The Apprentice 2024
 

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The Apprentice 2024

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Here we go then , strap yourselves in as they present this years wallopers 😎


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:03 pm
sirromj, binners, crazy-legs and 3 people reacted
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Let the celebration of bell-endery and absence of self-awareness commence


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:07 pm
mattyfez, sirromj, mattyfez and 1 people reacted
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Not sure I can watch this year.


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:09 pm
TedC and TedC reacted
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Cawdor Castle!
Nice place - shame about the bellends within it.


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:09 pm
 Pook
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It'd be far better if they actually made it a real thing. Give them the phones. The internet. Make them work for Surralan's £37 investment.

It's just panto now.


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:14 pm
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It’s just panto now.

It always has been, but it’s great watching the idiots who think they’re Masters of the Universe, when they are actually Widow T****ey


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:27 pm
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So cringe.
I can really only watch the first bit where they're given the task and the last bit where the recriminations and arguments commence.

The middle bit of actually doing it is just too embarrassing to cope with. People cannot be that stupid, surely?


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:32 pm
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Must be time again


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 9:33 pm
sop, mattyfez, sirromj and 5 people reacted
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Presumably the clients know who is providing their day out? Why would you?    Crumble mix for fish batter?


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 10:01 pm
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I think I'll just read the 'executive summaries' on here.

Far too much cringe for me!


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 10:04 pm
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The microwave they mistook for an oven. Oh my.


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 10:51 pm
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Dear god! Even by usual standards, what a collection of utter ****-wits

Imagine the mentality that sees the word ‘corporate away day’… 3 of the most desperately depressing words in the English language and decided to make it alcohol free?


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 11:05 pm
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It’s just panto now.

It’s definitely a different programme to when it started. That Mitchell and Webb sketch sums it up nicely.

Kind of sums up where the programme has gone, when the guy who’s “business plan” was to run an events company , spectacularly fails an events company task and isn’t sacked. He was kept in, as he had more “entertainment value” rather than the nice , but ultimately boring guy who got fired.


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 11:07 pm
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To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands


 
Posted : 01/02/2024 11:30 pm
tillydog, razorrazoo, tillydog and 1 people reacted
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To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands

Co founder of the Raisthorpe Distillery no less.
I see mummy and daddy have made him a director of their various companies. Tax efficiency? 😉

Interesting to see they offer corporate days out at their Manor. Let’s hope he’s not in charge of catering 😂


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 12:01 am
binners and binners reacted
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To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands

It was at that point that I asked my wife if this was the 'special needs' edition.

The other howler was the fekwhit who thought that a 52% refund on £2400 sales was £300 and burst into applause because he thought he'd won.

I know that the contestants are largely self selecting, but how the hell did we end up with so many young people who are utterly clueless, yet think that they're something special?


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 1:25 am
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The microwave they mistook for an oven. Oh my.

In the interest of balance, it might have been a combi microwave, so 'technicaly' also an oven.

Kind of.

I'm clutching at straws here though!


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 3:12 am
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People really still watch it ?


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 7:41 am
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Started watching for a laugh, but then I couldn't bear it, so turned it off just after they'd started in the task. Just too painful 🤣


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:01 am
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Let’s hope he’s not in charge of catering 😂

That will be Mr Stevens....


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:18 am
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People really still watch it ?

No, stopped a couple of years ago, it’s nothing more than playground style pointing and laughing at ****less people.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:19 am
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Started watching for a laugh, but then I couldn’t bear it, so turned it off just after they’d started in the task. Just too painful 🤣

Must admit I watched it - it's like riding past a steamed up car in a secluded car park - you know you shouldn't look but you can't help it! 🙂

The food bits are cringeworthy though and should be sacked off. What's the point in them pitching to buy in food at £40/per head only for them to have to cook it themselves? Be lucky if the ingredients cost £100 in total.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:27 am
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The show is the biggest cringe of crimgedom - headed by an absolute tosspot. Massively outdated and as such boring format. As such, I won't be watching.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:30 am
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The other howler was the fekwhit who thought that a 52% refund on £2400 sales was £300 and burst into applause because he thought he’d won.

I laughed at that bit. I know its not a shock but the whole thing is so contrived. What I don't get is why everyone was paying £40 etc a head for the [b]ingredients[/b] to make fish cakes and a tiny apple crumble? And if you're too thick to read the recipe for a chocolate brownie then I can't see many people willing to chuck you quarter of a million squid.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 8:51 am
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What I don’t get is why everyone was paying £40 etc a head for the ingredients to make fish cakes and a tiny apple crumble?

