[Closed] The non attacking, non judgemental thread.

What did I just read

The non attacking, non judgemental thread.

I was hating it, felt like telling everyone to get off my trails and leave me alone

I quit trying to ride and headed back for home and passed a rider in an outlandish outfit of multi coloured top and bright yellow short shorts. “Strong look” I commented

So flirting basically?

Maybe just a thread where people can talk about their day without being yelled at. Everyone has such different priorities and concerns. All I see is people arguing.

A noble aspiration, and I get where you are coming from. It's all a bit shit at the moment. Not Armageddon end of the world shit, but relentless, grind you down, drip, drip, bad news shit.

I think your experiment is doomed to failure though because people are sarcastic, unempathetic, know it all, piss taking arses. As evidenced above
Sadly.

Thanks bud. Your comment is like the bloke in the yellow shorts. A brief smile in amongst the scowls.😊

Chapeau. A bit more understanding in the world would most definitely not go amiss. Just imagine for a moment what we could achieve as the human race if we just pulled together.

Plenty of non judgemental threads on here, long as you avoid politics, religion and driving 😊

avoid politics, religion and driving

opps all three

I had one of those "ooh, that path looks fun, I wonder where that goes?" moments today and headed along a completely unofficial, not on any maps path. In due course, it spat me out onto what was quite obviously a narrow, overgrown footpath rather than the bridleway I was hoping it would intersect. Group of walkers came towards me and I pulled over into the side to make space, cringing inwardly.

"You better watch out" says a burly gentleman walker.
"Oh yeah?" says I, expecting to be bollocked for riding on a footpath.
"Yeah, it gets horribly muddy and off-camber along that way. Best line's to get up high on the left, but it's rooty as well. If you make it along to the bridleway without a dab you've done well" he says, grinning.

I laughed, made it about 50 yards then fell off into a bush.

I laughed, made it about 50 yards then fell off into a bush.

Sounds like my morning's mis-navigation too 😂

Plenty of non judgemental threads on here, long as you avoid politics, religion and driving 😊

What tyre??? 🤣 🤣 🤣

I think your experiment is doomed to failure though because people are sarcastic, unempathetic, know it all, piss taking arses. As evidenced above
Sadly.

Stop judging 😉

Great aspiration - saw a very sensible post of yours on one of the Covid threads earlier today, obviously it stood out amongst the nonsense the rest of us were posting!

Been a bit flat for a few days - MrsMC is away looking after her dad in a complicated in and out of hospital, preparing to get him ready for a move to sheltered accommodation while her mum is in respite. She's been away 10 days and for the first time in a long time I've really missed her - normally our solo trips away are a chance for both of us to enjoy some time doing our own thing, but I've been working through half term so not been able to take the kids out and do much for them, all the time with another lockdown looming.

Anyway, I nipped out for an hour on the road bike at lunchtime, got a couple of wind assisted PBs, disn't get any close passes and got a friendly toot of the horn and shouted thanks from a couple of drivers after I stopped and pulled a bit of fallen tree off the road.

That's my mindless waffle for the day...

Pyro. Moments like that make my day. Basically most people are alright, it's just we tend to be more vocal when were feeling out of sorts.
I've been listening to the New York Times podcast 'The Daily' for about a year now. They are firmly Democrat despite claiming to be middle ground (I think, just how it appears to me). Recently they did a couple of pieces where they represented Republican and Democrat viewpoints on the election. Finally I got a realistic impression of the fears and desires of people that I've ridiculed. It's made me want to improve the world in a tiny way by asking people to talk to each other, be kind, be understanding and actually listen. It suddenly seems so important to me.

I had one of those “ooh, that path looks fun, I wonder where that goes?” moments today and headed along a completely unofficial, not on any maps path. In due course, it spat me out onto what was quite obviously a narrow, overgrown footpath rather than the bridleway I was hoping it would intersect. Group of walkers came towards me and I pulled over into the side to make space, cringing inwardly.

