack.com/p/overcome-ocd-with-walking-sensory