The tragic demise of proper lids on mince pies

We've all made exceptions for a small steam hole, mate.

Actually, you know what?

I'm 100% with you here, but there is a greater crime to consider. There should not be a gap twixt mince and lid. "Air" is not a legitimate pie filling.

Mr Kipling, he does make exceedingly empty pies.

"People who make them?"

How dare you Sir!

WTF.... I make make them. Full fat, full fat lids and icing.

... and icing.

Deviant.

4 dozen made earlier, all with proper lids.

Only 3 dozen left now. Burp! Where's the Gaviscon?

My OH makes them, with a slightly lardy pastry too - lush.

Although I had to give her a hint in November, by buying ready-made from ASDA 🙂

Deviant.

100%

… and icing.

Dusting... wrong term.

But Icing sounds good and marzipan 😉

Some folk just like to be fancy. Just make them whatever way you like them. Big glass for the bases. Re roll the pastry and small glass (usually a baileys glass) for the lids.

Think I’ll make some boozy ones next. What’s the best booze to use? Brandy, Baileys, Whisky?

since someone on here mentioned it..... you can put whatever lid you want on because it's coming off, to be replaced by a slice of strong cheese. Cheddar, or Stilton, most likely.

(the lid will probably be eaten separately though, this is not a calorie saving device)

We’ve all made exceptions for a small steam hole, mate.

😂

I’m 100% with you here, but there is a greater crime to consider. There should not be a gap twixt mince and lid. “Air” is not a legitimate pie filling.

Amen.  I can see I am amongst true brethren here.  Some oozing of filling is allowable as it at least demonstrates a conscientious attempt to achieve full mincemeat yield.

You are all a bunch of freaks, the only proper lid on a mince pie is a bin lid, Satan's food, along with marizpan and marmite....

“People who make them?”

How dare you Sir!

Clarification.  People who make them without fully formed lids.  Blessed are the pie makers - so long as they are doing it 'properly', like your good self it would seem 😉

You are all a bunch of freaks, the only proper lid on a mince pie is a bin lid, Satan’s food, along with marizpan and marmite….

Burn him!

Thine Wife is a wrong un!

Although she does make me mince pasties. Like Cornish ones, but full of mince meat, not mince meat.

But Icing sounds good and marzipan 😉

You're lucky I'm not still a moderator.

I've made a mince pie tray bake to bring with us in the camper. Brandy in the mince and a crumble topping for a change on it. Going down well with a glass of port

This Thread Is Useless Without Pictures.

And samples. Do you deliver?

I’ve made a mince pie tray bake to bring with us in the camper. Brandy in the mince and a crumble topping for a change on it. Going down well with a glass of port

That does sound good!

Eaten most of it. Usually have a bake of something when we are away in the van

[img] [/img]

Got a couple of slices of homemade snicker cheese cake left to eat before we go home

[img] [/img]

since someone on here mentioned it….. you can put whatever lid you want on because it’s coming off, to be replaced by a slice of strong cheese. Cheddar, or Stilton, most likely.

What on earth. What is this? Is this real? Is any of this real?

I’m 100% with you here, but there is a greater crime to consider. There should not be a gap twixt mince and lid. “Air” is not a legitimate pie filling.

Absolutely this. I feel a serious escalation of the winter of discontent

you can put whatever lid you want on because it’s coming off, to be replaced by a slice of strong cheese. Cheddar, or Stilton, most likely.

I'm not so sure on the cheese on mince pies theory. Warm the pies, lift the lid, dollop of clotted cream, lid back on to help it melt in.....😍

Local bakery does them with a lid of brandy butter cream in a dirty great edge to edge dollop.

You can feel the blood vessels in your mouth harden as you chew.

I'll take that over more pastry every time.

What on earth. What is this? Is this real? Is any of this real?

Try it, you'll never look back. Everything's better with cheese.

Blow torch the stilton as well. Proper nice.

Think I'll pass thanks 😂

What’s the best booze to use? Brandy, Baileys, Whisky?

Correct.

*regards kitchen cupboard. Finds them regrettably bereft of mincey goodness.

The advantage of partial lids is that there's no air gap where filling should be , so it's a true dilemma.

The only proper lid on a mince pie is a bin lid, Satan’s food,

100% correct. I expect the pastry is lovely, but they contaminate it with that stuff.

.

As a child I was very disappointed to find the filling had nothing to do with mince.

