[Closed] That’s not my name.

A lot of people call me George.

Yes.  I often get the same wrong name said back to me "John Mc Something" rather than "Jeremy surname".  In my case tho I can see where they are coming from sort of in that its the same number of syllables and the emphasis in the same place.  The name I get called is a much more common one

People have stopped calling me Kevin on the phone. Not sure why. Kelvin must be a less unusual name these days.

My name's Ben. It seems remarkable how many times people hear 'Dan'.

Percy.

or Chris. I get Chris a lot.

Dickhead usually

Maybe they're not saying Paul, even though that's what you hear? Makes you think...

Or maybe they are saying 'Hello, pal'

They call me Hell
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

The name I get called is a much more common one

Must resist…

Has happened to me when I've just started a new role. Calls usually from a sales company go like that.

My guess is that it's because the phone number is linked to an out of date contacts database. So when the caller wants to ring your company, he just selects your company's name. On his screen then appears the name of the contact at your company, someone who used to be called Paul.

Caller doesn't actually listen to your answer and just uses the name on screen. Because he's been taught on a sales course to use the client's name to engender a sense of familiarity, loyalty and empathy...

I get called Tim occasionally.

Slightly more galling when it’s by people who have to type my actual name to invite me to the meeting we’re having.

My surname is Bower. It has forever been set up on email, work IDs, new starter into pieces etc as Bowers.

Drives me mad...

My name’s Ben. It seems remarkable how many times people hear ‘Dan’.

Same here. Even more so as my business partner is Dan. Chaos ensues.

I've a customer who called me Paul for the best part of 6yrs, even though I and my wife corrected him after about 2yrs I gave up. Not until recently (last 6months) did he find out my real name.

I think Paul is just a default name for some people.

I used to get called Alan by one contact in an old job. My name is Adam. I never corrected him though, figured it could be to my benefit if he didn't like how I was doing things!

If people get my name wrong, they will always call me either Simon or Adrian.

My landlord at uni called me Steven for two years. After the first three or four times of saying "it's Simon", I gave up.

Teh telemarketers/scammers used to call me Mr Boyle.

Mr Boyle was the guy who previously owned the house and as far as im aware is dead.

Even saying sorry, he's dead doesnt seem to deter them from ringing back

Where I work, if they done know your name, you get called Jim.

when I was travelling through central America I would always get call Kebin, as they pronounce Vs as bs. Always made me chuckle tbh!

My surname is one letter out from a much more common word (although one that's far less commonly used as a surname). Sometimes someone will type in the common word in one system and it can cause no end of trouble. I started at one company and the on-boarding request to set me up on the many various IT systems went through a number of people, one of whom typed in my name wrong. The name formed part of the email, and that was a primary identifier. It' really really ballsed things up for about six months!

all the time, even people i know very well still do this, they then realise 5 mins into a conversation and apologise!

My names David, i get Richard (which i can understand becuase of surname - dont care about persec) but the odd one is Steven - not even remotely in my name anywhere..

of course all of us that get called the worng name could simply be down to the fact we are so insignificant and unliked that the caller cant be bothered..... <shrugs>

They call me Hell
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name

@tjagain you just ruined my shitposting! Too slow...

My surname gets a lot of weird and wonderful readbacks, what annoys me is when people correct the spelling I produce.

When I was a kid, my dad used to call people Mac or Jim.

E.g. in a busy car park "are there any spaces over that side Jim?"

Mind you this is the same fella who in response to a hotel waitress asking at breakfast:

"would you like grapefruit, cornflakes, Shreddies or muesli?"

Said "I'll just have some Kellogg's please love."

While on holiday for two weeks I once pretended my name was Paul.
My brother and sister asked "Why are those kids calling you Paul?" .
When I told them ,they played along with it,just not in front of our parents. 🙂

My first, middle and last names are all common first names so they all get used a lot of the time. If you add a 'S' to the end of my middle and last names they're also very common surnames. Any time I call a company or business they can use any combination at any time. Because of an error by the Halifax years ago I actually have a credit history in my name but listed as my surname, my first name then my middle name but with an S on the end.

Thankfully I find it all mildly amusing!

I used to work with a Mhairi.

"Can I speak to, um, Barry?"

I'm also aware of people who deliberately and repeatedly use incorrect names of those who have annoyed them.

Just saying...

LOL at Monketboy - this reminds me of the rather embarraassing time my neighbour corrected me -

i Get on quite well with one of my neighbours since i moved i moved in 5 years ago- he raced lawn mowers - brilliant. Somehow i'd got into my head his name was Joe, so this is what i called him everytime i spoke to him and borrowed the odd tool (he is a mechanic), and also christmas cards (clearly the xmas card we couldn't place hwo it was from was a slight lightbulb moment) to him and the missus. Until about 3 years after - he just as a passing comment said "you do know my names Pete"... i laughed, he laughed, i felt very awkward and blamed the fact my other neighbour was also called pete..