“You better watch out” says a burly gentleman walker.
“Oh yeah?” says I, expecting to be bollocked for riding on a footpath.
“Yeah, it gets horribly muddy and off-camber along that way. Best line’s to get up high on the left, but it’s rooty as well. If you make it along to the bridleway without a dab you’ve done well” he says, grinning.

I laughed, made it about 50 yards then fell off into a bush.

That genuinely made me smile, which I needed! Thanks 👍. A bit more in the spirit of the OP.

Chapeau. A bit more understanding in the world would most definitely not go amiss. Just imagine for a moment what we could achieve as the human race if we just pulled together.

+1

I can’t even trust myself to do this hence I locked myself in the mancave and TT’d on the turbo for an hour earlier as punishment for my earlier involvement.   I shall be spending the rest of the year looking after my family and ignoring other people/social media.

I will be remembering Tuesdays forest trail walk with my daughter where we had loads of fun climbing trees and saying hello to a lot of other smiling happy people.  I sincerely hope everyone here stays safe and manages the next few months in the best of health.

I went for a jog
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.
.
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No judging, remember !

I think your experiment is doomed to failure though because people are sarcastic, unempathetic, know it all, piss taking arses. As evidenced above
Sadly.

It seems I am being proved wrong. Cynicism gently dulled by decent STWers. How very dare you! 😄

I was out yesterday on my cross bike in the Pentlands. Wild, wet and windy day. However on the route I had encounters with:-

An oncoming horse rider. We did that daft thing of both moving to avoid the other and ending up facing each other. And having a laugh about it.

Two girls dressed hopelessly inappropriately for the conditions who asked for directions and just laughed when told they still had about 10 miles to go.

A car driver who sat patiently behind us till it was 100% totally safe to pass when in fact could have passed fairly safely at any time.

Walkers who held the gate open to let us through.

Hill runners who we shared a "What on earth are we doing out in this sort of weather" laugh with.

A mad daft bouncy puppy that I ended up having to stop for but who was so cute there was no way you could be angry with. And an owner who was very apologetic.

Yes there are some tossers out there but I'd say the vast majority of folk are great.

There's an awful lot of fair and decent people on here, and a few of us with enough empathy and self awareness to know when we've been dumb. The others - in a non attacking and non judgemental manner - are still on that journey 🙂

I went to London's South Bank last Friday to see a one person play about being a homosexual asylum seeker in the Midlands. (Bridge theatre, it was very good). Walking back to the station I saw groups of people enjoying each others company. Back in my home town I walked into the local kebab shop for couple of Shish kebabs (I'm married, not a piggy). It was only as I sat there waiting that I realised I was supposed to wait outside. 'Oh God! Sorry! I exclaimed. "It's no problem, they said, "Sit. Be happy".
Stuff like this is so important to me. I know some might consider my actions irresponsible but I didn't and I enjoyed sharing time with my fellow humans.

This is a great thread, thanks OP. I find it very easy to get rattled these days by things that shouldn’t bother me, incl online stuff about rides, Strava stuff, people making their own choices really. So a good think point, thank you.

A propos of nothing, one of the highlights of my weekend was riding early evening yesterday, after dark, along a familiar section of track that is normally relatively mundane. But this time I was accompanied by the silhouette of the trees in front of me, with a very reddish looking moon above them low in the sky and mars standing out really clearly next to it. Really quite serene - just one of those quite personal moments that reminds me why I like this hobby. When I got home I was plastered head to toe in mud, but didn’t really care...

Plenty of non judgemental threads on here, long as you avoid politics, religion and driving

And e-bikes. Don't forgot e-bikes.

And Rats.

Thank you for sharing. Genuinely.

Man I was the worst about ebikes. Then I spent an hour in Friston forest with a guy who'd suffered a knee problem. He showed me a bunch of awesome trails and encouraged me to try beat him up the climbs. Felt my prejudice dissolve in the face of actual human contact.

Went for a potter in the hills on Friday, most unlike us - fantastic, just fanTAStic to be outdoors, and lovely to have other potterers say hello.