Agreed, I was only pondering this problem as a took the last full lid pie from the tub.

Given enough to drink, one evening I think I may have a little experiment with the cheese/alcohol/cream options.
Probably using one of the star shaped tops as a victim.

Aldi luxury mince pies would fit your bill.

The folk above with the cheese can get in the sea. Part of my extended family has a tradition of getting a massive round of stilton and scooping it onto mince pies with a dollop of brandy butter. Absolutely foul - the culinary equivalent of inviting Piers Morgan, Katie Hopkins and Jim Davidson for Christmas lunch. Just an unpleasant assault on the senses.

My dog has decided she likes mince pies.

After snaffling one and being forced to hurl at the vets she came home slept off the emetic then thought she would just make sure by chowing on another.... So off we went again to the vets.

I wasn't a fan before but now the smell tinged with vom has probably sealed their fate to remain on the shelf

@aberdeenlune
My tipple of choice for livening up mince pies is Sloe Gin.....

Also. Mini, or "fun" sized, can get in the sea and should've been banned long ago by any right thinking country  Either give me an acceptably proper sized  mince pie with pastry so short it needs both hands to eat and hold it. Or give me death*

*Well, perhaps not death, perhaps disappointment.

I like the mini ones. More pastry, fewer crumbs. You need to have more of them though, obviously.

since someone on here mentioned it….. you can put whatever lid you want on because it’s coming off, to be replaced by a slice of strong cheese. Cheddar, or Stilton, most likely.

How on earth did this aberration, this, this, THIS SORDID ACT OF DESECRATION pass me by unnoticed!  How are you even allowed in this thread?  I'm going to install Delia Smith and Mary Berry as thread bouncers I think.  "Can't come in here with that cheese mate. Clotted cream? In you go, have a nice evening".

I like the mini ones

Always suspected you were a wrong un but could never put my finger on why....

I'm taking names in my little black book.  So far, @theotherjonv, @higthepig, @dyna-ti and @bigblackshed's missus have been indicted.  @kelvin is skating on thin ice.  I was initially going to take a tough line with @Tracey. I have decided, on consideration that the baked item she describes is clearly not a mince pie and thus exempt from the rules (and sounds lovely).

On the whole, I am pleased to see the deviant quotient is relatively low and most of you are upstanding ladies and gents.

Warm the pies, lift the lid, dollop of clotted cream, lid back on to help it melt in…..😍

Don't think I didn't see this.  I have adjudicated however and decided to let it pass. Because that's what I do! If you hadn't replaced the lid, the outcome would have been very different.

Mini ones are awful. Mincemeat to pastry ratio is all wrong (I can illustrate with equations if you want but if you assume the pastry thickness is a constant irrespective of pie volume, then the filling scales as the cube should tell you all you need)

And, you can't get enough cheese on top.

Mini ones are awful. Mincemeat to pastry ratio is all wrong (I can illustrate with equations if you want but if you assume the pastry thickness is a constant irrespective of pie volume, then the filling scales as the cube should tell you all you need)

I don't know if you are seeking redemption, but there is wisdom in those words.  Maybe hope is not completely lost in your case?

And, you can’t get enough cheese on top.

Doh!!!! 😡

I was initially going to take a tough line with @Tracey. I have decided, on consideration that the baked item she describes is clearly not a mince pie and thus exempt from the rules (and sounds lovely).

The cheesecake swung it for me, proper use of dairy based products, none of this "on a mince pie" nonsense

I’m taking names in my little black book.  So far, @theotherjonv, @higthepig, @dyna-ti and @bigblackshed’s missus have been indicted.  @kelvin is skating on thin ice.

I take great offence to this (also to being likened to being the equivalent of Jim Davidson at a dinner party!)

Higthepig, dyna-ti and bigblackshed's missus need a trip to forced re-education, a bit like room 101 but with shortcrust pastry being the key element.

Kelvin is indeed on thin ice but has time to recant his misdemeanours.

I'm in a category of my own, among this crowd at least but I note a couple of other disciples. You can flog me, nail me to a suitable shaped bit of wood (a wedge probably, with the nose cut off to spite our followers) but in years to come you'll be adding stilton to the top of your pies and praying for me to come again.

Agree on the lids thing, if it’s going to have a star or Xmas tree it should be an additional piece of pastry on top of a proper lid.