Some people call me the gangster of love.

In our office we all pick up the general phone number if it rings. Whenever one of the young guys in my office picks up the phone people always call him by my name, it doesn't happen with anyone else. I'm not sure if I sound like a 20 year old man or he sounds like a middle aged woman.

When I was a kid, my dad used to call people Mac or Jim.

Scottish?

I know Mac is a thing albeit not one you really hear. "Haw Jimmy" definitely is.

I am so pleased that you posted this, my name is also Tom and on the phone people always think I am called Paul! I don't know why but I am glad it's not just me.

My name is Paul, and I am occasionally (and mistakenly) called Phil.

I used to work with a Mhairi.

“Can I speak to, um, Barry?”

Just googled this and opened a can of worms to go with my lunch. Apparently Gaelic has different pronunciations for the different cases (nominative, dative etc like in German). So if you were speaking Gaelic it might be an M sound or a V sound, but I suppose that doesn't apply if you're speaking English? Or does it? Fascinating.

Anyway, as you were.

My name is Paul, and I am occasionally (and mistakenly) called Phil.

That you don’t get called Tom further adds to the mystery, TBH.

I have a pretty heavy Brummie accent despite living over half my life in Devon.

When asked for my name, I used to Answer 'I'm Iain'

To which I'd usually get the response -'Hi Oimian, could you help me with..............' 🙂

Now I just say 'Iain speaking' when I answer.

Just googled this and opened a can of worms to go with my lunch. Apparently Gaelic has different pronunciations for the different cases (nominative, dative etc like in German). So if you were speaking Gaelic it might be an M sound or a V sound, but I suppose that doesn’t apply if you’re speaking English? Or does it? Fascinating.

No idea about cases but Mhairi is pronounced as Vari (like Barry).

I am so pleased that you posted this, my name is also Tom and on the phone people always think I am called Paul! I don’t know why but I am glad it’s not just me.

Of all the posts on STW over the 10 years I’ve been here, none have made my day more than this one.

Also glad it’s not just me!

Cheers Paul.

I’ve no idea why but finding out that Moly’s real name is Ben has been a shattering experience for me. Please, no more breaking through the 4th wall for the rest of the day!

Tim (sometimes called Tom)

Matt = Mark apparently.

Even when they have an email from me, with my name as signature.

I don't mind people mishearing my name, but getting it wrong when you've got it written in my email signature is just wrong.

My daughters name is Sian. Think it took at least two birthdays before MiL stopped sending cards to Sean.

I have friends who call everyone Pal. Even people they’ve known for 25yrs+

My SIL has been calling me Don for nearly 30 years. We’ve given up correcting her now, but even when I did the response was “Oh, he/you doesn’t mind”

Infuriating.

We do a lot of business in Africa where they say introduce themselves as surname, forename. As a result I get called Mr Ben as lot.

I'm more commonly known by my nickname than my real name in some friendship groups. One of my mates, who I'd known for a good few years by this point, turned around to my sister and asked her why she kept calling me Carrick*. As far as I remember, her response was "Erm, because that's what's written on his birth certificate?"

*For context:
Pros: People usually remember, not much you can mix it up with easily.
Cons: Almost always have to say, spell and explain my real name to people when they first hear it...

No idea about cases but Mhairi is pronounced as Vari

Not always - I know one who does and one who pronounces it "Marry" and she is a teuchter

Whenever I am giving my name over the phone I almost always spell the whole damn thing out .  Otherwise both are usually spelt wrong.

I'm Dan. I often get called Ben. Happy to trade jobs with the Bens if either of you earn more than me.

Whenever I am giving my name over the phone I almost always spell the whole damn thing out .

G...E...Double R....Y
M....Small C....A.....S...K....I....Double L

😉

No idea about cases but Mhairi is pronounced as Vari

That was the point - it would be pronounced with an M sound in the nominative case and V in others. Source - Reddit.

Re Ben, I used to know someone from Alabama and her mum called me Bean which always amused. But really, in her accent it was Ben. So who's right?

My name’s Ben. It seems remarkable how many times people hear ‘Dan’.

Ah, so that finally explains this...

I used to have a colleague Jamie that just seemed to have an unhearable name. His voice and accent was always clear but people would call back and ask for Johnny, James, Jane, Amy, and weirdly quite often Jamis... So we all called him Jamis. It was mostly an issue for Jenny, who also had a fairly low voice, because he would screw things up for a customer then they'd phone back and think it was her.

