[Closed] The Zombies are coming* - what's you weapon of choice?

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For close encounters.

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I'm quite looking forward to it, tbh.

Do Zombies ride bikes?

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11 speed xt cassette. Have you felt the weight of those things?

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yup defo a bike... to pedal away as fast as poss, to the middle of nowhere and where I could see them coming. Doesn't need fuel and doesn't take up much room.

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Definitely a sword, an axe would be too likely to get caught up on things.

Besides, I can still remember how to use a sword - years of [s]living in Glasgow[/s] martial arts training is still in there somewhere.

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Chain saw

http://nerdist.com/mythbusters-tests-axe-vs-gun-vs-chainsaw-in-zombie-apocalypse/

Or for more stealthy operations, a pair of tomahawks (actual small axes, not the cruise missiles).

Ben earlier

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The problem with guns, chainsaws etc is they'll stop working at the worst possible time.

The minigun from Predator - the one they use to cut the jungle down

some sausage rolls from the canteen!

I'm just hoping they'll be Walking Dead type zombies not World War Z ones, if so +1 for a Samurai sword. I reckon an axe/big hammer would be too tiring to swing after the 30th bludgeoning.

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Ben earlier

He's not going to kill many zombies holding a sword like that. And what's with the one glove - is he going to do a Michael Jackson tribute act?

Ideally an aircraft carrier but if it has to be a close combat weapon then a fairly short sword. Anything too heavy is going to be tiring to use for an extended period.

A lot depends on which version of zombies we're dealing with if they're fast zombies (world war z, 28 days later) then most hand weapons are useless and I'd probably put all my efforts into finding a defendable position. With the shuffling zombies there's more of a chance of taking them on in small numbers.

The BFG. (not the Roald Dahl one)

Lightsaber.

Like a sword, but more betterer.

One of those great big woodchippers the forestry use.

Just need to lure them in. A disposable small child dangling as bait should do the trick.

A 14lb spalding hammer for close encounters.

This Stanley tool looks like it could be pretty handy.

That's would be good in one on one combat and handy to pillage shops , houses are cars for extra supplies.

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A well stocked castle and lots of patience.

Baseball bat. Much easier to swing than a sword and won't get caught in flesh and bone at an inopportune time. Also, you don't have to sharpen a bat.

I carry my Zombie kit in the van at all times, the first 3 from left would do the job for me

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But i have an irrational desire to add one of [url= http://www.tooled-up.com/product/greenworks-gd40cs40k2x-40v-cordless-brushless-electric-chainsaw-400mm-blade-with-2-li-ion-batteries-2ah/218313/ ]Groundworks GD40 cordless chainsaws[/url] to my Zombie/trail maintenance tool collection.

A local tree surgeon has one and it seems a nice bit of kit

Lots of fat mates - kick them in the knee and run leaving them to get eaten.

Might need lots of fat and stupid mates so they don't twig on at the dwindling numbers.

The minigun from Predator

It's tradition, or an old charter, or something.

I'm going for full riding leathers with helmet. This is so they can't bite me. I imagine wasted jaw muscle results in a weaker bite. I would then use a combination of crowbar, hockey stick and those shite metal rounders bats from when I was at school. I reckon blunt hitting sticks would be the most fun 😀

Come on now surely has to be

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Three hanging on the left wall ready and labelled

[url= https://c5.staticflickr.com/2/1534/24544214164_bdb0e62841_b.jp g" target="_blank">https://c5.staticflickr.com/2/1534/24544214164_bdb0e62841_b.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/DoTvLh ]20160220_124058[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/89686376@N04/ ]WCA![/url], on Flickr

Three hanging on the left wall ready and labelled

for close combat a horsemans pick as you have the combination of warhammer and bloody big spike (bit like the lobo in the world war Z book, not the shite awful film!)

for distance, a nice modern crossbow for the silent kill. Noise is bad mmmkay (too much time playing the zombicide board game)

Cougar - Moderator

It's tradition, or an old charter, or something.

No it's not, it's a General Electric.

Mine's a pint of large.

So lots of zombies in this apocalypse......slow or fast moving?

Guns....problem is a) cannot use one and probably miss the headshot b) you will run of ammo and need to reload so overwhelmed by numberes of zombies c) location of long term supply of ammunition could be a problem e) them guns and ammunition are heavy so fitness could be an issue.