Cheese on a mince pie? Un-natural and shouldn’t be allowed - I love cheese but would never mix the two for fear of tainting them both.

@Tracey - while your mince crumble looks lovely, it’s not a mince pie sorry 😬

I’m not a big fan of fancy ones either, the wife bought some posh sainsburys ones last week and 5 of the 6 are still in the cupboard which is unheard of. Give me a nice simple Tesco/Sainsbury/Whatever regular mince pie. Lovely.

I do like mine in a bowl with a good helping of double cream, which seems a bit wrong. Sometimes I put a bit of Kellys ice cream in there too, but find then you have to have two mince pies to match the cream/ice cream quantities - yum!

I love cheese but would never mix the two for fear of tainting them both.

For fear of? So, you've condemned us but never actually tried it then?

No further questions, m'lud.

tonyd, welcome to the thread.  I can see you are a person of good taste and will fit right in. There is a list of names at the top of this page of ne'r do wells you should avoid.  The cheese botherer with messianic delusions especially.

Thanks for the booze idea @sprootlet but I don’t have sloe gin (never tasted it). My wife made some mince pies yesterday (mostly without lids) but you can hardly taste the booze. Think she only put in a teaspoon of brandy. I have some marzipan and a couple of cartons of Baileys cream so all is not lost.

However I will get some more mincemeat and infuse it overnight with lots of Brandy and make some fresh ones on Christmas Eve. The kids don’t eat them anyway.

The cheese botherer with messianic delusions

Proper LOL at the description!

but in years to come you’ll be adding stilton to the top of your pies and praying for me to come again.

Definitely sounds like one for the naughty list.

Mini ones are awful. Mincemeat to pastry ratio is all wrong (I can illustrate with equations if you want but if you assume the pastry thickness is a constant irrespective of pie volume, then the filling scales as the cube should tell you all you need)

I mentioned this a while back: they're blighted by surface area to volume ratio.

Mrs R is currently making mince pies. Shortcrust pastry, filled properly, with lid. Only a deviant would accept a substitute.

My wife made some mince pies yesterday (mostly without lids)

Another one for The List, I fear.

Just wish I could get mince pies here 🙁

Daughter's flying over from London today, might get her to pick some up 🙂

Another one for The List, I fear.

Indeed.  With a deep sigh and a heavy heart, I shall yet again open the book of shame and lift my quill.  Mogrim, I hope your daughter succeeds in her mercy mission 👍

I can only assume that all these mince pie lid Hitler's are Tory voters and staunch brexiteers who are happy with the pre war direction that our country is heading.

Open your minds people, vee brakes and 26" wheels are old school, give the cheese a go. You might not like it, but 2022 will now have been different and you'll have a story to tell the grand kids.

You might not like it, but 2022 will now have been different and you’ll have a story to tell the grand kids.

What, that I ruined a mince pie AND a piece of cheese?

Love a mincer. Best thing about Christmas. Never tried one with cheese, I can definitely see the appeal of the dark side.

Fortunately my veganism will save me (burn me now 🤣)

May make some tomorrow with the mince soaked in brandy and whisky.

This has to be a hat in for thread of the week.

Justice for higthepig! They're a waste of good pastry. And Xmas pud is overrated, the only reason I had it at my work Xmas dinner was the fact it was surrounded by an ocean of proper custard.

But cheese and Xmas cake? Oh yes, yes, YES in a When Harry Met Sally stylee.

give the cheese a go

This is the same of those weird M&S or Waitrose Heston Blumenthal recipes that mix weird foods to "modernise" a classic, and you end up with monstrosities like Passion Fruit and Terry's Chocolate Orange Xmas Pudding, or a roulade of scotch eggs and cranberry joux, or Arctic Roll for the 21st Century that turns out to be frozen Smarties rolled in pistachio flavoured mango ice cream.

Make it stop.

But cheese and Xmas cake?

Exactly! This has been a thing for ever. Why not a mince pie?

What, that I ruined a mince pie AND a piece of cheese?

Think of it as taking one of the weird lid freaks out of the mince pie gene pool....

Exactly! This has been a thing for ever. Why not a mince pie?

Well as above, mince pies are a waste of good pastry and thus, ipso facto, this would be a waste of good cheese.

Exactly! This has been a thing for ever. Why not a mince pie?

Not a fan of cheese on Christmas cake, I've tried it and it was tolerable, and I get why people might like it, but I prefer to enjoy each of them separately. However, there is no pastry on Christmas cake. I think it's the combination of short crust pastry and cheese that is so wrong.