Suffered horrendously on my run this morning, but my mates waited patiently for me on every climb and descent, and didn't make fun of me. So full marks to them for not being either judgemental or attacking me 🙂

And it was a lovely day too, sunny, warm(ish), and no wind. Fantastic.

I always make an effort with people I see out when on the trails. A cheery wave and a hello or comment about the mud (lots of it here in the Blackdown Hills) and 99% of the time I get the same back. During these times that little bit of social interaction and a smile could make a difference to someone who is low. It also makes a difference to me, I feel much happier after a ride and a few hellos.
But we all have a right to feel low and grumpy at some point. So non judgy OP.
We were meant to have our first few days away since February this week... But hey ho.

Great idea and I'm astounded 32 posts in pretty much everyone has stuck to it. Double turbo this weekend with the naff weather, would of hardtailed if I'd had one built up and ready to ride but no way I'm going on the winter roadie in that wind! Saturdays zwift ride was race no2. for the academy and the first time in a long time when I was seriously ready to quit when faced with the 7 mile mostly 10% gradient hill. Still I managed to cling on to 2/20 in the B category. Completely wiped me out for the day. Ordered some decals for my new to me forks for aforementioned hardtail build.

Man I was the worst about ebikes.

I think they're a brilliant idea, have a few friends with heart problems and they can basically ride as their younger selves with friends rather than being excluded from (fast) group rides due to being unable to keep up.

We’ve been living in a world of significantly heightened stress since the start of March - I’d be surprised if there is anyone that hasn’t at some point felt like they could weep. I know I have.

Agree about trying to be cheery and smiley whenever out and about. I feel like I’ve had a great weekend because I’ve bumped into 4 people I know when out for walks and had brief socially distant chats. When you think in a normal weekend you would have probably had that interaction on the way into a pub on Friday night, it makes you realise the effect lack of socialising has... and I’m very happy being a loner day to day

What did I just read

Someone venting, basically. And someone else clearly not reading and parsing what was written. Happens all too often, sadly...

ignoring other people/social media

is a good start I think.

Thanks Pyro, good one.

Glad you head that positive moment to brighten a rough sounding day. I've been really lucky throughout this craziness, in that my day-to-day hasn't really changed that much.

Hope you have many more good encounters coming your way.

I too was feeling a bit flat today for obvious reasons, so I went for a ride. A few weeks ago I lost a bottle on a steep descent and today as I went down the descent I spotted it in a tree around head height, where some kind soul had placed it. Cheered me right up.

@rollindoughnut
Great opening post mate, I genuinely get where you are coming from.

Keep the faith.

A thread of the nature described in the title is much needed here lately.

OP I really get where you're coming from.

The world has become a relentless grind of dripping bad news and confusion lately and the lack of any forward looking clarity be it Brexit or Covid is I think a huge drain on many, me included. So many people on a knife edge of whether they will have a job or a business, the ability to see loved ones and friends and the question of when will things get better is a question no one can answer.

So yes a lot more kindness and a great deal more thought would be a great thing to see on here.

Best wishes to all even the mardy argumentative types. 😊

My Dad died last night, he loaned me the money to buy my first mountain bike (2003 Orange evo 2 for those interested)

Anyway in his honour I went out for a glorious mtb ride today and came home with a smile on my face

Int bikin brilliant?

oooofffffff....... I'm sorry to hear that Deserter. I lost my dad in my early 20's, and it's still the hardest time of my life 20 years later. Just get through one day at a time.

Apologies for the long copy/paste below - it's from the black-dog institute's page on dealing with Covid19 (link), and it really helped to have it spelled out in pleasingly direct terms:

1. Channel your anxious energy into action: get informed, plan, and prepare
We often feel anxious when events feel out of our control, and when we think we don’t have the capacity, skills or ability to cope. Anxiety tricks us into thinking about the worst-case scenarios in vivid and frightening detail.

