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I'll start.
When I was a kid we were so poor that all we would get for Christmas would be a haircut on Christmas morning. Then we would sit down for turkey with all the trimmings.
Over to STW....!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Here, can you smell carrots?
Popped up to the attic to get the Christmas lights and found a present we forgot to give the kids last year.
They would have loved that puppy.
Brexit ?
😜🤣🤷♂️
We were fed up with the kids searching the house and finding all their Christmas presents.
Some friends told us to lock them in the attic.
They complained about it for hours. In the end, we had to let them out again.
Mary and Joseph – now they had a stable relationship.
This is a very confusing time of year for dyslexic devil worshippers.
Great news for insomniacs.
Only two more sleeps till Christmas.
This is a very confusing time of year for dyslexic devil worshippers.
I was pretty much gonna post this one! As it's about my only one, I shall continue...
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa......
How do you recognise a Christmas tree from House of Fraser? Half the branches have gone.
What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?
Twerky
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsillitis.
How does Santa prefer his pizza?
Deep pan, Crisp and even.
How do you track down Will Smith in the snow.
Look for the fresh prints.
Roman centurion walks into an inn in Bethlehem, holds up two fingers and says five flagons of wine please..............
He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you are getting this Christmas.
Luke Skywalker: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents!
When do classical composers buy their presents?
During late night Chopin...
We were so poor that one year my parents gave me an empty shoebox and told me it was an Action Man Deserter
Did you here about the policeman who thought he'd found a mass grave of snowmen? Turned out to be a carrot field.
Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
https://ico.org.uk/about-the-ico/news-and-events/blog-sleigh-ing-the-christmas-gdpr-myths