THE Queue.
 

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THE Queue.

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Thanks for making my point Kayak, that uncle fester lookalike is clearly some sort of psycho - it's not something that you expect to figure in the minds of many people!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:50 am
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Lord be praised for I have seen across the mighty Thames and witnessed the queue.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:52 am
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"They should get Daniel Craig to do a shift as a cameo!"

As a yoof I knew Gary Bullock / Gary Connery who parachuted in as the Queen. He got jailed last month for GBH. That's not been on the news.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:55 am
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That selfie photo of Uncle Fester posing looks like the corpse is lying in a massive satin fanny.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:55 am
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The queue tracker doesn't seem to be working anymore:

I was thinking of joining the end if it had died down a bit.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:07 am
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I find the grief some people have for a person they have never met, why a whole nation has to mourn, the constant TV coverage mystifying but can understand it to a degree. However, the desire to stand in a queue for hours and hours and hours to shuffle past a box covered in a flag in a big empty room is just bizarre.
If people want to do it though, then let them carry on.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:07 am
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I genuinely questioned how many of these people are there to pay their respects, rather than to be able to say ‘I was there’ to their mates and family in future. Same goes for all the crowds outside. It’s all a bit ghoulish if you ask me.

TBH if I was in London I'd probably go for the historic 'I was there', sometimes it's nice to experience events in real life rather than through someone else's lens.

State funerals aren't really like buses, you could be waiting a while for the next 🙂

Anyway I like a good send off.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:09 am
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I was watching the shenanigans at 12:30am last night, for chill out purposes and something actually happened! It cut straight to an outside shot as soon as it occurred though:

https://twitter.com/PressTV/status/1570297070300401666?t=EnN1BEsQUg37G4-4JyPabA&s=19

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:23 am
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My mate is on watch today. He's Yeaoman Warder at the Tower ordinarily.

At least the shifts are short, bloody warm and uncomfortable in that uniform. It's the Household Div that will be sweating the most, that armour isn't light.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:26 am
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That photo of Levi Bellfield stood next to the satin fanny corpse (thanks @franksinatra, that made me spit out my tea laughing) is the most random thing I've seen online in a while.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:34 am
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There is a live stream of a stationary coffin

The whole thing is beyond bizarre

I genuinely questioned how many of these people are there to pay their respects, rather than to be able to say ‘I was there’ to their mates and family in future. Same goes for all the crowds outside. It’s all a bit ghoulish if you ask me.

I'll chuck mawkish into the mix as well.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:35 am
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Royal guard faints and faceplants in front of Queen's coffin at Westminster Hall

Press TV is owned by the Islamic Republic of Iran, I can't help feeling that it's unpatriotic to share that clip.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:45 am
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That photo of Levi Bellfield stood next to the satin fanny corpse

It's actually the body of Maradona, and the selfieist is a Funeral worker who got sacked and received death threats for the photo

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:49 am
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All the road closures are pretty extreme, causing problems on 2 of the 5 jobs I'm looking at today 😕

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:12 am
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Go on lads, by Sunday I'd like to see as many posts on the Queue as there are people in it.
You can do it!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:16 am
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Is it acceptable to travel to London to look at the historic queue? Maybe that might generate a queue to view the queue.

All the road closures are pretty extreme, causing problems on 2 of the 5 jobs I’m looking at today 😕

We were just talking about that in work. Does the queue cross roads? Do people have to wait for a green man, or gap in the traffic? Or does it go onto the South Bank?

Of course, there's no need for a massive queue. People have been issued passes to enter the place (at a particular time apparently), so they could equally have been given a ticket with a time to arrive in batches, like many venues use. But that wouldn't look as spectacular as this, and wouldn't properly demonstrate the love that we had for our deceased monarch.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:27 am
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Of course, there’s no need for a massive queue. People have been issued passes to enter the place (at a particular time apparently), so they could equally have been given a ticket with a time to arrive in batches, like many venues use. But that wouldn’t look as spectacular as this, and wouldn’t properly demonstrate the love that we had for our deceased monarch.