Instead of worrying, try your best to focus on what’s under your control. Equip yourself with the facts about COVID-19 from trusted sources. Follow government advice and make a plan about what you and your family will do if you need to be in isolation, or quarantine.

2. Limit or avoid unhelpful media and misinformation
Being exposed to constant, alarming, anxiety-inducing stories convinces us that there is something to panic about, and further perpetuates myths, rumours, misinformation, uncertainty and anxiety. The more we read and hear about it, the more frightening it becomes, and the less chance we have to distract ourselves and do things that can take our minds off it.

Although it might be tempting to keep informed, or difficult to escape, limiting your exposure to media, news, and social media about coronavirus will help quell the panic.

3. Cut down or stop the behaviours that are fuelling your anxiety
There are certain actions, when performed frequently, that can fuel anxiety about health, and germ-phobia. Focusing too much on bodily symptoms, and relying on “Dr Google”, can consume one with anxious thoughts and panic.

Being aware of these behaviours, understanding how they’re making you feel, and replacing them with more helpful coping strategies can alleviate disproportionate feelings of anxiety.

4. Stay focused on the here and now, taking each day step by step
Try to focus on the here and now- not the past and not the future. Live in the moment and take one day at a time.

5. Be aware of negative thoughts and don’t give them too much power
Just because we’re thinking something, doesn’t always mean it’s true. When you notice yourself worrying a lot, take a step back, and try to let worries pass by without focussing on them too much.

6. Look after your body
Get enough sleep, exercise, eat well, avoid smoking, excessive alcohol and drugs. This will help protect your mental health and immune system.

7. Stay connected with others
It can make a huge difference when we share our worries with others, and connect with other people who are supportive. Try to stay connected to supportive people in your life so you feel less isolated and lonely. You might need try new ways of connecting that you haven’t before.

8. Help other people, be kind, and compassionate
When we help other people, it can also make us feel better. We are all in this together so let’s try our best to be kind and compassionate to each other.

9. Take a breath
When you feel overwhelmed take a few slow, deep breaths to help you calm down. If there are other things that help you relax (e.g., a walk or listening to music) you could try these too.

10. If you’re feeling like you’re not coping, get professional advice
It’s ok to ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, seek professional support. Psychological therapies can be done online, or remotely via phone or videoconferencing, and are an excellent option if you’re in self-isolation, or worried about going to a clinic.

Thanks for all these lovely replies guys. It's lifted my spirits enormously.
Off out now for a run in the wild sounding weather. Bet I have the trails to myself seeing as its pitch black, raining and howling.
Bliss!

Great thread intolerance of other people is the thing I would love to see changed in the world.
Great thread needs to be stuck to the top, random acts of kindness usually make you smile whether giving or receiving, but just to read about someone else’s moment is nice in the current times. Keep it up!

"rollindoughnut Free Member
Man I was the worst about ebikes. Then I spent an hour in Friston forest with a guy who’d suffered a knee problem. He showed me a bunch of awesome trails and encouraged me to try beat him up the climbs. Felt my prejudice dissolve in the face of actual human contact.

Posted 10 hours ago"

I've ridden in Friston Forest a few times. A group of us went together once, arrived in high spirits, parked in a pub carpark in Polegate and set of towards the first climb. No more than 100m into the ride my mate pulled a wheelie, overcooked it and landed on his tailbone. Half way up the first climb he called it a day and went back to wait for us in the pub.

Went out for a maiden ride on my new ‘gravel/adventure’ bike with Scotroutes.

A friend who dreamt up a nice route taking into account that a) its a new and unfamiliar bike, b) I’m not the fittest and c) a good mix of surfaces to see how the bike feels.

Got a wide, slow pass on the road by someone in a huuuuge Range Rover thing (they were right over on the other verge).

Dog walkers controlled their dogs (we slowed way down and thanked them back).

At the speyside railway line we could hear a (steam) train coming, Scotroutes stopped to set up a photo. Driver gave us a toot, lots of people waving.

