[Closed] The very worst things - Foodstuffs that are actually a crime against humanity?

Was at a party when someone opened a jar of fermented shark once. It cleared the place. Horrific smell

Love a bit of Andouillette. Yummy 😋

I bought some of that heavily salted liquorice back from Sweden a few years ago. Wife wasn't happy when she tucked into it 🤣 I bloody loves it though.

Just looked it up, it's actually Ammonium Chloride not normal salt. Gives it a certain kick!

Andouilles often appear in Les Routiers lunches, read the menu with care! Once in a lifetime is a quite sufficient reference point. I seem to remember baked beetroot with kangaroo was a popular mix in Aus, it was well partnered with the red cordial or Vic bitter.

A friend tried a Feasters breakfast sausage muffin.

It's meant to be microwaved as it comes but he dismantled it and toasted the muffin and reheated the sausage patty in a griddle pan (2 mins per side). Reassembled c/w plastic cheese slice, included ketchup and hey hey hey. Not a bad do at all. I'll He'll have it again. Think it was a quid.

Not into cheese, beer or bread then?

Modern cheese is mostly ok (maggots, etc. not ok in my book), but when you realize that it must have been invented by accident, I'm guessing that you had to be pretty desperately starving to eat the early stuff.

Modern beer is good, but the first attempts must have been vile. Again, invented by accident, consumed by someone pretty desperate.

Bread, as I understand, was probably invented by accident. People used to bake flatbread, but a batch of dough probably got contaminated with yeast and left long enough to rise. It would have been an improvement over the unleavened bread, so that is the exception.

Edouard Herriot once said ""Politics is like andouillette, it must smell like shit a bit, but not too much"

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Dirty bastards. Filling a sausage with pig's colon. Saucisson au pipe de merde.

Derek - the factual name definitely sums up andouillette the best

Rice cakes. To make something so awful and then name it after actual delicious cake? Twisted evil Bastards.

Marmite rice cakes. Horrid.

I bought them for a snack because I thought if I buy rice cakes with chocolate, or even plain, I'd wolf the lot and get fat, but that I wouldn't be tempted to eat a whole packet of marmite rice cakes. Guess I was right.

Hubby likes a bit of cake and eats most fruit (dried or fresh) and vegetables. However he won't eat carrot cake, courgette cake or chocolate and beetroot cake, Christmas cake, mince pies etc.
A lot of people say why on earth would you put veg in a cake.

Any kind of cheese. On its own or in things. Just reminds me of smelly feet.

Derek - is that not just an honest sausage that still looks like what most sausages are made of?

Rice cakes with marmite on - lovely. Can't see why a pre-infused rice cake would be any different.

Hubby likes a bit of cake and eats most fruit (dried or fresh) and vegetables. However he won’t eat carrot cake, courgette cake or chocolate and beetroot cake, Christmas cake, mince pies etc.
A lot of people say why on earth would you put veg in a cake.

When red velvet cake was all the rage a few years ago my wife loved it, right up to the point she realised it was beetroot and since then it "tastes disgusting".

Mince pies she won't eat because of the meat content, I explained the pies had evolved decades ago so they no longer had any meat in them (apart from suet in the pastry possibly). Nope, not happening.

Rice cakes with marmite on – lovely. Can’t see why a pre-infused rice cake would be any different.

You'd think, but it seems to have an extra chemical nastiness. I like marmite in general but these are horrible.

Any pre-mixed 'Marmite...' products, e.g. Peanut butter & Marmite, Rice Cakes, cereal bars, crisps etc. all taste grim because there is never enough Marmite in them, and you pay a premium for it. Better off doing it yourself and you can play around with the ratio to your hearts content.

Mamrmite and honey goes well too

When red velvet cake was all the rage a few years ago my wife loved it, right up to the point she realised it was beetroot and since then it “tastes disgusting”.

Umm...

Red velvet is made with cocoa powder, vinegar and buttermilk. The chemical reaction between these ingredients help give the cake a deep maroon colour that is often enhanced by extra food colouring.

But that cooked chicken in a can looks grim, never knew they existed!

GET BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME! ABOMINATION!

Not into cheese, beer or bread then?

I like all those things, they are very different to fermented flippin' fish though! But perhaps that's because I know I hate fish, so the thought of fermenting it doesn't appeal in the slightest. I appreciate it is a delicacy to many though so I'm not adding it to the list here.

Well sort of, Whitebait, the eyes, bones, digestive system ... I just don't get it!

Mince pies she won’t eat because of the meat content, I explained the pies had evolved decades ago so they no longer had any meat in them (apart from suet in the pastry possibly). Nope, not happening

I mean, I hate mince pies as much as the next right thinking person, but that's funny. Does she explain this to other adults? and do they laugh?

Mamrmite and honey goes well too

I like Marmite and ketchup.

Why is that tin giving birth to a dead, cooked chicken? Yuk!

Oh gawd I was just reminded about a food I hate even more than halluomi.

Any savoury meal with orange in it. Closely followed any savoury meal with citrus in, but orange in savoury is definitely the worst. I'd rather eat sqeeky cheese.

Black cheese.

It's Cheddar with charcoal.

BIL brought some for Christmas and yes, it was truly disgusting, I mean, if you want to make a black cheese surely you'd use liquorice? Or Marmite...

Or fire? But then I guess its just charcoal anyway.

+1 mushrooms, they’re from the devils own garden. Although a friend has told me that sometimes they can be magical.

any savoury meal with citrus in

Nothing with lime?? All those amazing Thai, Viet, Indian, Mexican etc dishes?