Cynical - but it does sound very plausible. A system that basically gave you a 15min window to pitch up with your e ticket. Miss your window and you miss your chance. Over 'sell' by 5-10% for no shows to maximise those who get a chance. That would surely be an easy win. And.........they kind of knew this was going to be a thing in the next year or 3 so putting in the legwork to get it ready in time would not have been impossible.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:33 am
 Robz
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It's a constant stream of people filtering through, the ticket issuing system is to limit congestion at the door, how would a batch system work any more efficiently? There would need to be batches (of huge numbers) arriving pretty much constantly and then there would be late and early people. It would be chaos.

I am pretty sure they thought this through/modelled it during the planning process and that the spectacle wasn't their number 1 priority.

Local authorities etc have been planning this for years. The infrastructure and logistical arrangements that were seemingly spun up overnight in Aberdeenshire were really quite impressive.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:35 am
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I suppose you could always go round again.

Some nutjob will

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:44 am
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It’s a constant stream of people filtering through, the ticket issuing system is to limit congestion at the door, how would a batch system work any more efficiently? There would need to be batches (of huge numbers) arriving pretty much constantly and then there would be late and early people. It would be chaos.

It really wouldn't. You work out how many people can go through in 15 mins. Say 500. 500 people are then given a ticket for say 0415, 500 for 0430 etc etc. 2 'kettling' zones with those zig zag barriers - one live and one being stacked. Once the stacked one is full and security checked it then becomes the live one and starts the process of walking through and the other zone becomes the stacking zone. Obvious benefit being you know when you'll be needed and are not expected to stand around for hours and hours. Down side is the booking system would have to be oldie friendly and you'd have to ensure your people per hour estimate was bob on or you could end up with delays or an empty webcam.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:56 am
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Is it cynical of me to think that they will deliberately slow the process down, to ensure maximum queue length?

Yesterday R4 were advising it would require up to 30 hours in the queue but it's nowhere near that.

Will numbers drop off by Monday?

Just imagine if everyone who wants to go, has been by Saturday and they have no queue, what will "they" do?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:02 pm
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There is a live stream of a stationary coffin

The whole thing is beyond bizarre

It's not an exclusively British thing though. You can still queue to see Lenin in a coffin and he died nearly 100 years ago.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:06 pm
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I suppose you could always go round again.

Some nutjob will

One woman managed 9 visits to the coffin when it was in Edinburgh.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:10 pm
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Thanks crazy-legs. While that story is mildly amusing, it led me to some absolutely splutteringly funny stuff they've done during this period of moaning. Very, very funny... and lots of it. More Mash please!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:17 pm
 gray
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As a yoof I knew Gary Bullock / Gary Connery who parachuted in as the Queen. He got jailed last month for GBH. That’s not been on the news.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-62557277

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:19 pm
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Just imagine if everyone who wants to go, has been by Saturday and they have no queue, what will “they” do

& if it happens it gets to Saturday and there's still a queue, what are all the republicans going to do?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:23 pm
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Will numbers drop off by Monday?

Im going for yes on the grounds she wont be there much past the early hours so they can get her ready for the main event later in the morning

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:25 pm
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& if it happens it gets to Saturday and there’s stilla cue, what are all the republicans going to do?

Dismiss as a load of nut jobs going around for the 4th time.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:25 pm
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I bet there’s no foreign visitors in the queue either.

I spoke with a couple from Canada on my flight on Tuesday, who come over just to do this.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:26 pm
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Queuing is big business

Aye, got an email from Tesco yesterday saying that all their stores will be shut as a mark of respect.

Except the ones along the funeral procession 🤣

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:28 pm
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'We're closed as a mark of respect' - more like parents can't find childcare at such short notice, and everyone else wants to get leathered on their bonus BH. Possibly 5% are actually going to be watching the funeral.