Last dog walker (who we had passed before but my front wheel loosened off) pulled off on a climb to let us by. I thanked her, she said ‘you made that climb look easy’ (I was breathing out my arse!).

And we had a great cafe stop at Nethy Bridge (distinctly garlicky hummus, ❤️).

Makes it difficult to be a right miserable bastard... sometimes... 🤣

A non-judgemental thread...

Perfect, because I spent the best part of a day (dodging the weather) to clean my Wife's car.

I've been using it for the last 4.5 years or so as my commute car, because it was the more economical option. But I obviously put quite a few miles on it and it was looking tired.

Had the wheels refurbed and when they came back I gave it a full wash, clay bar, polish and wax.
It's not perfect, but 10x better than it was.

Long walk with the pup yesterday around lunchtime. The local hotspot was pleasingly under-crowded and everyone with dogs stopped for a chat or put their dog on a lead. (Pup has no recall so he's on lead walks only).

The rain held off too though it was a bit breezy and social distancing was observed by everyone. We both had an afternoon nap to celebrate this positive experience.

@deserter sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a month ago, if you want to talk to someone who knows what you're going through send me a PM.

I like the idea of this thread. Let's keep it going through winter.

I'm worried for the mental health and wellbeing of several of my friends and my Mum and Aunt this winter and as I'm away in Portugal until the end of March I feel rather guilty and useless. I will message and phone regularly but I'm scared to share photos and updates of my trip as I now feel it will be sickening to those stuck in lockdown with horrible weather.

Let's hope we get some cold, frosty mornings soon. We've had to endure a lot of rain and mud over last winter and this autumn. A few rides over crackling ground would be mint.
Forecast looks vaguely promising.

Love this thread, thanks rollindoughnut.

Sorry to hear about those who have lost loved ones, or who are in difficult circumstances.

but I’m scared to share photos and updates of my trip as I now feel it will be sickening to those stuck in lockdown with horrible weather.

But ... maybe it will lift their spirits to see photos of someone they care about enjoying a nice environment. 🙂

I don't think anyone should feel guilty about having a bit of good weather (or a bit of luck with anything in life really) and sharing the experience.

The world can be a tough place. Most of us take strain at some point. If I post a pic showing dry dusty trails here in November I'm not doing it to "one-up" anyone or to rub it in how bad the weather is back in the UK. We have our various problems over here too, believe me, even when the sun is shining!

A nice positive, uplifting thread gets a thumbs up from me. That's really what I try to make our "Buying & renovating in the Pyrenees" thread all about. Light hearted & positive....

Cheers guys...well I will get spamming fb with pictures of beaches and sunshine asap 😁

I went for a run in the woods in the rain on Saturday, my knees didnt implode and I cam across a small child refusing to go the way his mum wanted him to. I ran round him in circles telling him I was a Halloween pumpkin till he laughed and rejoined his laughing mum. Then tickled Tilly the border terrier for an hour who alternated between drooling, farting and dog grinning. Job done.

"Outside" is funny, isn't it.

We went for a walk last weekend down a local greenway. It was pretty busy - dog walkers, kids on bikes, families getting away from it all just like everyone else, the usual fare. Walking along, most people you meet give you a nod or a smile or a cheery 'afternoon!' But you'd never do that walking down the high street unless you were Mick Dundee.

Got a wide, slow pass on the road by someone in a huuuuge Range Rover thing (they were right over on the other verge).

I genuinely get a big smile on my face when this happens - when drivers deliberately give you a ton of space, or (one that happened to me recently) point out when you're stopped at the traffic lights that they're going to be cutting across the cycle lane, so do you mind giving them a few seconds to get across. It's validation that not all people are w*nkers and gives a totally outsized buzz of joy.

Thanks for cut and pasting that @batfink

I've had a day filled with crazy anxiety (something I used to suffer with and which has intermittently re-surfaced during COVID) so its good to read something like that and re-affirm what I already know.