Sword, axe, assorted implements .....problem is A) you need to close in so you need to be fairly confident brave and not a scared of zombies cat b) strength and fitness decapitation of zombies needs some fitness.... cross fit WoD zombie prep....c) space ...in a confined space wielding can be difficult D) zombies overwhelm you with numbers and or speed

Fat or slow people as a diversion ....very zombies and ...however they become new zombies close to you.

High explosives....mass destruction but not necessarily ensures zombies are inactive otpr unable to infect.....so may still bite.

So some seriously impenetrable armour coupled with a nice axe and short sword with enough time to learn to use a gun please.

Samurai sword...always works well for Michonne, never know why the others don't use the same. Crossbow seems a good secondary weapon but then it depends if you seem to have infinite arrows like Daryl 🙄

I'd remove that picture quick. The new legislation, banning the sale, manufacture, rental or importation of zombie knives will take effect on Thursday. Anyone caught breaking the law will face up to four years in prison.

That's a specific kind of scary knife, not general household tools that say Zombie on them 🙂

I've often wondered if it's worth just being a Zombie rather than worrying, you can at least get you're own back, betting that there's a good chance you'll take someone down who doesn't pay for Trail Centre parking 🙂

That's a specific kind of scary knife, not general household tools that say Zombie on them

I'd hijack a bulk carrier and anchor up offshore. Brucie bonus if I manage to snag a tanker, ever seen a lance from a 3 storey boiler? We be havin' barbecue! One on each bridge wing with fortifications around the superstructure and any marauding types can go whistle. Plenty of room on deck to set up growing equipment, onboard water generator, easy relocation, whats not to like?

Apart from the fact I cant drive them, only move them.

But aye, slow zombies it would be something light and sharp, fast ones I'd be raiding the work for a G36 - para stock, clear mag put it on semi auto and stay ready.

And what is that Stanley tool? Is that specifically marketed to Survivalists? It's like knife wrench taken to a new level...

Come the Apocalypse I think I'd pop down to Southampton and steal a nice yacht and live on that in the Sloent. I've always like Newton Creek, myself.

The buggers can't walk on water, can they?

For close quarters combat one of those samurai swords looks to be quite suitable.

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I think Asda do them 🙂

Actually, yeah, crossbow as well, just remember it takes a while to reload and strength, not one for facing a hoard with IMO.

And baseball bat? How confident are you that you can destroy a head in one shot whilst all the while more are closing in? Make it too light and it will take more shots, too heavy and you tire out. Blunt weapons are shite.

£151 for that Fubar? Well thats definitely going to have to be a drunk impulse purchase then...

Siberian bear hunting armour, a mace and Bat'leth
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[img] [/img]The problem I have with chainsaws etc. is that they are likely to be messy.

What if the vector of infection is contact with blood? Like Brendan Gleesan's character in 28 Days Later, one drop of blood to the eye and he was doomed (massive plot hole given the amount of Zombies chopped up).

Flamethrowers kill by asphyxiation, so (assuming they don't breathe), you'd end up with a horde of burning zombies to deal with. That sounds a lot worse than a horde of regular zombies.

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Can't get them in this country but I have a plan.

@Somafunk, back of your van pretty much same gear as the back of my car. 8)

An almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

Hum, this would be handy to have. Chain saw on a stick

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The same as I answered last time this question was posted, the AA12 auto shotgun

But having seen a reloading video - sloooow, probably have a backup assault rifle of some sort

This is still Singletrack, right?

How has no-one said:

Orange.
Z1.
Bombers.

(Owned....)

Or am I just showing my age now?

I'd get myself an axe of sorts - a nice twangy guitar and portable amp just so I could walk all over creation playing the theme to 28 Days Later to help folk get into the whole shitty situation.

Come on now surely has to be

For some reason these will only work if they're on a road bike lol

The Stanley tool is a Fubar 3.
The perfect way to smash up a home.

[url= https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stanley-Fubar-Demolition-Tool-File/dp/B002V4Y2XO ]Here[/url]

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We haven't had an appearance of the Zombie Apocalypse Bike for a couple of months......

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erm...Nothing?

I reckon you'd need to avoid them for what? A couple o weeks while they decompose to the point of being no threat...

Find somewhere off the beaten track, make sure you've enough tins of food, and water, and catch up on the reading you've been promising yourself, secure in the knowledge that you won't have a ton of work emails waiting for you after the lovely break you've had.

