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I have always been a bit of a worrier. And it seems many on here are too. Anyway, this week I gave voice to one of my semi-regular things to worry about, and spoken out loud, it really did seem pretty ridiculous:
When old people are in care homes with dementia, they sometimes don't speak lucidly, or make sense. It would appear that random stuff in their subconscious comes to the surface. So what if I'm old with dementia in a care home, and it turns out my subconscious makes me be horrible to people? Like a nice carer says, 'Come on Doris5000, I'll brush your hair' and I shout 'SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE, YOU SLAG'? She would think I was horrible! I would hate that! I always try to be nice to people, and can't stand upsetting anyone, but what if I'm actually secretly a really shitty person?
I am 44 by the way, and this has been a source of concern for several years now.
So anyway, please share any particularly pointless and ridiculous things that keep you awake at night. Not the big stuff - that's understandable. Just the crap your brain turns to when you're trying to take a break from the big stuff...
I share that worry too! I spend so much time biting my tongue I worry it will all come out one day 🤣
I suspect it’s common. My dad has Alzheimer’s and it seems like either he uses his illness as an excuse to behave badly or else it has stripped away a filter to reveal something unpleasant that was always there but hidden.
My wife provides care at home for the NHS. She is well used to having abuse hurled at her and accepts that it's mostly dementia in action, whereas I can't use that defence yet 😂
It can be frustrating. Worry is normal, I find saying it out load or writing it down can help see it for the silly thought pattern it is.
Thinking about this will now make me worry about things. One of my "favourites" I remember. I broke a spoke an had to limp home on the road bike. I then couldn't stop worrying about what would happen if that happened on a long audax and I couldn't get home. The crucial detail here is that I hadn't actually got such an event planned...
I worry my house will fall apart, in various ways. It has happened to me in every house I’ve lived in, and when I start being fixated on it or waking up thinking about it I know I need to sort my head out.
Sandstone bricks turning back to sand, windows falling out, water running down the walls, grout leaking and causing rot… it’s become sort of useful because I now know ‘ah, that’s a house falling down worry, time to sort out your life!’
Chimneys crashing through the roof and landing on the kids in bed…dream that one regularly!
I keep replaying my past where I've done or said something that I now find cringe worthy. The reality is that anyone else involved probably forgot all about it within seconds, but even things from 20+ years ago will run through my head, and I'll feel like a complete idiot... it genuinely keeps me awake at night!
House worry, huge one. Recent water leak from shower hasn’t helped 😂
Like a nice carer says, ‘Come on Doris5000, I’ll brush your hair’ and I shout ‘SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE, YOU SLAG’?
IIRC David Badiels dad has a very particular form of dementia where alarmingly foul and explicit language is a symptom.
Having hung out in care homes a fair bit you sometimes meet people who are really quite charmingly effected by the condition - I sat with a lady once who was in a state of constant, gleeful excitement that some nice boys are coming soon, possibly just glimpsed them pass the window, they might ring the doorbell in a moment.
Like a nice carer says, ‘Come on Doris5000, I’ll brush your hair’ and I shout...
I was sat in a day case ward once, helping a family member who was having a procedure. There was a nice little old lady in the next bed who came in and chatted about the weather, and being worried about her little dog being home on it's own all day. She seemed understandably nervous about the general she was having ahead of her procedure, but was the stereotypical sweet old grandmother.
When she was wheeled back in post-procedure, all hell broke loose. It was like The Exorcist; I was blushing at the language - the repeated c-word based abuse aimed at everyone in the room, the boiled sweets being thrown at people, all of it. It was a two person job to keep her in the bed.
Half an hour later she was asking me, very politely, if I'd be able get her some barley sugar from the shop, because somehow her sweets had gone missing.
I was kept awake recently wondering if I walked the dog in area A he would hurt his feet on the gravel or go to Area B where it would be really muddy.
We are 5 years away from getting a dog.