Think of it as taking one of the weird lid freaks out of the mince pie gene pool….

😮 Now promoted to the top of the list! I suggest you keep one eye over your shoulder this festive season....👀

🤣 I meant one of the star or Xmas tree shaped lids!

Hmm.... 🤔 I shall consider demoting you after I've finished this (fully intact) mince pie ☺️

I’m definitely a mince pie traditionalist. Don’t like fancy, and mini ones are ridiculous. We go for a good dollop of brandy butter on ours, and lifting the lid to put some inside is acceptable.
However, I’m a big cheese fan, with Stilton (even better, Stichleton) in its rightful place at the top of the list of best cheeses. I also like fruit cake and cheese although this should really be Wensleydale should it not Grommit?

So the thought of introducing a little cheesey goodness into the mince pie realm is giving me some conflicting feelings…

Im tempted, I really am. Should I resist? Guidance is needed. Which way should I turn? I’m at a crossroads…

Love a mincer. Best thing about Christmas.

Go on, treat yourself!

Well done STW, this thread has cheered me up no end 🙂

I've had one mince pie so far this year. And that was one more than I wanted. Not a fan. However the idea of adding cheese does nothing to entice me back the pastry side. It is, at best, a dangerous experiment and at worst a cataclysmic first step to filthy food groupings that should not share a fridge never mind a plate.

On that note, I'm off to snaffle some marzipan off the Christmas cake.

Mogrim, I hope your daughter succeeds in her mercy mission

It seems she has read my mind, and has already bought some!!! She's been promoted to Official Favourite Daughter now.

come over docrobster, you won't regret it. And if you do, well at least you'll be saying so based on evidence rather than the closed minds brigade. I have no problem with saying they tried it and didn't like it, it's the lack of trying that condemns them in my heart. But, y'know, if we can save just one of them there will be a place at my right hand for them. It's never too late to repent.

And +1000 for stichelton, haven't seen any in the local shops recently and too late for Neal's Yard.

@docrobster hold firm and avoid temptation! Your soul is on the line! The devil is at work in this very thread, a false prophet who will only lead you to vile culinary combinations.

upping the ante.....

https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/heston-from-waitrose-pear-fig-mincepies-in-cheese-pastry/556277-790282-790283

https://pinchofnom.com/recipes/mince-pie-cheese-toastie/

but also, really conflicted here......  Holly Willoughbooby can do no wrong in my eyes but

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10156052972177122

- I'm like a cat with a slice of buttered toast on my back, spinning round ad infinitum

I've got to say, I think Heston might be going too far there, as he does, but I'd give it a go.

3 out of 4 on that this morning clip say yes to blue cheese with mince pies.....I always knew there had to something wrong with Holly W though.....

Re Stichelton- there was a stall at a local Xmas market selling nothing else recently so I bought a piece. When she asked which one I wanted the answer was easy- the biggest!

I’m holding fast at the moment, but if the Stilton was already open it would be a different story…

I can see me giving it a go tomorrow.
Need to buy some more mince pies though…

I’m going to install Delia Smith and Mary Berry as thread bouncers I think.

I don't know about Delia, she's a professional Food Ruiner. She's like Heston Blumenthal without the pseudoscience. I totally wouldn't put it past her to concoct the best mince pies you've ever tasted and then stick a lump of brie inside.

Speaking of whom,

Waitrose Heston Blumenthal recipes that mix weird foods to “modernise” a classic

I got some HB mince pies from M&S one year (so pretentiousness squared). They came with a sachet of "pine sugar." It was like eating a 1970s toilet air freshener.

I have no problem with saying they tried it and didn’t like it, it’s the lack of trying that condemns them in my heart

But where does that lead you? Folk dancing? Incest?

You're on a slippery slope, but we're here to help.

I will try the cheese this evening. Can’t judge ‘till you’ve tested. I’m not optimistic though.

I don’t have sloe gin (never tasted it).

I was given a home-made bottle* as a leaving present one time. I eyed it with suspicion and it sat at the back of the cupboard for about three years. I eventually cracked it open when it was either that or the Domestos and it was really, really good. I bet a few drops in a mince pie would be amazing.

(* - the bottle wasn't home-made, its contents were)

But where does that lead you? Folk dancing? Incest?

Fun for all the family this Christmas.