[Closed] That’s not my name.

Some people call me the gangster of love.

Witt woo!

Alright Dave.

I started calling a close friend ‘Ken’ a few years back, due to some long-forgotten private joke. Problem is I now can’t stop. His real name ‘Oliver’ seems so weird and incongruous that I now just call him ‘mate’ as a way to avoid calling him ‘Ken’ which is now odd for him I imagine.

Cheers,

Ted

Whilst working as a prison officer I was called names most of you haven’t heard. The cons weren’t too bad, but other staff could be on a different level. 😂

There was a shitty kid in school called Steven, however when he arrived in school as a new kid it was during the 'if you see Sid, tell him' British Gas privatisation ad campaign. So when asked what his name was he said 'Sid'. The name stuck to the point that very few people, kids or staff, knew that wasn't actually his name.

I get called Max frequently, I mean, I could understand them hearing that over the phone or a zoom with brief intros...

But if you were to take a gamble on Max or Matt, Matt would probably be a safer bet!

My name is apparently rude or inappropriate in the far east. I got called Mr Huge a lot.

I'm not even that fat.

My name is apparently rude or inappropriate in the far east. I got called Mr Huge a lot.

I’m not even that fat.

Maybe they were not refering to the girth of your stomach, if you know what I mean 😉

I have a two name first name, no middle name.

JP?

No one in any of the offices, in earshot, thinks it sounds like I’m saying Paul. I’ve made a recording of me answering the phone, at no point does it sound like I’m saying Paul.

Whenever I have to give my phone number to someone, over the phone, they frequently hear the 'two' as a 'three'

Many moons ago a was getting some printing work done and had a company quoting. My name is pretty common in Scotland where I live but really quite uncommon sound of the border where I grew up. So this guy quoting, at this English printing company,... he had the same name and he was remarking on how rare he gets to speak to anyone else with the same name. And we had a conversation as to the comparative rareness / commonness north and south and why I'm not sure why I was given the name as I have no real Scottish ancestry and it was the same for him. Pleasant banter. Anyway he tells me he'll call back in a few minutes with a price.

five minutes later... phone rings, I answer, same guy "can I speak to Paul please?"

From birth my official and used first name has been Jay. You wouldn’t think that such a short name would proved so troublesome.

I’ve been called Jamie, Jason, James, Jeremy and Jerry. When some people realise that I am half Mauritian-asian, they then ask if ‘Jay’ is short for something. I’ve been called Jaspal, Jayshree, Jasvinder, Javinder, Jatinder. None of those have been people none of these have been from people with any Indian asian origin.

My surname is Brown. In a Northern Ireland accent. It has invariably* been heard as 'Brian' by English people for the last thirty years.

*well, four in five times

My name isn't Kryton.

I am invariably called Mike after introducing myself as Mark. It is a source of constant hilarity to my daughter.

I have a two name first name, no middle name.

JP?

no 🙂

Germans always answer the phone with their family name. As a non native speaker it's really hard to catch that name if it's the first utterance they make down the phone line and then you don't want to then ask them again for their name later in the conversation. I always assumed it was just me, but German friends and Colleagues say they have the same problems!

I have a very common name and share it with someone at work in a different department. I get a lot of his emails as his is the same with a 1 at the end. He's an IT tech so I have a bit of fun by replying "have you turned it off and on again?" Or "maybe it needs a new flux capacitor"

I have a two name first name,

Blind Lemon ?

You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy
You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy
You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray
You may call me anything but no matter what you say
Still, you're gonna have to serve somebody...

My biking friends call me The Don, after an insult that was aimed at me on this site.

I can also answer to my real name. I'm bilingual, me.

I don't tend to have issues with my first name, however my surname is another matter.
I can stand at a reception desk and spell it out slowly and they type it in how they think it should be spelt.

Both the DVLA and my local council have suggested I spelt my name wrong.
Used to be a massive pain in the arse when people used cheques.
It's not even a particularly difficult or long name, it's just people have their own Idea as to which letters to use.

maccruiskeen
Full Member
I have a two name first name,

Blind Lemon ?

Closer..

Dolce Red MC xxxxx

A lot of people call me George.

Love and hugs!

Some people call me the gangster of love.

Some people call me Maurice.

or Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy.

…and the pop-culture references just keep on coming! 👏🏻👍🏼

BTW, you can call me anything you like, just don’t call me late for lunch. 😎

I've been accused of being Helen. Its actually Allan, in baritone.

As an aside, I used to work with (and attend client meetings with) my colleagues Alan and Alun. Alun was about 5'6, I'm 5'10 and Alan was 6'3". We would make sure to enter in height order and introduce each as we stepped through the door. Never got a name wrong then!

I remember in a bar on the first night at Uni everybody sharing what their school nicknames were. One of the girls tried to tell us that her nickname was Vacant (it made a lot of sense). But we heard Bacon and so it remained.

Rarely does anyone get my names right, first or last. I automatically spell them out. When i was a kid when i'd get a mention in the sporting sections of the local rag it was quite funny seeing what they'd come up with.

What's annoying though is when people send me an email and spell it wrong, even though they've just put seen whole name in my email address!

I worked in a bar with a girl at university, no could remember her name on her first night so she got called Dave. It stuck for at least the next three years…

I have issues on the phone as I have an accent and the locals here are confused by it. So I get a lot random names. Weirdly in the UK people on the phone heard my name as "Malcolm". In fact now I think about it, it happened quite a lot. My favorite though was the girl in Starbucks who after thinking about the name I'd just told her opted to call me "Box", that common name.

I'm Mark, but on the phone I have to really pronounce MAAAAAAARK as Aussie's must hear "Mike" in my West Mids accent.

Either that or they call me Mork.

mattyfez
Free Member
My name is apparently rude or inappropriate in the far east. I got called Mr Huge a lot.

I’m not even that fat.

In Punjabi "muthi / muthu" means fat, I believe 😉

I’m Mark, but on the phone I have to really pronounce MAAAAAAARK as Aussie’s must hear “Mike” in my West Mids accent.

I was regularly called Jamie when i first moved here, because people thought I sounded like Jamie Oliver 🙁

Both the DVLA and my local council have suggested I spelt my name wrong.

This really makes me angry, it's just utter pig ignorance, I honestly can't think of anything more insulting...

I was regularly called Jamie when i first moved here, because people thought I sounded like Jamie Oliver 🙁

...scratch that.

My surname means being Dick is a bit viz comics fnar fnar, consequently I find it a bit odd when people get upset about their names being spelt or pronounced incorrectly 😆

I find it a bit odd when people get upset about their names being spelt or pronounced incorrectly

You mean besides the absolute ignorance?