And is it disrespectful to not do anyhting other than honour the queen on the BH? That would mean that only Christians can take Christmas or Easter off.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:42 pm
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If I was nearby, I'd go to see the queue. Still can't be as slow as the one for buses at the mega though

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 12:58 pm
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If I was nearby, I’d go to see the queue.

is there a queue to see THE queue?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:02 pm
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If I was nearby, I’d go to see the queue.

is there a queue to see THE queue?

I've already done this - I'm first in line. It's the queue to view the queue!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:05 pm
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Why do the BBC switch the news between channels? Why don’t they just keep BBC1 as Queenie cam and put everything else on BBC2?

They do during other sporting events etc too.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:05 pm
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some twitter wag suggested that take the coffin out and drive it slowly along the length of the queue. Everyone can go home. job's a good 'un

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:07 pm
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I’ve already done this – I’m first in line. It’s the queue to view the queue!

I’m coming down at the weekend to start a queue to view the queue that’s viewing the queue

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:10 pm
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is there a queue to see THE queue?

The whole country will end up as one massive piece of performance art as queues form to see the queues that are there to see THE Queue which is there to see the coffin.

Very meta.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:11 pm
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The whole country will end up as one massive piece of performance art as queues form to see the queues that are there to see THE Queue which is there to see the coffin.

Very meta.

All keeping an eye on the webcams showing the queues viewing queues viewing queues?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 1:13 pm
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Here's some breaking news from the BBC:

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tees-62905699

Middlesbrough mum texted daughter 'we must go to London tonight'

The wonders of rolling news and the latest up-to-date developments eh?

I'm looking forward to hearing of any further possible exchanges of text messages between Joyce and Shelby Dawson.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 2:26 pm
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Is it acceptable to travel to London to look at the historic queue? Maybe that might generate a queue to view the queue.

Yes, but not by bike.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 2:48 pm
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Posted : 15/09/2022 2:56 pm
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And is it disrespectful to not do anyhting other than honour the queen on the BH? That would mean that only Christians can take Christmas or Easter off.

I'm planning on launching a ten corgi salute using trebuchets.

It's what she would have wanted.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:05 pm
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Queuing is big business

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/134231027602
/blockquote>

"How much to post to Nigeria?"

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:06 pm
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some twitter wag suggested that take the coffin out and drive it slowly along the length of the queue.

I think they should have displayed it at Waterloo underground station. Put it in the middle of that travelator between the different lines and that way wouldn't have been any problems with people hanging around looking at it for too long.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:06 pm
 igm
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When you get to the front there’ll be someone to explain that really you need form RD-22 and you need to join that other queue to get it.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:13 pm
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Posted : 15/09/2022 3:21 pm
 igm
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Pretty sure that’s an R2-D2 not a RD-22. Back of the queue sir.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:23 pm
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Damned Bureaucracy.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:26 pm
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some twitter wag suggested that take the coffin out and drive it slowly along the length of the queue.

Crowd surfing ftw

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 3:34 pm
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Queue'll surprise...

democratic rights

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 4:13 pm
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Apparently, if you’re not presently in ’The Queue’ then you won’t be allowed to vote at the next general election

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 6:16 pm
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I noticed that the official queue tracking site is using W3W to give the location of the end. Hope someone's checking each update to make sure there aren't any inappropriate 3 word combinations being used.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 6:32 pm
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Nation of serfs?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 6:39 pm
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I noticed that the official queue tracking site is using W3W to give the location of the end

I believe What.The.**** is appropriate

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 6:39 pm
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Queue’ll surprise…

🙂

The idea of a sainted few being considered too important to have to queue to see the lying in state of a lady too important to have to drawer the curtains in her own bedroom in the morning being astonishing is, well, astonishing!

The Uk are world leaders in two things - queuing (the plebs) and queue jumping (the others). The fact we are rocking it in both categories this week is truly befitting of the moment.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 7:09 pm
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Possibly 5% are actually going to be watching the funeral.