I’ve no idea why but finding out that Moly’s real name is Ben has been a shattering experience for me

I've known Mol's real name forever, he was probably the first person I met off STW face-to-face. My shattering experience today has been discovering that PP is named Gerry. (Unless that was a joke that flew straight over my head.)

If people get my name wrong, they will always call me either Simon or Adrian.

Interesting that you should have those two names - I had a friend in Poly who was Simon Adrian, but would be randomly called by either name.

Some people call me the gangster of love.

Well, hello Maurice!

(Unless that was a joke that flew straight over my head.)

It was. It was a deliberate mishearing of TJ's actual name.

I'm actually a Craig.

or Chris....or Gregg

The issue here is that no-one ever listens to the opening line when you answer the phone. I worked in support for a while, the opener was "thank you for calling Time technical support, my name's Alan, how can I help?" but you could equally have said "thank you for calling Time technical support, you're all bastards and my cat hates you, how can I help?" and so long as it was bookended no-one would have noticed.

Everyone has called me Binners since I was at school (in 1863). I reckon there are people who I've known for years who don't know what my actual name is.

It's Adam BTW, which if not calling me Binners always gets shortened to Ad or Ads (with the one exception of my mum), apart from the landlord of my local who insists on calling my Aid, which I presume he thinks is a shortened version of Adrian

Mates daughter in deepest south of England spells her name vari. When told off in school she'd respond that if she spelled it correctly they'd pronounce it incorrectly.
"Now Mari don't be silly" was the usual reply.

It was. It was a deliberate mishearing of TJ’s actual name.

I’m actually a Craig.

or Chris….or Gregg

Aha.

Don't let Binners here that.

apart from the landlord of my local who insists on calling my Aid

Probably just thinks you need help.

I'm Alan. Some people call me 'Al' (insert one of several songs here) and I don't particularly like it. It's a concession I afford to close friends, but I have to think when someone says it because it doesn't ping that bit of your brain that can hear your name across a crowded room.

As above, a few people only know me as Cougar, it's a moniker I've used since the 1980s.

Probably just thinks you need help.

Thats a fair point. He insists on doing it despite the fact nobody else has ever called me that

yer not allowed to call me Jerry!  Where my family comes from a "jerry" is a pot that you keep under the bed

The issue here is that no-one ever listens to the opening line when you answer the phone

I had considered that, but it doesn’t explain why they ALWAYS, substitute Tom for Paul, if they get my name wrong.

Kelvin must be a less unusual name these days.

I suspect this may have something to do with that

M….Small C….A…..S…K….I….Double L

How the hell did you get that?  Thats what I get called!  It bears no resemblance to my real name

It bears no resemblance to my real name

Phonetically, it does a bit. ( in my accent anyway)

You wouldn't hear this until someone let you in on the joke, then you couldn't un-hear it.

We used to have a Paul Phillips working with us, and when his phone rang everyone else would go silent just to hear him say "Hello, Poof Lips speaking..."

Phonetically, it does a bit. ( in my accent anyway)

I guess so seeing as its happened numerous times  Lucky guess?

I’m actually a Craig.

or Chris….or Gregg

or Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy.

yer not allowed to call me Jerry! Where my family comes from a “jerry” is a pot that you keep under the bed

I don't think this was a wise comment Jerry.

Lucky guess?

Educated rather than lucky.

The dominant sound is the ASK in both.

so many name issues. I have a two name first name, no middle name. No hyphen on my birth certificate, but one must have been added at primary school. Still get called by only one of them, which is odd, just doesn't register as my name.

I also have an unusual Irish surname. a "mc" one. Got a letter for a Mr Mick XXXX 🙂
Made me laugh.

I’ve no idea why but finding out that Moly’s real name is Ben has been a shattering experience for me.

Wait, what? Why? Did you think my name was actually Molly or something?

Thats what I get called! It bears no resemblance to my real name

The cadence, or the pattern of sounds is identical.

I don’t think this was a wise comment Jerry.

I set them up!

My cousin spent 6 months studiously educating teachers and other pupils that his sister, who was joining the school the following year preferred people to use her middle name, Gwendoline*.

She absolutely hated him for that. 🤣

*her middle name isn't even Gwendoline.

’m more commonly known by my nickname than my real name in some friendship groups. One of my mates, who I’d known for a good few years by this point, turned around to my g/f and asked her why she kept calling me Paul*. As far as I remember, her response was “Erm, because that’s his name”

I have this +1, except I have two obvious nickname & one not so obvious, so depending on where/when you met me.. but I have friends who are convinced my real name is Lionel, thing is ppl really remember that name