When they could just go to the pub and pay almost 50% less!

And how did the "clients" know that it was crumble and not breadcrumbs or that the food had been microwaved?

I assume the clients are all wannabe actors and they're told everything beforehand.

I actually wanted to watch it last night for some reason but it's total shite.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 9:15 am
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I couldnt have that on in the house i'm afraid. Do any of you that watch this actually work in an office? I do and it would just be like reliving the very worst aspects of a working day in my leisure time. No chance.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 9:16 am
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I assume the clients are all wannabe actors and they’re told everything beforehand.

Quite a few series ago there was some article on these corporate groups and it appeared they were actually genuine. Basically the show pitches to corporates - same way they rope in all those "industry experts and buyers" to sit there and listen to the cringe pitches from the candidates. Can't remember if the show paid for it and the negotiation thing was all make believe it or what.

One of the issues it raised was those cases where they're running around random town negotiating to buy various tat or persuade members of the public to come on whatever horrific task they're ****ing up this time but the production crew have to go to each shop/person in advance, sign agreements about being on TV etc.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 9:30 am
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I work in an office, and no-one is that bad. We do have one or two dippy people, but not on this scale. It's a guilty pleasure - love shouting at the telly on a Thursday evening.  I'm usually pottering about when it's on !


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 9:51 am
tillydog and tillydog reacted
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Really enjoying the people who have come on to The Apprentice 2024 thread to tell us they are not going to watch it!

Seems we have a right bunch this series!


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 10:38 am
tillydog, binners, tillydog and 1 people reacted
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And how did the “clients” know that it was crumble and not breadcrumbs

Quite a fundamental difference.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 10:42 am
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It still humours me that the 'Apprentices' seem to believe they have to dress as estate agents to be taken seriously in business (I know that they are probably required to do this by the production team to fulfil a vision of a 'business-person').

At the end of the day it's a TV show, and as with all 'reality' TV shows there is very little which is actually 'reality' (I know a fair few people that work in (what they call) 'Flumpf' TV).


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 10:49 am
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The food bits are cringeworthy though and should be sacked off. What’s the point in them pitching to buy in food at £40/per head only for them to have to cook it themselves? Be lucky if the ingredients cost £100 in total.

He was quoting £60 a head for Toad in the Hole wasn't he ?


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 11:24 am
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It still humours me that the ‘Apprentices’ seem to believe they have to dress as estate agents to be taken seriously in business (I know that they are probably required to do this by the production team to fulfil a vision of a ‘business-person’).

A friend of a friend was on it, about 6/7 years ago. He's never dressed smartly in his life apparently, but was told to get out and buy some suits and what-not. I'd also add that, if shopping in your average small town high street, it's quite difficult not to dress like a 22 year old estate agent. 😀


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 12:10 pm
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He was quoting £60 a head for Toad in the Hole wasn’t he ?

That's the point at which I'd have sent the sub-team out to the local supermarket to buy a load of ingredients (or even ready meals) and saved several hundred quid!

And for £60/head, I'd be expecting Michelin star toad in the hole fed to me by Gordon Ramsey himself.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 12:47 pm
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I can’t believe enough people still watch this bellendery to make another series viable


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 12:59 pm
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Only watched this episode as it featured some of my favourite local places.

The abseiling bit took place on a crag overlooking Loch Duntelchaig where I've been canoe camping many a time with my son.

I'm going to try and banish the bell-endery on display in this episode from my mind so that future trips aren't tarnished.


 
Posted : 02/02/2024 1:08 pm
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OMG....
Watched last nights episode as it was filmed in Jersey (Mrs is from there).
Are these guys genuinely thick or is it just edited that way?
Only one of them knew what a shucked oyster was, no one else could pronounce "shucked" and ended up asking for "chucked", "sucked" and more oddly "sheckeled" oysters.....
Their powers of negotiation/bargaining were laughable....
Oh and one reported their group was on their way to "St Hee-lee-err"


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 10:15 am
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I watched in disbelief at the contrived negotiations last night. As if any retailer would give *any* discount in real life.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 10:20 am
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It was the fact they had to get a measuring tape out to visualise 14mm, zero real life skills.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 2:18 pm
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Flo and Will.I.Am will be in the final 2. 🙂


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 2:24 pm
fatmax and fatmax reacted
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Thought it was 16mm 🙂


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 2:27 pm
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I can’t believe neither team managed to get Jersey Royal spuds. They could literally have wandered into the nearest Spar shop. The whole place must be awash with the bloody things

”I’m a born winner”

”well you’ve been given 4 tasks and you’ve lost every one”

brilliant! 😂


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 9:14 pm
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Just in case anyone is still watching this, it's the interview round tonight which is more entertaining than the usual "here's a task, watch them fail at it".