I'd take a spread bet with you on that. 5% is 3.3 million, 13 million watched the Duke of Edinburgh's funeral. William and Kate's wedding, 24M.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 7:27 pm
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I’d take a spread bet with you on that. 5% is 3.3 million, 13 million watched the Duke of Edinburgh’s funeral. William and Kate’s wedding, 24M.

Get out of here with your facts!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 7:33 pm
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I heard a heart warming tale on the radio on the way home. A lady had got lost, and was given wrong directions to the end of the queue. She retraced steps and was given directions over a bridge but came on the queue part way through and was then given directions to the back. At this point she was feeling like she should just go home again, but another group of ladies said she could join them in the disabled / accessibility queue. They 'literally' saved her life, and they were now having a cup of tea together and swapping stories and phone numbers.

Can we have a royal funeral more often, this is bringing the country together in a way that no politician ever could.

In other news - queue jumpers, WTF!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 7:34 pm
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A lady had got lost, and was given wrong directions to the end of the queue. She retraced steps and was given directions over a bridge but came on the queue part way through and was then given directions to the back. At this point she was feeling like she should just go home again, but another group of ladies said she could join them in the disabled / accessibility queue. They ‘literally’ saved her life,

How can you not find the end of a queue? Look at the direction people are facing and walk the opposite way until there are no more people. She’ll be lucky if she makes it back home!

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 8:51 pm
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Why did she join the "disabled / accessibility queue"?

Did she actually have a disability before she started to look for the end of the queue? Did she have a blue badge to prove it? I need more facts before I decide that she wasn't a chancer.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:08 pm
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I’m thinking she was blind if she got lost in a massive queue.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 9:10 pm
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absolute chancer was the way I heard it. And then took her sob story to the radio and told the nation about it.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:16 pm
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I noticed that the official queue tracking site is using W3W to give the location of the end. Hope someone’s checking each update to make sure there aren’t any inappropriate 3 word combinations being used.

People directed to N Carolina

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:25 pm
 Bazz
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My work colleagues inform me that London Fire Brigade are being mobilised to provide "Crown welfare" to the queued. Unfortunately being sat at home with a busted ankle I won't be able to join them 🤣. They weren't it's fair to say thrilled.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:29 pm
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C'mon, how many of you on here are actually in the queue at the moment?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:55 pm
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My work colleagues inform me that London Fire Brigade are being mobilised to provide “Crown welfare” to the queued

I assume that doesnt mean using high pressure hoses on them?

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 10:56 pm
 Bazz
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I'm assuming not, though I have no idea what they are going to do, it's not like we carry portaloos or kettles for hot drinks, we rely on the Salvation army to provide us with that.

 
Posted : 15/09/2022 11:54 pm
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@cougar I'm going to assume you know better and should have prefixed that with the customary "regret to inform poetry has broken out" 🤨

disappoint

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 1:45 am
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Do people realise that "the queue" is only about half a million people in total? Over the whole 5 days?

It's a fringe group of nutters (literally the 1%), it's a nothingburger. Move on.

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:31 am
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But the media says we have to care so YOU WILL CARE! Now get in the queue

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:35 am
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You can save a lot of time by watching the live feed on Sky news. 🤷🏻

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:37 am
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It’s a fringe group of nutters (literally the 1%), it’s a nothingburger. Move on.

I hadn't realised the Cabinet were queueing.

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:49 am
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I always seem to get the people in queues who have absolutely no concept of personal space amongst strangers.

They stand right up close behind you, close enough to feel their wretched breath, and you are forced to develop elaborate strategies in an attempt to increase the distance.

An elaborate yawn that includes a little foot slide and shuffle for instance or the pretense of having to access your bag that involves moving away slightly to a comfortable distance to remove it from your shoulder and perform a fake rummage before putting it back at your new found safe distance.
Hoping that they don't notice.

But they notice. They DO notice and what do the bastards do, but close the gap again?! 😡

Imagine 30 hours of that 😳

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:51 am
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Wear a hula-hoop.... if they come inside the ring of power, you can stab them in the eyes.

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 7:54 am
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🤣

 
Posted : 16/09/2022 8:02 am
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