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Until a few minutes ago, at around 00.30am I didn't know.
However, tonight I am over my lads looking after my 1 and 5 year old grandkids.
I'm sleeping on the couch but needed to get up for the somewhat regular midnight pee and managed to kick said 1 year old's toy "car wheel simulator" with all its associated car horn, engine revs and even siren noise buttons.
I literally froze then tried to remember where the bloody fake ignition key is on its "dashboard" and found it after about 5 seconds. The longest 5 seconds of my life.
Sure enough, after standing dead still to see if if woken the 1 year old up... I had. I heard a little cough then a bit of a grizzle then full on waaaaaahhhh! Waaahhhhh! Bugger!
Went upstairs and picked him up from his cot and after his initial body planking tactic to break free he eventually closed his eyes as he finally submitted to my awsomz 56 yo core poweeeeerrrr... (assisted by resting my back against the cot as he is a worthy competitor).
A few minutes later I put him back in his cot with all the caution afforded to an unexploded WWII bomb.
He's what I call a hair trigger sleeper so I might not be out of the woods yet.
Still have tinnitus and raised heart rate from the initial toy detonation too.
For a few seconds there I was expecting it to be the scream from standing on a Lego brick, or an upturned 3-pin plug.
Glad I was wrong, and no actual physical pain was involved. 🙃
this is definitely up there also 😉
I too expected lego content.
Noisiest thing?
that’ll be Osmium.
its the heaviest of all the metals😂😂
Noisiest thing is our new puppy barking sometime between 3.45-4.45 every morning since we got her 15 nights ago. Fast asleep to upright and clothed in a heartbeat. She is so loud and our neighbours now hate us 🙁
Lego is a regular night-time hazard in our house but the latest thing was really nasty... you know when the wheels fall out of a Matchbox/Corgi/Hot Wheels car, the wheels tend to slide together at one end of the axle and then it stands on end like this:
My wife stood on one of those the other day, and had to dig it out from deep in her foot 😫
For a few seconds there I was expecting it to be the scream from standing on a Lego brick, or an upturned 3-pin plug.
Just imagine how loud it would be if you stood on a 3 pin plug made out of Lego
A northern lass after too many 'cheeky' proseccos.
Next doors cat when he wants to come back in at 3am is very loud, and very, very insistent
The air conditioning unit outside our room at the Copthorne Merry Hill last night
Copthorne Merry Hill
Why in this world did you want to stay there? On topic were my shouts at the telly when they interviewed the Brexity types from Dudley.
The neighbours cocks did pretty well till I told him that if he didn't eat it I would, he ate it.
Bin men? Or maybe our milkman's float at 3am. Perhaps I'm a light sleeper.
Copthorne Merry Hill
Why in this world did you want to stay there? On topic were my shouts at the telly when they interviewed the Brexity types from Dudley.
The neighbours cocks did pretty well till I told him that if he didn't eat it I would, he ate it.
We needed a room between 11pm Saturday and 8am Sunday, and there was a deal on. Now we know why.
(Tries to ignore cheap joke about eating neighbours cock)
Emptying the bottle recycling bins outside my hotel room in Cardiff at 3 in the morning. Happened pretty much every other day for months when I was working down there.
Having seen both Motorhead and Babymetal live, I can confirm that the loudest thing I've experienced is a coach full of primary school children on a school trip.
You're all wrong.
Imagine, if you will, 36 scouts, in teams of six, with four chairs per team. Each team has to get across the length of an echoey scout hut, without touching the floor, by standing on the chairs.
I had to go outside, I thought my head was going to implode.
A posse of roadies freewheeling down what was a peaceful hill. Buy a quieter freehub, you're drowning the near critical state of my uphill gasping for air FFS
Think it might be next door's swimming pool pump...
New wine bars or " beer taps" opened in premises which were once sweet shops, nailbars or hairdressers coz the rates are cheap. The walls are thin the floors are flimsy and it's open plan with far too many tables crammed into too small a place.
You only need someone who's slightly deaf or who's had one drink too many in there for everyone to start talking louder and louder and screechier and screechier.......
Is it Channel 4 adverts.... when they up the volume output level from the thing you were comfortably watching? I hit mute every single time.
maybe our milkman's float at 3am
the time machine I used to go back to the era of milk floats was pretty loud
the time machine I used to go back to the era of milk floats was pretty loud
No time machine needed here, he arrives 3 times a week with lovely fresh stuff to place on the doorstep.
If we are using time machines, the VW Derby I owned some time in the early 90s.
The exhaust pipe had a hole and I didn't have funds for a new one at the time. I tried a bodge repair with a tin can, repair paste and Jubilee clips, but driving home late one night a mile or so from my house the repair must have shaken loose and suddenly I was driving something akin to an atom bomb firing machine gun.
As the car limped home to my sleepy village in the early hours it seemed to me that every house light was turning on as I drove past (due to people being awoken by what they thought was the heralding of the apocalypse). Sorry old neighbours.
The primary school playground opposite my house.
Until you've heard 400 kids having a screaming competition 8 metres away from your front room window, you've really not lived
I measured the distance on google maps. It's actually 11 metres
"The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all".
And that's a fact.
The neighbours cocks did pretty well till I told him that if he didn't eat it I would, he ate it.
You lived next door to John Holmes?
maybe our milkman's float at 3am
the time machine I used to go back to the era of milk floats was pretty loud
Is that milk floats or the glass bottles?
Milk floats were run on batteries during my youth, although my aging neighbours' switched to a 3am diesel Transit delivery until a few years ago. That was nice!
If we're doing exhaust pipes, it's kids on teeny motorbikes with the silencers removed or something, that seems to be a new fashion near us. Up and down our road and through the estates at the back in a pack of about a dozen, it's like living in the pit lane of Thruxton during a round of BSB.
Except BSB isn't run after 10pm at night until the early hours.
Not noisy but equally panic inducing when you don't see it coming is the kid on a Sauron or equivalent doing a silent 50-odd mph up our 30mph with petitions for 20 due to 2 schools road. In fairness, the speed humps make mini tabletops for him and he can get a certain amount of stylish air which is great if you see him coming, if not the involuntary yelp of me shitting myself may get an honourable mention on this thread.
I'll posit that my wife and the bathroom door, late at night, can make a good claim to be the noisiest thing in my universe. She first pulls it closed with a slam, and later, just as I've drifted back off to sleep after that, opens the spring-loaded handle which she then lets go of with a loud bang. The noise obviously being amplified by the door.
(This should probably be in the Disproportionately Cross thread, but heyho)
Milk floats were run on batteries during my youth,
My milkman's still does.
the time machine I used to go back to the era of milk floats was pretty loud
When he says 'milk float' he means 'elderly and rattly Mercedes Vito' if our milkman is anything to go by