I've kind of dipped in and out of it - I can't watch the actual task, it's too cringe for me. But the interview bit is more amusing, even if it is all staged.


 
Posted : 11/04/2024 6:02 pm
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I can’t remember a time when they had a more clueless bunch across the board. I’ve become increasingly disenchanted with it in the last few years and likely would have given up by now if Mrs M wasn’t as interested.
There’s 2 left I wouldn’t rate as complete idiots, but I bet something horrible comes out if their interviews - either crazy unworkable business plans, or a big skeleton in their CV closet.
On the business plan, why on earth isn’t this a criteria to make it on to the show?  In previous years, some people have been immediately rejected once their ‘business plan’ was established to be virtually non-existent or so speculative as to be worthless, meaning being on the show till that stage was a complete waste of time


 
Posted : 11/04/2024 6:24 pm
Bregante and Bregante reacted
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and don’t get me started on the interviewers themselves….!


 
Posted : 11/04/2024 6:25 pm
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The wife watches it. I gave up years back due to the cringe. But I do like the interview episode, so will tune in for that. Tonight?


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 11:21 am
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Surely a half decent business plan is an essential criteria for being allowed on the show. At least 2 of them anyway so the rest can be ridiculed as they are got rid of during the series


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 11:36 am
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They only need 4 or 5 with decent business plans - the rest are there for comedy value. The ones with half-sensible plans will have been marked from the start.

Pie Man Pie had to have a decent plan or he'd have been booted out ages ago. Even if his business has lost money in the last year or two he still said they were sat on £700k in the bank. That's a sound starting point for anyones investment - seems like he just needs some direction as it's hard to do things differently when you're in a family business set in its ways.

Flo was disappointing - all shiny business plan, but over ambitious. And why does S'Alan need another recruitment company?


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 11:43 am
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I don't get why Turkish Teeth man got to change his whole business plan at the very last minute (other than it is staged).

And the remaining woman – she has a gym in Harrogate. I live in Harrogate. I have never heard of her gym in Harrogate. No wonder she is struggling for numbers.


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 12:07 pm
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Fatmax - last night, but you’ll get it on iPlayer

Johndoh - I’m sure they wanted Turkish Teeth Man to change his business plan so Sir Alan could get his mitts on 50% of the existing profitable part of his business.  You could see TTM thinking, “hmm give up 50% of that for £250k?  Nah, don’t think so”


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 1:52 pm
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*I’m sure they wanted Turkish Teeth Man to change his business plan so Sir Alan could get his mitts on 50% of the existing profitable part of his business. *

Yeah I get that, it just seemed weird that they swerved at the last minute – I haven't seen that before (but I haven't watched it all that much on the last few years).


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 2:01 pm
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On the business plan, why on earth isn’t this a criteria to make it on to the show?  In previous years, some people have been immediately rejected once their ‘business plan’ was established to be virtually non-existent or so speculative as to be worthless, meaning being on the show till that stage was a complete waste of time

I do remember a particular contestant from a few years ago whose business plan amounted to 20 pages of logo designs, no doubt that the producers knew exactly that from the outset but the contestant still made the final 5.

Like with all (ahem) 'reality' shows the end result is not really what matters, it's about getting the right mix of people to entertain the target audience.  I know people who work on well know reality shows, if you think the majority of the cast are unknowns picked off the back of an interesting application, then you'd be wrong.


 
Posted : 12/04/2024 3:53 pm
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Are we all ready for the final?!?

Who do we think is going to win, and why will it be the pie guy giving away half of £700k for the bargain price of just £250k?


 
Posted : 18/04/2024 9:03 pm
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Like picking a football team at school 🙄


 
Posted : 18/04/2024 9:07 pm
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OMG!


 
Posted : 18/04/2024 10:00 pm
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Rich You need to get out more, those 3 kids of yours are sapping your life away!
Oh well never mind you can always console yourself with LEGO 😉


 
Posted : 18/04/2024 11:34 pm
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That £250k will last about 2 months setting up a new gym!! 🤣

The money needs to be higher now, and surely S'Alan is getting paid more than that for the show. So it's basically the BBC handing the money out.


 
Posted : 19/04/2024 9:36 am

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