Zombies... Worst Baddies Eva.

Are they the fast hollywood zombies or the slow tv zombies? The fast ones I'm going assault rifle, the slow ones I'll go long pointy stick...

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Job Jobbed.....

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obviously

Hmm,, I was thinking about one of these:

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But then again I can probably get hold of one of these a bit more easily:

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Same overall effect but with the combine you can also use a bailer for a neat and tidy finish... 8)

I'm with muudy@rseguy, though an armoured farmers tractor & a hedging flail attachment or two would be my vehicle of choice with fuel trailer with quick release/attachment, easily located (tractor & flail than a old tank) Also a handy quarry, with the exit ramp removed & a big speaker repeating the zombie call setup in the middle to clear my local area of hoards. Aircraft propellers mounted horizontally, again with speakers, as mobile clearing kit. I may have thought about this a bit too much

I think i would try apologising, unless of course it is too late.

Reassuring to know that cometh the zombie apocalypse, a decent percentage [s]victims[/s] people will default to loud, noisey, zombie baiting behavior 😈

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Samurai sword...always works well for Michonne, never know why the others don't use the same.

We just watched the walking dead and thought the same, if I was one of the others i'd have taken one look at her and gone straight down the local samurai sword emporium, and if I was her I'd have made a fortune selling those zombies on a rope.

Fasthaggis is going to shoot 90's music at them?

I have a plan. I know where the vehicles are already stored, where the weapons of choice are located and where i would head for. Not letting on in case anyone else copies me.

I love these type of programes so its just natural to work out what you would do. I also have a tsunami plan. I drew the line at metorite/armegeddon type situation because i think i would just draw the curtains and go to bed.

Surely we'd all just use our bog standard, STW-issued MeccaMcMoonter wouldn't we? Or did yours not arrive with your subs?

I always keeps mine handy for trail clearance. blocked U-bends, getting stones out of horses hooves, that sort of thing.

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sweepy

We just watched the walking dead and thought the same, if I was one of the others i'd have taken one look at her and gone straight down the local samurai sword emporium

Nah, in "reality" they'd be crap. Useless indoors, liable to get blunted and stuck in bone before long and they get bent to the point where they need repaired after relatively little use.

An A4 sheet of paper. Paper cuts FTW

Ruger 10/22 with supressor and maybe a Khukri or machete.

I have a plan. I know where the vehicles are already stored, where the weapons of choice are located and where i would head for. Not letting on in case anyone else copies me.

So do I. Unfortunately, so do quite a few other folk so it would be a mad rush to get the mother loads and it's the wrong side of a city from where I am. Everything you need to build yourself a fortifed compound or destroy one.

I can only hope they are deployed in my direction and I can go shopping when they get to the hold-up point. Or that I get sent for them.

* A bolt action Ruger Scout, simple and reliable, will work for a long looong time, a plastic stock made to look like wood - doesn't look as threatening and doesn't warp like actual wood, a supressor, a low magnification tritium sight and a mix of subsonic and high velocity ammo.

* A big **** off knife.

* Kevlar lined motocyle clothing.

No point going and getting squaddy weapons, in a scenario where you don't have a lot of mates who can shoot...if you need to throw that much ammo down range then you've already lost - whether it's humans or zombies.

Definitely a sword, an axe would be too likely to get caught up on things.
Nah, in "reality" they'd be crap. Useless indoors, liable to get blunted and stuck in bone before long and they get bent to the point where they need repaired after relatively little use.

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And no, I've not been over-thinking zombie attacks, I used to play AD&D, massed attacks by armies of orcs amounts to much the same thing, the level of intelligence of the attacking horde being roughly on a par with plankton... 😀

Unlikely that either would bend, the laminated structure of Japanese swords makes them resistant to bending, while having a hardened cutting edge.

This is 100% essence of internet. Finally 🙂 . Modern spring steel western imitation samurai swords don't suffer from this but historically they did. The cutting edge has an extremely high rockwell hardness but the main body of the sword is much softer.

There are videos out there showing Japanese tameshigiri experts having to stop mid demo and straighten their swords, you can find them with some [url= http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/martial-arts-weapons/edged-weapons/katana-care-how-to-straighten-a-bent-samurai-sword/ ]googling[/url].

a Katana could cut through a gun barrel, ordinary clothing wouldn't be an issue,

Mythbusters. Busted.