And no lemon and garlic shellfish?

You poor bugger.

About 20 years ago my wife and I made a meal with Sosmix. The resulting fartfest was something we still think back to with shock shock and awe. Full bodied, gag inducing, room clearing farts every 60seconds, all night long with stomach cramps between each one.

Life changed that day.

Most of this thread is just fussy eaters who haven't grown out of it 😛

Surely we are more looking for stuff like that scandi rotten fish that you bury for months, monkey brains, sheep's eyes etc?

I've eaten stew made from nuts that have passed through an elephant's bowels, but it was pretty good!

Veal.

Nothing with lime?? All those amazing Thai, Viet, Indian, Mexican etc dishes?

And no lemon and garlic shellfish?

Err, well, maybe I had a degree of uncertainty when I mentioned savoury and citrus, the main thing is orange ruins any savoury main meal like a contaminant.

If you'd be so kind so as to allow me to revise my previous statement about other citrus flavours to:
Sometimes other citrus flavours can also be a little overpowering.
Which perhaps I should not have even bothered to raise in a thread about foods which are crimes against humanity. I apologise. Obviously chicken in a tin is the winner and cheese with maggots... and orange in savoury and haloumi.

Marmite & Peanut butter is the 8th wonder of the world in my house.   Beetroot with cheese and salad cream in a sandwich is amazing.

For me, Earl Grey tea is the absolute pits, I wouldn't water the plants with it.  Oh, and Mauby.

Obviously chicken in a tin is the winner and cheese rotten milk with maggots…

FTFY.

I have eaten some strange, unpleasant foods whilst working in Japan. However, for me Cottage Cheese is still the worst food I have come across.

Most of this thread is just fussy eaters who haven’t grown out of it 😛

+1

The very worst things – Foodstuffs that are actually a crime against snowflakes?

Common offenders:

Cucumber
Humous
Sprouts
Cabbage
Beetroot
Veggieburger
Water
Garlic
Mushrooms
Quark
Jalapenos
Olives
Bell peppers of a particular colour
anchovies
Non-beige foodstuffs
Grains other than wheat

However he won’t eat carrot cake, courgette cake or chocolate and beetroot cake,

I don't blame him. Courgette cake? Why make a cake out of the world's most pointless and tasteless vegetable? 🤨

King rib as in king rib supper. Greasy and sweet meat surprisingly good for a hangover tho.

There was a product recall on Mr Fothergills courgette seeds recently. They pollinate readily with non edible varieties of the same wider family and produce poisonous courgettes.

Used to work in a deli some time last century - cut some gorgonzola one day and inadvertently touched my nose before washing my hands - last time I did that - the smell was atrocious and couldn't be shifted. I don't understand how blue cheese can be considered 'food'. See also - roquefort, dolcelatte - especially when wet 🤢. Sweet milk? ... sweet Jesus!

+ 1 mushrooms. YEUCH!

I realise I am showing myself up for not having the most sophisticated of palates 😃. I LOVE nutella ... on hot buttered toast. Hold me back.

I just caught t'missus eating marmite on cream cheese on olive bread. I suspect she is a crime against humanity

I bloody love beetroot

Have you tried one of those beetroot concentrates? A truly evil thing.
beetroot done wrong

I have to wonder how the hell they were invented

I suspect they dont. Its all an act to poison unsuspecting outsiders.
The one that really confuses me is Fugu fish. How many people did the first chef kill saying each time "sure i have only the good bit this time".

Twinkies. Someone brought some in at work one time. After hearing them referenced so many times in American films and TV programmes I was looking forward to one. It was like a flavoured soft bar of soap inside a corn syrup soaked foam sponge. The List of ingredients was baffling and quite terrifying.

Processed cheese slices.

After the above eye opening video there is actually cheese in America that contains only 51% of processed cheese with 49% of f@#k knows!

Surely we are more looking for stuff like that scandi rotten fish that you bury for months, monkey brains, sheep’s eyes etc?

I had sheep’s brain in the cantine when I worked in France. I hadn’t been there long - bit of a translation error. Tasted ok - offaly - but the texture was, well, what you’d imagine it to be, soft and squidgy. I didn’t finish the plate.

Vegemite on toasted olive bread is one of my favourite breakfasts. Not Marmite though, that doesn’t work...

These thoughts of gorgonzola et al. have reminded me of this other cheese we sold in the deli … the smell was other-worldly, and not in a good way. Imagine … you’ve stuffed your filthy cycling kit in a bag - the kit you’ve just worn every day for a week’s riding and wild camping in the mountains of Morocco in the sweltering heat; the kit in whose pocket you absent-mindedly left a banana and marmite sandwich you forgot to eat at the start of the week, which has started to release vapours potent enough to burn a hole in your kit bag. When you got home, you wrapped your fetid kit in the old blanket you once used to towel down the dog after it went splashing into a swamp to fight a skunk who, rather annoyed at the intrusion into its relaxing afternoon doing skunk things, sprayed its shocking stench all over your bewildered pooch. To top it off, you scrunched up your bag of mouldering kit / blanket combo and left it to mature for a year or two crammed into a crevice in the floor of your local sauna, to be liberally watered by the sweat of a thousand feet.

I think that’s a fairly accurate description of the steps which surely must have been involved in creating the horrifying stink emanating from this cheese. Nothing in this world could have induced me to take a bite. Some brave souls did buy it; some even came back for more - clearly folk with a less keen sense of personal risk and a stronger constitution than myself.