Had a ride this afternoon which included a gravel road climb up to a remote village. Just me, the sunshine and the gravel 🙂

This is thread of a few days I've had recently. I work a 4 day week, was meant to go back to 5 when my daughter started school there in August. But Mondays have become my decompress days (it's a w*nky term, until you actually have that feeling). Every other day is either work stress or sharing the busy weekend space with people I'd rather not be around (as in, the range rover drivers, the people texting at the wheel, the people too precious to walk any further than they must to the shop etc). On a Monday, I go out whatever the weather and say hello to everyone. There is no stress, no rush, no bustle. Just people out because they can, want to be, have to be. And I come back.... Decompressed. Is it worth 20% of my salary? Hell yeah. For now.

I got asked to quote for some vehicle graphics last week, turns out that it was for a suicide charity response car. They park up in an area near me at high risk times and help if they are needed And look out for people who may need a kind chat. It struck a chord with me. The guy was quite moved when I told him not to worry about his budget, we won’t be charging. It’s nice to be nice, eh.

On a Monday, I go out whatever the weather and say hello to everyone. There is no stress, no rush, no bustle. Just people out because they can, want to be, have to be. And I come back…. Decompressed. Is it worth 20% of my salary? Hell yeah. For now.

Mine used to be Mondays, will soon be Fridays. If you can afford it, do it.

Well done TheDTs 👍

Top man TheDTs.

Oh TheDTs, thats the stuff

Like many I’ve struggled a bit with lockdown and the associated fallout. Things that should have happened didn’t and things that shouldn’t have did. Both my wife and I turned 50 this year, it was also our 25th Wedding Anniversary, very low key celebrations and a trip to Rome that didn’t happen. Our eldest son graduated from uni which was a massive achievement considering how difficult he found leaving home. Again no formal graduation like many in his year. He had to leave with 24 hours notice and come home right in the middle of his final work piece. Then my mum suffered a stroke and spent 3 weeks in hospital. On discharge she’s now relying on my wife and I for care, on top of us working and caring for our Autistic son.

That sounds very woe is me, but we are very fortunate to be in the position we are in compared to a lot of others. It’s just all happened in one hit.

Now back to the positives. Said Boy1 has been freelancing since mid September doing what he set out to do, he’s a modelmaker, and has just landed 7 weeks work at a big studio in London. The industry has been almost at standstill since March.

One of my best mates has just gone full “Facebook Relationship” with a lass he met before lockdown in March. He’s one of the nicest blokes you’ll meet and he deserves a bit of happiness. He has Lupus which he’s struggled with for nearly 20 years, was diagnosed whilst travelling when in Australia. He’s had a tough time with his health, had to shield until a few weeks ago, he’s just about to moved in with his lass. Had a beer with him for the first time this year on Friday. He’s properly happy.

Bike stuff. I bought a very tatty Charge Plug frame and forks about 2 years ago. I’ve made a project out of to see how low cost I can build it up with second hand quality parts. I only need brake cables now so it went to the powder coaters two weeks ago. I phoned to see how it was getting in on Monday, I had a text back to say he’ll have it done by Friday. He was shutdown all through the first lockdown because he couldn’t get any powder. He knows I’ve been waiting for it so will make sure it’s done. This has cheered me up no end.

Our daughter is a scientist working for a large pharmaceutical in Cambridge, she's helping to try and defeat this virus I'm really proud of her but I'm worried it's taking a toll on her health.
She's often still at work late at night an unsung hero in my eyes.
We're a working class family, my daughter was only the second pupil to go to university from her Ofsted condemned school, she never had any private tuition and her parents are as thick as bricks, she's my Superhero and she might just save the World. (Probably not but a man can dream) 😊

@twinw4all Give your brilliant daughter my thanks for her efforts and a hug (when it's allowed again).

Thanks Sandwich, much appreciated. 👍🙂
Hugging may be a step too far 🤣

Is this ok in the thread guys?

Remember all the koalas affected by those horrific bush fires in Oz?

Some are being released back into the wild over there now after being nursed back to health.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-australia-54786796