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Well I don't really want to type all this, but I'm forcing myself too because I don't know what else to do.
I have previously posted about my mum who has been suffering from alzheimers for almost 8 years. Well on Saturday this weekend she moved out of her family home and into full time care. The speed at which she has declined over the last few months has been frightening, and very upsetting. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from my brother to say that my dad had had a breakdown. He has been my mums carer at home full time. My mum only had occasional day care, but that didn't last long. There have been failings from social services along the way. The family visited a few homes and she was accepted into a local home. Luckily I had planned a visit home for last weekend and very glad I did as I got to see my mum at home for the last time. I don't even want to describe how I feel about seeing her the way she was, so stripped of the mum that I know and love. It's a horrible horrible disease.
I know we have more difficult days ahead, and my dads heart is broken along with the rest of us.
I rarely post here, and don't know you, but your post has genuinely moved me to reply.
My Dad died last year, after going downhill shockingly quickly with vascular dementia.
I don't have anything other than platitudes to add mate, but I am thinking of you. Its brutal.
Look after yourself.
David
...very sorry to hear your stories stcolin and francis.
Hope yous are doing ok.
So sorry to read this. I watched Vascular Dementia take my Mum. Dad was a full time carer for her. Its horrible.
Thinking of you mate.
Can only repeat what the others have said. We put my MIL in care three weeks ago. She finally got a diagnosis of Alzheimer's and vascular dementia a few months ago but it was clear long before that. She too has declined alarmingly in the last few months. She had a few falls and a few days in hospital with pneumonia. My other half lived with her for the last 6 weeks but couldn't manage that and her work. She generally doesn't recognise she has a problem but can't remember her grand childrens names, where she is etc. The care home seems stretched and so far hasn't put her into the dementia unit so we are worried she isn't getting the attention she needs to keep her hydrated etc. Horrible illness.
Awful disease, and my heart goes out to all who are affected by it.
If there is a glimmer of hope, and I appreciate only a glimmer, it is that perhaps your Dad will be value his time with her more when he doesn't have the stress and burden of being her carer holding him back. It is all very very shit, no doubt about that but sounds like your Dad was in an awful position, maybe this will be slightly less awful.
Thanks all.
Yea, I am hoping my dad can get his own health in order, this is as much about him as my mum at the minute. He was suffering really badly.
My Dad was diagnosed a few months ago, sometimes I think it's worse for My Mam, but then sometimes my Dad has the clarity to realise what's happening to him. It's utter shit.
Yup, my Mum is on her last journey with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers disease. My Dad has been lost since she moved into full time care as he also was her carer. He also has a sense of betrayal as they have been married for 59 years. Seeing my lejog doing,climber, marathon running Mum not knowing any of us or her right from left is a body shot I can tell you. I thrive on the memories I have of her and wish I had appreciated them more.
Yeah, best wishes to you and yours, OP
I lost my mum about 5 years ago. I mean, she's still alive but she's not really my mum - and I hate myself for feeling that way.
Sorry to hear OP.
My Mum has Alzheimer’s and Dad has Parkinson’s and dementia.
My Partner’s Dad has Alzheimer’s too. It would appear that our daughter hasn’t been blessed in terms of her genes!
Horrible diseases. Really painful to witness them take hold of those you love.
I lost my mum about 5 years ago. I mean, she’s still alive but she’s not really my mum – and I hate myself for feeling that way.
this is one of the most cruel things about dementia - the person you love is long gone but its hard to grieve when the husk of the body still lives
I'm sorry to hear that. I've watched 2 grandparents succumb to Alzheimer's, and watched my parents trying to come to terms with losing their parents. I can only imagine how hard it's been for them and for you.
It's terrible seeing dementia change someone you love and grief is natural. Some days will be better than others and all I can say is spend time with her when you can.
Sorry to hear about this OP.
We were in this situation Jan '20 when a family member had to go into care with vascular dementia.
it was an awful & and stressful process to go through but we found a lovely home and they like it there which is nice to know, and they are SAFE. He lived alone and not being local it was a worry.
It sounds like your dad did everything he could for as long as he could. Hopefully he can see that and also get back his health.
It's a horrible condition that will get worse in time and there will be lots of tears she'd in the future I'm sure but we take heart in that all the research into the homes paid off and they like it there.
Good luck with it all.
Sorry for the the thread revival. I'm in exactly the same place as the OP. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers 10-months ago and I guess was on a steady decline until 3-weeks ago when she seemed to deteriorate rapidly. In the space of 3-weeks she's started wandering at random times, to climbing out of windows to 'get away from the strange man in the house, who's creeping me out' - my dad. She slipped off the window sill knackering her ankle but still tries to get out. Banging on windows as people walk by saying she's locked in and she now seems to be incontinent. My dad is done and it looks like she's now going into a home...she's not even 70 yet.
It's a truly evil disease.